some random guy proposes a dinner date with your wife

[ericlee]

on facebook. For one, I see my wife's profile, all is good and I see some guy that I don't know asking her for dinner.

I have no idea who he is. I just see, "hey Echo, when can we have dinner, I'm available at blahh and blaahhh such hours."

I post this, "cool, some random guy is asking my wife out for dinner, you know I'm coming too and I hope you have the bill, I love seafood."

My wife goes to work, reads what I said and she texts me that I have ruined a friendship. That this guy was a reporter for a different news company and they shared stories to make the paper and what not.

I don't know this guy. I know many other people she may have dinner with but I just don't know him. If I did, it would be cool, perhaps I can trust him.

After a few more augmentative texts between me and her, I find out that he has a fiancée.

I tell her cool, if he has a fiancée, why doesn't he ask us both out for a date? Or does he know my wife is married?

I don't know if I should get my panties in a bunch over this.

[hardnox71]

I'm cut of the same cloth you are, eric. Shit wouldn't look right to me either.

Got a couple of questions:

If this guy is someone she works closely with then why haven't you heard of him before?

Why does it have to be dinner? What's the matter with this guy finding time in his schedule for lunch so they can discuss work?

What's wrong with email or the phone to share what they need to share?

I'm not trying to play devil's advocate, believe me, but I just put myself in your shoes and these are the things I would want to know.

[ToucanSpam]

All due respect Eric, but I think you kind of pooped the bed here. I think you should just admit you were wrong to act this way, say your sorry and move on from it.

[Guy Incognito]

i think you were right to suspect something just not sure you should have jumped in there with the comments.

if it was me i would have asked who he was and what the score was before doing anything on fb. I still would probably ask her not to go or to come along.

just cos he has got a fiancee doesnt mean he might not have a hidden agenda but the work thing seems plausible.

i cant work out if its some sort of double bluff by being relatively open about it. he might be completely honest but could also be doubly devious.

none of this is helping is it?

sorry man.

[Helvete]

It's not something I'd do, asking someone's wife out I mean and I would feel pretty uncomfortable if a guy was going out 1 on 1 with my girlfriend for dinner. Doesn't seem the 'done' thing, and I'm a guy, I know what guys are like and how we think.

[abbott]

fuck this guy...

If he is all good, he should be happy you are concerned and it should be a good thing you invited yourself... it should be aparty for all.

I get my work done at the office.

[hardnox71]

I get my work done at the office.

Exactly! (y)

[Adam]

Take what you want from this; I think I've had a larger amount than most of gf's cheating on me but...

...I wouldn't have a problem with my gf having dinner with a guy I don't know. But then I've rarely managed to get into long distance relationship stage never mind fiancée or a wife. Even if he had an agenda it won't go away forbidding a certain act or trying be a part of what you've not been formally invited I'd probably trust her not to be stupid and make mistakes.

[checkyourprez]

ask yourself what you you wife say to you if it was the other way around...



i know in my case, she would in all probability flip the shit. im more rational than her (and apparently you as well :p) and would go to her first and say what is this about.


but i dont necessarily think would you did is wrong.

[Helvete]

Take what you want from this; I think I've had a larger amount than most of gf's cheating on me but...

...I wouldn't have a problem with my gf having dinner with a guy I don't know. But then I've rarely managed to get into long distance relationship stage never mind fiancée or a wife. Even if he had an agenda it won't go away forbidding a certain act or trying be a part of what you've not been formally invited I'd probably trust her not to be stupid and make mistakes.

You basically said, if this guy is trying to bone his wife, there's nothing he can do about it. WTF

[Guy Incognito]

You basically said, if this guy is trying to bone his wife, there's nothing he can do about it. WTF

well not really, but i am surprised that adam wouldnt have a problem. I mean it depends on all the circumstances but i would have expected most blokes to at least ask some serious questions about the situation.

[Kid Presentable]

on facebook. For one, I see my wife's profile, all is good and I see some guy that I don't know asking her for dinner.

I have no idea who he is. I just see, "hey Echo, when can we have dinner, I'm available at blahh and blaahhh such hours."

I post this, "cool, some random guy is asking my wife out for dinner, you know I'm coming too and I hope you have the bill, I love seafood."

My wife goes to work, reads what I said and she texts me that I have ruined a friendship. That this guy was a reporter for a different news company and they shared stories to make the paper and what not.

I don't know this guy. I know many other people she may have dinner with but I just don't know him. If I did, it would be cool, perhaps I can trust him.

After a few more augmentative texts between me and her, I find out that he has a fiancée.

I tell her cool, if he has a fiancée, why doesn't he ask us both out for a date? Or does he know my wife is married?

I don't know if I should get my panties in a bunch over this.

Bad reaction, but understandable.

[Bob]

Bad reaction, but understandable.

yeah...i don't know if i have grounds to give relationship advice to a married guy, but i'm the jealous type too and i'd react the same way, initially...but probably the smarter move is to take a breath and if you're still worried about it, just ask your wife who the dude is before confronting him directly

well of course before that you gather as much info on him as you can by looking at his facebook profile, but then after that you talk it out with your wife

if i were an adulterer, and i was trying to steal some guy's wife, i'd be sneakier about it than asking her out openly on facebook, it probably wasn't the greatest move in the universe to do that

having said that, how touchy is this guy that this "ruined his friendship" with your wife? he got yelled at by a husband, bfd, it was a misunderstanding, he should move on

[Kid Presentable]

yeah...i don't know if i have grounds to give relationship advice to a married guy, but i'm the jealous type too and i'd react the same way, initially...but probably the smarter move is to take a breath and if you're still worried about it, just ask your wife who the dude is before confronting him directly

well of course before that you gather as much info on him as you can by looking at his facebook profile, but then after that you talk it out with your wife

if i were an adulterer, and i was trying to steal some guy's wife, i'd be sneakier about it than asking her out openly on facebook, it probably wasn't the greatest move in the universe to do that

having said that, how touchy is this guy that this "ruined his friendship" with your wife? he got yelled at by a husband, bfd, it was a misunderstanding, he should move on

Worst part is that thanks to openly reacting, eric will just have to take her word for it now or risk it blowing up further in his face. You kinda have to play the long game if you're suspicious.

