the 90 day rule

[ericlee]

Hey hey ya'll happy new year to you!

I met a lady, a mature and awesome and very responsible woman. She has her shit together, awesome job, owns a condo, has a degree, goes to the gym on the regular and for once I feel comfortable with her. I started talking to her on Nov 22nd, had a few dates and I slept over at her place last weekend from Fri-Mon.

We slept in the same bed, got intimate but no P in the V. She told me she has this rule, no intercourse until after 90 days. Reason being is that she's tired of players and usually people start showing their true self towards each other after 90 days. She will fulfill my needs but just no sex yet.

I dunno, I'm thinking of taking the challenge. She's 4 years older than me and I have never had a mature woman like her before. Do you think this is a stupid rule?

[yeahwho]

Sure that sounds like a lot of fun. Laying there not getting a lay. Wait, where you s'pose to put all the S juice?

[ericlee]

The s juice goes in a kleenex. I don't mind this. Every single lady I have been with put out within a day or two. Trust me though, I will work hard on getting it but if she wants to stick to her rule I'll respect it.

[abbott]

Wait 92 days before you make up your mind.

[cosmo105]

Personally, I think that's a dumb rule. Waiting too long for intimacy puts too much pressure on the act and when it happens you could freak out and accidentally spooge on her pillow shams or her dog or something and then everything is screwed. Of course, on the other hand, some people do go into it right away just because that's all they want and then someone might get hurt. I completely understand that getting played sucks - we've all been there - but 90 days is such an arbitrary number.

Couple of personal experiences: one guy that I really really liked, and he seemed to really really like me, and I moved too fast and after a couple weeks of dodged calls he finally admitted that the fact that it went like that made him lose that initial interest. I was heartbroken! I felt like such an idiot! But after a I while realized that he was the douche that made the moves on me and it was his problem that he saw me differently afterward just because I was into it too. I'm a living breathing human with NEEDS, yo, and if I'm in the mood with someone that I like I'm going to go for it. Ain't my problem if you aren't mature enough to handle that. It did teach me, though, that if I'm actually looking for a relationship with someone, it's sometimes best to hold off on giving up the goods quickly until I'm aware of their feelings and intentions, and sure that we're on the same page whether casual or serious. I was relatively new to dating and this single brief relationship taught me a lot that I definitely saw hold up over time.

Cut to several months later, and a new guy that I really really liked asked me out after we hung out as a group. I hesitantly said yes because I wasn't sure if I wanted to date him since he was friends with my friend blah blah. Two nights later we all hung out in a group again. He ended up staying over at my place that night and I figured it would just be a fling since I wasn't interested in a relationship, though I could tell he liked me too. Now we're married.

Anyway, moral of the story is that I think that rules in general are dumb and every relationship or dating story should be approached differently because every person is different. If you think she's worth it for sure respect the rule, but remember sexual intimacy is a HUGE part of compatibility that people should NOT ignore and if you build up too much pressure before it happens that thing is gonna burst in a bad way if you catch my gross drift.

[Adam]

I think I agree with cosmos on this. Is she such a terrible judge of character that she has to wait? Now that you know this 90 day rule you could easily keep the long con up that long (if you was that way inclined - I'm not saying you are).

It would be cool if you hung out for 120 days or whatever and didn't do it because one or both of you wasn't ready for whatever reason but now you've marked the 22nd February in the calendar (and so have I) which will make a it a big deal when it (and both of you) comes.

Unless you think it's totally worth it I would politely tell her that until you have your shit together and worked through whatever issues you have that bought this rule on then we should stop hanging out. Someone who sets up those sort of rules aren't going to be very in the moment with all aspects of life - they'll be no last minute trips to Vegas or NYC without meticulous planning.

[Helvete]

I'm pretty against having set 'rules' or whatever. I'm very much a 'it'll happen when it's right' kind of person. Still, I've waited a while before with girls without too much bother so hey, if you like her, whatever.

