I think my daughter is a genius

[HOTWIFE]

Besides the fact that she is extremely advanced compared to kids her age (she is 2 1/3) according to her doctor she is showing clasic signs of being gifted. She said her first word (Mama) at just shy of 3 months old. She started showing compassion and emotional intelligence at about a year old. She is EXTREMELY emotionally sensitive. I can't even raise my voice around her. She's also very sensitive to loud noises, which I just found out is common amoung geniuses. Is 'geniuses' even proper grammar? I should consult my daughter. She absolutely blows me away on a daily basis with the things she says. And her memory amazes me. She only has to hear something once and its locked away in her vault forever. So my point here is if in fact she actually is gifted, it is concerning to me because gifted people tend to be misunderstood emotionally and made fun of and or classified as strange or weird. I think she is the most perfect little being on this planet but i fear that she may have problems in school in terms of other kids making fun,but that is something that i know we can deal with its a common occurence for most children. Any other parents on the BBMB have a little Einstein on their hands that care to offer some advice? I cannot have her IQ tested until she is 4.

[Echewta]

Did she talk you into posting this?

[HOTWIFE]

Did she talk you into posting this?

no she scolded me for it...

[DIGI]

no she scolded me for it...

Did you cry when she scolded you? If yes, that means you're a genius.

[Helvete]

Not trying to be a dick, seriously I'm not, but let's hope it's not some autistic savant type thing. I'm sure you would have noticed any adverse behaviour by this point and I'm sure she's great, but there can be extremes!

[HOTWIFE]

Not trying to be a dick, seriously I'm not, but let's hope it's not some autistic savant type thing. I'm sure you would have noticed any adverse behaviour by this point and I'm sure she's great, but there can be extremes!

The thought has definitely crossed my mind and I have researched Autism and Asperger's and although its still early to tell I don't believe she has any of those...there's also the argument that all gifted people have Autistic/Asperger's tendancies so who knows? A lot of times ppl with these conditions excel in certain areas such as comprehension while others such as speech are delayed. This is not the case for her.

[Dorothy Wood]

my cousin was like that. his parents put him in a school with a gifted program eventually because he had a hard time socially in regular school. He'd get bored and cause distractions; and he was very sensitive and cried a lot, so kids would make fun of him. The gifted school had more accepting teachers and students at his academic level.

I remember his parents put him in little league and he just didn't like it. I went to one of his games once, and he was on the bench looking at everything around him, but not paying attention to the game at all.

He's 19 now, pursuing music education in college because that's the niche he found in high school. So, he's a nerd, has not done much dating that I know of, but has a decent amount of friends. Seems like a generally happy kid with a supportive family.


I think you mainly just have to give your daughter support, and not try to make her into a mainstream kinda kid if that's not where she's heading naturally...so long as you keep her healthy and loved, she'll be fine.

[HOTWIFE]

my cousin was like that. his parents put him in a school with a gifted program eventually because he had a hard time socially in regular school. He'd get bored and cause distractions; and he was very sensitive and cried a lot, so kids would make fun of him. The gifted school had more accepting teachers and students at his academic level.

I remember his parents put him in little league and he just didn't like it. I went to one of his games once, and he was on the bench looking at everything around him, but not paying attention to the game at all.

He's 19 now, pursuing music education in college because that's the niche he found in high school. So, he's a nerd, has not done much dating that I know of, but has a decent amount of friends. Seems like a generally happy kid with a supportive family.


I think you mainly just have to give your daughter support, and not try to make her into a mainstream kinda kid if that's not where she's heading naturally...so long as you keep her healthy and loved, she'll be fine.

I definitely agree with that advice. My goal as a mother has always been to make her feel that however God made her she is perfect, at least in my eyes. I always want her to feel the same way about herself:-)

[kaiser soze]

Looks like you have a bright child who likes it quiet...

girls are traditionally known to develop faster than boys in speech and emotions at this age. She may very well fall into the autitism spectrum but I wouldn't speculate that nor that she is exceptionally gifted. Just accept her for who she is - tried to tap into her interests without forcing your's on her.

my son (almost 3) has been growing by leaps and bounds with his comprehension and communication and physical capabilities - as much as I think he is a bright little bugger I'm not going to jump to any conclusions

[checkyourprez]

also not to try and sound like a dick but is there any parents who dont think there child is gifted or special to some degree??


is there ever a parent to make a thread on a message board there says "well i think my son is really below average intellegence, hes just not with it etc etc"

[ms.peachy]

is there ever a parent to make a thread on a message board there says "well i think my son is really below average intellegence, hes just not with it etc etc"

Well, yes. Spend a little time on some parenting forums and you will find plenty of people posting questions about what is 'normal' development for a certain age, because they feel like maybe their child is not up to the level they see other children of the same age at, or they feel like speech is delayed or the child is otherwise just not quite "there" in some way.

