View Full Version : longest relationship ever
Dorothy Wood
10-07-2010, 12:10 PM
well jerks, I did it! I kept a man for a year. Longest before that was 10.5 months.
So, how do I keep this going? I'm getting kind of tired. I mean, it's great and all, he's my precious baby boo, but I find myself getting irritated with him more easily, and he with me. Nothing too horrible, we barely fight.
Maybe we just need haircuts.
Guy Incognito
10-07-2010, 12:14 PM
but I find myself getting irritated with him more easily, and he with me. .
welcome to long relationships!
just ask yourself what life would be like without
life would be one of lust and heart break, a never ending whirlwind of excitement and deep deep issues.
This place would be more active tho.
I'm stuck at 18 months - have been since 2004.
M|X|Y
10-07-2010, 12:25 PM
try doin' it with the lights on, you know... to keep tings spicy! its all about the endorphins (y)
Dorothy Wood
10-07-2010, 12:44 PM
welcome to long relationships!
just ask yourself what life would be like without
pretty much this:
life would be one of lust and heart break, a never ending whirlwind of excitement and deep deep issues.
and I would probably just pick up where I left off with one or two still-single gentlemen. or a dude I found out has a crush on me. He is darling, but hard to deal with. as a friend said, "you dodged a bullet".
and beside that, I would probably be lonely and miss that feeling of tender love every time we touch. :o also, nobody has a better beard or prettier skin than he.
try doin' it with the lights on, you know... to keep tings spicy! its all about the endorphins (y)
we always do it with the lights on. :cool:
HEIRESS
10-07-2010, 01:16 PM
7, no wait 8 years?
We broke up for a year of it though and I guess if you factor into it all the time spent apart due to having a long distance relationship it's really only been about 6 or so...
I would really like to live less than 4,000km from him sometime in the very near future.
Don't ever tell your significant other that getting their master's is a good idea unless their school of choice is located somewhere feasible for both of you.
He wants to get his PhD now :rolleyes:
M|X|Y
10-07-2010, 02:21 PM
we always do it with the lights on. :cool:
Looks like you got it covered then (y)
Time apart always makes love grow fonder. I have found that by inserting slightly more than comfortable times apart really does give good perspective and appreciation when things start to get a little stodgy.
Also, threesomes.
(ok no, not really)
cosmo105
10-07-2010, 02:21 PM
mine was...almost 4 years? this one's almost 2, going on the rest of forever. :) but yeah, irritation comes with it. my guy and i are both stubborn but i'm always right so it works out. really though, it takes making a conscious effort to be selfless and patient...which is really, really hard to do sometimes, especially if you're both intelligent, independent people. and share an apartment. don't get him started on my laundry habits.
MC Moot
10-07-2010, 02:22 PM
Darlin’ don’t you go and cut your hair... (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QTTgpTeb0Z8)I enjoy the D.W that receives regular lovin’ as opposed to the D.W who wasn’t...;)
cosmo105
10-07-2010, 02:23 PM
Time apart always makes love grow fonder. I have found that by inserting slightly more than comfortable times apart really does give good perspective and appreciation when things start to get a little stodgy.
this is good advice. it's hard to do, but really makes you sit and reflect and come back loving and appreciating them that much harder. even just a couple of days, when we're so used to every day, made a huge difference.
Dorothy Wood
10-07-2010, 03:10 PM
yeah, well, it seems like we've actually been spending more time apart lately and that's making us more irritable around each other for some reason.
I got a new cat, so I've had to be home all the time to make sure my other cat doesn't eat her or kick open her spay surgery incision. or I've had to go to parties for people he didn't know, and/or he's gone to shows I didn't really want to see. Plus he's in 3 bands now and busy like every day.
I get used to being alone I think...doing my own thing...and he's the same.
we both agree that we're in it for the long haul though, so I guess it's okay to focus on ourselves for a little bit instead of being all ga ga one track mind over each other.
