It seems like it would be impssible to give up alcohol

[Kid Presentable]

I have been off the turps for a couple of months now, and forced myself into some social situations where I'd usually drink. To my surprise I didn't do badly at all, but the reaction from other people was borderline hostile. Oh well. I think I will inevitably drink on my next birthday and during Christmas. That's kind of lame, but old habits die hard.

I have these grand ideas of giving it up for 10 years. I hear we store our anger in our livers. Anybody know much about Eastern medicine? My drinking was unhealthily solitary and borne of misery, even if it wasn't always to excess. I feel good admitting that and trying to change it. It's cleared my mind about a lot of shit.

Man reading that back, I really go all over the shop when I try to write a thread opener. Anybody else give up alcohol?

[Guy Incognito]

I have been off the turps for a couple of months now, and forced myself into some social situations where I'd usually drink. To my surprise I didn't do badly at all, but the reaction from other people was borderline hostile. Oh well. I think I will inevitably drink on my next birthday and during Christmas. That's kind of lame, but old habits die hard.

I have these grand ideas of giving it up for 10 years. I hear we store our anger in our livers. Anybody know much about Eastern medicine? My drinking was unhealthily solitary and borne of misery, even if it wasn't always to excess. I feel good admitting that and trying to change it. It's cleared my mind about a lot of shit.

Man reading that back, I really go all over the shop when I try to write a thread opener. Anybody else give up alcohol?

I have sort of. I stopped altogether about 10 years ago. I didnt like the person i was, the friends i had and was in a very bad place and a lot of that was down to drinking every night. I also smoked a lot of weed and i basically made a choice to quit one and drastically reduce the other. I still have the occasional smoke but i didnt drink for about 4 years and then its only been on christmas day and the odd wedding and stag night but its still no more than a couple in any one night. I think i have had 3 bottles of beer all year this year. Thats it.
I gave up cos i couldnt handle the mornings or the company i was keeping. I didnt necessarliy hate these people but i associated them with drinking and they brought out the worst in me, it was more my fault and my decisions. I've gone all over the shop as well, i think its one of those subjects.

You just have to keep believing your reasons for knocking it on the head.

I am quitting cigs on monday. I have been on these pills where i smoke for a week then keep taking them but stop smoking so fingers crossed.

[camo]

I will never give up drinking, but I feel I have a firm grasp of it and know that it will never spiral out of control in my life.

I do have the odd dry patch where I take my intake right down to zero but I often find myself out with my friends who are drinking and well, it just isn't a good night. I find myself disliking them for their drunken shenanigans, whereas I know that normally I'd be joining in with them.

I just wish folk wouldn't use it when they are down.

[yeahwho]

I'm a recovering alcoholic. I thought for many years most everybody I grew up with including my family were lightweights. I always had way more energy and inner wherewithal than those around me.

The problem wasn't I was different (which seemed like a convenient excuse), I was sick. I had a disease that caused incomprehensible demoralization to myself and directly affected everyone I came in contact with. I am an alcoholic. I cannot nor do I want to drink like a social drinker. I am incapable of drinking like a social drinker. I am completely addicted to booze.

One is to many, a thousand is not enough.

So I don't do drugs and I don't drink anymore, it's nothing heroic or noble. All I'm doing is giving society and myself a break. I will be forever grateful and humbled by those in Seattle AA halls that called me on my bullshit and let me know that I was in fact, not god.

I never knew alcohol was destroying my life, it is first and foremost a disease of denial, and I denied myself a decent life from age 13 to 26. Those are years I will never get back, that could of gone a lot different.

[Fern]

An alcoholic calling themsevles sick is offensive to people diagnosed with cancer, AIDS and any other disease.

[yeahwho]

I'll let those who have cancer, aids and all the other plethora of diseases about your chicken shit concerns.

Sounds like a luxury problem to me, seeing how I've attended funerals which were a direct result of cancer, aids and multiple variety of diseases outside of alcoholism.

[Lex Diamonds]

I feel I know a bit about this so here's my understanding of the issue- it's an opinion before anyone starts shitting bricks.

Excess is fine until you stop being able to live a normal life. The way I see it that's often a psychological surrender to the substance in question, whether it be due to emotional dependance, social reliance or otherwise. It can be physical of course, but that doesn't seem to be what we're talking about here.

