Baby jealousy

[russhie]

Not the "oh I wish I had a baby" type of jealousy, but actual jealousy towards a baby. How normal is this?

My boyfriend's mum has been on our back to have a baby soon, ever since his bro knocked his girlfriend at the time up (she is now his fiancee).

Basically, the pair of them were flat broke, in debt, one was unemployed and the other worked casually at a supermarket when it all happened. Oh and they'd been together 2 months. Anyway. He took her overseas, put a ring on it (two in fact), they built a new fully furnished house and bought two new cars, she quit working and he got an apprenticeship. How do they survive? Handouts from both families.

I am a little jealous of the free ride they're getting, especially because I spend 3 hrs a day commuting to and from a job I hate to help pay our mortgage etc, but I'm super proud that my boy and I are self sufficient and we really do have a great lifestyle. Can't complain. The thing that gets me is that the baby (and by extension, the mother) get all the attention now. No one seems to be able to discuss anything other than THE BABY. It's not the baby's fault, I know. But since his arrival, I get asked and hinted at and hassled. It drives me up the wall. I'm jealous of the attention the baby gets, that his mum gets, and this is exacerbated by the fact she was just another 21 year old idiot who got pregnant accidentally and hit the jackpot.

I would like to get over this silly resentment before the baby becomes the child, and is perceptive enough to pick up on my jealousy and resentment towards his parents. Also I would like my semi-inlaws to quit asking where my baby is (they already have one grandchild to pay for, why wish for another?).

And before anyone tells me to tell them I can't have babies - thats exactly what the fiancee did. Riiiight before she fell pregnant. But that's another issue.

I feel horrible for being so mean-spirited :(

[Helvete]

The negatives of a baby definitely outweigh any benefits you may get, stay strong!

[Randetica]

omg that guy im into has a friend who got the cutest baby ever! i want to kiss the hell out of those airbag cheeks!


i already wanted to get preggies when i was 18, glad i wasnt egoistic enough to really go there, now that i was super immature then
mi amigo wants a bunch of kids, hope i can pop out a football team for him

[abbott]

The youngest always gets it all. My 3 year old is the star unless the 1 year old shows up.



I think your feelings are perfect. Now make yourself happy.

[Dorothy Wood]

My friend's two younger sisters both got accidentally knocked up, one at 19 (10 years ago), the other at 21 (2 years ago). Her parents set up the 21 year old with a new car, an apartment, etc. Both girls married the birth fathers and never went to college.

Yet, they look at my friend as a sort of failure because she's not married at 33, even though she has a degree and a fancy downtown job, a car, and a nice apartment she pays for herself.

It's a fucked up world, but enjoy your freedom!

[ms.peachy]

Where's your boyfriend in this? Why isn't he 'manning up' and telling his mother that it's none of her damn business but you two will have a baby when and if you both decide that you are ready to do so, and that she needs to show some respect? His family, his fight. And if he isn't prepared to stand up to them, then guess what, think twice about ever making a baby with a guy like that.

As for the jealousy, you just have to let it go. Their life is really nothing to do with yours, I know it can be hard to see that but you have to just let it roll like water off a duck's back. Think instead of the fact that maybe you can be an example in the child's life of a woman who earns things in life, rather than has them given to her - all children need that, especially girls.

[nodanaonlyzuul]

I think it's natural to go through these feelings.

That said, I second what peachy and DW said. All the way.

Just because that have monetary things set up for them the rest of their lives may not be as great. Forget about it (and be sure your boyfriend deals with his family).

Focus on you.

[Guy Incognito]

hope i can pop out a football team for him

Randchester United?


I dont think russhie is being mean spirited. sounds like a lot of unreasonable pressure. No should be rushed into the biggest decision. I am wondering if all the support for the other couple is down to the relationship not being that old. maybe families were concerned about that and wanted to show support to make sure baby was well support.