[kaiser soze]

If another person gives your gf/bf/wife/husband some attention that you might not be giving there's potential for something messy.

He should've asked both of you out for dinner. None of these shennanigans

[ms.peachy]

I think you overreacted in a big way and disrespected your wife. I know you didn't mean to, but you did. You embarrassed her publicly on a personal and professional level. I would be livid if mr.p did lashed out publicly this way, in an environment where he knew his conduct would be observed by our friends, family and colleagues.

Stand up straight, look her in the eye and tell her that you're sorry, that you were wrong to act so impulsively and that you realise you absolutely should have come to her first with your concerns.

Only if you actually feel that way, of course.

[KingPsyz]

I think you overreacted in a big way and disrespected your wife. I know you didn't mean to, but you did. You embarrassed her publicly on a personal and professional level. I would be livid if mr.p did lashed out publicly this way, in an environment where he knew his conduct would be observed by our friends, family and colleagues.

Stand up straight, look her in the eye and tell her that you're sorry, that you were wrong to act so impulsively and that you realise you absolutely should have come to her first with your concerns.

Only if you actually feel that way, of course.

LOL... you crazy

Why would someone be conducting business (with no ellusion to such) on faceybook, and how stable was this friendship if he went bonkers just because eric made a fairly lighthearted joke?

Sounds like the dude maybe isn't 100% on the up and up, fiance or no, that sounds more like a cop-out or excuse. In fact if he really is engaged, dollars to donuts, dude would likely have an issue with randoms asking his wife out regardless of mitigating circumstances as well.

My girlfriend has some dudes that like to try and white knight her when she's having a bad day or vents on the faceybook, I didn't say anything direct, just posted in a thread to let them know I am there and can see this shit... Suddenly they don't seem to post as much if at all to her... Hmmmm

His wife should take a step back and think about how she'd react, and maybe look at how outrageous the other guy's response was. It's not like Eric posted "I'LL KILL YOU MOTHER FUCKER! YOUR WHOLE FAMILY IS DEAD, STAY AWAY FROM MY WIFE!"

Now THAT would have been disrespectful, lashing out, and embarassing.

[Lyman Zerga]

LOL... you crazy

Why would someone be conducting business (with no ellusion to such) on faceybook, and how stable was this friendship if he went bonkers just because eric made a fairly lighthearted joke?

Sounds like the dude maybe isn't 100% on the up and up, fiance or no, that sounds more like a cop-out or excuse. In fact if he really is engaged, dollars to donuts, dude would likely have an issue with randoms asking his wife out regardless of mitigating circumstances as well.

My girlfriend has some dudes that like to try and white knight her when she's having a bad day or vents on the faceybook, I didn't say anything direct, just posted in a thread to let them know I am there and can see this shit... Suddenly they don't seem to post as much if at all to her... Hmmmm

His wife should take a step back and think about how she'd react, and maybe look at how outrageous the other guy's response was. It's not like Eric posted "I'LL KILL YOU MOTHER FUCKER! YOUR WHOLE FAMILY IS DEAD, STAY AWAY FROM MY WIFE!"

Now THAT would have been disrespectful, lashing out, and embarassing.

agreed, agreed and agreed

[ms.peachy]

My opinion stands. I would be furious, in his wife's shoes. He did not treat her with respect, as though she is, in fact, a mature adult person who was capable of handling the situation appropriately herself. Instead he acted like she was a possession. It's insulting.

[Helvete]

I'm going to start asking married women out for dinner and when I get angry husbands after me, I will refer them to this thread and be like 'problem?'

[venusvenus123]

LOL... you crazy

Why would someone be conducting business (with no ellusion to such) on faceybook, and how stable was this friendship if he went bonkers just because eric made a fairly lighthearted joke?

Sounds like the dude maybe isn't 100% on the up and up, fiance or no, that sounds more like a cop-out or excuse. In fact if he really is engaged, dollars to donuts, dude would likely have an issue with randoms asking his wife out regardless of mitigating circumstances as well.

My girlfriend has some dudes that like to try and white knight her when she's having a bad day or vents on the faceybook, I didn't say anything direct, just posted in a thread to let them know I am there and can see this shit... Suddenly they don't seem to post as much if at all to her... Hmmmm

His wife should take a step back and think about how she'd react, and maybe look at how outrageous the other guy's response was. It's not like Eric posted "I'LL KILL YOU MOTHER FUCKER! YOUR WHOLE FAMILY IS DEAD, STAY AWAY FROM MY WIFE!"

Now THAT would have been disrespectful, lashing out, and embarassing.
Jesus, I can't imagine having my husband making such comments on my facebook page and nor would I on his! I agree with Peachy; treat your wife/girlfriend a little less like something you own.

I'm also confused by a lot of what you're saying: where does it say that the guy overreacts towards Ericlee?

if he went bonkers just because eric made a fairly lighthearted joke?
where does it say he went bonkers?

Anyway, my thoughts are that I can see why Eric might want to question his wife about this guy but I feel that posting stuff on her page is not very helpful, to put it politely!

[mikizee]

I agree with KidP and bob and to some extent peachy.

