photos/videos of dead or dying family members

[nodanaonlyzuul]

My Grandma died some time ago, but while she was on her death bed in the hospital, several of my cousins took photos with her and video and such. I realize that we all wanted to still have our last moments with our Grandma, it wasn't my preference to have a photo of her as she is dying but maybe having those photos and video for themselves because that's what they want, fine.

But near the anniversary of her passing they are posting them up on facebook for everyone to see. My Grandmother was in pain, with a feeding tube and a billion other things hooked in to her, and she looked like a skeleton because she was literally wasting away. Maybe but I'm in the minority, but if I'm posting photos in remembrance of my Grandmother, I'd post photos of her happy and healthy. Not photos of her on her death bed.

Am I completely missing the point here, or is it actually a weird thing to post such photos and videos?

[Kid Presentable]

When someone you love passes away, I think you do them a tremendous disservice if the main thing you remember them for is dying.

[saz]

yeah that's pretty fucked up.

who would want to see that shit and why is perplexing.

[Bob]

my grandma died of lung cancer when i was young, and in her last stages she got so bad that she actually didn't want me to visit her because she didn't want me to remember her like that.

i couldn't imagine she'd have wanted to be memorialized on facebook like that. not that it existed back then.

[Yeti]

Just the other day a FB friend from my high school days posted photos of her father in hospice care. I thought it was inappropriate and sad. He died yesterday and she posted more photos.

[Dorothy Wood]

Holy shit! I had no idea people were doing things like this.

My grandma passed away about 2 years ago, but my family doesn't memorialize the occasion. I just try to keep her in my heart, and remember her good influence.

I think I would scream and cry if somebody put up a picture of her near the end of her life. I do not get what the motivation to do that would be.

A friend of mine recently lost her father, and put up old pictures, but ones from the 70's and 80's of him looking handsome and fun. I can see the reasoning behind that sorta.

[NicRN77]

that is just disgusting. I don't know why anyone would want to remember someone they love like that. I'm a nurse and I have seen a couple family members take pictures of their loved ones sick in the bed...even seen people take pictures of the dead body. Just gross. I don't understand why you would want to remember that.

[jackrock]

Holy shit! I had no idea people were doing things like this.



I've heard of people ppotsing their fuckin miscarriages on fb, the fuck shit.

[HEIRESS]

It's only cool to post hospital photos if the person is on the mend.

A lot of idiots post their pregnancy news within minutes of their finding out. Does no-one follow the 3 month rule anymore?

A friend of my boyfriends posted the grossest home water birth photos of his wife. She is obviously naked in all of them except for a thin sports bra and you only manage to not to see her vagina due to the angle of the photos.
The best one is where he is sitting on the edge of the tub holding his seconds old baby and in the background his wife is still sitting in the tub full of bloody birthing water, and her eyes happened to be closed when the photo was taken so she looks dead as well. IDIOTSIDIOTSIDIOTS

[Schmeltz]

Exact same story here, except me and my siblings and cousins had the good taste to commemorate our grandmother as she was - when she passed last December, we all changed our FB pictures for a few days to portraits of her when she was younger. My idiot uncles, on the other hand, couldn't seem to stop snapping pictures of their mother lying on her deathbed, emaciated, disoriented, and on a ventilator. And of course they're all on FB now. I think my father even took a few. I would say something, but the hell with it, I don't even use FB anymore. It's just the stupidest shit ever. Especially for stuff like this.

[Schmeltz]

HEIRESS: kind of like this (http://www.flickr.com/photos/dayan/99202525/)?

[TurdBerglar]

aren't mexicans kinda weird when it comes to death?

[HEIRESS]

HEIRESS: kind of like this (http://www.flickr.com/photos/dayan/99202525/)?

Yes! How did I forget that!

[Guy Incognito]

when my first daughter was born, my dad was very very sick. We didnt really know how bad he was but he looked very ill. Unknown to us he didnt have very long and basically had struggled to survive purely to see his first grandchild.
We took her along to see him at his house and i obviously wanted to take a picture but he didnt seem keen and we thought it best not to take.

I was a little dissapointed but as i was hopeful my dad would get a little better (he had empyshema) I figured we could get a picture of him and my daughter at a slightly later date.

2 days later he was rushed to hospital. He was given less than a day to live. He spent 3 weeks in hospital before he passed away. He never got another chance to see his grandchild as we were advised not to bring a new baby into hospital. I took a photo of my daughter in for him to keep his spirits up.

I never got a photo of them together but the photo i gave him in hospital is still pride of place at home and that stands as a good reminder of him. I dont remember him dying, i just remember the smile on his face when i first showed him the photo and remember the only time he held her.

[Adam]

When my dad had cancer, he took a look a photos of him & the family - he was somewhat of an amateur photographer. Didn't like the photos at the time but when I saw them sometime after his death it was too upsetting and we destroyed them. Don't want to remember my Dad like that.

At first it was remembering him how he was in his final 6 months, it's 4 years tomorrow since his death and now I remember him as the Dad he was for my first 26 years (y)

I can see why people do it at the time, but keeping them too long after the greaving is a little weird.