[MC Moot]

"I ain't impressed....You wanna impress me?...Take the wheel for a little while..."

[Adam]

When I worked with the Health Visitors (zero-five development nurses) we often got parents coming in trying to out do what little Johnny & Jane can already do.

"Well, she is reading books for 3+ now and she is only 8 months"
"Yes, mine was was doing that too so we took her to violin lessons and she now is lead in the school band"
"I see, the doctor said I should take her to ballet but with most of the children several years older than her we was scared it she wouldn't fit in but it has been said since she was born that her social and motor skills are best anyone has ever seen so we're trying her out in the advanced class to start with..."

and so on

I always wanted to get the HVs to say stuff like "so now that he/she has turned 3 years old how are they with books" and if they go down the showing off path to then go "how many of the classics has she read and did she understand the three main plot lines of [insertclassicbookhere]..."

But they didn't, they carried on being professional about their work and wouldn't entertain the bored desk jockey :(

To confirm, I ain't being a dick either. Just a cynic.

[checkyourprez]

Well, yes. Spend a little time on some parenting forums and you will find plenty of people posting questions about what is 'normal' development for a certain age, because they feel like maybe their child is not up to the level they see other children of the same age at, or they feel like speech is delayed or the child is otherwise just not quite "there" in some way.

When I worked with the Health Visitors (zero-five development nurses) we often got parents coming in trying to out do what little Johnny & Jane can already do.

"Well, she is reading books for 3+ now and she is only 8 months"
"Yes, mine was was doing that too so we took her to violin lessons and she now is lead in the school band"
"I see, the doctor said I should take her to ballet but with most of the children several years older than her we was scared it she wouldn't fit in but it has been said since she was born that her social and motor skills are best anyone has ever seen so we're trying her out in the advanced class to start with..."

and so on

I always wanted to get the HVs to say stuff like "so now that he/she has turned 3 years old how are they with books" and if they go down the showing off path to then go "how many of the classics has she read and did she understand the three main plot lines of [insertclassicbookhere]..."

But they didn't, they carried on being professional about their work and wouldn't entertain the bored desk jockey :(

To confirm, I ain't being a dick either. Just a cynic.


i get the impression this goes on more than the other.


but in the interest of full disclosure i do not visit parenting forums.

[HOTWIFE]

I am in no way 'bragging' or one of those mothers who compares her child out loud to other parents. I brought it up to get people's opinions such as ms peachy who have had any experience with it. my nephew is exactly 2 months,younger than my daughter and is right on track with kids his age and his father constantly compares him to my Ava like there is something wrong with him. it breaks my heart and I've explained that he IS 2 months younger which at their age is a large amount of time in terms of their development and girls typically develop quicker than boys at that age.

[Helvete]

I thought the whole developing quicker than boys didn't start to happen until, well, they actually start to develop.

[HOTWIFE]

I thought the whole developing quicker than boys didn't start to happen until, well, they actually start to develop.

jesus christ you know what I mean

[checkyourprez]

boobs :eek:

[HOTWIFE]

lol

[Helvete]

jesus christ you know what I mean

No, girls and boys are pretty much identical mentally and physically until like 12 years old, then the girls 'mature' in both ways until guys catch up 4-5 years later.

[HOTWIFE]

No, girls and boys are pretty much identical mentally and physically until like 12 years old, then the girls 'mature' in both ways until guys catch up 4-5 years later.

There is a word for that its called puberty but I'm speaking of the age of 0-4 girls TYPICALLY surpass boys in most areas such as comprehension and speech. capiche?

[ms.peachy]

i get the impression this goes on more than the other.


but in the interest of full disclosure i do not visit parenting forums.


