Support v Independence

[Kid Presentable]

I defer to the group because I don't know what to do.

If you had to move out of your house, and pretty much start your adult life over, would you 'transition' first by staying with your parents/family? Or would you find a place on your own and get on with the business of getting on with things?

I have to make my mind up, and have been looking for a place to undertake the latter option. But I'm kind of having self-doubt over my ability to get established with my head not quite 100%.

Staying with the rents would be good for a little while, but would involve moving twice, and feeling like a failure and so on.

Living on my own would be lonely, but I would have more fun which I think is important in bouncing back. Living with other people is not an option. Input and/or mockery welcomed. :)

[camo]

Rents. Three reasons. One - it's a good way to save a little bit of cash to help you find your feet and Two - Just so you have someone there. Three - You can always ditch them without fear of remorse should circumstances turn around.

[abbott]

move in with the parents till you find a partner to do your laundry.

[Lex Diamonds]

Independence is better, Support is easier. Next question.

[checkyourprez]

rents.


youll save some cash. and be reminded of why independence is so great.

[venusvenus123]

Rent your own place. If you move back with your parents you will become a "child" again. Living on your own will be lonely, at times, but will enable you to find yourself again. By that I mean the person who is you without your partner rather than some hippy dippy shit, tho that could also be good.

[Dorothy Wood]

Get your own place, but visit with your family often.

[Guy Incognito]

own place near your family

its easy to be complacent at your folks. I did it and got into a bit of a rut. Being in my own place would have been much better, i would have got off me arse a bit better and it would have forced me to do stuff, take me mind off stuff i was occupied with. Reality was i stayed with me folks and sulked. not sayin you would do the same but i think own place helps keep you motivated to crack on but doesnt mean you cant ask for support if its close by.

[Kid Presentable]

Thanks guys.

[Kid Presentable]

For what it's worth, I'm gonna get my own place and get on with it. This shit has gone on for the better part of a year, I've poured a fair amount of effort into things, and basically my thoughts can be summed up in the bob quote which is at present my signature.

If I went to the oldies I'd regress like fuck. I know this to be true. Gonna put in the work to make sure I move on in a positive way, get myself used to myself. It's a pretty big opportunity in that respect; given how miserable this marriage became it feels like getting out of jail and having enough life left to make it worth enjoying.

[venusvenus123]

Thumbs up, sounds like a good plan. Good luck!

[Lex Diamonds]

I think you're doing the right thing and have already made the hardest decision, if my word counts for anything. You're a good dude, just need to avoid the neuroses and excuses to get depressed because you seem susceptible to that shit- meaning a bad marriage definitely isn't the look.

Good luck anyway bruh.

[Kid Presentable]

I think you're doing the right thing and have already made the hardest decision, if my word counts for anything. You're a good dude, just need to avoid the neuroses and excuses to get depressed because you seem susceptible to that shit- meaning a bad marriage definitely isn't the look.

Good luck anyway bruh.

Thanks breh. It sounds offensive, but the realisation that some of that susceptibility came from the relationship is giving me the momentum to make some changes. It won't be easy to make this transition, but based on this recent experience I promise you guys won't have to deal with my psuedo-suicidal bullshit anymore. Life is a good thing, even when it sucks. (y)

[Kid Presentable]

Thumbs up, sounds like a good plan. Good luck!

Thanks venus. I know this thread is mad self-indulgent. I guess I just don't give a fuck.