Lines that make you laugh every single time...

[TreasureEverywh]

...whether it's the first or the millionth time. Here's mine:

"Humpty Dumpty was a big fat egg."

Genius.:D

[sab0tage]

He weighs in pretty hefty etc etc. A pretty obvious one but cracks me up every time :D

[beasties#1fan]

He weighs in pretty hefty etc etc. A pretty obvious one but cracks me up every time :D

Same!!! I laugh EVERYTIME cause mike d is stoned out of his mind and everyone is just cracking up, and I can't even understand what he says but it's hilarious. And when Adrock mumbles "how much did he weigh?" hahahaha

[birdfloatindown]

"Aw yeah, I need everybody's cooperation right about now, I'd like to find out whose favorite detective it is: is it Mannix? Barnaby Jones? Somebody say Colombo! McMillan? Is it Cannon? Barnaby Jones...I said that already..."

[Irie7]

"Aw yeah, I need everybody's cooperation right about now, I'd like to find out whose favorite detective it is: is it Mannix? Barnaby Jones? Somebody say Colombo! McMillan? Is it Cannon? Barnaby Jones...I said that already..."

(y)^

"George Whipple on New York 1, got a hairy ass and that's no fun!"

[birdfloatindown]

"George Whipple on New York 1, got a hairy ass and that's no fun!"

"T-shirt and no pants and I dance the bugaloo" :D Adrock's hilarious.

[YoungRemy]

don't know if this has even been brought up but it sounds like Mike D flubs a line in Lee Majors Come Again and they just leave it in after he chuckles for a moment.

"The Six Dillion... Billion Dollar Man"

[CoolAsACucumber]

He weighs in pretty hefty etc etc. A pretty obvious one but cracks me up every time :D

Same!!! I laugh EVERYTIME cause mike d is stoned out of his mind and everyone is just cracking up, and I can't even understand what he says but it's hilarious. And when Adrock mumbles "how much did he weigh?" hahahaha

God..I love that part too. The other day I listened to it over and over just to listen to MCA laugh, but the whole thing is hilarious.

One of my favs..."Is your name Michael Diamond? No, mine's Clarence!"

Not one that makes me laugh, but every time MCA says "Making love in the back of my Coupe De Ville" I think dirty thoughts...LOL.:p

[lauryn24]

It may not be the most poetic but basically all of Licensed to Ill is a proper dirty Beavis & Butthead snigger

[Rodie]

"Update my permed hair and I'm good to fro." - Mike D

"Stop sweating me about the weather, go shave a sheep and knit yourself a sweater." - MCA

"I'm the king adwhammy, you're Dick Butkus!" - Ad-Rock

[Deep_Sea_Rain]

"E.T. phone home now get the fuck out my face" -Adrock

"The proof is in the pudding and the puddings in my pants, you heard me rap now watch me dance" -Adrock

[DJ Pioneer]

"Like Frankenstein or Count Dracula, I grab the mic and then I fuck it up..." -- Adrock

[Heather_D]

One of my favs..."Is your name Michael Diamond? No, mine's Clarence

I like that one too. I also like "Cause I be dropping the new science & I be kicking the new k-nowledge". Always makes me smile.

I like "I dropped my drawers & it was welcome back Kotter.". Dunno why. Doesn't seem that funny & I never liked the show

[scrappy]

"...Who's that sucker with the parrot on his shoulder..." -Licensed To Ill

"...I dogged your wife and she is a doofus" - Paul's Boutique

"...I ride around town on my low-rider bicycle" -Check Your Head

"If you want to battle you're in denial
Coming from Uranus to check my style " -Hello Nasty

"You're like a fish-wife, quit your damn wingin'..." - To The 5 Burroughs

"...Funky Donkey..." Hot Sauce Committee, Pt II

[sab0tage]

Because I saw you at the check out line, you dropped your coupons and you were looking fine

[TreasureEverywh]

“I don’t mean to brag / I don’t mean to boast / But I’m intercontinental when I eat French toast.”

[POMP]

"I'm the king of Boggle there is none higher
I get 11 points off the word quagmire"

"I Got Game Like I Worked At Hasbro"

"Dogs love me cause I'm crazy sniffable."

"Cause I'm a come inside and do my thing. I'm gonna take off my drawers and let myself swing."

