Whoopee!! Yay!!

[ericlee]

How you guys been? Long time no see. I'm doing, eh, I seem to have this dark cloud that I can't shake off.

So anyhow, you guys know about my divorce, it was declared by both of us that we're over and how I signed the house off to her because I didn't want it and her parents put almost of the money down so it wasn't a loss for me.

I've been living with her off and on and in July, I decided to stop all my going out and kinda stayed living with her permanently. Sleeping in the same bed even. July 8th which was our 8th year anniversary came and even though we signed divorce papers but haven't gone through the court yet, we had a nice dinner, went usual grocery shopping, had drinks and honestly, it was the best anniversary we ever spent together.

I got to thinking maybe I can do this. Maybe we belong. We were doing great till the end of July.

She sat and told me that there was some single male coworker of hers that likes her and she told him that she has a house, she came from China on her own and bought the house all on her own. Really?? I asked she never mentioned my struggle to get her and her parents where they're at?? She said no.

Fucking HUGE stab to my heart. I kept my cool, continued to live with her. Mid August, she goes out on the weekends and doesn't come back for like the whole weekend. I'm sitting at the house bored. I'm like, you know what? Fuck it. I start going out and dating again.

I happen to meet a real fine and nice lady. One night, we ended up having a great time. Explosions, fireworks, scenes from the Naked Gun. That was on a Friday.

On the following Sunday, we were chatting online. Taking about the great time we had. I left the chat window open, went outside to grab something and my ex walked to the computer and saw our chat and exploded.

Telling me that this is what I use HER house for? You chat to fuck other ladies? I told her hey, I tried with you.

She said she's calling the cops. I'm like whatever, go ahead. I'm not doing anything wrong. I took a walk before they came to come back and the gate was locked and I couldn't get in. Next thing I know, my clothes are being tossed over the gate and landing on me. The cops came and asked why are they there and she told them that I was chatting with another lady online in her house and they're like and?

Anyhow, I'm tired of her ways so I took it upon myself and just left. Living in shared apartments with my own room.

I found a real cheap one in an indesirable neighborhood. The owner is good people so I figure I'll just seclude myself in my room, not go anywhere to accumulate enough money to either get a real decent apartment of my own in an awesome neighborhood or jump ship and move to a whole new state and start from scratch.

My goal was the end of October and I had almost reached my goal and this shit happens.

Since all of my electrical equipment, IE, stereo, tv, etc is still at the house till I either jump ship or get my apartment, the only thing in my room is my clothes.

To keep myself entertained, I would go sit in my jeep while it's parked and listen to music just down the street from where I'm staying.

Last Saturday, I do so after having some beers at about 7pm. I don't drink in my Jeep. I'm listening to some music sitting in the driver's seat, engine on to conserve my battery and I doze off.

I wake up to 2 cops outside my window saying they got a call from someone saying there is an unconscious person in a vehicle. I step out, they said I have bloodshot eyes and my breath smells like alcohol and they cuff me up and take me to the station.

They asked if I'll blow in the breathalyzer and I said sure. I blew 2 over the limit. They asked if I would do a field sobriety and I said sure but can I please have my belt because I lost 50lbs, I'm going commando because tomorrow is laundry day and for the sake of not having my Willie pop out and be on camera. They refused. I asked again and they told me no, you aren't having your belt back. I said ok, screw it. I prepared to do the test and they pushed me and said no, you're not taking it.

I was thrown into central booking at around 8:30 pm till 4pm Sunday where I went in front of a judge, got charged with aggravated DWI since it was twice over the limit and released with a court date of Nov. 2nd.

Well, wish me luck. I got an attorney and she seems like she knows what she's doing and she'll try her hardest to drop my charge down to standard DWI which is still bad but not as bad but she'll try her hardest

So here I am, back to square 1. All of what I saved and all of what I'm working for will go to this bullshit. FML!! I won't let this bother me. Lesson learned. I know better than to actually drive while drinking and I knew regardless if you're parked with engine on and keys in the ignition and in the drivers seat you're still technically in control of the vehicle. I just didn't plan on falling asleep.

So how ya'll been?

[Kid Presentable]

Real good, jobs good, masters is pretty much finished, exercising and partying like a mad snake, got a great girl, summer's nearly here, heading to a friends wedding in bali soon, going to nz in jan. Things are the best they've been for some time. (y)

[Kid Presentable]

How you guys been? Long time no see. I'm doing, eh, I seem to have this dark cloud that I can't shake off.

So anyhow, you guys know about my divorce, it was declared by both of us that we're over and how I signed the house off to her because I didn't want it and her parents put almost of the money down so it wasn't a loss for me.