Once you start to have trouble with work/socialising/relationships then it takes a certain kind of balls to recognise that it's become a problem, put your hands up and call it quits before it beats you. Not everyone with an addiction gets to that low point though, and everybody's got to die from something (who's going to tell a 70 year old alcy to give it up?) so there's no catch-all way of going about these things. Some people are defined by their habits and not necessarily in a bad way- as long as they realise that fact and know their limits.

Addiction is not a disease. Calling it that helps some to deal with quitting but Fern is right, it can come off as offensive to those with truly life-ending and incurable afflictions.

Kid P, I'm glad you're feeling positive about the change you decided to make and I hope it works out and brings you to the mental state you want to be in. Keep sharing anyway, that's always good for the mental side of these things.

[Dorothy Wood]

well, you guys saying alcoholism isn't a disease either have never had to deal with an actual alcoholic or you're alcoholics in denial.

anyway, i wouldn't want to give up drinking, but as i get older it's been losing its appeal. and my boyfriend's been sober for 7 years. he usually just says "i don't drink" when inevitably he's offered a beer, and it's never been too awkward. hanging out with him makes me realize how much alcohol is a part of every single social activity. it's also gotten me used to not getting crazy drunk as often as i used to, and helped me learn how to deal with being sober.

ultimately i'm glad that i have the option of drinking.

but it's definitely possible, healthier and just as fun to focus on activities that don't involve alcohol.

[Bob]

i don't think that comparing alcoholism to AIDS and cancer and shitting on alcoholics for recognizing that something is wrong with them is productive. you don't do that with other diseases or disorders. "oh, you have crohn's? suck it up you asshole cancer is worse"

of course an alcoholic isn't in the same boat as a cancer victim. so what? it's still a real thing. like being an alcoholic isn't bad enough, now they have to worry about offending people with worse diseases? how's that help?

like yeahwho said, an alcoholic can't drink like a normal drinker, he's got a problem that a healthy person doesn't have. and accepting that you have that problem and making the effort to fix it or at least live with it (in a society where booze is absolutely everywhere) is hard enough without people finding you offensive for calling your problem a disease.

no, it isn't AIDS but it still kind of sucks to have so deal with it

[Lex Diamonds]

I think I made my point pretty clearly. Alcoholism is not a disease in any literal sense, but calling it that serves a positive purpose as it helps some people deal with their problem. Bear in mind that the vast majority of people who accept they have a problem with alcohol don't refer to it as a "disease".

I never said it wasn't a serious problem, neither was I "shitting on alcoholics". Jesus.

[Kid Presentable]

It's double edged - it's a problem when you stop being able to live a normal life, but I also think it's a problem when you're functioning and still drinking unhealthily and 'managing' it. And I know a bunch of people in their early 30s, they're partying so hard they're really just functioning alcoholics. And they have some deep seeded issues, to boot.

One friend of ours, she can't have kids, her facebook updates (yes a lame example, but they are very revealing even if they aren't supposed to be) are either about getting hammered, or feeling sick. If it were crack, she would be a crackhead. I know there are things in her life she isn't happy about. I looked at her, and thought how just one person in her semi-close circle trying to break their own self-destructive cycle might make her think. Her latest update was about abstaining for a night. I won't take credit for it, but that was positive.

I have deep seeded issues too, and I have a good life, which I manage fairly well. But the drinking was becoming just one thing too many which I didn't need exacerbating it. This probably won't last, I sort of hope it does, but it's not even like we have a choice these days. The smiley face happy place pack mentality of the dinner party barbecue crowd is the trap they set for you once you get to your late 20s, it seems.

[Kid Presentable]

I'm a recovering alcoholic. I thought for many years most everybody I grew up with including my family were lightweights. I always had way more energy and inner wherewithal than those around me.

The problem wasn't I was different (which seemed like a convenient excuse), I was sick. I had a disease that caused incomprehensible demoralization to myself and directly affected everyone I came in contact with. I am an alcoholic. I cannot nor do I want to drink like a social drinker. I am incapable of drinking like a social drinker. I am completely addicted to booze.

One is to many, a thousand is not enough.

So I don't do drugs and I don't drink anymore, it's nothing heroic or noble. All I'm doing is giving society and myself a break. I will be forever grateful and humbled by those in Seattle AA halls that called me on my bullshit and let me know that I was in fact, not god.