If I saw this on my fiance's profile I'd just ask her 'whos this guy?' and she'd tell me, and I'd say 'cool' and that would be that.

[sjp]

you sir are good to go. i would do the same thing who else says they wouldn't get pissed or jump to conclusions is lying to themselves. Most people on social sites try breaking up relationships anyway. wish i lived in a time before fb and all these other social media sites

[b-grrrlie]

I agree with peachy. If Eric's wife has her releationship status known for everyone then the guy who asked her for dinner would know that she's married. I think Eric over-reacted, business dinners are quite usual within journalism.

[KingPsyz]

Jesus, I can't imagine having my husband making such comments on my facebook page and nor would I on his! I agree with Peachy; treat your wife/girlfriend a little less like something you own.

I'm also confused by a lot of what you're saying: where does it say that the guy overreacts towards Ericlee?


where does it say he went bonkers?

Anyway, my thoughts are that I can see why Eric might want to question his wife about this guy but I feel that posting stuff on her page is not very helpful, to put it politely!

I'd say the part where the guy wanted to end a friendship and business relationship because her husband made a joke on facebook... That's kind of bonkers.

Again, from what eric posted it wasn't treating his wife as property. I don't even see where that is coming from. "cool, some random guy is asking my wife out for dinner, you know I'm coming too and I hope you have the bill, I love seafood." doesn't seem posessive, it seems more like a joke but also asking who are you.

Asking why someone you've never heard of wants to ask your wife or girlfriend out to dinner in a joking, non-confrontational way isn't being posessive, it's being human.

Anyone who thinks he over-reacted, put yourself in his shoes. If someone you've never heard of asked your husband out to dinner without any mention of business or work on their facebook would you be okay with it? Would you not post any comment at all? Or would it be more passive aggressive and just take it out on hubby privately?

Just asking, again had he gotten all ape shit on her page he'd be completely out of line. But I don't see how he was so out of line. If she feels he's being posessive, it might be somewhere else in their relationship and she's projecting it on this situation. But my name's Lem, and that's between them.

[ericlee]

My wife would totally flip out if some random girl would ask me for dinner on Facebook. I was once in a Gap store talking to a lady who works there about cologne and my wife took me by the arm and told me I don't need to talk to her.

That's possessive. I didn't act it in any way by doing what I did.

[kaiser soze]

yeah, haven't you shared with us that your wife has been a bit snarky in the past?

I don't think what you posted was bad, fuck it - it's a public forum, why are you exempt from it?

[Adam]

You basically said, if this guy is trying to bone his wife, there's nothing he can do about it. WTF

I didn't mean to say that. I meant to say that even if some guy is trying to bone his wife then at what stage was the wife all of sudden not in control of her actions? Surely there is a very small chance of them boning because she knows she is married and wouldn't want to ruin that? If she isn't in control or does want out of the marriage then there is deeper problems that this.

If my gf went out with some male friend I've never heard of then I wouldn't mind, it's up to her what she does. I would trust her not to sleep with them even if they both had a mutual attraction. Surely we all have opposite sex friends where there could be an attraction but you're just friends and sensible enough not to fuck?

My main BFFs are female, they are currently single and fairly unknown to my gf. They've met once. On facebook etc we use the word date for when we meet up as it's just a jokey thing that stuck out silliness one time. I assume, my gf has male friends who flirt with and she does but not in any sexual sense, just you're comfortable around each other. I know I wouldn't fuck a friend, I trust my gf not to either and the thing that is stopping us all is self control.

[Kid Presentable]

I didn't act it in any way by doing what I did.

Nah truthfully you didn't. It was just not the ideal way to react. I dunno, I never really thought you were treating her like a possession. :confused:

I'm not in a position to give advice at the minute though

[Kid Presentable]

and the thing that is stopping us all is self control.


This is really the answer.

[venusvenus123]

I'd say the part where the guy wanted to end a friendship and business relationship because her husband made a joke on facebook... That's kind of bonkers.

Again, from what eric posted it wasn't treating his wife as property. I don't even see where that is coming from. "cool, some random guy is asking my wife out for dinner, you know I'm coming too and I hope you have the bill, I love seafood." doesn't seem posessive, it seems more like a joke but also asking who are you.

Asking why someone you've never heard of wants to ask your wife or girlfriend out to dinner in a joking, non-confrontational way isn't being posessive, it's being human.

Anyone who thinks he over-reacted, put yourself in his shoes. If someone you've never heard of asked your husband out to dinner without any mention of business or work on their facebook would you be okay with it? Would you not post any comment at all? Or would it be more passive aggressive and just take it out on hubby privately?

Just asking, again had he gotten all ape shit on her page he'd be completely out of line. But I don't see how he was so out of line. If she feels he's being posessive, it might be somewhere else in their relationship and she's projecting it on this situation. But my name's Lem, and that's between them.
No I wouldn't post any comment at all! I'd just ask him what it was about--that's hardly being passive aggressive.

[cosmo105]

I think you overreacted in a big way and disrespected your wife. I know you didn't mean to, but you did. You embarrassed her publicly on a personal and professional level. I would be livid if mr.p did lashed out publicly this way, in an environment where he knew his conduct would be observed by our friends, family and colleagues.

Stand up straight, look her in the eye and tell her that you're sorry, that you were wrong to act so impulsively and that you realise you absolutely should have come to her first with your concerns.