I've been living with her off and on and in July, I decided to stop all my going out and kinda stayed living with her permanently. Sleeping in the same bed even. July 8th which was our 8th year anniversary came and even though we signed divorce papers but haven't gone through the court yet, we had a nice dinner, went usual grocery shopping, had drinks and honestly, it was the best anniversary we ever spent together.

I got to thinking maybe I can do this. Maybe we belong. We were doing great till the end of July.

She sat and told me that there was some single male coworker of hers that likes her and she told him that she has a house, she came from China on her own and bought the house all on her own. Really?? I asked she never mentioned my struggle to get her and her parents where they're at?? She said no.

Fucking HUGE stab to my heart. I kept my cool, continued to live with her. Mid August, she goes out on the weekends and doesn't come back for like the whole weekend. I'm sitting at the house bored. I'm like, you know what? Fuck it. I start going out and dating again.

I happen to meet a real fine and nice lady. One night, we ended up having a great time. Explosions, fireworks, scenes from the Naked Gun. That was on a Friday.

On the following Sunday, we were chatting online. Taking about the great time we had. I left the chat window open, went outside to grab something and my ex walked to the computer and saw our chat and exploded.

Telling me that this is what I use HER house for? You chat to fuck other ladies? I told her hey, I tried with you.

She said she's calling the cops. I'm like whatever, go ahead. I'm not doing anything wrong. I took a walk before they came to come back and the gate was locked and I couldn't get in. Next thing I know, my clothes are being tossed over the gate and landing on me. The cops came and asked why are they there and she told them that I was chatting with another lady online in her house and they're like and?

Anyhow, I'm tired of her ways so I took it upon myself and just left. Living in shared apartments with my own room.

I found a real cheap one in an indesirable neighborhood. The owner is good people so I figure I'll just seclude myself in my room, not go anywhere to accumulate enough money to either get a real decent apartment of my own in an awesome neighborhood or jump ship and move to a whole new state and start from scratch.

My goal was the end of October and I had almost reached my goal and this shit happens.

Since all of my electrical equipment, IE, stereo, tv, etc is still at the house till I either jump ship or get my apartment, the only thing in my room is my clothes.

To keep myself entertained, I would go sit in my jeep while it's parked and listen to music just down the street from where I'm staying.

Last Saturday, I do so after having some beers at about 7pm. I don't drink in my Jeep. I'm listening to some music sitting in the driver's seat, engine on to conserve my battery and I doze off.

I wake up to 2 cops outside my window saying they got a call from someone saying there is an unconscious person in a vehicle. I step out, they said I have bloodshot eyes and my breath smells like alcohol and they cuff me up and take me to the station.

They asked if I'll blow in the breathalyzer and I said sure. I blew 2 over the limit. They asked if I would do a field sobriety and I said sure but can I please have my belt because I lost 50lbs, I'm going commando because tomorrow is laundry day and for the sake of not having my Willie pop out and be on camera. They refused. I asked again and they told me no, you aren't having your belt back. I said ok, screw it. I prepared to do the test and they pushed me and said no, you're not taking it.

I was thrown into central booking at around 8:30 pm till 4pm Sunday where I went in front of a judge, got charged with aggravated DWI since it was twice over the limit and released with a court date of Nov. 2nd.

Well, wish me luck. I got an attorney and she seems like she knows what she's doing and she'll try her hardest to drop my charge down to standard DWI which is still bad but not as bad but she'll try her hardest

So here I am, back to square 1. All of what I saved and all of what I'm working for will go to this bullshit. FML!! I won't let this bother me. Lesson learned. I know better than to actually drive while drinking and I knew regardless if you're parked with engine on and keys in the ignition and in the drivers seat you're still technically in control of the vehicle. I just didn't plan on falling asleep.

So how ya'll been?

It's really shit to read that things are going this way for you, eric.

[Lex Diamonds]

This sucks man. But like you said, "FML". It sounds trite but really the best possible thing you can do is go "fuck dat noize" and just get on with it. Deal with whatever it is these pigs are on about throwing at you, cut that bitch out your life and then just do shit you want to do for a while, like buy some $200 kicks, get an Xbox and pick up an oz (that's what I'd want to do anyway). You don't want to get any more weighed down by other people's weirdness anymore is what I'm saying. Let your own weirdness take over and just fucking enjoy it bro. Good luck.

[abbott]

square one can be a beautiful thing.

just make sure you unfriend your old lady on Facebook, so you don't go around bitching about what she does.

Last week on the golf course some recent divorcee was bitching about all the things his x-wife was posting on Facebook, so I was trying to be nice and I said "what are you a dumb ass, why are you looking at her post? Unfriend the bitch already."

That message was for someone else, but maybe a little applies here.