He wants to get his PhD now :rolleyes:
if he decides to go to law school after that just dump him, i'll warn you now
my mom and her boyfriend have been together for 13 years now i think. they both like their personal space and they have an arrangement where they don't live together (though they do work together). it seems to be working. i wonder if you could have an entire marriage like that? it probably wouldn't work with kids. it'd be like "i'm going to my dad's this weekend" "oh, are they divorced?" "no, they're married, that's just how we live"
it kind of sucks that needing personal space means you can't have relationships
Dorothy Wood
10-07-2010, 03:22 PM
if he decides to go to law school after that just dump him, i'll warn you now
my mom and her boyfriend have been together for 13 years now i think. they both like their personal space and they have an arrangement where they don't live together (though they do work together). it seems to be working. i wonder if you could have an entire marriage like that? it probably wouldn't work with kids. it'd be like "i'm going to my dad's this weekend" "oh, are they divorced?" "no, they're married, that's just how we live"
it kind of sucks that needing personal space means you can't have relationships
I read an article a few years ago about a married couple who lived apart and had kids. I guess the husband was really messy and snored or something.
ah, here's the article so I can stop guessing: http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/21369007/
MC Moot
10-07-2010, 03:24 PM
It occurs to me that the word "cat" and the word "mate" are interchangeable in the following advice...(lb)
1.Isolation: Isolate the new cat completely for a few days, and especially until the new cat has been examined by a vet to be checked for any illnesses, diseases and parasites. The new cat also needs time to calm down and get used to being in a strange place, before he or she is in a good frame of mind to meet other cats.
2.Scent Familiarization: Scent familiarization with items, such as towels, rubbed on each cat, then left in the area of the other cat, while the cats are being kept separately.
3.Visual Familiarization: Seeing each other with no physical contact, such as from a slightly cracked opened door a few times a day. This is done along with Scent Familiarization.
4.Room Swapping: Switching the cats' places for a while every day, with no physical contact between them. This is added to doing Scent Familiarization and Visual Familarization.
5.Developing Positive Associations: Start developing positive associations with no physical contact, such as by feeding the cats on opposite sides of a door when cracked opened and even when it is shut. Continue with the above steps as well.
6.Short Supervised Visits: Brief, highly supervised visits paired with food or treats. Continue with Room Swapping, but Scent Familiarization and Visual Familiarization can be discontinued.
7.Separation at Signs of Hostilities: Separate the cats at signs of hostilities, or great fear. Learn cat body language to tell when a problem is starting. Click on the name of this step to read about cat body language and to see some pictures.
8.Longer, Carefully Supervised Visits: Mingling under very careful supervision for up to a few hours, before total separation again. Adjust the length of time depending upon whether there are any signs of hostilities or stress, but no matter how well things seem, do not yet permit 24/7 free mingling. Continue with Room Swapping.
9.Limited Free Mingling: When the above have gone well, free mingling except when the people are not home or asleep, so quick intervention can be done if needed.
10.Free Mingling Full Time: The cats are let together freely all the time when all the above steps have gone well. Backtrack to the limited mingling if the cats weren't quite ready to be together all the time.
Dorothy Wood
10-07-2010, 03:34 PM
ha, yeah, I had to do all that for the cats and for my boyfriend.
but now we're all mingling freely.
cosmo105
10-07-2010, 07:02 PM
That article was pretty interesting. I can't imagine living apart from my boyfriend. We've lived together since the start of the year, started dating a year before that. I love the intimacy of sharing our space. I don't mind him clipping his toenails or being a gross boy sometimes. Waking up together and coming home to each other is awesome. Having some time apart at times is essential, but getting a piece of furniture or something, and knowing it's ours is just something so nice. The way we decorated this place together and built it up to be our share space...I really like it.
TurdBerglar
10-07-2010, 07:42 PM
i will never understand why you females think about so much stuff
i will never understand why you females think about so much stuff
neither do i but no one understands women.
NicRN77
10-07-2010, 10:10 PM
my longest relationship was 3 years...and it didn't work out. That was 7 years ago....
for me its been 9 months my currents one, i usually end them at 3 months or before this one should end soon too.
skra75
10-07-2010, 10:56 PM
mine was about 10 years, give or take.
I've always had long relationships though.
But alot of the advice on here is good.
You'll fight, you'll get irritated, but if you still look at him and find a spark, something that makes you want to look deeper, then you've found the right person. If you know you couldn't live without that person than you overlook the wierd stuff that's annoying sometimes. You laugh about it and move on.
But be careful, not just to stay with him out of fear of not finding someone else. You could just be insulating yourself in a bad relationship where you end up feeling beaten down.