Only if you actually feel that way, of course.
Agreed. eric, you were way out of line. If someone were "asking her out to dinner" like a DATE then it would probably be done in a private message, no? Saying "when can we get dinner, I'm available at these times" doesn't exactly sound romantic to me. I go to lunch or dinner with people all the time, and go on business trips and hang out with lots of men (and women) in my field many miles away from home and my fiance never bats an eye. And I wouldn't invite him to come along if we were talking about boring work stuff. He goes out to drinks and events all the time and I don't even bother to ask if I can come because I know I'll be bored out of my skull. You went batshit crazy jealous and embarrassed her big time. If my fiance did this same thing to me I would be livid too. And I would never dream of doing it to him! If I didn't know the person, I'd ASK HIM FIRST if I was curious like a mature adult that trusted her partner and gave him the benefit of the doubt and not lash out like an insane boyfriend. You are completely in the wrong here. Treat your wife like an adult.

[cosmo105]

It does NOT sound like a joke - it sounds like a jealous, possessive husband that, if I were the guy, would scare me off from even trying to be friends with this person. You people.

[ericlee]

Think what you will. I just posted something on the Facebook and it wasn't even out of line.

As said, my wife would freak out beyond belief if some girl she didn't know asked me for dinner. She would probably freak out if she knew the person too. She would do more than post something on Facebook for sure.

Anyway, even after I posted it, I deleted it a few hours later. Maybe this guy didn't read it. She got home from work and acted if nothing happened so it's not that big of a deal.

[checkyourprez]

ask yourself what you you wife say to you if it was the other way around...



i know in my case, she would in all probability flip the shit. im more rational than her (and apparently you as well :p) and would go to her first and say what is this about.


but i dont necessarily think would you did is wrong.

Think what you will. I just posted something on the Facebook and it wasn't even out of line.

As said, my wife would freak out beyond belief if some girl she didn't know asked me for dinner. She would probably freak out if she knew the person too. She would do more than post something on Facebook for sure.

Anyway, even after I posted it, I deleted it a few hours later. Maybe this guy didn't read it. She got home from work and acted if nothing happened so it's not that big of a deal.



eggsactly.


woman are irrational illogical human beings.

[russhie]

If my boyfriend posted anything like that on my wall, I'd be super pissed. As it is, he asks me who such and such is if he sees a guy he doesn't know on my facebook, or sees a text pop up on my phone. I find it irritating but at least he is sensible enough to come to me first and hopefully I'm able to allay whatever fears he has. I tolerate it (eveb though it sometimes feels like distrust) because I know his trust was shot after his ex wife did the dirty on him. Life experience gives people little quirks and tolerance (to point) is a good thing

I don't often ask questions about the ladies in his life because I feel happy & secure. He works in a macho industry where women are usually viewed as accessories/object so I get more worried that his friends are being respectful to their partners. If some girl asked him to dinner openly on fb I suppose I'd be curious, but I'd ask him any questions I had directly and be satisfied with his answer, because if I'm not - we must have deeper problems.

I work in media and it can be pretty incestuous at times - lots of acceptable drinking and drug taking so there is lots of scope to fuck up. If he is worried then it might be a good time to assess my conduct and see it through his eyes or perhaps assess the relationship as a whole, trust is really important. Especially with the industries we work in.

[Helvete]

All the women here acting like they wouldn't give a damn if it was the opposite situation. Bull. Shit.

[hardnox71]

All the women here acting like they wouldn't give a damn if it was the opposite situation. Bull. Shit.

Wonderfully stated. (y)

[KingPsyz]

No I wouldn't post any comment at all! I'd just ask him what it was about--that's hardly being passive aggressive.

I know, that's why I gave options...

[Dorothy Wood]

oh, so the guy didn't freak out then? your wife just freaked out?

hmm. I don't know, I think I'd be embarrassed if my dude commented on something another guy wrote. and I don't know if I'd comment on something publicly if a girl wrote something on his page. He'd sure as hell get questioned about it in person though.

I dunno, there's this weird chick that he's known since high school who writes shit on his page...and the other day he left his email open and I glanced and saw that she'd written him several emails. I didn't read any, just logged out. promise! I think she has a thing for him, but she doesn't live here. I'm not worried, but I also don't trust her. There are some other chicks I don't trust either, but me and dude are pretty solid.

Anyway, the guy who wrote your wife is weird too. I don't like it when people ask other people to hang out with them via wall post. My friends do it to me sometime and I'm always like, "yeah, I'll text you". because why the fuck does everyone on fb need to know where I'm gonna be?

But, maybe this guy just wanted the invite to be open so it was public and so people would know it wasn't a date?

[cosmo105]

A) it was very clearly not romantic

B) I would ask him. Not go public. Simple as that. I'm not saying I'm never jealous, but I give him and the people he associates with the benefit of the doubt.

[ms.peachy]

All the women here acting like they wouldn't give a damn if it was the opposite situation. Bull. Shit.

Not bullshit at all. You have no idea what it is like here, let me tell you. (Ironically, ericlee might.) There are women literally flinging themselves at my husband on the regular, and they do not give a shit if he is married or not, they are just looking for a 'rich' Western boyfriend who will take them shopping for designer clothes in exchange for blowjobs. This is everyday reality here. And you know what? I trust my man, I trust that he respects me and respects our family. If a woman wrote something about meeting up for dinner on my husbands Facebook page, I would be fine with it, because I know there isn't any way in hell she would even have access to his Facebook page to write it if she wasn't on the up and up, because he would not allow it.

[ericlee]

I keep seeing all of the ladies here saying they trust their man. I trust my wife. I do not however trust a guy I've never met before and I think it's a good idea to check them once in a while.

I'm not sure if you remember the thread about some cop texting my wife for dinner at 1 in the morning and I confronted him. Come to find out, that fucker was trying to sleep with my wife and she was glad I confronted him.