Anyway, I say this is a great time to take a new direction and do something great. Best wishes, and sorry I did not see you in Vegas.

Oh yea, things are going along. I got a new bike.

[abbott]

oh yea..

yesterday, I had to cancel my golf round because I got a call that the receptionist at the front came to work high. Sure enough the tip was right.

This girl is young, attractive but seems to like painkillers. She was in outer space, in her mind. She got sent home and I sat in my office to monitor the rookie that helped out for the day.

broke my hart to see this young, nice girl all fucked up and I had to wounder if some guy is taking care of her or taking advantage of her. Regardless, I told her I needed her on her A game if she wants to work and I told her to come back Monday. I have 2 ladies that saw her on Friday set up to talk with her. I don't want to be part of this shit as all I can do is get sued for being mean. Finally I had a nice older lady drive her home and she ended up staying with her almost all day.

She admitted to the painkiller and gave me some excuse about how her mom is not doing well.

[Guy Incognito]

Hope it all works out Eric

Padster, i thought you'd given up the green?

[Randetica]

my problems feel less dramatic now, thanks

hope you can pull yourself out of this krap soon

[yeahwho]

Sometimes you have to let go of everything you thought you knew, I don't mean forget, I mean let go. It's really great to hear from you though and I'm super happy you're alive.

That shit sitting in the car fucked up listening to tunes... sounds real familiar, sleeping in cars too. I got a physical control once, blew a .23. (I threw my keys in the shrubs when the cop showed up) Got punched in the elevator on the ride up to booking. Then a DWI later in the year, blew a .25.

I have a healthy respect for how powerful and devastating alcohol is... but you know my story, I had serious denial and needed serious help... in my case AA worked. I'm probably being an ass but truly it is in your best interest to try and get sober. Give it a chance and like they told me if at the end of 90 days you don't like being sober you can pick up your pain and misery and go on with your life.

If I were you I would try to go for a deferred prosecution on the DWI. They say it's real intense, but fuck nothing was as intense as my alcoholism. That route saved my life.

And if I sound heavy handed about all of this just tell me to fuck off. I ain't gonna drink over it.

I'm just sayin'... sometimes shit happens for a reason

[YoungRemy]

how can they make a DWI stick if they never saw you driving?

I was thrown in the Tombs once. it's lovely knowing you're spending the night with the Five Boroughs' finest rapists, robbers, and heroin fiends.

[Lex Diamonds]

All I do is weed weed weed no matter what...

[ericlee]

Thanks guys. For real, I really appreciate all the support. You guys have no idea how alone in this world I feel. Paddy, that was powerful and helpful, everyone who wrote gives a good word of advice.

Yeahwho, no, you're not being an ass. Yes I'm in denial. I know I have a problem with it. I do however do not drink during work week. I touch nothing Monday-Friday but once Saturday comes it's on. Especially since I've truly been on my own. I don't want to see another person's face. Hear no noise, I just want to drink till I get to the point of where I forget about everything.

It sounds miserable. Yeah, NY is a hell of a place with lots to do to keep my occupied but I didn't want to be here in the first place. I was forced to live here. I begged and pleaded with my ex for something else and kept getting threatened with divorce. Why did I put up with it? Why did I let her get her way? I'm a nice guy. I have a huge heart. I can put up with a lot of shit. I don't get stressed, I take time in my thinking, I'll weigh options. I let my own judgement get so far that she managed to get a house all under my name and just fucking throw me out into a place where I didn't want to be to begin with while her and her parents live peaceful.

Nobody to blame but me. If I wanted to, instead of being a sucker and sign the whole house off to her, I'd fight for it. I'd try to take as much as I can but you know what? Like I said. I'm a thinker. I weighed the options. I thought about all the court costs, the attorney fees, the long and continuous process of going to court possibly 4 times a month. I'm just a guy who lives paycheck to paycheck. Can I really afford that? No. I'd be just working to pay an attorney and court and I'd be eating hala on a daily basis from a street vendor. I
In all honesty, I really really do not want to be in NY at all anymore. I was actually wanted to go somewhere that I have friends, true friends. This place, every damn day I wake up, just reminds me of her. I cannot stand it anymore. Get all this fucking noise, all these people, get everything the fuck away from me. There was a time when I loved my job. I used to love going to work. I'd be at home bored and couldn't wait to go to work. I'd have a huge grin at work, I deal with thousands of people on a day to say basis. Now when I go to work, I dread it. I keep thinking this is the only job I've had since 2006 when we landed here from Kuwait and I kept this job with all my heart and dedication to get her where she and her family is at.