[ericlee]

I'm pretty certain she'll cave in. She even told me it was extremely hard to contain herself over the past weekend.

I don't want to rush things. I am however tired of the dating game and am ready to find someone to be sincere with and she's definitely that type. We have much in common and she's been married before as well.

Trust me, its one of the biggest challenges in my life because for one, she is so freaking sexy. But to Adam, why should I tell her to scoot because she didn't put out? Maybe I'll just regret it, keep digging and find nothing. I'm very cautious too so I can't blame her for having standards. I was once dumped because I didn't put out after a month and I felt pretty horrible.

We've decided that I'm staying over every weekend. It's bound to happen.

[Kid Presentable]

(y)

[M|X|Y]

whoa man! how did you meet and get to spending the weekend? what's her man history?

stay slick

[ericlee]

whoa man! how did you meet and get to spending the weekend? what's her man history?

stay slick

I met her at a nice and chill wine bar. She was with her friends. Her sexiness for the main brought my attention and her attitude was the other. She seemed so giddy and joyful to be around.

We had a few dates after, really started clicking and she told me she really likes me but she's being very cautious.

Man history? Hence the reason she's being cautious. Too many fuck and dumps. People with all the right words, she caved in and they disappear. She's a fully grown lady and knows what she wants and it isn't casual sex.

[hpdrifter]

Agree 100% with cosmo.


Couple of personal experiences: one guy that I really really liked, and he seemed to really really like me, and I moved too fast and after a couple weeks of dodged calls he finally admitted that the fact that it went like that made him lose that initial interest. I was heartbroken! I felt like such an idiot! But after a I while realized that he was the douche that made the moves on me and it was his problem that he saw me differently afterward just because I was into it too. I'm a living breathing human with NEEDS, yo, and if I'm in the mood with someone that I like I'm going to go for it. Ain't my problem if you aren't mature enough to handle that.

So glad you realized the problem is his. Supermax doucher with a complex, this one.

Cut to several months later, and a new guy that I really really liked asked me out after we hung out as a group. I hesitantly said yes because I wasn't sure if I wanted to date him since he was friends with my friend blah blah. Two nights later we all hung out in a group again. He ended up staying over at my place that night and I figured it would just be a fling since I wasn't interested in a relationship, though I could tell he liked me too. Now we're married.

<3 <3 <3

[M|X|Y]

Agree 100% with cosmo.



So glad you realized the problem is his. Supermax doucher with a complex, this one.



<3 <3 <3


ladies do that too. dumb people are douches.

[Dorothy Wood]

I agree that rules are dumb. I mean, I see why they're made, but it seems kinda goofy to have to set parameters when you're an adult.

It sounds like you guys like each other though, and I bet it'll happen when you both want it to happen, 90 days or not.

[Echewta]

Negotiate. Just like they do on Pawn Stars. Tell her you'll wait 30 days. She'll come down to 80 but stick with numbers in the 30s. You'll probably get her to 40 days.

If she doesn't want to negotiate, bring in an expert you know to talk about your junk being authentic and of the highest quality. That most likely at aucttion, you could probably get 20 days, maybe even 15 if the market is right.

http://stylreesta.files.wordpress.com/2011/07/two-cents.jpg

[M|X|Y]

dude... http://www.androticsdirect.com/product.php?productid=16

[Adam]

But to Adam, why should I tell her to scoot because she didn't put out?

Didn't mean that. I just mean making such rules up means she is probably got some other issues she needs to address first.

[Helvete]

Truth is, girls with those rules love the dick but don't want to admit it. When Eric finally cracks her, she won't b able to get enough.

[checkyourprez]

maybe she has the herp and wants to get you to know her and like her enough to be invested in her a little before she tells you.


:confused:

[pshabi]

Truth is, girls with those rules love the dick but don't want to admit it. When Eric finally cracks her, she won't b able to get enough.

maybe she has the herp and wants to get you to know her and like her enough to be invested in her a little before she tells you.