So this guy asking for dinner probably doesn't want to sleep with her, fine but I still don't feel guilty for what I did because I do have reason for it and my wife knows so, therefore, like I said, she came home that day and acted as if it didn't happen and not a word if it has been mentioned since.

[Lyman Zerga]

your girl/guy meeting secretly with another guy/girl outside of worktime comes close to cheating (to me)

but all good if he tells me about it before (unless they fuck)

[Baseline]

I would so go along with that dinner, secretly and in silence o/c, and then "accidentally" bumped in the middle it. I know I'm able to distinguish very well a romance/flirt from a business energy, so ... yea that would be it. After all, deeds speak louder than words, why would you burden yourself with 'is she/he telling the truth .." and similar cyclic thinking? I'm aware the trust is one of the most important things in the relationship but sometimes you just have to stop talking and jump into the game to find the veracity.
I hope you didn't blow that possibility up.

btw, the facebook .. seriously? So basically I can start a husbands-wives war with one of my scripts, hm

[cosmo105]

I would so go along with that dinner, secretly and in silence o/c, and then "accidentally" bumped in the middle it. I know I'm able to distinguish very well a romance/flirt from a business energy, so ... yea that would be it. After all, deeds speak louder than words, why would you burden yourself with 'is she/he telling the truth .." and similar cyclic thinking? I'm aware the trust is one of the most important things in the relationship but sometimes you just have to stop talking and jump into the game to find the veracity.
I hope you didn't blow that possibility up.


Seriously?

[Baseline]

oh I get it, you think I'm some crazy stalker type, right? No, not at all. I'm not even jealous type. I like sex games, like swing, I love to "host" some girl or a boy for threesome from time to time ... the point is I'm not possessive - aggressive bitch as you may assume from my post earlier, but I hate lies. Whatever me and my fiance do we do together, openly .. you know there's a purity, honesty in it, and from every experiment/game/test (call it as you wish) we came out even more stronger as a couple, and our love is still growing. But that's my story ..
I'll try my luck here and guess that the real question is: why did I give a man such a weird, stalker freaky advise?

Well it's simple. I don't know much about him or his wife but what is been said clearly points out that she's the one who would freak out if the roles are reversed, thus probably she could be possessive too. Therefore, what goes for her goes for him too. Ericlee has every right to explore this situation.
Do I think my proposition is healthy? No!
The healthiest way would be to talk about it o/c, yet he said he believes her but not that dude, which tells me he doubt her after all. It takes two to dance .. that's when I decided to write what I did. Why not cut to the chase, what's wrong w/t? What's bad in old fashion direct confrontation, right there, on the spot? I don't have in mind any heavy words, increased tones, physical fighting or any other stupidity, I just meant on an appearance, cos to be perfectly honest I'm tired of seeing so many couples who lie and trick each other for so long just to find themselves one day in the same position as the one I suggested, just lot more worse (you know, unprepared .. stumbled upon some awful view ..). That's why I believe the time matters. He doesn't have to rush either, but he also doesn't have to spend one more day with someone who doesn't deserve him or simply wants to be with someone else.

For what is worth I have a feeling it's nothing serious. Don't forget peeps Saturn is in Libra, means a schism all around, especially in love matters. You'll probably laugh at this one day ;)

p.s. sry for my English, it's my 3rd language, I hope I was understandable enough

[MCAadROCKMiKEd7]

I keep seeing all of the ladies here saying they trust their man. I trust my wife. I do not however trust a guy I've never met before and I think it's a good idea to check them once in a while.

Ericlee your reaction was checkin this guy, but in the long run it effected your wife more.
Although I think you jumped to the conclusion to fast and reacted very negatively (You should always think through what you're going to say because what you say effects you, you're attitude is 90%, and poor attitude only effects your mind and your mood so it's pointless to have she is your wife, you can trust her am I right?) If I was a man, and married, cause i'm only an 18 year old girl here lol, Id also be kind of offended that some guy is asking me wife out to dinner because one time I saw this episode of home improvement where Jill has a close guy friend from work and Tim insists that he is trying to get with Jill and shes all like nahhh Tim hes just my homie and then the guy ends up coming out to her thinking that they had something and Jill was all like nahhh bro get up outta my crib....
That shit actually happens w/ coworkers, but I think that if he is some dick trying to get on your wife, fuck 'em dont give him the satisfaction of reacting poorly. Being defensive of your marriage just shows you care, but you should've asked about it first, it looked wrong, and I would have gotten the wrong idea to, but if you trust your wife you dont gotta worry about some punk ass then.

Don't be paranoid about some jerk-off if your wife didnt even take it seriously.
Never resort to getting irritated first, youre coming off as overprotective, level-head is the best option.

THIS IS WHY FACEBOOK SUCKS.

[Baseline]

THIS IS WHY FACEBOOK SUCKS.

WORD!!! This and million other things as well, that's why mine is deleted for good.

[hardnox71]

I keep seeing all of the ladies here saying they trust their man. I trust my wife. I do not however trust a guy I've never met before and I think it's a good idea to check them once in a while.

I'm not sure if you remember the thread about some cop texting my wife for dinner at 1 in the morning and I confronted him. Come to find out, that fucker was trying to sleep with my wife and she was glad I confronted him.

Exactly.

Here's something the women know all to well but seem to be forgetting at the moment.....a lot of guys won't take no for an answer. You might tell a guy you're not interested but if he knows you're married and he hasn't heard anything from your husband then he's thinking to himself, "She must not have mentioned it for a reason. I will just keep wearing her down. Eventually she'll give in."