I never knew alcohol was destroying my life, it is first and foremost a disease of denial, and I denied myself a decent life from age 13 to 26. Those are years I will never get back, that could of gone a lot different.

Not for nothing, but I underhandedly 'baited' you with this thread. Thanks for sharing, I sort of knew your story through some of your posts, but I was interested in your perspective. (y)

In particular, I too have years which I just obliterated myself (some very crucial years where life could have gone in many directions), and to be honest at one point I was barely even in my marriage. I never talked to my wife about feeling that way, but she has had to deal with a shell of a husband for some of our time together, which makes me feel pretty disappointed and determined to be a little better than I was. Not just for her, though. For me.

[yeahwho]

It doesn't matter, I absolutely insist on enjoying life. In AA new people who really need help have such a fear of things like the 12 steps or God or having to go to meetings or what about my Friday night... anyway the list goes on and on and on for excuses to keep drinking and getting high.

I know because I went to two treatment centers (Court appointed from DUI's) and half a dozen attempts at AA (all half hearted one time events).

The bottom line is you either get honest with yourself and gain some humility about what alcohol did to you or you don't. I was fortunate that everything lined up just right for me when I finally decided to get sober, the right people and the right system.

I don't give a shit if anybody goes against the disease theory or the 12 step theory or any of the other theories involved with alcoholism. I can only share my story, which is I was a chronic alcoholic drug addict who basically lived in a car down by the canal. My nickname in school was shaky. When I first came to AA people were sort of freaked out by me (that is saying a lot if you knew where I went to AA at, a very low bottom hall) but I overcame all of those fears and obstacles. I had a desire, I won't even say an honest desire to not die a drunk. Or worse continue to live in the state I was. That made it easy for me to listen, keep an open mind and be humble enough to realize other people actually wanted to help me. Help me with nothing in return. Unconditional tough love is what I got.

It's just been fucking great, I have a career I love, people in my life are all special to me now, not just someone to get booze money from... and if I wanted to I could buy everybody who posted the past week on the BBMB a steak dinner with a cocktail, at a nice place, really I have the cash. Unfortunately I've been restored to some form of sanity and won't be doing that... today, maybe I'll change my mind though tomorrow.

I always really wanted to enjoy life but I never had the tools, I started drinking at a very young age and bottomed out rapidly between 23-26. I honestly cannot tell of a day in my last three years of drinking that I did not blackout. I was in serious trouble every waking moment.

[Kid Presentable]

Yeah I don't know if I need the 12 steps, but I couldn't do them if one of them has to do with God.

[Lex Diamonds]

It doesn't matter, I absolutely insist on enjoying life. In AA new people who really need help have such a fear of things like the 12 steps or God or having to go to meetings or what about my Friday night... anyway the list goes on and on and on for excuses to keep drinking and getting high.

I know because I went to two treatment centers (Court appointed from DUI's) and half a dozen attempts at AA (all half hearted one time events).

The bottom line is you either get honest with yourself and gain some humility about what alcohol did to you or you don't. I was fortunate that everything lined up just right for me when I finally decided to get sober, the right people and the right system.

I don't give a shit if anybody goes against the disease theory or the 12 step theory or any of the other theories involved with alcoholism. I can only share my story, which is I was a chronic alcoholic drug addict who basically lived in a car down by the canal. My nickname in school was shaky. When I first came to AA people were sort of freaked out by me (that is saying a lot if you knew where I went to AA at, a very low bottom hall) but I overcame all of those fears and obstacles. I had a desire, I won't even say an honest desire to not die a drunk. Or worse continue to live in the state I was. That made it easy for me to listen, keep an open mind and be humble enough to realize other people actually wanted to help me. Help me with nothing in return. Unconditional tough love is what I got.

It's just been fucking great, I have a career I love, people in my life are all special to me now, not just someone to get booze money from... and if I wanted to I could buy everybody who posted the past week on the BBMB a steak dinner with a cocktail, at a nice place, really I have the cash. Unfortunately I've been restored to some form of sanity and won't be doing that... today, maybe I'll change my mind though tomorrow.