I think that in person yes you are more likely to get the former, because face-to-face it's quite hard for people to admit they suspect there may be a problem. So if a mom or dad is at a playgroup or whatever with a bunch of other parents, they might put on a happy face and talk about all the great things their kid is doing, but inside they may be being eaten alive by worry and doubt. If you haven't been through it, you can't imagine how much judgement you are subject to as the parent of a young child, so there's always this fear that if you admit you are worried about some aspect of your child's development, there are people waiting to jump on you to tell you "It's because you didn't breastfeed/ didn't breastfeed long enough/ co-slept/didn't co-sleep/ let the watch television before they were 2/ didn't let them watch the right kind of television/ didn't feed them organic food/ let them drink cows milk/ let drink eat soy milk/ had a beer one whilst you were pregnant/ because it rained on Tuesday/ because you wore that green jacket" and on and on and on. So you might not hear it so much directly from people, but given some anonymity on the web, you see it a lot in parenting forums.

HW - it's hard for me to offer any real cogent opinion on your daughter's situation without 'seeing her in action' so to speak, but sure, it's possibly you may have a highly gifted child. Poor you - they're a lot more work than a regular kid. Need a lot more stimulation and it can run parents ragged. It is true that if her intellectual and academic ability continues to outpace her social and emotional development, she may have some difficulty down the line, but I think it is too early to tie yourself in knots about that. For right now, concentrate on things she can do which keep her interested, but do try to have those things have some sort of social component - is there a team sport she can play (like a tot's soccer league or something?) Or maybe gymnastics? group art classes?

One thing I strongly suggest is seeking out some sort of martial arts training. This will engage her both intellectually and physically, and will help teach her discipline and focus. Honestly I'd recommend it for all kids, but for bright children in particular, their minds can get very cluttered with brain-chatter, because they are thinking and thinking and leaping from one idea to the next. It is useful for them to learn how to shut that off, to quiet their minds and be present in the moment. If you have a place or two in your town that offers classes for youngsters, talk with the directors. Quite often they don't start classes until age 5 but if you have a discussion with them and explain why you are interested, you may find them sympathetic to the situation and willing to work with a younger child (privately if not part of the class.)

[HOTWIFE]

I do have plans to enroll her in some type of martial arts class when she's a little older...mostly due to her father nagging me about it, but that is a great idea for intellectual and physical stimulation. I have asked her what she wants to do in terms of kiddie classes and she says she wants to be a ballerina:-) so ballet and martial arts it is!

[Helvete]

There is a word for that its called puberty but I'm speaking of the age of 0-4 girls TYPICALLY surpass boys in most areas such as comprehension and speech. capiche?

Never heard of this or seen anything of the sort in any of my 6 nephews or nieces. Proof?

[ms.peachy]

Never heard of this or seen anything of the sort in any of my 6 nephews or nieces. Proof?

She is correct, that in general (all behavior being on a spectrum), girls do tend to develop social skills faster than boys, starting from around age 2. To some extent this may contribute to more rapid emotional and intellectual development, because they use more cooperative skills and 'tune in' to what they can learn from others (peers, parents, caregivers) more easily. There is also evidence that boys tend to develop physical coordination more quickly, and explore their environment more in depth and so develop more spatial skills and how to adapt to changing stimuli, so it's just different types of learning really. And again - it's all on a continuum, so 'girls are like this, boys are like that' is of course not the full story. If you ask the parents of your nephews and nieces what they have observed in their children, you might well find they concur with what HW is saying. Or not, who knows. The balance of research does point to faster language development in girls as well as other minor but noted differences in the genders. In terms of basic biological processes however, it is true that they are pretty much the same until puberty; brain development is a whole other kettle of fish.

[ms.peachy]

I do have plans to enroll her in some type of martial arts class when she's a little older...mostly due to her father nagging me about it, but that is a great idea for intellectual and physical stimulation. I have asked her what she wants to do in terms of kiddie classes and she says she wants to be a ballerina:-) so ballet and martial arts it is!

Definitely try to make sure she is engaged in doing things with her peer group, even if they don't seem 'caught up' to her. Art activities can be great for this, since there's not a right or wrong way to be creative, right? But it's important to not start to let her get isolated from kids her own age.