I know it sounds ridiculous but believe me, there are plenty of idiots out there who think just like this. And I believe what's bugging eric even more, if I may be so bold, is the fact that if this guy knows she's married and is still trying to pull some bullshit (if that is the case) then that's complete and utter disrespect in eric's face. It's like he's telling eric, "Dude, I know about you and I don't give a fuck. I'm gonna try it anyway."

Ladies, with us guys, that is a very, very big no no.

[ms.peachy]

The very fact that he came here and posted about it wondering if he'd handled it OK is really all I need to know to tell me that somewhere inside, he knew he'd overreacted. And I can see eric you've rationalized your way around it ultimately, and that's pretty much what people do - you've decided it has to be ok because of xy and z, so it's OK. Fair enough, that's what people do.

Look, I don't think what you did was horrible or anything. I don't think you're a "bad guy", in fact I think you're a really good guy and I know you have worked through (and, clearly, are still working through) some very tough issues with your wife and I'm sure that you are both doing the best you can day by day. So I'm not sitting here trying to make you out to be some odious POS who doesn't treat his wife well overall, because I don't think that is at all true. All I am saying is that in this specific instance, judging by your own words (which is all I have to go on), you went a bit OTT and I can totally understand why your wife was pissed. But it seems like now you have both had a chance to calm down and reflect on things, and have silently agreed to let it blow over, and that's a good thing. Hopefully the next time (if there is a next time) such a situation arises, you will both handle it a little differently.

[ericlee]

The very fact that he came here and posted about it wondering if he'd handled it OK is really all I need to know to tell me that somewhere inside, he knew he'd overreacted. And I can see eric you've rationalized your way around it ultimately, and that's pretty much what people do - you've decided it has to be ok because of xy and z, so it's OK. Fair enough, that's what people do.

Look, I don't think what you did was horrible or anything. I don't think you're a "bad guy", in fact I think you're a really good guy and I know you have worked through (and, clearly, are still working through) some very tough issues with your wife and I'm sure that you are both doing the best you can day by day. So I'm not sitting here trying to make you out to be some odious POS who doesn't treat his wife well overall, because I don't think that is at all true. All I am saying is that in this specific instance, judging by your own words (which is all I have to go on), you went a bit OTT and I can totally understand why your wife was pissed. But it seems like now you have both had a chance to calm down and reflect on things, and have silently agreed to let it blow over, and that's a good thing. Hopefully the next time (if there is a next time) such a situation arises, you will both handle it a little differently.

yet, you're still slipping away from the fact that my wife would take this in a completely different direction if it were some strange lady asking me for dinner.

I am not even bothering to read what you all have written, as well as the fact as you all haven't read what I have written about her.

Let me make this clear, I know many married women, single, what not, but I do not ask them for dinner dates on a public space, nor will I do it via pm's.

You women right now, defending this guy makes me feel as if you don't get enough play and that you want a knight in shining armor to send you dinner messages so that your husband will have questions too.

[ms.peachy]

Well Eric all I can say is it's a bit of a shame you didn't bother to read all that I had written then. I did in fact read what you wrote, and I don't discount it. I still however don't think "Well she would act this way, therefore it's OK for me to do it too" is a valid argument. It does not strike me as a very mature and effective way to handle conflict, ever, in any situation. I mean look how well that approach to things is working out in the Middle East.

As for your speculation that I am just waiting for some other guy to come along and make my husband jealous, or whatever... I don't know where you're going with that one, bro. That's just sooo not how I live my life. I have a good man, a good marriage and a good life, and I am not looking for anyone from the outside to shore it up or shake it down, that's for damn certain.

[russhie]

Why bother posting if you're not interested in the responses? Legit question.

You say that if the tables were turned, your wife would react poorly...it's not really a justification for your own behaviour. Not that you've done anything terrible - you seem to have sorted everything out, which is great. But you came here looking for opinions, and you've gotten them.

Generally, women who are spoken for find unwanted advances just as irritating as their partners do. The idea that a woman will always eventually cave in if a man is persistent enough is stupid. Which is why I thought a public statement of HEY THATS MY WIFE YOU'RE TALKIN TO is an embarrassing overreaction. It shows a level of insecurity - about your own relationship with your wife, or your wife's relationship with this other person, whatever.

You're correct in saying that some men (and women too) don't care about the marital status of the object of their affection, and some can be pretty persistent...but...


Who am I kidding, it's pointless even typing the rest of my response. We're all just a bunch of bullshitters anyway, ladies.

[Baseline]

"I am not even bothering to read what you all have written, as well as the fact as you all haven't read what I have written about her."

Okaaaay, now I feel really stupid, probably as the rest of us too : /
Well, good luck with your marriage. Over and out.



Lock?

[ericlee]

I didn't want to bother reading it at that moment. Now I will.

Maybe I won't. Still people are trying to make me feel guilty and I will not. All I did was post something on Facebook. Just like this guy did. Publicly asking my wife on a date and h knows damn well that my wife's friends as well as mine read her wall. He didn't take the time nor consideration about how I'd react and I didn't either.

End of story.

[kaiser soze]

*drop kick!*

[checkyourprez]

bottom line, it is inappropriate for another man to ask a married woman out to dinner in a non professional manor. doing it on facebook is not professional.


you woman are wrong.

[ms.peachy]

What exactly about it being on Facebook makes it 'not professional'? I know many people who conduct part of their business via social network, it's a way that people communicate and it is no more or less than what any one individual makes of it. If using Facebook for informal business related conversation is an 'unprofessional' thing to do, then why does every bloomin' business on the planet now have a Facebook page?