...and Adrock's entire verse in Long Burn The Fire.

[Panamint]

"Chewin' (chillin'?) on mushrooms and gettin' high, the people gather round to ask me why."- Car Thief Demo 1

"Press seven on the elevator, I'm so high." Car Thief Demo 2

Both Mike D lines! He has the funniest shit! "I'm comin' Weezy!"


Last month when I stayed at a hotel, the receptionist hands me my key and goes "You will be on the 7th floor." I started cracking up laughing. I got to the elevator (full of people) and one of them asked which floor I needed. I said, "Press 7 on the elevator... I'm so hiiiiiigh."

This was the day after Yauch died, and, I was in Tulsa to see Roger Waters.

[a.k.a me]

"I got more rhymes than Phyllis Diller"

It always reminds me of their performance at the Joan Rivers show; the way MCA points to Joan and then looks at the camera while he's singing that part is just too funny.

[Tam_Tam]

The entirety of Tough Guy

"It's just too bad that girl's a bum." She's Crafty

"Hear no evil, see no evil, talking no bullshit". Finger Licken Good

"Coming from Uranus to check my style". Intergalatic

"Fresh like a box of Krispy Kreme". 3 Mc's

'Nobody likes a sloppy drunk stinkin up the room like a stinky skunk." Sloppy Drunks.

[maggz]

on various live versions of ch-check it out: "i'll snatch you up with the motherfuckin needle nose pliers and shit!" haha

[beasties#1fan]

(y)^

"George Whipple on New York 1, got a hairy ass and that's no fun!"
yeah and when adrock says "ewwwwwwh" in the background! ahhah

[beasties#1fan]

[quote=Rodie;1792039]

"Stop sweating me about the weather, go shave a sheep and knit yourself a sweater." - MCA

/quote]
i laugh at that one too!!!!!!!! its one of my fav's off the new album

[JoLovesMCA]

Every time I would play Desperado in my car my friend would crack up laughing when it got to: Well, DJ Strong hold popping that weak
He punched Big Bird in his goddamn beak


I think it's funny too but it's always her reaction that makes it funnier for me. :cool:

[The Ron]

"Shit, if this is gonna be that kind of party
I'm gonna stick my dick in the mashed potatoes"

[100% ILL]

"Ride the wave of fate, It don't ride me holmes. Bein very proud to be an mc".........from Shadrach

[OldSkoolGirl]

Same!!! I laugh EVERYTIME cause mike d is stoned out of his mind and everyone is just cracking up, and I can't even understand what he says but it's hilarious. And when Adrock mumbles "how much did he weigh?" hahahaha

You don't understand... whenever I hear them doing this, I LOSE MY SHIT!!!Like I am there with them and they crack my ass up!!! it is embarrassing really, especially in the gym, but it makes me feel frickin' giddy every time!!! :D

[beasties#1fan]

You don't understand... whenever I hear them doing this, I LOSE MY SHIT!!!Like I am there with them and they crack my ass up!!! it is embarrassing really, especially in the gym, but it makes me feel frickin' giddy every time!!! :D

No I totally know what you mean, hahaha I feel the same way, it makes me laugh out loud, the full version is even better

[OldSkoolGirl]

Oh, and ALL of Boomin' Granny. That shit is FUNNY

[Brass Monk]

"Cheech Wizard in a snow blizzard"

[CoolAsACucumber]

Same!!! I laugh EVERYTIME cause mike d is stoned out of his mind and everyone is just cracking up, and I can't even understand what he says but it's hilarious. And when Adrock mumbles "how much did he weigh?" hahahaha

No I totally know what you mean, hahaha I feel the same way, it makes me laugh out loud, the full version is even better

I listened to that song the other day like 6 times in a row because 1) it's funny as shit, especially the "bitch ass hack on the court" line and 2) to hear MCA laugh. I love and miss that laugh.

[birdfloatindown]

"I see that Def Jam doesn't recognize me. I'm Mike D., the one who put the satin in your panties."

[Bernard Goetz]

After Yauch's Cindy Lou-Who shoutout, Ad Rock going "Cindy What? I missed that last one! That shit sounded kinda nice but bust a fast one!" (bonus batter laugh is Yauch coming back with "Well I'm not known for my speed raps...")

