Things that are ironic

[abcdefz]

I don't know if we have an irony thread -- I couldn't find anything after a brief search -- so I figured, heck, I'm bored; I'll start one.


...the pre-recorded announcement warns riders: "For your safety, please remain seated until the bus comes to a complete stop."

But as people are getting on the bus, as soon as the last person pays, the driver lunges the bus forward even as the new passengers are desperately grabbing railings as they stumble to an empty seat. Our roads and buses are so bumpy these folks look like drunks in an earthquake trying to keep their balance.

[b i o n i c]

alanis morisette married a rapper.

not ironic, but the first thing that came to mind (y)


edit: also, i actually talked to an old Dorothy Wood (her real name) today and she was balding.. ironic? what is that..

also she was wearing funky jewelry

[nodanaonlyzuul]

But as people are getting on the bus, as soon as the last person pays, the driver lunges the bus forward even as the new passengers are desperately grabbing railings as they stumble to an empty seat. Our roads and buses are so bumpy these folks look like drunks in an earthquake trying to keep their balance.

YES! Holy lord I always wondered why they do that. I'm usually the last one on too so I learned quickly to immediately grab a railing, whether or not it's started moving yet, cause it will.

I almost ate it the first time.

[MC Moot]

"Irony deals with opposites; it has nothing to do with coincidence. If two baseball palyers from the same hometown, on different teams, receive the same uniform number, it is not ironic. It is a coincidence. If Barry Bonds attains lifetime statistics identical to his father’s it will not be ironic. It will be a coincidence. Irony is "a state of affairs that is the reverse of what was to be expected; a result opposite to and in mockery of the appropriate result." For instance:

If a diabetic, on his way to buy insulin, is killed by a runaway truck, he is the victim of an accident. If the truck was delivering sugar, he is the victim of an oddly poetic coincidence. But if the truck was delivering insulin, ah! Then he is the victim of an irony.

If a Kurd, after surviving bloody battle with Saddam Hussein’s army and a long, difficult escape through the mountains, is crushed and killed by a parachute drop of humanitarian aid, that, my friend, is irony writ large.

Darryl Stingley, the pro football player, was paralyzed after a brutal hit by Jack Tatum. Now Darryl Stingley’s son plays football, and if the son should become paralyzed while playing, it will not be ironic. It will be coincidental. If Darryl Stingley’s son paralyzes someone else, that will be closer to ironic. If he paralyzes Jack Tatum’s son that will be precisely ironic..."

George (R.I.P) Carlin

[Guy Incognito]

the beastie BOYS

[camo]

when people tell you to take a 'chill pill' and it only makes you angrier.

[Bob]

i saw a sign on the door of a shop which said something like "open from 11 to 10: under new management, these hours are GUARANTEED!" and then on top of that there was a handwritten sign that said "back in 10 minutes"

[Guy Incognito]

i saw a sign on the door of a shop which said something like "open from 11 to 10: under new management, these hours are GUARANTEED!" and then on top of that there was a handwritten sign that said "back in 10 minutes"

11 to 10 could have meant 9:49.

plus that sign doesnt actually mean the shop was shut, you ccould have walked in, nicked the till, got caught and then defended yourself in court

[abcdefz]

I worked at a record store where the hours started at 9:10 AM. Says so right there on the sign. Sure enough, neither owner would show up
before then even if they tried, so the hour just stuck.

Weird.


(That's not ironic... we were just talking about business hours.)

[Guy Incognito]

(That's not ironic... we were just talking about business hours.)

what is ironic is that we werent actually talking.

[abcdefz]

I was bein' all colloquial and stuff.

[Guy Incognito]

I was bein' all colloquial and stuff.

yeah i know i was being pedantic and stuff. is that ironic when people say and stuff after what they have said, i mean really is there any more stuff?

its ironic that i am asking if something is ironic in an ironic thread.

like 10 thousand spoons and stuff

[Knuckles]

Here's a little example of irony from my own personal experience.

Well, this one time I went to my friend Short Dog's house to play dominoes with a group of pals. I did extremely well, even besting Little Joe and he rarely loses. I left with my ample winnings and got into my classic car (a wonderful 64 Impala I only take out on the weekends) and left for a little drive. Now here comes the crazy part, I ran into a lady I had been trying to have sexual relations with since I was a senior in high school! I had a six pack of beer, she had an ounce of some amazing marijuana, one thing led to another...

[abcdefz]

...and you played dominoes?