:confused:

First statement is about 99% probable. #2 is 50/50 IMO.

[checkyourprez]

i hope for erics sake its the first haha. but it is a legit possibility.

[RobMoney$]

Just remember RobMoney's #1 rule of dating, The crazy ones are always the best fucks.


Happy Hunting!

[ms.peachy]

I'm not big on rules either but this doesn't sound like such a big deal to me. It's 3 months and you're halfway there already for god's sake. Plus I think it could be kind of fun, seeing how close you can get without actually 'doing it'. Get creative. I think what she really wants is to be wooed and impressed.

[hpdrifter]

I'm not big on rules either but this doesn't sound like such a big deal to me. It's 3 months and you're halfway there already for god's sake. Plus I think it could be kind of fun, seeing how close you can get without actually 'doing it'. Get creative. I think what she really wants is to be wooed and impressed.

Agreed.

Also, maybe she just wants to make the most of this exciting time. You only get one first time with someone new and special, maybe she just wants to enjoy the build up a little more.

[ericlee]

She doesn't have the herpes. She's a very clean and even has these OCD'S about her that makes her so more attractive.

You know the thing that appreciated me the most the past weekend? I got to watch her cook, I helped her clean, helped her while she cooked. I was caressing her while she made her dishes, little smooches on her cheeks, washing her dishes while she did her routine.

She's very unlike me. She cooks a mass meal in prep for her work week on a Sunday. That way she can pack her lunches for the rest of the week. Me? I'm lazy, I buy my lunches and dinners during my work week.

I have someone who I really appreciate. She really appreciates me. She is even watching some series that are important to me. She even listened to my music when I told her the recordings were prototype.

[Echewta]

Have you introduced the flaming trash can yet into the relationship?

[Yeti]

You know the thing that appreciated me the most the past weekend? I got to watch her cook, I helped her clean, helped her while she cooked. I was caressing her while she made her dishes, little smooches on her cheeks, washing her dishes while she did her routine.


I just got creeped out. Ha!

[Dorothy Wood]

I just got creeped out. Ha!

haha, aww. I thought that part was cute!

[cosmo105]

Have you introduced the flaming trash can yet into the relationship?

dude, 120 days!

[Echewta]

dude, 120 days!

Ah! Thats right. My bad.

[Bitchamachacha]

I think this is kind of genius. Is it a bit long? Yeah. It cannot be easy for her. I'd be going nuts, too. But I like this because I have been her- I've been the girl who's jumped the gun too soon to realize Mr. 3rd or 4th date is an ass. She may have been hurt REALLY badly by someone, which may be why 120 days is her magic number.

Cosmo is right- it's a long time. If you have one date a week, that's 12 dates. If not gah! Holy sexual tension!

I go with 6-7 dates, because by then I will have learned some of the guy's quirks and he will know mine. That's enough dates to know if it's all a facade or not. And if a guy can't hang that long (most players can't get past the 2nd date), then I know what he's all about.

Also, this gives you enough time to get to know each other and if it's all swell, really dig each other without the bedroom playing as a sexy veil.

Look her dead in the eye and tell her how you honestly feel, maybe mention being exclusive without the pressure of the words "boyfriend and girlfriend". And though girls do like being told their pretty, focus more on complementing her personality. She'll figure out you do care and aren't a predator. Then maybe she WILL cave for sure, and you two can get past this craziness and take the next step, which can be far greater than sex sometimes. Okay not better, but on a different level. :)

[M|X|Y]

i say take this as the situation forcing you to not go for the rebound, take your time and assess about what you really think of her, booty aside

maybe you should let the 90 days expire and not try to get in her pants immediately. how will she react?

[ericlee]

So I went down town. Made her go crazy and shiver out of control and was told nobody has ever done that the way I do. I felt as mission accomplished. This in general holds a great deal of importance to me.

She keeps me satisfied without us having to fuck. This is very interesting and we are beginning to like each other the more we see each other. This is starting off so awesome.