I'd not even argue any of this if I was an all and out party guy being with her. I'd realize, fuck it. I don't give a crap and just move on. The whole time we were together, she never ever had to worry about where Eric was. Eric went to work and came home. I have made a whole 2 friends outside of work, 1 of them, Bionic and I haven't seen him in ages, he dissapeared. He met her. She came home from work and he was at the apartment where we used to live and she immediatly flipped her lid right in front of him. Telling me oh, you want to bring strangers into our apartment? He said, hey, see ya, I gotta go. Speaking of bionic, I'm worried sick about the guy, he's real good people and I've been trying to call him since 2009, the last time I ever heard of him.

I'm so full of rant and rave. I could let this post go on and on. I have came to the point where I really evaluated my situation and realized that I'm a homeless guy living in NY basically. All I need to do is keep to myself, live cheap, I have a brand new vehicle, brush myself off and save and get out of dodge and then this shit ton of bricks happens where I'm just going to be a slave to this system and stuck with a criminal record and my jeep is sitting in impound and I'm looking at having to pay even more money to get it out, sky high insurance rates, having a breathalyzer installed into it and I'll have to come out of my pocket for it and to keep it I'll have to pay monthly for it. Christ's sakes!! I have a clean record, both criminal and driving. I made sure I follow every law, it's part of my job to inforce laws. And now this. And they really screw you over if you're convicted with DWI.

I don't know. Not even sure if this will work. I'll talk to my attorney about this. I have a lot of good friends of mine with excellent backgrounds that are out of this state that will be more than willing to vouch for me and know everything about my situation that will have an open door for me to start a new life.

One of them happens to be a retired marine. My mom and I let him into our life when he was going through the worst possible things imagined almost as bad as what I'm going through now but as a kid. We sheltered the guy, gave him love and support and this guy went into the marines with a job that he can't even talk about for our country and retired from it.

He will put a boot in my ass. I'm a veteran too, he was of high rank and regardless of whether I've been out of the army longer than 10 years, I respect rank. He'll damn sure make sure that he sees me well and staying with him for no longer than 2 months till I get my own place and working and he knows that I'm dedicated to my job. I met up with him in Iraq in 2004 while we were both on the job. It was a strange but awesome experience.

Who knows. I need some closure so I can continue. I'm not a bad guy. I'll accept that she got what she wanted and roll on. I'll accept my drinking problem and work with it. I'll do what I need to fix it but for god's sake, just not here.

[Lex Diamonds]

Don't just give up the house, bro. That would be a life-changingly bad decision. Even if you don't want to live there, that's (at least) 10's of thousands of dollars that is rightfully yours and will totally transform the next phase of your life, whatever it may be.

[Micodin]

All I do is weed weed weed no matter what...

I've been slowing down my weed intake. Too bad I started around harvest time.

[Micodin]

how can they make a DWI stick if they never saw you driving?

I was thrown in the Tombs once. it's lovely knowing you're spending the night with the Five Boroughs' finest rapists, robbers, and heroin fiends.

That totally makes you a G.

[ericlee]

Don't just give up the house, bro. That would be a life-changingly bad decision. Even if you don't want to live there, that's (at least) 10's of thousands of dollars that is rightfully yours and will totally transform the next phase of your life, whatever it may be.

I hear ya bro but it's a done deal. I already signed off. It's even listed on the Internet as being sold from her and my name to just her name.

I've accepted that its done. I don't honestly care. If I put money into it then yeah, I'd fight for it but I didn't. I like to live a simple life.

When I went to Kuwait, I had 2 duffle bags full of clothes to my name and I was happy. I don't want much from this life. I don't want millions of dollars, actually I do but I'm happy with the very minimal. So signing off a house that I only paid utilities and a quarter of the mortgage while her parents paid the rest for was considerably easy for me to walk away from.

For the first time in 8 years, I feel actually free. I feel I have all kinds of space to be me. I don't have anything weighing me down anymore except for my car note.

[ericlee]

my problems feel less dramatic now, thanks

hope you can pull yourself out of this krap soon

You was thincing you could get away with that one eh?

[abbott]

so I am going to make a run at no drinking.

may not be the best place to post this, but its a fact that drinking brings me down and I am better off without it.

I hope we all move our life's in a forward/better direction

[Dorothy Wood]

Man, I really hope you can clear your record, that's totally unfair. I get that there are laws for a reason, but sitting in your car and not driving it while drunk doesn't seem like it should be a DWI.

I really hope you listen to everybody about your ex too, she really put you through the ringer, nobody deserves that.

[ericlee]

Alright guys. Enough of me sulking about this. I've hung around this MB since 04, it's where I come to vent.

Convert my story into a comedy skit. Lemme ROR over it. Bring it.

[ms.peachy]

Hey Eric. My boss here in Shanghai is Chinese-American dude, ex-Navy. He's married to a white chick. Said the best part of that deal is, no Chinese in-laws. Thought you might appreciate that.