I always really wanted to enjoy life but I never had the tools, I started drinking at a very young age and bottomed out rapidly between 23-26. I honestly cannot tell of a day in my last three years of drinking that I did not blackout. I was in serious trouble every waking moment.
You tell this in such a positive way, it's awesome that you managed to turn it round so emphatically. So was it a religious thing like Kid P said or? Although I'm an atheist I do think religion has some very important benefits for some people, this type of redemption being a main one of them.

[yeahwho]

Yeah I don't know if I need the 12 steps, but I couldn't do them if one of them has to do with God.

All I can say is this, don't let the word "God" on a piece of paper be a deciding factor in your choice, I know exactly where you're coming from. It's not a requirement to improve your life, don't even let the 12 step system stop you.

It's all bullshit if you have to stop drinking or die, I remember wondering WTF is the "Lords Prayer" they were reciting after meetings... honestly I had no idea. I just mumbled it the first few weeks so I didn't stand out by not joining in. I have at least a dozen friends in AA who refuse to participate with the "God" concept and I capitulate constantly, it isn't important if you are just stumbling in. It's nobody's business how you define a power greater than yourself.

The important thing is this, you are Not God. Of all the people who've crossed my path in AA meetings none of them are any more special than the other, it's truly humbling to see a whole group of ex-derelicts sitting around drinking coffee and talking about not drinking all day. The group has always been my higher power, it's a rush. Because I know how ripped we all used to be.

The big double A has a lot of whacked out people who've spent a majority of their lives in the bottom of a glass. I've met people from every walk of life imaginable in AA. From street kids to multi-millionaires. You would not believe some of the characters I've hung with around the past few years.

There's a pretty crazy dynamic going on when you quit drinking and having others around who've been through it really helps. I'll stop there but now I've got that dorky Adam Ant song going through my head, you know the one that goes, you don't drink, don't smoke, what do you do? goody two shoes.

[cosmo105]

For a couple years there I was starting to do it way too much way too often - this summer especially I got out of hand a bit too many times. It just wasn't fun anymore, though, and the way I felt the next day (and being worried about how I acted/things I said) helped me decide to cut it out. I haven't stopped entirely, still have some wine with dinner here and there and maybe a beer or two at a party, but even that has lost its appeal. Like D said, it really is a huge part of social gatherings. Having fun without it has gotten much easier, though. It helps to have a great travel mug or what have you to carry around and fill with water every so often just so you have something to do with your hands other than a can (y)

[M|X|Y]

club soda and orange juice is a good decoy drink if you're tryin to keeps it cleang

[Dorothy Wood]

last night I kept it cleanish by buying a really nice 8 dollar beer and sipping it.

mostly because I was like, "fuck, 8 dollars..."

I'm the jerk who asked the bartender for a recommendation though. :/ (Somehow I was under the impression we were in a dive bar...but turns out it was a fancy beer bar that just looked shitty.)

then I went home and hung out with my cats and drank 2 Red Stripes from the fridge, ja mon.

[Freebasser]

I don't know if I've ever mentioned on here before (possibly) but my mum was an alcoholic, an affliction brought about by her domineering mother. I say she 'was' an alcoholic because up until about 7 months ago that was the only way I'd ever known her. Drinking was her only interest. Having three loving children and a doting husband was never enough. In her rare sober moments she would profess her guilt or try and seek help for her addiction, but sure enough she would slip back into her routine within days. I've lived through too many false dawns to count.

During the 26 years I've spent on this planet she has survived an alcohol induced car crash, she's survived falling in the bath and nearly snapping her neck, and countless other near misses. I was an emotionally (and occasionally literally) scarred child and teenager. I grew up before I was ready to because I often had to act as her sole carer. People who would pick on me at school for never going out were out in parks drinking cider, unaware that the reason I was staying at home was to look after somebody who couldn't be trusted to get out of bed without falling over. However, those years are gone and there's nothing I can do about it, but it didn't half make me resent her.

7 months ago she had one drink too many and slipped into a vegetative state. The doctor said she might never recover. I thought I was never going to see her again, and that if I did, she would need round the clock care. Over the next two weeks I saw her gradually come back to health, kept on oxygen and fed through a drip. She was unable to eat without coughing up buckets full of blood because her innards had been pulverised by alcohol. It took a month or so for her normal (sober) personality to come back. She was often confused and unsure of events unfolding around her because her brain had had enough after years of abuse.

