so, I found my estranged father on facebook

[Dorothy Wood]

should I request his friendship?

he looks old, he married his 4th wife in january. she's old too. my nephew graduated from college, and my niece is married. one of my half brother's on facebook too. hadn't seen him in over 25 years.

it's like bizarro world.

I might just leave it alone....although it does say my dad is president and ceo of an engineering firm. maybe he can afford to pay me the child support he skipped out on?

[miss soul fire]

should I request his friendship?

he looks old, he married his 4th wife in january. she's old too. my nephew graduated from college, and my niece is married. one of my half brother's on facebook too. hadn't seen him in over 25 years.

it's like bizarro world.

I might just leave it alone....although it does say my dad is president and ceo of an engineering firm. maybe he can afford to pay me the child support he skipped out on?

Well, I don't know if that's a good idea. But my dad did the same thing to me. Never paid for child support and loves to tell me he's making good money, but he can't buy me anything. So, don't go there, your heart will be broken.:(

[kaiser soze]

yup my dad owes back child support as well - all I want is a chance to punch him in the face.

I found my half-sister a few years ago, was sooo tempted to contact her but that would have been a huge can of worms.

still will consider when my dad is out of the picture...like really out of the picture

[RobMoney$]

I'm a member of the "father had nothing to do with me" club too.

Making contact with him?...Seriously?...Why?

[Fern]

request him for shock value, then block him once he accepts ... (y)

[venusvenus123]

:( to everyone here.

[Lex Diamonds]

Friend request him then send him a message saying you've written and recorded a video message to tell him how you feel and it's easier to get all your thoughts out that way. Then post this (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oHg5SJYRHA0).

[MC Moot]

Hey DW...it seems to me,like,from my perspective you kinda have this cyclical evaluation of relation with your father...every 6 months or so you seem to bring him up in one form or another...so it's pretty clear that this weighs on your mind quite a bit...maybe more to a subconscious degree...I don't know but it makes feel honest empathy for your situation...I'm not sure but maybe you need definitive resolution...be it in the form or closure or reconnection...25 years is such a long time and your emotions must be both deep and complex...way too much for someone so distant from the reality of your experience, to suggest anything...other than to just caution heed when preceding and to consider the personal repercussions you may feel if you were to make contact and be rebuffed...be well and be kind to yourself cause your father is missing out on a relation with one of the boards most creative,humorous,savy and sharp peeps...(y)

[ToucanSpam]

Whatever you do I hope you don't get hurt by it. Estranged families are a mixed bag and things can go bad very quickly. If it were me I would let it be...unless it's really important to you.

[Dorothy Wood]

Hey DW...it seems to me,like,from my perspective you kinda have this cyclical evaluation of relation with your father...every 6 months or so you seem to bring him up in one form or another...so it's pretty clear that this weighs on your mind quite a bit...maybe more to a subconscious degree...I don't know but it makes feel honest empathy for your situation...I'm not sure but maybe you need definitive resolution...be it in the form or closure or reconnection...25 years is such a long time and your emotions must be both deep and complex...way too much for someone so distant from the reality of your experience, to suggest anything...other than to just caution heed when preceding and to consider the personal repercussions you may feel if you were to make contact and be rebuffed...be well and be kind to yourself cause your father is missing out on a relation with one of the boards most creative,humorous,savy and sharp peeps...(y)

well thank you for that end part there, aw shucks!

as for the dad thing, I guess father's day just got me thinking...and I also don't want to completely forget about my past, and I think it's interesting to think about his genetic influence in my life. also, now that I'm getting older, and in a committed relationship (we live together, and are starting to build a new life as partners, etc.), I think about how my dad would probably want to know.

that side also represents an alternate universe for me...my father does want me to be in his life. in the past, he has offered to provide a home for me, and avenues to employment that would be much more lucrative. so I guess when I am stressed about money and my city, perhaps I subconsciously yearn for a more simple life in the desert and the mountains where I spent my youth.

[kaiser soze]

Hey at least you were given a chance at some kind of closure/opportunity

my dad is still out there doing whatever - never looked back since my brother died....and for that I will never forgive him.

I think the hardest part is reestablishing trust and keeping it. If they abandoned ya once, they can do it again.

[MC Moot]

sidenote: reconnecting or communicating even if a very brief or direct method in order to obtain family health history is very valuable...forewarned/forearmed kinda thing...