Bottom line I guess, just look for that balance. Age is a bitch, it creeps up on you and causes you to make stupid decisions sometimes or rest on your laurels out of fear or sadness.
Conversely, it's possible to bounce from one relationship to the next, and never find any real depth or joy.
A humans we're not quite swans and we're not quite chimpanzees or cats either. We're all built so differently, it's hard to give advice because only you will know what feels right.
Dorothy Wood
10-07-2010, 11:15 PM
you guys who can't understand women just need to hang out with different women or think for about 10 seconds longer.
skra, it's tough for me to say "i can't live without him" about any person. i know i can survive without a man. and i think that attitude is what ironically got me one.
in truth, though my honey might not be who or what my "dream" mate is, he gives me more respect and understanding than anyone i know, but can also tell me when i'm being an asshole. also, i find him so cute i can't stand it.
i guess i've just been hanging out with old guy friends lately, thinking how much fun it is and how much easier it is to joke around and make them laugh...but then i realize there's a reason i'm not dating them, it's all mostly surface reminiscing and inside jokes. and i shouldn't mistake nostalgia for intimacy.
whoa, anyway, i'm hella drunk right now. thanks for leading me to think on some stuff dudes
miss soul fire
10-08-2010, 02:46 PM
3 years and that was enough.
I get sick of people real easily. I was sick of him in the second week, but I'm so strong I managed to stay with him for 3 whole years. I'm fantastic!:D
Helvete
10-08-2010, 04:48 PM
I've only ever managed 6 months before I get bored and like 'well I'm not going to marry you so bye'. Why do girls fall in love after about this time as well? Let me decide if and when the 'love' starts.
miss soul fire
10-08-2010, 06:58 PM
I've only ever managed 6 months before I get bored and like 'well I'm not going to marry you so bye'. Why do girls fall in love after about this time as well? Let me decide if and when the 'love' starts.
That's because you haven't found the right girl. I also haven't found the right guy, so that's the way we feel about it. Someday...someday....:D
Congratulations on the 1 year hurdle. If you get married I will see if I can talk Katy Perry into singing at your reception. :D
I have been married for 10 years. Sometimes I wake up grouchy and sometimes I let her sleep.
An observation:
I've noticed that guys when they do fall in love its a deep thing of "OMFG, I can't live without this person". Women tend to fall in love more easily but fuck 'em over too many times and you'll be less than dog shit to them. The guy on the other hand for a much longer time will be saying "she was the one, why did I let it go" while the woman "he was fun but I love my new <insertstupidcutenamehere> so much more"
checkyourprez
10-09-2010, 05:58 AM
you guys who can't understand women just need to hang out with different women or think for about 10 seconds longer.
skra, it's tough for me to say "i can't live without him" about any person. i know i can survive without a man. and i think that attitude is what ironically got me one.
in truth, though my honey might not be who or what my "dream" mate is, he gives me more respect and understanding than anyone i know, but can also tell me when i'm being an asshole. also, i find him so cute i can't stand it.
i guess i've just been hanging out with old guy friends lately, thinking how much fun it is and how much easier it is to joke around and make them laugh...but then i realize there's a reason i'm not dating them, it's all mostly surface reminiscing and inside jokes. and i shouldn't mistake nostalgia for intimacy.
whoa, anyway, i'm hella drunk right now. thanks for leading me to think on some stuff dudes
(y)
miss soul fire
10-09-2010, 12:06 PM
An observation:
I've noticed that guys when they do fall in love its a deep thing ofmales "OMFG, I can't live without this person". Women tend to fall in love more easily but fuck 'em over too many times and you'll be less than dog shit to them. The guy on the other hand for a much longer time will be saying "she was the one, why did I let it go" while the woman "he was fun but I love my new <insertstupidcutenamehere> so much more"
That's becuse we do not live in the past. We know how to let them go. What's the use in crying for somebody that wasn't good enough for you. And guys who let the love of their lives to go is because they are loosers, big asses as we call those here.
GreenEarthAl
10-09-2010, 08:38 PM
My longest relationship was about 6 years. Quite an adventure it was.
My current relationship is 6 months in. So far so great.
Kid Presentable
10-09-2010, 09:14 PM
9 years this November, married for 4. Being fucking annoying is a two way street.
venusvenus123
10-10-2010, 08:10 AM
9 years this November, married for 4. Being fucking annoying is a two way street.