The fact is none of us know what precipitated the guy's comment, maybe the day before he'd had a working conversation with Eric's wife at some point where the possibility of meeting up for further discussion came up and she said "Yeah cool, get in touch." So the guy sends her a really pretty basic message and then suddenly there's her husband raring his head. If there was were another colleague outside the immediate situation who happened to read the kerfuffle, they might be like 'whhoooo, guess he likes to keep her on a short chain.' And ultimately, ths could affect her career wise, because if the rumour going around on the QT is "Don't think about trying to get some time to talk to this woman about anything because if her husband gets wind of it, boy is he gonna be all up in your face" then she may find herself being left off assignments, kept out of the loop, etc.

As I said - I get that Eric's not a monster, I just think he's been really short sighted in this instance; but they seem to be moving beyond as a couple, so, good luck to them both.

[Helvete]

Are women stupid or do you STILL not know what guys are like? Yes, that guy 'friend' of yours wants to FUCK you, married on either of your parts or not. It's in a guy's nature to want to fuck every decent female he meets, we don't all do this, but we can't all help wanting to either.

Yes, maybe eric should have asked his wife who this guy was first, but still doesn't stop the fact that random fella was still a bit inappropriate doing what he did.

If it was strictly business, then it would be arranged through the relevant channels and it would be the norm, guy posting on facebook is not the place for business.

Still, I'm wrong and all the blind females/effeminate men are right.

[ms.peachy]

Yes we know what men are like. No we are not impressed by them insanely puffing up their giant peacock tails the second another male glances in our direction.

[hardnox71]

Yes we know what men are like. No we are not impressed by them insanely puffing up their giant peacock tails the second another male glances in our direction.

If you think that us "puffing up our giant peacock tails the second another male glances in your direction" is more about impressing you than it is about letting another male know "Back the fuck up!", then you don't know as much about us as you think you do.

[TurdBerglar]

i don't understand why there's people here that don't understand how weird of a situation this is. a person already in a relationship is being asked out to dinner via the internet. that's fucking weird and a cause for concern regardless of sex.

all eric did was make a sly comment on FACEBOOK. it's not like he went up to this guy and punched him in the nose. it's only fucking FACEBOOK. sure he should have said something to his wife first. but what he did do should be a none issue. it's not that big of a deal.

maybe this guy will act more professional from now on as he should have in the first place.

business should not be conducted on facebook. it's fucking FACEBOOK. it's a toy! a form of entertainment!

[kaiser soze]

other than this public invite - we don't know what had been said in private

my recently created ex had been texting furiously for the past month and VERY protective of her phone. I knew something was awry but all I did was ask if she was seeing someone and she said yes.

Texting and Facebook are known tools that people use in fucking over their significant others.

yeah she sucks ass now

[ericlee]

Let me also add that this has nothing to do with business. My wife isn't even a reporter anymore so this guy is just flat out asking her on a date.

[Helvete]

Yeah, stick that in your pipe you bloody women!

[abbott]

I still say fuck this guy,

but maybe you should have talked to your wife first.

but you have a history where you confronted someone in the past ... the cop... and it was good, so maybe the president has been set with your wife already.

[ms.peachy]

Oh great, so now you're accusing her of stepping out with the President too!

[ms.peachy]

If you think that us "puffing up our giant peacock tails the second another male glances in your direction" is more about impressing you than it is about letting another male know "Back the fuck up!", then you don't know as much about us as you think you do.

No I get that, we're still just not impressed with the chest pounding, flinging shit from the monkey house, or whatever other jungle metaphor you'd care to employ. What is interesting to me is that you lads don't see that it's actually completely irrelevant what the guy's intentions were one way or the other, because the issue should have been handled between Eric and his wife at this point in time. His wife is an adult, let her handle it, and if she needs or wants his help dealing with the guy I am sure she is more than capable of asking for it.

[Kid Presentable]

There probably is something suss going on.

[Planetary]

His wife is an adult, let her handle it, and if she needs or wants his help dealing with the guy I am sure she is more than capable of asking for it.

but what if you leave her to it thinking she can handle it, then she gets swept away in an irresistably spontaneous love-whirlwind of tapas and fine wines. too risky.

[hardnox71]

but what if you leave her to it thinking she can handle it, then she gets swept away in an irresistably spontaneous love-whirlwind of tapas and fine wines. too risky.

What book are you reading? :p

[RobMoney$]

oh I get it, you think I'm some crazy stalker type, right? No, not at all. I'm not even jealous type. I like sex games, like swing, I love to "host" some girl or a boy for threesome from time to time ... the point is I'm not possessive - aggressive bitch as you may assume from my post earlier, but I hate lies. Whatever me and my fiance do we do together, openly .. you know there's a purity, honesty in it, and from every experiment/game/test (call it as you wish) we came out even more stronger as a couple, and our love is still growing. But that's my story ..
I'll try my luck here and guess that the real question is: why did I give a man such a weird, stalker freaky advise?

Well it's simple. I don't know much about him or his wife but what is been said clearly points out that she's the one who would freak out if the roles are reversed, thus probably she could be possessive too. Therefore, what goes for her goes for him too. Ericlee has every right to explore this situation.
Do I think my proposition is healthy? No!
The healthiest way would be to talk about it o/c, yet he said he believes her but not that dude, which tells me he doubt her after all. It takes two to dance .. that's when I decided to write what I did. Why not cut to the chase, what's wrong w/t? What's bad in old fashion direct confrontation, right there, on the spot? I don't have in mind any heavy words, increased tones, physical fighting or any other stupidity, I just meant on an appearance, cos to be perfectly honest I'm tired of seeing so many couples who lie and trick each other for so long just to find themselves one day in the same position as the one I suggested, just lot more worse (you know, unprepared .. stumbled upon some awful view ..). That's why I believe the time matters. He doesn't have to rush either, but he also doesn't have to spend one more day with someone who doesn't deserve him or simply wants to be with someone else.