[Bernard Goetz]

Bitch, I'll fuckin' kick your ass, bitch.
Hello, Carvel?
Yo, man. Cookypuss there?
Who?
Cookypuss. I want to speak to Cookypuss, man!
No. Nobody here by that name.
A Cooky O' Puss then. Cookychic. Anybody, man. I want to speak to them!
They're not here.
I said, I house ya. Where's Cookie Puss at? Yo, I'm serious. I wanna talk to...yo, man, Cookypuss. Alright let, let me order one then. Let me get one.
When do you want it for?
Anytime, man. Just like now and, shit, you know, that shit now.
I'm talkin' now, B. Damn bitch hang up. I'll kick your ass, bitch!

I'm all for their personal growth and whatnot, but that is still some of the funniest shit ever.

[Tam_Tam]

Aww yeah baby. You know you are the one. The fuckin one.

How the hell had I never heard of Boomin Granny? That shit is genius.

[fonky pizza]

It's not a line but a melody that makes me laugh every time:

The little "dudududuuu" gibson blues guitar melody the beginning of Off The Grid...that's just me i guess...:D

[OldSkoolGirl]

"Don't ask me
to wine and dine ya
I'm from Brooklyn
You're from Regina..."

(Anyone from Canada will appreciate that is funny shit!)

And

"Well I'm a freaky streaker like Winnie the Pooh
T-shirt and no pants and I dance the bugaloo"

Also
"cuz she's the cheese
and I'm the macaroni"
(makes me smile because I think it's sooo romantic! is that wrong?! lol)

Last one...because I LOOVE this and want it tattooed on my forehead!

"Now, I don't give a fuck who the hell you are
Please stop shouting in your cellular
I never asked to be part of your day
So please stop shouting in your phone
OKAY?!"

Love it love it loooooove it...see? smiling just typin' them out!!!

[benchillin]

pretty new lines but not lyrics that make me laugh from FFYRTPR:

The one about the metal girls tripping on acid after being at a Van Halen concert....

and of course shortly after;

"AdRock got stabbed..."

[facedownfall]

I listened to that song the other day like 6 times in a row because 1) it's funny as shit, especially the "bitch ass hack on the court" line and 2) to hear MCA laugh. I love and miss that laugh.


"he's like the guy in the hefty bag commercial" - Mike D through much laughter.

[laurie_hammy]

I heard the Car Thief demos again the other day. They have some funny as lines.

[muffinman145]

MCA on Egg Man... "Which came first, the chicken or the egg? I ate the chicken and then I ate his leg!"
Something about the way he says that gets me xD

[beasties#1fan]

MCA on Egg Man... "Which came first, the chicken or the egg? I ate the chicken and then I ate his leg!"
Something about the way he says that gets me xD
It always sounded like he said "I ate the chicken and then i ate its egg" hahahah

[JoLovesMCA]

It's the LEG I tell YA!!!!!!!!

http://beastieboysgallery.com/displayimage.php?album=330&pid=34#top_display_media

[Bernard Goetz]

It's "I egged the chicken, then I ate its leg."

[beasties#1fan]

It's the LEG I tell YA!!!!!!!!

http://beastieboysgallery.com/displayimage.php?album=330&pid=34#top_display_media
LOL:D

[pm0ney]

Doris the finkasaurus usually gets me.

[Oshwal Academy]

"There's three of us, but we're not the Beatles"

[beasties#1fan]

"There's three of us, but we're not the Beatles"

.... I could have sworn that was RUNDMC

[laurie_hammy]

ET phone home now get the fuck out mah face.

[OldSkoolGirl]

"So put a quarter in your ass cuz you played yourself"

(yes, I know this was originally Big Daddy Kane, but it still makes me laugh!!!)

[b-grrrlie]

Doris the finkasaurus usually gets me.
(y)

[PortlandBGirl]

My favorites are:

I'm the king of Boggle, there is none higher
I gets 11 points on the word quagmire

Dogs love me cause I'm crazy sniffable

And

I'll stir fry you in my wok!

[Hello_Kitty]

How about a favorite video moment that makes you laugh every single time?