Abso-fucking-lutely.
When you find them annoying, think of the times you've been annoying and be grateful they put up with you.
I have been married for 10 years. Sometimes I wake up grouchy and sometimes I let her sleep.
I love this, it sums up so much in so few words.
20+ years and counting. . . Married for almost .... 12.
I hope never to have to be charting my divorce on these pages.
Not sure I have much advice, other than to remember that for most people it takes a lot of work to make a relationship work.
I have a date Tuesday. I might put out.
That's becuse we do not live in the past. We know how to let them go. What's the use in crying for somebody that wasn't good enough for you. And guys who let the love of their lives to go is because they are loosers, big asses as we call those here.
But women get pissed if a guy is with someone new immediately after the relationship is over.
venusvenus123
10-12-2010, 01:16 AM
But women get pissed if a guy is with someone new immediately after the relationship is over.
and boys don't??
I have a date Tuesday. I might put out.
I'm on this now, kinda. I'm playing with my phone to make it look like I have friends to contact as I'm early. Yup, I'm that cool.
Dorothy Wood
10-12-2010, 01:20 PM
good luck!
miss soul fire
10-12-2010, 08:14 PM
But women get pissed if a guy is with someone new immediately after the relationship is over.
I don't.
I leave my past to the past. I mean, I can talk about the past, but I leave the men I dated in the past because if it didn't work before, why would it work later. It's just a waste of time. I like new flesh!:D
gbsuey
10-13-2010, 03:52 AM
12+ years. didn't make it to 13 and am in that place now where i just think relationships,love, the whole shebang is a big fat pile of horseshit. it'll pass one day i'm sure:(
Dorothy Wood
10-13-2010, 11:47 AM
12+ years. didn't make it to 13 and am in that place now where i just think relationships,love, the whole shebang is a big fat pile of horseshit. it'll pass one day i'm sure:(
I hope it passes! Time helps, I know everyone says that....
I guess I have a different perspective on relationships because my dad's had 3 wives and my mom's had 4 husbands. (still has the last one, ha).
I'd like to think I would stay with my boyfriend for the long haul, but in truth I have no idea. He says he'd never want to have an ex-wife, but I think that's just because his parents are still married so he's a little confused about how life works. I appreciate that he would take a marital commitment so seriously though.
But even when things don't last forever, there's always gonna be someone out there who wants to hug and kiss you. It might just take a few months or years in between. :/
Dorothy Wood
10-13-2010, 11:50 AM
also, don't mean to make light of your situation, gbsuey.
I was gutted by my last break up, can't imagine how difficult divorce would be...especially with kids.
and now, sleepy puppies! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VoYNFrY7v18&feature=related
M|X|Y
10-13-2010, 12:00 PM
I'd like to be with the person I marry forever, at least that's the goal... is that really so unrealistic? :(
Dorothy Wood
10-13-2010, 12:31 PM
I'd like to be with the person I marry forever, at least that's the goal... is that really so unrealistic? :(
no no, I didn't mean it that way. I just mean it's okay to get divorced...uh, as in, you can still meet another partner that is better suited to you. because sometimes people grow apart for whatever reason. I think that point of view also helps make a relationship stronger, recognizing that people change. I don't know, I've never been married!
I tend to leave things to the stars these days. I figure since I had an inexplicable (his personality and skill set is the opposite of what I normally went for) mega-crush on my current boyfriend for 1.5 years before he gave me the time of day, he's probably meant for me or something. I can also feel where his physical pain is and know how to ease it through massage. but my last boyfriend said I gave terrible massages. so, wtf?
it's magic, dude!
M|X|Y
10-13-2010, 12:33 PM
OK, i got you (y) Yes, divorce can sometimes be the best option.
gbsuey
10-13-2010, 04:14 PM
also, don't mean to make light of your situation, gbsuey.
I was gutted by my last break up, can't imagine how difficult divorce would be...especially with kids.
and now, sleepy puppies! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VoYNFrY7v18&feature=related
Well at least we weren't married, i suppose that's one less hideous thing to have to deal with! You seem to have a good attitude toward your relationship DW. I do realize some people get it right, i just have a bit of a mental block about actually putting my faith in another person again. I think things were actually a lot shitter for a lot longer than i thought. It's nice to hear that some of you guys are genuinely happy
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