I do in fact appreciate this concept because our feelings are growing for each other and I would like the idea of having sex with a person I actually have strong feelings for.

[yeahwho]

I'm unable to do what you are doing. I would of given up last week. But it is kind of interesting hearing about being denied entrance to the full party. I bet porn is forbidden. Or is it?

My ADHD would of destroyed this relationship probably during our first date. You have a complete different viewpoint than I do. And probably complete different first impressions. I could learn from you, but I doubt I could do what your doing.

I know you said this once but I'll ask again, you're actually living together sleeping in the same bed?

[ericlee]

Porn isn't mentioned. I wonder if she watches it now. I do here and there. If she asks I'll tell her.

No we aren't living together. It has been brought up by her that if I need a place to stay she'll offer because I was still displaced from sandy when I first met her. But I think moving in will ruin things so its best to take our time with that. I'm pretty content how I'm living and I'm sure she is as well.

[yeahwho]

Alright then stud, I thought for some reason you were actually living together. You'll be "in" in a week or two, unless you really enjoy not going "in".

I would of brought up the test fit of practice stroke or the only halfway or the "it's one or the other which one do I put it in" line.

Go ahead feel free to use those.

[yeahwho]

Take up pottery (http://images.smh.com.au/2011/08/31/2594879/Ghost_729-420x0.jpg), Whack a Mole (http://www.nathanbeaver.com/blog/wp-content/uploads/2011/07/whack_a_mole1.jpg), Trombone (http://www.zmuc.dk/entoweb/per/anim/trombone.gif)...

[Dorothy Wood]

Jesus, is penetration really that important??? yeahwho, you would really ditch a girl for not putting out? women are people you know, not just vaginas. There's like a bunch of other ways to experience intimate pleasure, duh.

In my experience, the fucking just gets better as time goes on. I mean, if you communicate with each other. There's a lot to learn, every crotch is different. Today's society loves to externalize sexuality so much, it's so shamed based and sad to me. Instead of focusing on the feeling, people just add more and more external accoutrements and narratives. But, whatever, I'm not really in the mood to get deep into this topic right now. ha.

Anyway, I'm glad Eric met a nice lady. :)

[yeahwho]

Jesus, is penetration really that important??? yeahwho, you would really ditch a girl for not putting out? women are people you know, not just vaginas. There's like a bunch of other ways to experience intimate pleasure, duh.

In my experience, the fucking just gets better as time goes on. I mean, if you communicate with each other. There's a lot to learn, every crotch is different. Today's society loves to externalize sexuality so much, it's so shamed based and sad to me. Instead of focusing on the feeling, people just add more and more external accoutrements and narratives. But, whatever, I'm not really in the mood to get deep into this topic right now. ha.

Anyway, I'm glad Eric met a nice lady. :)

Just busting balls and trying to get a few laughs. You know like when a dude asks you about a 90 day rule. On the Internet. In a hip hop forum. I would expect a few humorous replies myself.

I'm completely happy for Eric.

I wasn't in attack mode. But since you've accused me of something I generally was trying to portray as funny I feel like my sense of humor is perhaps too crude and I apologize.

But I know my apology is half ass because I still see no one getting hurt and at least in my mind the penetration jokes are just that, jokes. But if Eric is hurt I apologize.

This forum just seems so fucking weak and mopey at times I figure screw it jump in and raise some shit no matter what.

[ms.peachy]

Sounds like you've got a nice thing going on Eric. I'm glad you're able to relax and enjoy it.

[M|X|Y]

eric what would you do if she told you she still wasnt ready after the 90 days?

[ericlee]

Yeahwho, your humor is appreciated, I picked up on it, no worries.

If she says she's not ready after 90 days? I'm freaking dumping her. I forgot what a vagina feels like. The last one I felt was in August.

But I highly and honestly doubt she'll not give it to me after the time is up.