[Adam]

mumsnet! That is entertainment there. Some of the posts are like reading a Daily Mail/Fox News satire but without the satire.

peachy is right tho, from my experience looking in that some of the main problems stem from opinions coming from a point of authority. Like "I work as a nurse (when they actually mean admin assistant at pre-school) and putting your baby into a moses basket damages their spine". And some (especially middle class*) parents take on far too much advice, read too many books that are against a lot of the UNICEF standards that they could be dangerous.

Obviously, I'm looking in and I have developed an opinion. I don't plan ever to have children and luckily my girl doesn't either so I'll never probably know - but it can't be easy. On the other hand though, the majority of people are great parents so we get by and common sense normally prevails.

*not saying any class are bad parents

[ms.peachy]

mumsnet! That is entertainment there. Some of the posts are like reading a Daily Mail/Fox News satire but without the satire.


Yeah I can't be dealing with Mumsnet; they got them some crazy ass bitches over there.

[HAL 9000]

Besides the fact that she is extremely advanced compared to kids her age (she is 2 1/3) according to her doctor she is showing clasic signs of being gifted. She said her first word (Mama) at just shy of 3 months old. She started showing compassion and emotional intelligence at about a year old. She is EXTREMELY emotionally sensitive. I can't even raise my voice around her. She's also very sensitive to loud noises, which I just found out is common amoung geniuses. Is 'geniuses' even proper grammar? I should consult my daughter. She absolutely blows me away on a daily basis with the things she says. And her memory amazes me. She only has to hear something once and its locked away in her vault forever. So my point here is if in fact she actually is gifted, it is concerning to me because gifted people tend to be misunderstood emotionally and made fun of and or classified as strange or weird. I think she is the most perfect little being on this planet but i fear that she may have problems in school in terms of other kids making fun,but that is something that i know we can deal with its a common occurence for most children. Any other parents on the BBMB have a little Einstein on their hands that care to offer some advice? I cannot have her IQ tested until she is 4.

That is very impressive. Saying 'mama' even if that is not attached to any meaning, at 3 months is incredible.

My kids are pretty normal developmentally so I have no particular experience but I would say this...

Be careful, people are going to want to use your pride in your daughter to make you buy things you do not need. They will tell you they have a special early test for giftedness or that you need to go to a particular class. A lot of this will be a scam, watch out - check that any program on offer has a body of (published & peer reviewed) research behind it. There is so much crap for parents out there and this will make you a target.

Also a lot of gifted children experience difficulties in their late teens and early twenties because other kids often 'catch up'. Being a fast developer does not mean being a genius adult and the disappointment from this can cause a lot of emotional issues later on.

[Helvete]

She is correct, that in general (all behavior being on a spectrum), girls do tend to develop social skills faster than boys, starting from around age 2. To some extent this may contribute to more rapid emotional and intellectual development, because they use more cooperative skills and 'tune in' to what they can learn from others (peers, parents, caregivers) more easily. There is also evidence that boys tend to develop physical coordination more quickly, and explore their environment more in depth and so develop more spatial skills and how to adapt to changing stimuli, so it's just different types of learning really. And again - it's all on a continuum, so 'girls are like this, boys are like that' is of course not the full story. If you ask the parents of your nephews and nieces what they have observed in their children, you might well find they concur with what HW is saying. Or not, who knows. The balance of research does point to faster language development in girls as well as other minor but noted differences in the genders. In terms of basic biological processes however, it is true that they are pretty much the same until puberty; brain development is a whole other kettle of fish.

Too bad that once women get caught up after puberty they turn into complete and utter retards.

[HOTWIFE]

^^^funny, I feel the same about men. the ones that do catch up anyway.

[ms.peachy]

They catch up? I haven't actually seen any data that confirms that.

[abbott]

I think my daughter is a genius...

http://bbs.beastieboys.com/showthread.php?t=97317&highlight=breeding

Yours too.

[M|X|Y]

Not to say your kid isn't the next Einstein but I don't think I've ever heard anyone say "I think my young child is a complete idiot" (y)

[M|X|Y]

that being said, all parents should(?) be in some kind of awe of their children - don't get me wrong..
awe as irrational as being in love
somehow the same way a lot of us grow up to realize our parents aren't perfect.
being in love is as much about ourselves as it's about the object of of our awe.
i dunno

[Kid Presentable]

Can she change a tyre? If not, then I'm smarter than her.