Those 1970s bloated-n-chunky American cars - gone but not forgotten

[FunkyHiFi]

Stumbled onto this article while looking for something else in my city's "liberal" newpaper:

"The Noble Land Yacht: 6 Classic TV Ads For Impossibly Huge Cars" (http://blogs.houstonpress.com/hairballs/2011/10/land_yachts_car_ads.php)

Back in the day, cars were cars. Huge, hilariously oversized, impractically massive, cars.

The land yachts of yore -- the Caddys, the Mercurys, etc. -- made no bones about "fuel efficiency" or "miles per gallon" or "ability to park." They were giant movable land masses, and you were a god just by being behind the wheel.

And, of course, those car makers advertised their goods to get you to buy. Here are six classic TV ads foisting incredibly wasteful gas-guzzlers on the public:Each video includes commentary from the article's author.

I'm old enough to have actually ridden in a couple of those cars as a kid - not THOSE cars, just that model ;) - and clearly remember that:

1) unless the bump or pothole was really large, you didn't feel any feedback from the road......or road noise for that matter. The ride was solid as a rock & it almost felt as if you were gliding in an airplane and...

2) "handling" was not in these cars' vocabulary, so the phrase "ship at sea" fit pretty well with these land yachts especially the Mercurys and Lincolns. But!!.....to give their engineers credit for some common sense, many highways and freeways in this country extend for looooooong distances but especially, they were designed to be very smooth and any curves that are present are almost always very shallow & gradual. So thick anti-rollbars, stiff springs, sticky tires etc just weren't needed for many of their drivers. The result was that 400 mile trips in these types of cars were more comfortable compared to using for example a Datsun 610.

But I *will* admit they were just too damn large on the outside, not to mention hideously heavy, the result of plain ol' sloppy design (partly the result of super-cheap gas): need more footroom? Forget clever packaging or thoughtful engineering - let's just make the entire car longer! :(

FYI: for the 1977 model year, a new generation of large cars (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cadillac_Coupe_de_Ville#1977.E2.80.931984) with (relatively) efficient packaging was finally introduced by General Motors, which were much smaller on the outside and much lighter, but IIRC were the same or larger on the INside. The other companies soon followed.

[FunkyHiFi]

Forgot to add this: that pic of the yellow Cadillac in the corner of the page? That's an Eldorado (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cadillac_Eldorado), which was a front-wheel drive model. The smallest engine choice was a 425 cubic inch pushrod V-8. Engine was mounted longitudinally - who needed transverse mounting when you had a hood the size of your average house's front yard? :D

Btw the '66 Oldsmobile Toronado (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Oldsmobile_Toronado) was the first mass-produced American FWD car - yep it was huge too - but priced so that many "Regular Joe" citizens could afford it.

[hardnox71]

When I was in high school my grandmother taught me how to drive in a 1977 Mercury Marquis. (http://www.thefreewheelers.net/MOM/e1977_Mercury_Grand_Marquis.jpg)

Land yacht is right. I hated driving that thing. There is simply no reason on the planet for a car to be that fucking big.

[FunkyHiFi]

When I was in high school my grandmother taught me how to drive in a 1977 Mercury Marquis. (http://www.thefreewheelers.net/MOM/e1977_Mercury_Grand_Marquis.jpg)

Land yacht is right. I hated driving that thing. There is simply no reason on the planet for a car to be that fucking big.Holy crap that was one of the cars I was talking about that *I* got to ride in! It was a four-door and it seemed like the hood stretched on forever, like looking down a set of railroad tracks. I also remember turning the steering wheel while the engine was running and noticing how it took practically no effort to do that.

Then in the late 80s I got to drive a 1983 Oldsmobile Delta 88 and while it was still large, the ride wasn't "pillowy", you could see out fairly well, and the steering wheel needed two hands to comfortably turn it while driving & you could actually feel what the front wheels were doing while cornering. Still no Audi 5000 but an improvement anyway!

[silence7]

About 18 years ago, part of my job was to drive the Boss's wife to the Price Club (Old school Costco) about once a month to pick up office supplies and coffee. I got to drive!! I loved it. She would show up in this early 80's Cadillac that was about 30' long, White, with maroon interior, and chrome everywhere!!! Everything inside was either maroon velvet, and brushed or polished chrome. Knobs and sliders for everything. CLIMATE CONTROL!! WTF is this wizardry!?