[trailerprincess]

when my first daughter was born, my dad was very very sick. We didnt really know how bad he was but he looked very ill. Unknown to us he didnt have very long and basically had struggled to survive purely to see his first grandchild.
We took her along to see him at his house and i obviously wanted to take a picture but he didnt seem keen and we thought it best not to take.

I was a little dissapointed but as i was hopeful my dad would get a little better (he had empyshema) I figured we could get a picture of him and my daughter at a slightly later date.

2 days later he was rushed to hospital. He was given less than a day to live. He spent 3 weeks in hospital before he passed away. He never got another chance to see his grandchild as we were advised not to bring a new baby into hospital. I took a photo of my daughter in for him to keep his spirits up.

I never got a photo of them together but the photo i gave him in hospital is still pride of place at home and that stands as a good reminder of him. I dont remember him dying, i just remember the smile on his face when i first showed him the photo and remember the only time he held her.

Same situation with us - my brother and his gf had their first baby but because my dad was in hospital they couldn't bring her to see him but we all gave him lots of photos and he had about 12 next to his bed which he would rotate around regularly (in manner of lo-fi digital picture frame) and we have one of her (at 9 days old) on the phone to grandad and it always make us smile.... I'd post a pic on FB of my dad looking like a dude in the 70s but why would anyone want to commemorate someone by putting up pics of their loved ones dying. Fracking weirdos.

[MC Moot]

When my Grandmother was passing after a stroke, in Spain my father and I flew back to do the traditional bed side vigil…no one can be alone at their moment of death in our culture…for some reason my Dad wanted to take pictures of her for my siblings and I was vehemently opposed as I knew my Grandmother would so disapprove…she was a very strong, proud woman who was always camera weary to begin with…to capture her in this state was abhorrent to me…any way’s long story short, when I was flying out of Madrid I fell asleep in the airport and some ladrones cut my bag off me which contained the camera and all the film I had shot, including that of grandma…I’d never felt so good about being stolen from in my life…that was higher power pulling strings, without doubt…

[monkey]

facebook seems like such an impersonal place to put such delicate memories, but people have different thresholds for this stuff now-a-days. i feel weird saying that, since ive obviously have had much less of an issue with sharing online in the past and i had less of an issue with it while a large number of people i know still considered it an issue at that point (namely, from the 90's till the pre-fb days). but it feels like people that are newer to internetz right now, like older people, previous technophobes and kids, they have a different view on the idea of internet privacy and appropriateness. to me, it's weird.

[Lex Diamonds]

I made a post in here earlier and now it's gone... what the fuck? If that's the mods then fuck you, totally unnecessary censorship.

[silence7]

Case in point, 2nd page on reddit right now.....
http://www.reddit.com/r/pics/comments/gfkpf/my_grandfather_passed_away_at_305am_today_his/

I doubt he wanted to be remembered for taking 5 minutes to spell out INTERNET.

[skra75]

My Grandma died some time ago, but while she was on her death bed in the hospital, several of my cousins took photos with her and video and such. I realize that we all wanted to still have our last moments with our Grandma, it wasn't my preference to have a photo of her as she is dyiAm I completely missing the point here, or is it actually a weird thing to post such photos and videos?

My grandma passed away a few weeks ago. I wanted to remember her from all the xmas 's and visits from when I was little. At her funeral I celebrated her life and the special things she did. It was weird when ppl spoke about her suffereing at the last moments of her life...

[venusvenus123]

Am I completely missing the point here, or is it actually a weird thing to post such photos and videos?

It's very weird, and quite upsetting, I would imagine.

[Jane*]

Not that these things were on facebook BUT I worked at a professional photo lab for sometime and I saw the following.

1. professional photos with a dead baby
2. dead son, aged 13 or so, photoshopped into family portraits. Not a little circle, floating in the corner of his smiling head, photoshopped in like he's physically standing there with the family. Every year, family portraits, everyone ages but him.

WEIRDO IMO.

On a lighter note, a very portly woman with a double chin (visable regardless of angle or smile) had the second chin removed from every wedding picture she had printed. EVERY PICTURE.

[M|X|Y]

some spanish people are weird about their dead, i dunno

http://www.autoblog.com/2010/04/27/puerto-rican-funeral-home-presents-shooting-victim-on-his-motorc/

http://www.insideworldsoccer.com/2011/03/colombian-fans-bring-friends-coffin-to.html

[nodanaonlyzuul]

I feel relieved to know that I am not completely off-base by being weirded out by the photos.

Despite the Mexican/Spanish heritage, my Grandmother was second generation. She was definitely NOT traditional.

The rest of us third and fourth generation are not traditional at ALL (except the not believing in birth control thing, but that's not religious, it's because "I take it but it doesn't work!" ...uh huh :rolleyes:).

[Planetary]

The best one is where he is sitting on the edge of the tub holding his seconds old baby and in the background his wife is still sitting in the tub full of bloody birthing water, and her eyes happened to be closed when the photo was taken so she looks dead as well.

haha

[yeahwho]

I made a post in here earlier and now it's gone... what the fuck? If that's the mods then fuck you, totally unnecessary censorship.

Whoa chill, was that the comment about rigor mortis and bowels? 'cause i think they just move it down to the recipes section.