[RobMoney$]

If I put money into it then yeah, I'd fight for it but I didn't.

So signing off a house that I only paid utilities and a quarter of the mortgage while her parents paid the rest for was considerably easy for me to walk away from.

For God's sake,
YOU'RE BEING PLAYED FOR A FOOL ERIC!!!

Yes, you did put money into it. And every dime your wife put into it was earned while you were married, which means you contributed to her earning it.
Any money her parents put into it was a GIFT. They have no legal right to any value of the property whatsoever.
And all the work you did to improve the property is of value also.

It's marital property. You both owned it together. Doesn't matter who paid what. Doesn't matter if she paid 100% of the utilities and mortgage. You are entitled to half the equity, or half the debt if you're underwater on the mortgage (meaning you owe more than the property is worth).

Seems all she really wants is the house.
If it were me, I'd make her either sell it and split the profit with you or make her buy you out of your half. But she'd be out of it, just to screw her over half as much as she's screwing you over.

If you're underwater, which I wouldn't be surprised if you were because I think you guys bought that place before the real estate bubble burst, then RUN away and leave her the house/debt.

And yes, sitting in a car with the keys in the ignition (regardless if the engine is running or not) under the influence is considered DWI. Has been for years. It's common knowledge.

Perhaps this can serve as a cautionary tale to someone.



Keep your head up Eric. Good luck to you, Sir.

[ericlee]

Ok since my laundry is being aired, I'll explain how she got the house.

It started on Sept 11 last year, we were having a discussion about 9/11. I had some drinks, maybe too many, I'll accept it. But she tells me that Americans deserve it, we're cocky and arrogant. She was standing in front of me, I did a hand motion and said get out of my face. That hand motion actually hit her, I didn't mean to. It put a little scratch on her forehead. I'm thinking how the hell can you tell me that. 9/11 is the reason why she's here. If I didn't go to Kuwait and Iraq supporting what happened, she would not be here. Her parents would not be here.

So I got locked up. A DV charge because she called the cops and said I hit her. A little scratch, there's a pic of her smiling with the scratch saved on her moms mobile. I had a full order of protection against me. Nowhere to go. She tells me to come back home she knows I have nowhere to run. I tell her I can't, I'll get in trouble. She convinces me it's going to be ok so I do. I went through all of the court hearings, the order of protection got dropped and we were living happily, kinda. I still had an order of protection but it was dropped down to a limited which means no harrassment but I can still live with her.

In May we happened to have an argument. I took off work because for a year I felt a lump on my chest. I was worried about it so I took off work to go to the doctor. She gets off work, I'm at home, she calls me and asks if I'm home because she is at the train station and needs a ride home. I tell her yeah, I'll pick you up.

I get there, pick her up and she asks me if I worked and I told her no, there's something I need to tell you. I've had a lump in my chest and I was worried so I went to the doctor. She for some reason didn't like that.

We got to the house and had an argument. I didn't hit her. We were just yelling back and forth and she called the cops on me again and she used the limited order of protection for her benefit. So I got locked up again.

I was released the day after and again given a full order of protection. Being I had nowhere to go again and being that I was let into the house the first time, I go back to the house and she tells me, oh, you're breaking your order of protection? Here's what you're going to do. I'm getting an attorney, you're going to sign the house over to me, everything. If you don't agree, I'm calling the cops right now and telling them that you're breaking your order of protection. So, I don't want to be locked up again, I sign the house to her.

Basically black mailed. And now I am stuck suffering over this.

[mikizee]

What an evil fucking bitch. You can't hit a woman, but you can sure as hell pay another woman to hit her.

So do that, or burn the house down. Or both. I suggest both.

[M|X|Y]

pure evil, dude.

[ms.peachy]

Eric man, just get away. Close that chapter of your life, sever all ties and don't look back. Which is not to say 'run away from your problems', just that you have to get free of that whole poisonous environment, the mental and emotional one as well as the physical one. Focus on being at peace with yourself (which I think might be a bit of hard work but it will be worth it).

[ericlee]

Peachy, I tried to get away. The end of October was when I was just going to leave. Go back home where I have friends and family. And this stupid DWI happens and I have to run through hoops now. Now I'm stuck here. The whole time I don't want to be here but to make her happy I stay here.

I wish I could run away so bad but I can't. I'm even to the point where thinking isn't so good and ending myself.

I won't do it though but what do I have to lose? I'm getting further in debt, the court is going to cost me money, I have a truck sitting in impound that I can't drive but I still have to pay, insurance is going to rocket up. This place I'm staying at was supposed to be just temporary, my focus was staying here for a month and scoot. Not now, I'm in a situation where I'm practically homeless. This place is horrible, walking to the store I have to really put my game face on.

