My mom

[TOY]

Okay - so before a certain somebody decides to rear her ugly head and send me a private message about me seeking attention by posting this, I've only one thing to say - fuck you, you cauliflower whore :)


My mom was just diagnosed with breast cancer, and I'm having a REALLY difficult time dealing with it all. I work full-time, mom's still waiting for disability to push through - I had to emotionally prostitute myself for money to borrow from friends, which I hate having to do/never liked being a "charity case", but you gotta do what you gotta do? Landlord threatened to kick us out last month.

I just turned 24 and feel like the mother. I stay up all night long listening to my mom and her drunken ramblings because I legitimately feel BAD. I love her. But I'M TIRED AND I WANT TO SLEEP TOO.

My sister is of no help. She moved out over the summer, and when I ask her to go to the store for my mom while I'm at work (she's currently out of work/on disability herself for some sort of mental problem, idfk), it's always "NO - NOT MY PROBLEM!", which I guess true. But you can't get mom some orange juice and roll around in bed all day?

I actually cater to both their needs. My mom, her fear of dying. My sister, her fear of my mother dying. I play monkey in the middle a lot because they feud constantly over superfluous shit. But now I'm floundering really bad, you know, "inside". I can't enjoy my life anymore. My relationship has gone sour with my boyfriend because, of course, all I want to do is sleep (when I can). Bottom line - I AM DEPRESSED, but feel so much guilt for being depressed because it shouldn't be about me - it should be about my mom? Christ.

Am I wrong for wanting my independence even though my mom has cancer? And she isn't even dying, either - it's slow-growing - stage 1. A double mastectomy has to be done, yeah, but no lymph node issues, etc.


Has anyone been in a situation similar to mine with their parents? ffff

[brad f'in keith]

the way it was between me and my mom was fine till this state of america began back in 2008. my mom started feeling sick and we found that she has a growing tumor in her head. she had to quit work becuase things got serius but she couldnt pay for bills any more so she had to strat renting out rooms. she now has all the rooms in the house including the living room and the garage rented out to strangers i had to get a job to help pay for bills but after working from 3 to 11 every day after school i just eventually moved in with my girl friend. theres no room to live with my mom and my dad doesnt want any thing to do with me so in a way i no how you feel you dont want to lose your mom and your willing to do any thing for her but you come to a point where you just kinda let go and relize that what ever happens happens and some times there is nothing you can do about it it is a sad thing but ome times there nothing to do:(

[cosmo105]

Definitely don't feel bad about this taking a toll on you. You're human and it's a lot for life to ask of you. Get some counseling if you can - sometimes workplaces offer free help lines or something, or maybe your city does. It's worth reaching out.

No one should be expected to handle all of that gracefully. Hope she makes a swift recovery (y)

[saz]

I had to emotionally prostitute myself for money to borrow from friends, which I hate having to do/never liked being a "charity case", but you gotta do what you gotta do? Landlord threatened to kick us out last month.

but she couldnt pay for bills any more so she had to strat renting out rooms. she now has all the rooms in the house including the living room and the garage rented out to strangers i had to get a job to help pay for bills but after working from 3 to 11 every day after school

move to canada, no one should have to endure this shit

[NicRN77]

I'm so sorry you have to go through this. It really is difficult. Definitely seek counseling. That will be the best for you. Research some support groups for cancer...for you and also for your mom. I'm sure her cancer center has numbers for support groups. I work here in Boston directly with Dana Farber Cancer Institute and there are LOTS of support groups for patients and family members. Please don't think you need to face this alone!

[MCD]

sorry for your situation, and most def. not kidding here, but introduce (?) your moms to the herb. could help with the ramblings and let you both sleep...

[nodanaonlyzuul]

:( I can't imagine how much pressure and emotions this situation must put you through. I don't have personal experience with it, but it sounds like the suggestions made by others about counseling may be the best way to help you manage or at least give you tools to help you manage while trying to support your family.

That's a really rough situation.

In addition, if you haven't already, explain the situation to your boyfriend. Knowing what you are going through, he should be more supportive and understanding that you are not in the easiest spot right now in your life with all of this going on.