shame on you for pooping

[Dorothy Wood]

how come people act like you punched a puppy when you take longer than 2 seconds in the bathroom? i had to poop at the dentist earlier and some lady tried to open the door, but i didn't say anything because it was one of those doors that actually says "occupied" when you lock it. then she shook the door violently and i said "just a minute!" and she was like "well, you didn't say anything, i didn't know if anyone was in there!" when i came out, she gave me the look of death, and then didn't even go in right away.

whatever bitch, i was in there for literally 5 minutes, that's all. what was i supposed to do, shit myself in the dentist's chair so you could check your makeup?

anyway, people gotta go potty sometimes, what's the deal with shame still? shouldn't the human race be over this by now?

[jabumbo]

you should have done this (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ddUotyR3WEA)

[kaiser soze]

wait...

girls poop?

[ericlee]

That happens to me all the time. The door that clearly states occupied and the door is locked but there's always some dumb shit yanking on the door furiously. I always have something to say to them when I walk out and they want to look at me like I'm stupid.

[Helvete]

Yeah, but this one time in Denmark before a night out, myself and a couple of guys went to this gas station to buy some stuff or whatever and go for a piss in the single toilet they had there. Well these 2 stupid Danish bitches went into the toilet together and were in their for like 15 minutes (probably shooting up) so me and the boss started shaking the fuck out of the door and shouting at them.

I think that situation justified the shaking the door because damn, I really needed a piss and we had places to go!

[NicRN77]

I don't know why people are so embarrassed about pooping. It is a part of life. We all do it. I have to ask people daily if they've pooped. Just part of the job.

I was in a public bathroom once...there were like 8 stalls. I was the only one in the bathroom. This lady comes in and tries to get into my stall. WTF?!?! All the other stalls are free and she needs mine?!?!?

[TurdBerglar]

http://www.beastieboys.com/bbs/showthread.php?t=65274&highlight=traumatized

[Bob]

I don't know why people are so embarrassed about pooping. It is a part of life. We all do it. I have to ask people daily if they've pooped. Just part of the job.

I was in a public bathroom once...there were like 8 stalls. I was the only one in the bathroom. This lady comes in and tries to get into my stall. WTF?!?! All the other stalls are free and she needs mine?!?!?

was it a nice stall?

[ericlee]

http://www.beastieboys.com/bbs/showthread.php?t=65274&highlight=traumatized

the good ole days. (y)

[jabumbo]

oh man, that made me laugh so hard.

I probably would've started screaming OCCUPIED! OCCUPIED!


this could have helped the situation

[NicRN77]

was it a nice stall?



nah! It was at the Kelly's at the Jordan's IMAX in Natick!

[Planetary]

and then didn't even go in right away.

probly cause it stunk

[Freebasser]

My boss has a colostomy bag, so naturally his 'poop' (if you want to call it that), hasn't really been digested fully, and because of this it leaves a foul smell in the air - far worse than normal poop. It also leaves quite a lot of 'floating' debris and usually requires two flushes to down (many a time I've gone to the toilet at work to discover a soup of half digested peppers and nuts floating around in the crapper).

Anyway, he told me that he was at a client's BBQ a few weekends back and had to go to the toilet. He'd just emptied his bag and tried to flush when there was a knock at the door and the client told him 'Oh, don't go for a shit in there, the toilet doesn't always flush properly. You need to use the upstairs one'. Of course, he panicked and tried to flush again. Nothing happened. He tried to pour water down to make it go round the u-bend... nothing. He's trapped in there with this cup-a-soup of a shit and the stench that goes with it, and to make matters worse, a queue of BBQ goers (and potential clients) all started knocking on the door asking whoever was in there to hurry up as they needed to wash their hands / do their make up etc.

He never told me if he left with his dignity intact. I imagine not.

Also, on an xmas do a few years back I barged into the gents at the local indian restaurant (completely fucked from a night's boozing I might add) thinking it was a walk-in affair with several cubicles and urinals. Turns out it was a small broom-cupboard sized deal with a solitary shitter, and performing an S.A.S. style forced-entry manoeuvre on the door sent my boss flying into the wall as he was trying to empty his bag. Good times (y)

[Bob]

you two must be very close at this point

[Dorothy Wood]

probly cause it stunk

no it didn't, she just expected it to. i flushed as soon as the poo went in.

[Dorothy Wood]

My boss has a colostomy bag, so naturally his 'poop' (if you want to call it that), hasn't really been digested fully, and because of this it leaves a foul smell in the air - far worse than normal poop. It also leaves quite a lot of 'floating' debris and usually requires two flushes to down (many a time I've gone to the toilet at work to discover a soup of half digested peppers and nuts floating around in the crapper).