Happily, I can now report that she has gone 7 months without a drink. She is a new person. I don't think I've ever known this side to her before. A caring, funny side. Until now, all I'd ever known was years of obscenities and abuse. Our relationship has been close to breaking point over the years, but I think it's finally on the mend. She doesn't want to drink - says she never enjoyed the taste, and only ever drank it to escape from reality. Her legs are near-crippled from years of lying in bed all day drinking. However, she is about to start a course of physiotherapy to help her try and get more out of remaining years. She wants to take up her art again, but her hands are perpetually shaking - far too unsteady to hold a brush.

Only now does she realise what she's done to herself, but I fear it could all be too late. She's finally ready to live her life, but her body is failing her. I only hope that she retains this new found will power and manages to finally enjoy her life in whatever ways she can.

I try not to be too upbeat. Face to face I tell her I love her, and tell her how brave she is for giving up and how proud I am, but every day I fear that she will lapse and I will lose her forever. Alcohol addiction destroys lives - not just of those with the alcohol addiction, but those who love them.

Not sure where I'm going with this - just wanted to vent (y)

[cosmo105]

Wow. Thank you for sharing that, Aidles.

[M|X|Y]

Word up, Freebasser... thank you.

[Dorothy Wood]

dang freeb, glad you get the chance to know your real mom after all these years.

[Nivvie]

I come from a long line of alcoholics (the quiet sort that quiet put away substantial amounts of booze without it really effecting their behaviour) and I find the smell of booze quite off-putting. After the inital novelty of teenage drinking I had no booze from ages of 18 to 32. It actually began to feel a bit like a hang up, and now I have the odd drink if I'm in the mood, but could never actually get drunk. That'd be too weird.

People have me a hard time for not drinking as I always drove. No one knocks you when you're their ride home.

My mum worries about the state of my dad's liver, and according to what I recently read in a nursing journal, it's the 'dripping tap syndrome' people need to worry about. The amount of alcohol a person can process is relative to each individual (eg. Lemmy??!!) but to have alcohol everyday doens't give the liver a chance to regenerate properly, so they now say drinking lots over a few days is better than spacing out the same amount each day. Two booze free days a week at least is good.

[Bob]

My mum worries about the state of my dad's liver, and according to what I recently read in a nursing journal, it's the 'dripping tap syndrome' people need to worry about. The amount of alcohol a person can process is relative to each individual (eg. Lemmy??!!) but to have alcohol everyday doens't give the liver a chance to regenerate properly, so they now say drinking lots over a few days is better than spacing out the same amount each day. Two booze free days a week at least is good.

uh oh. on average, about how much daily drinking can a person take before bad things happen? i had probably about a year and a half of that

[M|X|Y]

I dated a girl who, when her dad would visit from out of state, would drink a full quart of vodka and a bottle of orange slice a night. Twisted. The man looked pretty good for his age other than the red face and his fat glowing honker, I could never understand how one could function like that. From what I understand he's been doing this for at least 30 years, he's in his late 60's and still working full time and traveling frequently :confused: . Regardless it was a sad thing to be around, poor guy turned into the biggest whiny bitch when he was drunk.. I think he hated himself.

I heard he made an attempt at AA but I don't believe he stuck with it.

P.S. You're dead, Bob.

[Bob]

oh no

well thanks for the answer

[M|X|Y]

you got it (y)

[Lex Diamonds]

Don't worry Bob I'm a few years further in so I'll let you know when I start dying. (y)

[Nivvie]

uh oh. on average, about how much daily drinking can a person take before bad things happen? i had probably about a year and a half of that

Impossible to say. My mum's family are in Italy and they drink wine everyday and all live to be ancient, so it's really dependent on other factors like diet and lifestyle too. And some people are just good at drinking.

The general guideline is no more than four units a day for a man (one measure of spirit or half and pint of beer = 1), but plenty of people have more than that and live to be 90.

Eat grapes. They help you're liver repair itself (but not when in the form of wine).

And they'll keep you regular, too.

[Dorothy Wood]

I dated a girl who, when her dad would visit from out of state, would drink a full quart of vodka and a bottle of orange slice a night. Twisted. The man looked pretty good for his age other than the red face and his fat glowing honker, I could never understand how one could function like that. From what I understand he's been doing this for at least 30 years, he's in his late 60's and still working full time and traveling frequently :confused: . Regardless it was a sad thing to be around, poor guy turned into the biggest whiny bitch when he was drunk.. I think he hated himself.