Mine is in Check-Check It Out when Adrock is rapping while walking down the straight and Yauch (aka the old lady) throws a fish at him but then Adrock throws it back and Yauch (aka the old lady) picks up the walker biting his upper lip like he's ready to kick some young whipper snapper ass! Just that look on his face dressed as an old lady cracks me up every time.

[FlechaRojo]

How about a favorite video moment that makes you laugh every single time?

Mine is in Check-Check It Out when Adrock is rapping while walking down the straight and Yauch (aka the old lady) throws a fish at him but then Adrock throws it back and Yauch (aka the old lady) picks up the walker biting his upper lip like he's ready to kick some young whipper snapper ass! Just that look on his face dressed as an old lady cracks me up every time.

Favorite video moments almost deserve their own thread! There's so many :D. Great choice. Also love when they beat crap out of each other with the inflatable alligators, lol.

As for lines:

“The proof is in the pudding, and the pudding’s in my pants.”

Said "Doc, what's the condition? I'm a man that's on a mission."
Said "Son, you'd better listen, stuck in your ass is an electrician."

WTH?! LMAO!

[CoolAsACucumber]

"People come up to me and they try to talk shit, Maaaaaan
I've been making records since you were sucking on your mother's dick"

Good lord...makes me laugh like I am 13 years old every time! :D

[laurie_hammy]

"People come up to me and they try to talk shit, Maaaaaan
I've been making records since you were sucking on your mother's dick"

Good lord...makes me laugh like I am 13 years old every time! :D

And on the "3 Minute Rule Demo"

"People come up to me,
An they try to talk shit maaaan
You dont know me why dont you just shut the fuck up"

[Angela63]

" She had taken the bed & the chest of drawers "

[Theimportance]

Egg Man always makes me laugh...

"Sam I am, down with the program/Green eggs and ham, Yosemite Sam!"
"It comes from a chicken, not a bunny, dummy!"

[laurie_hammy]

"Car Thief Demo"

MCA -

I dried it in a toaster oven hid it from your mother
I put in a Ziplock bag and sold it to your brother

[MCAadROCKMiKEd7]

I got rhymes for jerks that bringin on drama, which one ya want first the one aboutchya momma?

Went into the locker room during classes went into your locker and I smashed ya glasses

Bottle in hand at the microphone stand, AY YO HOMEBOY WHATCHYU DRINKIN MAN?!

Runnin wild like rats in the taco bell (taco bell near my house got closed down for rats around a month before hscp2 came out)

I'M THE KING OF BOGGLE! THERE IS NONE HIGHER!

The proof is in the pudding and the puddings in my pants

Got nothin to lose so I'm pissin on the 3rd rail

I met this girl last night with a peculiar cackle


It goes on and on y'all

[MCAadROCKMiKEd7]

"Car Thief Demo"

MCA -

I dried it in a toaster oven hid it from your mother
I put in a Ziplock bag and sold it to your brother

Ohhhhhh that's a good one!

[TreasureEverywh]

Rapunzel, Rapunzel, let down your hair
So I can climb up and get into your underwear

Just makes me picture the scene with Adrock as a fairytale prince being unusually honest about his intentions.

[beasties#1fan]

Rapunzel, Rapunzel, let down your hair
So I can climb up and get into your underwear

Just makes me picture the scene with Adrock as a fairytale prince being unusually honest about his intentions.

Hahahhahaha yeah!!! That line is hilarious

[JoLovesMCA]

This isn’t a funny lyric but a video skit… the clip of them kidnapping the girl in that Spring Break Body Snatchers contest always makes me laugh. MCA saying “come to papa” and then when Adrock takes his mask off the girl grabs him. Love it!!!

[Rodie]

This was a good thread, I felt like resurrecting it:

Ad-Rock - "what the Helen of Troy is that?"
Mike D - "if you got bad breath than maybe try scope and if you wash your ass you'd best use soap"
MCA - "I'd like a lettuce, tomato, and Muenster on rye. All this cheese gonna make me cry. Gorgonzola, provolone, don't even get me started on this microphone"

[fonky pizza]

To all the punks still listening to Crass go take a shower and wash dat ass:cool:

[rhymesayer211]

"In your home I'm cloned, I'm on your headphones, I love it when you spazz out all alone."

This line is pure genius and paints a hilarious visual.

[Lyman Zerga]

'yo what the schnitzel'