What the hell did I know, I was driving a 1980 Toyota 4x4 at the time nothing was electric, manual tranny, power NOTHING.. (I miss my truck)

The seats were like sitting on a very fluffy couch, and it drove like you were on a cloud. GIANT V8.. I loved that car. I was sad when she showed up in a Lexus. Caddy had class.

This is the 70's car (http://www.sunsetclassics.com/1970-karmann-ghia-yellow/) that's sitting in my garage now awaiting some love.... (Not my actual car, but same year, and color)

[ms.peachy]

Crazy shit.

[FunkyHiFi]

About 18 years ago, part of my job was to drive the Boss's wife to the Price Club (Old school Costco) about once a month to pick up office supplies and coffee. I got to drive!! I loved it. She would show up in this early 80's Cadillac that was about 30' long, White, with maroon interior, and chrome everywhere!!! Everything inside was either maroon velvet, and brushed or polished chrome. Knobs and sliders for everything. CLIMATE CONTROL!! WTF is this wizardry!?

What the hell did I know, I was driving a 1980 Toyota 4x4 at the time nothing was electric, manual tranny, power NOTHING.. (I miss my truck)

The seats were like sitting on a very fluffy couch, and it drove like you were on a cloud. GIANT V8.. I loved that car. I was sad when she showed up in a Lexus. Caddy had class.
Good story! You can amaze your grandkids with it, though they probably won't believe such ginormous machines existed.
This is the 70's car (http://www.sunsetclassics.com/1970-karmann-ghia-yellow/) that's sitting in my garage now awaiting some love.... (Not my actual car, but same year, and color)Nice. I miss cars like this: no power windows or other similar stuff; manual steering which is really easy to deal with on a rear-engine car; and no computers.. Just a car, something you can understand by just looking at it (but it still needs a good sound system ;)). And you can fix many things yourself with just common sense and some basic tools.

[FunkyHiFi]

Crazy shit.FUN crazy sh*t though. :cool:

[abbott]

I want an old 70s late 80s car for myself. I think this falls under the reuse thought and considering it already exist and works it is just as green as anything new.

[Helvete]

Being British, we were used to piddly little shit bucket cars that fell apart and leaked when it rained, or piddly little shit bucket cars! British cars of the 70s were awful, truly awful and today they're still shit.

German, without fail, all the time.

[abbott]

Being British, we were used to piddly little shit bucket cars that fell apart and leaked when it rained, or piddly little shit bucket cars! British cars of the 70s were awful, truly awful and today they're still shit.

German, without fail, all the time.

i did sale new BMW's in my old days... I had them all home for the weekend and I loved them always.

[FunkyHiFi]

What Cadillac at least did to try to modernise itself:

* the 1976 Seville (http://ateupwithmotor.com/luxury-and-personal-luxury-cars/210-cadillac-seville.html) - a smaller Cadillac & one based on a Chevy Nova but heavily modified, so much so most people had no idea of its origins. This very successful model also began the upright rear window design popular at GM for years afterwards.

* 1982 Cimarron (http://www.popularmechanics.com/cars/news/vintage-speed/4293188) - well, at least they were trying I guess. :( Another Cadillac, this time a truly small car (by American standards), that was again based on a low-budget platform......but this time it really looked it.

* the CTS (http://www.edmunds.com/cadillac/cts/2011/), Cadillac's latest small car - this is pretty much up-to-date and does well for itself. Their large sedan is the DTS (used to be called the DeVille) and for a large car, I think it's pretty well designed and relatively efficient. But their potential buyers are literally dying off so don't know how much longer this model will be allowed to exist.

Btw Buick - sort of a semi-luxury brand priced for Regular Joes - is trying to do better and after dropping their full-sized Lucerne model earlier this year, are going to start selling a small car, called the Verano (http://www.caranddriver.com/news/car/10q4/2012_buick_verano_official_photos_and_info-auto_shows).

[silence7]

Not to derail a thread about BIG clunky American cars, but.....

I drove the 1970 Karmann Ghia for 7 years as a daily driver, and the things you can repair on the side of the road with a VW would boggle the mind. I carried a giant tool kit, and lots of extra parts, 20 mins later, I was back on the road. It leaked water, no heater, no air-conditioner, power nothing, it was slow, but I loved driving it. Good times.

Funky:
was recently at a job site, and the guy who owned the place had a 2011 Cadillac CTS-V (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mTHcq18dwhU), and OMG, what a badass Caddy..