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View Full Version : Stories I should never tell part 1


abbott
10-15-2011, 09:33 PM
Well maybe part XXIV, but anyway..

San Antonio, River Walk, College Party, Two Bottles of wine, Fat Joint, More Wine and near the end of the night…

Walking into some Irish Piano bar, me and about 8 girls … I beg, please some one stay outside with me … girls say, well be right back, don’t move.


Here I am alone, sitting by the river, but I can see inside the piano bar and see this guy going off on the piano and working the crowed … the river is spinning like the blades of a helicopter…


Ok, these two ladies approaches me and start message me, one on each side… and this is a full body message…

I start thinking, where is my wallet…

I reach for my back pocket and sure enough … no wallet…

I took both of these ladies down … they looked good, but they were older than me by a good 8-10 years. I had them both on their knees and I see the bouncer coming my way…. These chicks got my wallet..


The bouncer says … you fucked up… that’s a cop and her friend is a doctor…

I let go and the cop says I am going to jail and you can see a red mark on her wrist where I took her down, … a little move I call the Evan Tanner technique…

Anyway, I explained that I never had two ladies rub my penis like that … I said I’m from a small town and I got nerves and next thing you know, it s all good and we hug and part ways. My college teacher was there to explain that a screwed up a great shot for a threesome and next time I can call in the morning for a ride.

I fell like it was some type of divine intervention, because I just started dating my wife. Had the threesome happen I am cretin our relationship would have been short lived…

kaiser soze
10-15-2011, 09:45 PM
what's a full body message?

p.s.

your grammar sucks ass

hardnox71
10-15-2011, 10:39 PM
Well maybe part XXIV, but anyway..

San Antonio, River Walk, College Party, Two Bottles of wine, Fat Joint, More Wine and near the end of the night…

Walking into some Irish Piano bar, me and about 8 girls … I beg, please some one stay outside with me … girls say, well be right back, don’t move.


Here I am alone, sitting by the river, but I can see inside the piano bar and see this guy going off on the piano and working the crowed … the river is spinning like the blades of a helicopter…


Ok, these two ladies approaches me and start message me, one on each side… and this is a full body message…

I start thinking, where is my wallet…

I reach for my back pocket and sure enough … no wallet…

I took both of these ladies down … they looked good, but they were older than me by a good 8-10 years. I had them both on their knees and I see the bouncer coming my way…. These chicks got my wallet..


The bouncer says … you fucked up… that’s a cop and her friend is a doctor…

I let go and the cop says I am going to jail and you can see a red mark on her wrist where I took her down, … a little move I call the Evan Tanner technique…

Anyway, I explained that I never had two ladies rub my penis like that … I said I’m from a small town and I got nerves and next thing you know, it s all good and we hug and part ways. My college teacher was there to explain that a screwed up a great shot for a threesome and next time I can call in the morning for a ride.

I fell like it was some type of divine intervention, because I just started dating my wife. Had the threesome happen I am cretin our relationship would have been short lived…

What exactly do you smoke and how much?

silence7
10-16-2011, 02:25 AM
I reach for my back pocket and sure enough … no wallet…

Wait, What?? So a cop stole your wallet?

sab0tage
10-16-2011, 02:48 AM
You're right, you should never have told it!

abbott
10-16-2011, 06:39 AM
oh yea, I found my wallet in my front pocket...

rirv
10-22-2011, 06:51 PM
Shanghai, 2005, bad things.

ms.peachy
10-22-2011, 11:48 PM
Shanghai, 2005, bad things.

Dirty KTV? Pink barbershop?