I heard he made an attempt at AA but I don't believe he stuck with it.

P.S. You're dead, Bob.


An old boyfriend of mine developed a problem a few years after we dated.
(We've remained friends and kept in touch over the years.) When we dated he was really skinny, but he puffed up and got fat and red-faced from drinking...and he was only in his mid-20's. He told me he'd drink a liter of vodka and a 6 pack of beer a day. He had a very good job and a fiance (now wife), a house, car, the whole bit. I guess the fiance was an enabler of sorts.

I don't know how he quit drinking, but he did before the wedding, and he looks so much healthier now. (We kinda stopped talking in depth out of consideration to his wife...she dislikes me, even though dude and I only dated for a few months in 2002, ah well....)

Anyway, I forgot my point...maybe that it's easy to exist that way, drinking so much, until you just can't anymore. I guess my current boyfriend used to drink secretly all the time, all day long sometimes. and I guess he used to be the type who got thrown out of places. He quit when he got arrested for B&E (a funny drunken idea gone horribly wrong), rather than for health problems though.

[M|X|Y]

I was thinking whether to call it a quart or a liter... my metric systemz is all off. Liter, yes that's what I meant..

One of my best friends used to be a raging drinker among all other things. He's been clean for a few years now, I never EVER thought I'd see him this way. It's kind of weird seeing him as clean as he is now - if there ever was an example to show that anything is possible its him. He went from animal to manimal and the change has been quite dramatic. He's thrown himself into his work, eating right, exercise, etc... its like he has taken to being clean with the same zeal that he used to get fucked up with. Bottom line, if he can do it, ANYONE can do it.. you just have to want it.

Boners and Erections? What's B&E?

[Dorothy Wood]

breaking and entering.

don't fuck around in a vacant building, folks...especially when the owner is jewish and it's a high holiday.

[Lex Diamonds]

Yeah thanks for the advice but I wouldn't have done that anyway.

[fucktopgirl]

Salut tout le monde!!

It's been months that i came here, and i see this thread about giving up alcool, and it is a part of my life atm. I was not an everyday drinker but when i drank, i did it quite well. I've been doing it this way for many years, then at time, i had little spark of illumination and decided to stop it for a little while , 2-3 months. I found it hard to be in social gathering without drinking, like some of you said but after a while, you get use to it and i was feeling much better.

Anyway, after those little moment of liver regeneration, i was back at it, i could drank 1bottle and half of wine easily in one night, maybe for some of you it is not that much but fucking hell, it is indeed quite an huge amount for the body, when you repeat this once a week or twice at time.

I hit the wall pretty badly 2 week ago, i went to a Bad religion show, and i fucking drank like there was no tomorrow...next day, i was fucked and pretty damage and i had a huge pain in the region of my spleen-pancreas and stomach.


Yep, so, i decided that my body was tired of that shit , so no more drinking for me and if i ever drink again, i will sip maybe one glass of wine or two, no excess. Two week ago, i though i would died literally, now i feel much better, it amazing how the body can regenerate itself quite rapidly .


So yeah,alcohol can be quite toxic, fuck that!! But i can tell you that tea party are a bit less exciting tho:D

okidou!

[ericlee]

I woke up this morning at about 4am. I was standing next to my heater in the bedroom with my willy hanging out and my wife yelling, "Eric, what are you trying to do?!!!?."

I had some beers last night and I don't drink as much as I used to so my tolerance has lowered.

Well, it took a while of thinking about what I was doing and the last thing I remember was I had a dream that I was at work and about to take a piss in the urinal. Glad she stopped me before I began the waterworks.

[Dorothy Wood]

Yeah thanks for the advice but I wouldn't have done that anyway.

he didn't actually, his friend did. He was just caught waiting outside, but the cops were jerks about it, claimed he was carrying burglary tools (he wasn't).

Anyway, they were just doing it because they had been really interested in anarchy and what not. They wanted to see how easy it would be to squat somewhere (obviously, not as easy as they thought). Either way, they were both wasted and it was dumb.


A friend of mine breaks into abandoned buildings all the time to take photos though, she's never gotten arrested. just luck of the draw I guess. she's also not drunk when she does it, which probably makes her more stealthy.