How can I escape? I think day by day. There is no escape. I'm just simply stuck.

[Lex Diamonds]

Come on man, that's a ridiculous thing to start thinking. This shit's all mental, bro. If you really wanted to, it would be possible for you to completely wash your hands of all this shit within weeks. It's going to take hard work, but don't even think about how hard it is or what the alternatives are; just fucking get on with it, you know? You'll have time to think about shit later, when you're living your new life.

[ericlee]

I know. I'm stronger than that. I'm just at the ultimate low that I have never experienced ever before.

It would be nice if I had friends and family here. I could have a hand at least but I have nothing. I'm totally alone.

To top things off, when I go and come home from work, the walk is like a gauntlet. I carry a knife with me, they test you and I'm just waiting for that day when someone jumps me.

I can't move to another place, it costs too much, a downpayment of 1 month an a security deposit, all of which I don't have.

I don't deserve this. I'm not w bad guy, this shit needs to happen to scumbags, not me.

[M|X|Y]

im wih these guys, but i also think its important to learn the lessons you really NEED to learn here so that you will NEVER put yourself in this situation again.


i say this in the friendliest way possible - good guy or not, you may need to change. bad things happen to good people all the time.

[Kid Presentable]

Eric. Don't kill yourself over a fucking woman.

None of them will ever be worth it, man.

You have to see yourself as a prize, firstly for yourself, and then down the line for the next bish. And there will be a next bish.

From the sounds of the situation, yeah, you're stuck. But you got away once before and couldn't make it stick, so that's gotta be fucking you up as much as the actual scenario itself.

Sounds to me like an opportunity for learning. Small consolation, yeah?

And yeah you'll definitely have to be patient. But being patient in a shitty situation with your one time best friend and lover fucking up your program still pales in comparison to some of the actual bullshit people have to go through. Always remember that.

So in short, I hate to be that guy, but man up. Accept that you're fucked in the short term (and accept that parts of it are your fault) and set about laying the foundations for a meaningful, positive path forward. It's all on you to do that bro, and the first step is just being patient.

Figure shit out, don't flit. Don't react, plan.

[ericlee]

Bro, this whole fact of me being black mailed. I wouldn't be in this spot if it wasn't because of that.

Literally nothing I could do about it. I was also illegally evicted. I'm a dumbass. I should have just stayed there. I wasn't in a situation financially that I could leave and start fresh. I was just so tired of her calling the cops on me every other day that I left.

I'm just tired. As the days pass they aren't getting better. Yes I know it's all about patience. I'm not going to fucking kill myself but shit, this is hell. Pure hell.

[Kid Presentable]

Could always be worse, breh. You've got to disarm negative thoughts, because they'll be all you're having.

[ms.peachy]

I feel for ya man. It's shitty. It's a huge amount of pressure to be under and I'm sure you're damn near on the verge of an ulcer if you haven't got one already. And I get that it feels like it will never end. But it will. Not all at once but one by one things will start to recede. Persevere. There is more out there in the world for you when you get past this. You are not trapped, only temporarily detained.

Do you have a religion at all? I'm a pretty hardcore atheist so I'm not suggesting that hey, go out and find Jesus and everything will be beautiful, but there are some pretty nice ministers/rabbis/imams whatever out there who are actually pretty chill people who are good listeners, plus houses of worship can be nice peaceful places to just sit an try to unwind your mind for a little while. And free. And sometimes they have nice biscuits.

[Tam_Tam]

This is going to seem really hardcore, but fuck her. For real, fuck her for making you feel that you are less than worthy. I know it's been said a million times before, but this will pass dude. It will. I promise. I can't say it's gonna be better next week or even next year. You've got to do you're part by acknowledging and accepting responsibility for your part and battle this shit out. But I swear, it will pass.

Don't give her the satisfaction of you giving up. Wait until the storm (literal and figurative) passes. Then tell her what to go do with herself. Not to be redundant, but fuck her.

[yeahwho]

Get your ass in a AA meeting. Go to one ASAP. You can stop digging your hole anytime you want to. Fuck maybe you aren't an alcoholic but my gut feeling is you need to hear about how to deal with life's bottoms and what other people have done to change the shit they were in.

It took a lot of humility for me to admit I was all fucked up mentally, physically and spiritually. I'm not talking religion or any of that shit, church is for saving your soul, AA will save your ass.

Don't fucking make me fly out there. Anonymously show up at a meeting, sit down, shut up and listen. Go now.

[Micodin]

Fuck maybe you aren't an alcoholic but my gut feeling is you need to hear about how to deal with life's bottoms and what other people have done to change the shit they were in.