Anyway, he told me that he was at a client's BBQ a few weekends back and had to go to the toilet. He'd just emptied his bag and tried to flush when there was a knock at the door and the client told him 'Oh, don't go for a shit in there, the toilet doesn't always flush properly. You need to use the upstairs one'. Of course, he panicked and tried to flush again. Nothing happened. He tried to pour water down to make it go round the u-bend... nothing. He's trapped in there with this cup-a-soup of a shit and the stench that goes with it, and to make matters worse, a queue of BBQ goers (and potential clients) all started knocking on the door asking whoever was in there to hurry up as they needed to wash their hands / do their make up etc.

He never told me if he left with his dignity intact. I imagine not.

Also, on an xmas do a few years back I barged into the gents at the local indian restaurant (completely fucked from a night's boozing I might add) thinking it was a walk-in affair with several cubicles and urinals. Turns out it was a small broom-cupboard sized deal with a solitary shitter, and performing an S.A.S. style forced-entry manoeuvre on the door sent my boss flying into the wall as he was trying to empty his bag. Good times (y)

oh dear....

my old boss didn't have a bag, but his poo always left loose bits floating after a half hour session.

[Dorothy Wood]

also, i think your boss should just be like "hey! i have to poop in a bag and sometimes it gets gross, deal with it jerks!"


because really, what's the deal, do some people have the ability to control the size smell and timing of their poo? so much that they can pass judgement on those who didn't have the forethought to poo at home?

is forethought a word? it doesn't look right

[NicRN77]

colostomies and ileostomies really do have the worst smelling poo. I have a hard time emptying them for patients sometimes without gagging. I always feel bad for people with those things...how do you think they have sex? I don't know if I could have sex with some dude who had a bag flappin' in the wind.

[cosmo105]

Oh my god, rereading that Turdberglar story made my morning.

[ericg]

'and if you wash your ass you best use soap!'

[Kid Presentable]

A friend of mine took a shit at a dinner party once, and the music stopped just as a torpedo splash of doom occurred in the nearby WC which he was occupying. When he came out I called him Splash Gordon.

[checkyourprez]

i can't stand that shit (no pun) either. at my work in the back room there is a 1 toliet unisex bathroom. it has an occupied/vaccant thing and you can clearly see if the light is on under the door or not. and really all you need to do is gently push the knob down without the person in there even knowning its locked to see if anyone is in there.


i always get these fucking assholes who jam on that doorknob and knock when its the door is obviously clearly fucking locked, the occupied sign is on, and the light is on in there.

its like what do these dicknoses think is going on in there? there is a person in the bathroom, they are doing bathroom things, back the fuck off. i personally dont give a shit if you have to use it, go to the other side of the store and use the one in the breakroom or the public ones. its not up to me to pinch my loaf because your bladder sucks. it only makes me want to stay in there longer, and not spray the fabreez when im done.

sometimes ill have some fun with these people when they knock or jam the handle, ill just say "come in". usually leaves them pretty dumbfounded.

[Bob]

A friend of mine took a shit at a dinner party once, and the music stopped just as a torpedo splash of doom occurred in the nearby WC which he was occupying. When he came out I called him Splash Gordon.

this one time i was at a poker game with a bunch of close friends and my one friend came out of the bathroom (which was pretty close to the room we were playing in) and we could all kind of smell it and i was drunk enough to say "looks like he has a flush!"

i don't think he appreciated it but it was a while ago and we're cool now

[jackrock]

I've been told that ladies take mini poops every time they sit to pee so they don't have to have to have a mega poop, is this true?

[TurdBerglar]

well that would explain why they take so long to piss and so little time to shit

[Helvete]

I hate shitting.

[yeahwho]

I've become pretty well known to walk out of the crapper with 6-8 feet of toilet paper trailing out the back of my pants.

This effect is endlessly funny and I don't care how sophisticated the occasion is, the "toilet paper tail" hanging out your ass brings it home that you've arrived and are ready to socialize.

[NicRN77]

I've been told that ladies take mini poops every time they sit to pee so they don't have to have to have a mega poop, is this true?

?? this really can't be controlled.

[Fern]

how come people act like you punched a puppy when you take longer than 2 seconds in the bathroom? i had to poop at the dentist earlier and some lady tried to open the door, but i didn't say anything because it was one of those doors that actually says "occupied" when you lock it. then she shook the door violently and i said "just a minute!" and she was like "well, you didn't say anything, i didn't know if anyone was in there!" when i came out, she gave me the look of death, and then didn't even go in right away.

whatever bitch, i was in there for literally 5 minutes, that's all. what was i supposed to do, shit myself in the dentist's chair so you could check your makeup?

anyway, people gotta go potty sometimes, what's the deal with shame still? shouldn't the human race be over this by now?

i forgot how much I love you

[Myu-to]

What a shitty thread.