[Dorothy Wood]

Just busting balls and trying to get a few laughs. You know like when a dude asks you about a 90 day rule. On the Internet. In a hip hop forum. I would expect a few humorous replies myself.

I'm completely happy for Eric.

I wasn't in attack mode. But since you've accused me of something I generally was trying to portray as funny I feel like my sense of humor is perhaps too crude and I apologize.

But I know my apology is half ass because I still see no one getting hurt and at least in my mind the penetration jokes are just that, jokes. But if Eric is hurt I apologize.

This forum just seems so fucking weak and mopey at times I figure screw it jump in and raise some shit no matter what.

Ah, the old "it's just the Internet" excuse. Honestly I think you mistook my tone. I wasn't that upset or anything. If I were being completely serious I wouldn't have used the word "duh". I was in fact just asking if you were serious about your comments, not because I thought you were upsetting Eric, but because your jokes were kinda rapey. And I got creeped out and called you out. Do I think you are a rapist and/or condone rape? No, but joking about circumventing consent is gross.

[yeahwho]

Ah, the old "it's just the Internet" excuse. Honestly I think you mistook my tone. I wasn't that upset or anything. If I were being completely serious I wouldn't have used the word "duh". I was in fact just asking if you were serious about your comments, not because I thought you were upsetting Eric, but because your jokes were kinda rapey. And I got creeped out and called you out. Do I think you are a rapist and/or condone rape? No, but joking about circumventing consent is gross.

I'm not going to be the recipient or give any verification to this. You seem to be a very pleasant person and usually very spot on. But WTF?

[Dorothy Wood]

I would of brought up the test fit of practice stroke or the only halfway or the "it's one or the other which one do I put it in" line.

Go ahead feel free to use those.


That right there is the rapey part, that's all I'm saying. She doesn't want to have sex, and you're offering to help him figure out how to sneak in. It's a sketch thing to say. In what world is that not a sketchy thing to say?

[yeahwho]

Sketchy?


WTF!


Are you going to continue to condone me over what I already apologized for?


I cannot delete it. I can and did apologize.


Shun Away. Do you think I should hang my head in humiliation or bow before you? Fucks sake it's already very apparent I'm not a professional writer and as "hip" as you but for crying out loud you say in one hand you know I'm not a bad person then in the next breath you say I'm a fucking perv.

Which is it?

[Bob]

That right there is the rapey part, that's all I'm saying. She doesn't want to have sex, and you're offering to help him figure out how to sneak in. It's a sketch thing to say. In what world is that not a sketchy thing to say?

i don't think he was serious

[Dorothy Wood]

Dudes, calm down. I'm not calling you a rapist, I know that you're joking! I have already stated that. That doesn't mean I can't think the joke is gross! Geez louise!

[Bob]

i just don't want yeahwho getting toshed here that's all

[ms.peachy]

Everybody, go take a valium, please.

[Bob]

i was calm until you told me to be calm. now i'm less calm :/

[M|X|Y]

appropriate (https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rAD-ky3TYQk)

[yeahwho]

i just don't want yeahwho getting toshed here that's all
I was trying to figure out what getting toshed meant so I went to the Urban Dictionary, (http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=toshed)

Definition 3.

When you have have an old man rub his naked genitial on your bare naked back while laying down.
I was just watching Tosh.0 and seen an old man naked on top of Tosh (while laying naked on his belly) rubbing his genitalia on Tosh's body. Yep, Tosh just got Toshed!

That is totally appropriate for the 90 day rule thread.

[yeahwho]

I don't want to "Get Toshed"

[Dorothy Wood]

So I'm the jerk here...? I see. Funny how yeahwho is allowed to bust balls, yet I'm not. Well I'm sorry I upset everyone by expressing my opinion.

[Bob]

i think that nobody was being initially serious about anything, except nobody realized it so we all took everything seriously and now it's all weird and shit. perhaps forgetting about all of it would be the best way to go at this point

eric, how many days left until you can penetrate your lady?

[ms.peachy]

Seriously people. VALIUM. Now.