Good words and advice.

Life is a motherfucker (I know personally) but you can make it better with the positive vibes you let yourself have and give off.

All of this might sound cleche and corny. But it's truth.

Only you can make this shitty situation turn around.

And you have complete strangers that you've never met before on a message board rooting for you. Some cats don't even have that.

Just do you.

[Guy Incognito]

Get your ass in a AA meeting. Go to one ASAP. You can stop digging your hole anytime you want to. Fuck maybe you aren't an alcoholic but my gut feeling is you need to hear about how to deal with life's bottoms and what other people have done to change the shit they were in.



Don't fucking make me fly out there. Anonymously show up at a meeting, sit down, shut up and listen. Go now.

well said

i had a dark dark spell thinking similar thoughts a few years back and i sorta cringe at it now and feel stupid that i ever thought about it and the reasons i had for maybe wanting to do that. I'm not belittling eric's situation, it sounds like some heavy shit but you just have to take the shit and come out of the other side, you'll be better for it. I feel proud of myself that i have gotten out of some pretty dark mindsets and bad situations and you have to take strength from that and that will help you in the future

[Documad]

You're in a bad place now, but you have a lot going for you. For one thing, you're getting out of your marriage without a kid -- so you can really disconnect from your ex if you want to. You really need to close the door on her. I have a feeling that she's going to keep trying to poke at you, call you when she wants help or wants to feel good about herself or whatever. You have to cut that off for good because she clearly knows how to push your buttons.

I think it would be a good idea for you to get in some CD program, whether AA or other. I assume you're going to have to do it as part of the criminal stuff anyhow, but it would be good if you really try to throw yourself into it. Even if you don't think you really need it, you might find some kind of support helpful. It's not good for you to be sitting at home at twice the legal limit ever, even if you never get near a car.

I really wish you the best. You have a lot on the ball. You're articulate and a hard worker and if you cut this poisonous relationship out of your life you can move forward. It might take some time to get on your feet but you have the time, and the talent.

(for some of the others who posted in the thread -- Yes, it's a DUI even if you're drunk and sitting in a car and don't plan on driving -- it's not about what you just did, it's about what you could do if you tried. It's probably a DUI even if the engine is off, you are sitting in the backseat, stuck in a snowbank, and threw the keys out the window.)

[checkyourprez]

i could tell from early on this chick was a skeezer. a similar scenario happened to a buddy of mine in ohio. engaged to some crazy chinese chick, luckily they didnt end up getting married. but hoes gone be hoes man, so fuck it. you cant do anything about her crazy ass so dont worry about it. she obviously sucks.



but yo, your at the bottom. there is no going lower. there is only one way to go. that is up. dont look at all of what you have to do to get back to where you want to. just look at the little things you can control at this moment in time.

accomplish them, and go from there. its not much at first but its the only way to get anywhere in life. little by little. keep at it and eventually youll get where you want to be.

[ericlee]

Well, one thing put a grin on my face. I'm so sorry for all my old neighbors and their losses but this recent disaster happened to flood the shit out of Howard Beach where she proudly owns her house from all her hard work and accomplishments. I've been watching YouTube vids and I see some of the filming is done on her street. Woah.

We spent 85k rennovating the basement because of measly little Irene which only put about 5" of water in the basement. Well, with Sandy, there's probably at least 5' of water down there. So, she's still paying off the rennovations from last year and hmmm, how is she going to pull this one off?

Not my problem. Hope she enjoys her new home. :)

[M|X|Y]

i hate to revel in another's misfortune, and it really REALLY sucks for everyone, but.... ;)

my heart goes out to all the good people affected.

keep yer chin up, kid. try to get a handle on your stuff and stay positive.

it will be hard but do your best and the universe will take care of you, eric (y)

[Kid Presentable]

Keep keepin on eric

[checkyourprez]

Well, one thing put a grin on my face. I'm so sorry for all my old neighbors and their losses but this recent disaster happened to flood the shit out of Howard Beach where she proudly owns her house from all her hard work and accomplishments. I've been watching YouTube vids and I see some of the filming is done on her street. Woah.

We spent 85k rennovating the basement because of measly little Irene which only put about 5" of water in the basement. Well, with Sandy, there's probably at least 5' of water down there. So, she's still paying off the rennovations from last year and hmmm, how is she going to pull this one off?

Not my problem. Hope she enjoys her new home. :)


thats karma dog.

now just keep on keeping on an accumulate that good shit.

[ericlee]

It's confirmed. I sent her an email asking how things were. She said the water completely filled up her basement and all the way up to the first floor and that she lost everything and if she would have waited 10 minutes longer instead of leaving when she did, she would have died.