For what is worth I have a feeling it's nothing serious. Don't forget peeps Saturn is in Libra, means a schism all around, especially in love matters. You'll probably laugh at this one day ;)

p.s. sry for my English, it's my 3rd language, I hope I was understandable enough



I am an absolute sucker for crazy bitches.

PM me. You sound like a great fuck.
My wife and I are into threesomes with a girl.

[ToucanSpam]

The women of this message board are remarkably insightful and I just want it to be known that it is appreciated. Specifically ms. peachy and cosmo. Kudos.(y)

[Dorothy Wood]

I am an absolute sucker for crazy bitches.

PM me. You sound like a great fuck.
My wife and I are into threesomes with a girl.


Yuck




Anyway, Eric, maybe he wanted a double date?

It's a weird thing that happened guys, I dont know why it has to be all women vs men up in here. The wife was embarrassed, it was kind of embarrassing...but not bad enough to ruin a friendship. And if the dude was trying to sneak in, now he knows there's someone watching out for it.

[Baseline]

PM me. You sound like a great fuck.

jpg. or stfu

[Adam]

Aww, board threesomes.

Catching up with this thread has put me off my lunch (n)

[abbott]

this lady asked me to go to her house once and pick up a contract... I told my wife what I was doing and she said ... fuck you tell her to come to the office ...

Me .. but baby, she has kids and a husband and I need this because its money ..

wife ... great ... get it done at the office or public place at a minimum ..

so I did what she said ...

Today, this same lady has sued two different guys for sexual harassment, I know 4 different guys who have fucked her and her husband is in jail for dealing coke and prostitution... he was running a ring out of some apartments he owned..

I often think what would have happened had I gone to her house... at the time she was an independent contractor working for me..

shortly after I would not go to her home she canceled our agreement...


not sure what this has to do with anything but that's what Im thinking about


also i meant precedent not president ...

[hardnox71]

this lady asked me to go to her house once and pick up a contract... I told my wife what I was doing and she said ... fuck you tell her to come to the office ...

Me .. but baby, she has kids and a husband and I need this because its money ..

wife ... great ... get it done at the office or public place at a minimum ..

so I did what she said ...

Today, this same lady has sued two different guys for sexual harassment, I know 4 different guys who have fucked her and her husband is in jail for dealing coke and prostitution... he was running a ring out of some apartments he owned..

I often think what would have happened had I gone to her house... at the time she was an independent contractor working for me..

shortly after I would not go to her home she canceled our agreement....

Dodged. A. Bullet.

[RobMoney$]

Aww, board threesomes

It would be an awesome thread, wouldn't it?

Too bad this site can't host video is all I'm sayin.

[RobMoney$]

jpg. or stfu

I've got pics of us. Videos too.
What city are you in. Were looking for a party the last weekend of this month if you're interested.

[Baseline]

A city? Heh .. better try with a continent ;)
Joke or not it doesn't matter, you made me laugh and I'm thankful for that.

Greetings from Belgrade,
A*

[Echewta]

My feathers are pretty awesome and glorious. When I whip them out, people usually know to step back.

[KingPsyz]

My feathers are pretty awesome and glorious. When I whip them out, people usually know to step back.

Do you whip yur plume back an forth?

[Echewta]

Of course not, what do you think i am? A farmer?

[venusvenus123]

Echewta has vastly improved the flavour of this thread.

Now we just need more songs by Sting.

[MCAadROCKMiKEd7]

WORD!!! This and million other things as well, that's why mine is deleted for good.

Whats lame about FB is that you can never permanently delete your page you can only deactivate it because once you make an account it's FB property.

Dodged. A. Bullet.

Hahahaha fuck yes.

The women of this message board are remarkably insightful and I just want it to be known that it is appreciated. Specifically ms. peachy and cosmo. Kudos.(y)

Am I the only one who noticed this post? I thought it was extremely kind to say. :D

[Helvete]

Yeah, but ToucanSpam is such a homo.

[Echewta]

Sting. Now that bloke has some feathers.

[cosmo105]

The lesson here is that if Echewta proposes a dinner date with your wife, it's already too late. She's gone, man.

[venusvenus123]

The lesson here is that if Echewta proposes a dinner date with your wife, it's already too late. She's gone, man.

That's why I took my husband with me when I met him. I mean, I couldn't be trusted to keep my hands off his feathers!

[Echewta]

The first thing that came to mind from the past two posts is that I'd pay the devil to replace her.

[hardnox71]

Dammit, Chewie! Let's review....

Your feathers are supposed to say "Back the fuck up!" not "How you doin'?"

Jesus!! :rolleyes:

[Baseline]

Whats lame about FB is that you can never permanently delete your page you can only deactivate it because once you make an account it's FB property.

True. It stays in its archive for sure, that's why I've never given my real name, pics, numbers, etc ... and for all important matters I'm using my other computer with different provider/server ... you know. Although you can "delete" it for the outside world (outside of fb universe) by this link. (https://www.facebook.com/help/contact.php?show_form=delete_account)

Am I the only one who noticed this post? I thought it was extremely kind to say. :D

Nope, I did ;) Sweet and honest, kudos for ToucanSpam (y)

[Echewta]

Dammit, Chewie! Let's review....

Your feathers are supposed to say "Back the fuck up!" not "How you doin'?"

Jesus!! :rolleyes:

Thats the power of my feathers brother. Back up fella's...zup girls?

[ms.peachy]

The women of this message board are remarkably insightful and I just want it to be known that it is appreciated. Specifically ms. peachy and cosmo. Kudos.(y)

Thanks Toucan, muchas gracias.