My feelings weren't so happy then and I started feeling sorry and offered any help I could along with all of the supportive words I could for her.

She replies back with "don't forget to cancel my old phone line, thanks."

Nah, fuck that cunt. She should've waited 10 mins longer and her parents should have been with her too.

Thanks guys, I'm gonna keep keepin' on.

[checkyourprez]

i would advise to really just cut off all contact with her from now on. you seem to have a big heart and a willingness to help. but with her man shes already fucked you over several times, you shouldn't put yourself in a position to help someone out who does things like that to you.

just worry about big upping yourself right now.

[ericlee]

I'm happy I have my job. I was stuck in the apartment from Monday to wedensday with no power and at Thursday the busses were running so I went to work.

Been working doubles Thursday and Friday and worked Saturday 11am-11pm and doing the same thing tonight.

In a situation though. The train going to the apartment isn't running at all. There's still no power in the apartment or the whole far rockaway. Looting and robberies are happening so the bus drivers refuse to drive after 5 pm.

I'm in the same uniform I was in since Thursday. I can't swing a hotel. Fuckin hahaha!!! I can manage it. I'm a tough character.

[RobMoney$]

The greatest revenge of all is happiness. Nothing drives someone who's done you wrong crazier than seeing you happy. And you will find happiness one day and look back on all this shit and be a stronger person for having survived it. I've been there dude.

But you've got to stop thinking it'll EVER work with this one.
EVER.

[ericlee]

For the last week I've been seriously thinking of being spiritual. I have even been considering taking a religion and I have Buddhist in mind. I read a little from a bible and there's interesting things in it, I even wrote a song titled Mahasattva about a monk who sacrificed himself to feed a tigress and her five starving cubs.

The shit I'm going through, it's difficult going solo about this. I think I have neglected myself long enough. I always believed there is a higher being but I never accepted a religion because when my dad was going off the deep end, he would tell people that he's Paul the Apostle. He scared the crap outta me.

These past couple of days and during the hurricane I accepted a god into my life, I opened doors to someone and I felt uplifted a bit actually. I'm not going full on bible thumper but it actually put me in a better state than I have been feeling.

[abbott]

I am taking a class on the book of Romans written by Paul. The class is 7am and about 12 people show up, its me an old guy with 11 other really old guys.

I see it is a history lesson, and I always walk away thankful I went. I wounder why these old guys want to hang out with me, but its not about me.

Anyway it helps me in many ways, one being I have to settle down on Tuesday night so I can make it.

I have accepted in my mind that there is a supreme architect of the universe, but I had that experience when I was 20 or younger.

Anyway, getting together with people that want to improve their life and study is great regardless what you believe about God, wish you the best.

[LongDuckDong]

My feelings weren't so happy then and I started feeling sorry and offered any help I could along with all of the supportive words I could for her.

You will be back with her before the end of the year. Please stop wasting our time.

[Helvete]

Can't you get back on the circuit? I know you said ages ago that you'd had calls to go back to Iraq but decided not to because you were a family man and all that. Seems like the perfect thing, earn some alright money, get away for some time, work will take your mind off all the shit and when you come back, you can truly have a fresh start?

I know you can keep your head up and get through this, it's what we do, isn't it?

[checkyourprez]

Can't you get back on the circuit? I know you said ages ago that you'd had calls to go back to Iraq but decided not to because you were a family man and all that. Seems like the perfect thing, earn some alright money, get away for some time, work will take your mind off all the shit and when you come back, you can truly have a fresh start?

I know you can keep your head up and get through this, it's what we do, isn't it?

deece idea actually. specially with the wars ending.... go to like hawaii or some shit u know.

[RobMoney$]

we were having a discussion about 9/11. I had some drinks, maybe too many, I'll accept it. But she tells me that Americans deserve it, we're cocky and arrogant.

I don't know why dude, but while having a million other things racing around in my mind today, this sentence popped in my head and really offended me.

Americans are arrogant?

Please tell her I said she is free to move back to whatever corner of the world you found her in.

[Bob]

You will be back with her before the end of the year. Please stop wasting our time.

shut up

[ericlee]

Well I got a place to live in kickass Greenpoint Brooklyn. My mindset is working overtime and it's really showing on my paychecks. 2012 has been a cocksucker of a year for me but I'm seeing the light as the year ends.

Nothing wrong with some harmless venting on the innarwebs. I had to vent it somehow. Maybe I was going through "you're perfect yes it's true, without meee you're only you." But hey, it's a reality check I needed. I saw myself getting too complacent. It's just time to kickass and make this new year coming up a less regretful one.

[Lex Diamonds]

Make this year your bitch.

Last year was the Chinese Year of the Bitch.

This year is the American Year of the Badass.