[Dorothy Wood]

But I don't have a prescription!

[ericlee]

i think that nobody was being initially serious about anything, except nobody realized it so we all took everything seriously and now it's all weird and shit. perhaps forgetting about all of it would be the best way to go at this point

eric, how many days left until you can penetrate your lady?

Feb 22 is the projected date. And golly gee! What has my thread become?

[M|X|Y]

drugs are not the answer, peachy!

dorothy... you're not bad! but "rapey" is kind of a harsh and misandric way characterize what he said - he was clearly joking.
.
.

[yeahwho]

I screwed up by making light of of your situation, I'm not funny.

I can't take valium.

But I can avoid this forum and let you people have a conversation without being a cock. It would be the best course of action. Recently it was pointed out to me that I have 0 personal information outside of stuff I tell you guys and I feel kind of like a lurker at this point.

Politics, the environment and music are what I'm interested in and this sight has been incredible in those areas until recently.

The political section is dead.

Music has sort of dwindled and the Climate Change that has been debated is here, universally agreed that humans have been major players in their own demise. Can we change, I don't know.

Can I change? Yes! I can change! Ultimately I have a very positive disposition and I want the world I live in to be awesome.

And I want your world to be awesome too. So buck up dudes, I'm gonna miss chatting with you all on this crazy ride called life.

And hey! You two remaining Beastie Boys, Yauch never rested on his laurels, I too have been party to some very tragic deaths in my own life... a period of grace can sometimes turn into a period of inaction, love and honor require action.

Peace and Love, Dave

Really not trying to be a martyr, just saying bye with a little information and parting words. :D

[hpdrifter]

Wait... What?

[Randetica]

Feb 22 is the projected date. And golly gee! What has my thread become?

yeah srsly, it turned from no meat into beef

[Dorothy Wood]

If I'm supposed to apologize or something now, I'm not going to. I've just learned that rape culture is so insidiously glorified that even a progressive person like yeahwho can make a joke about "it's gonna be one hole or the other", and when I yell, "gross!", somehow that turns into me being perceived as a bully.

Yeahwho/Dave, I only kept going and clarifying because you apologized and then admitted it was a half-ass apology because you didn't think what you said was wrong. So I tried to pin point the phrases that irked me. And said "how is that not a sketchy thing to say?" Because really, how is "it's one or the other" not sketchy or rapey? I'm honestly asking, because it made me feel sick. And so I said something.

And then instead of saying, "yeah, that's kinda gross, I didn't really mean it." you were like, "fuck you hipster! what do you want from me?!"

And by the way, you're the only one being defended here, you see that right? I'm getting told the same old lines that women get told when they speak up: calm down, lighten up, it's just a joke, etc.

(I'm sure plenty of people are rolling their eyes pretty hard right now too, but whatever, I know I'm not that likable.)

Anyway, Yeahwho, you are a nice person, everyone likes you and appreciates your comments, you shouldn't leave just because of this.

[M|X|Y]

dang, blew up fast :confused:

[M|X|Y]

people like both of you, sheez

[hpdrifter]

yeahwho, I sent you a couple of PMs which I hope you eventually see.

I have appreciated your perspective as I work through this thing with my ex-husband and your presence here has brought me some peace over the years, however weird that sounds for this being a hip hop forum on the internet and you being someone I have never met. I don't care. I would hate to lose that.

[hpdrifter]

yeah srsly, it turned from no meat into beef

Even though I'm sad right now this made me LOL.

[Dorothy Wood]

people like both of you, sheez

I know I just meant sometimes I am irritating. The thing is, if this were a conversation in real life, it would've been resolved in two minutes. In real life I speak my mind to my male friends when I think they're being offensive and we argue and resolve it and the friendship remains intact. I use way harsher language too. I've literally had a panic attack in front of a room of people because I was so offended by scene someone in my writing class wrote. I was trying to critique it and just started crying. But whatever, me and that kid are totally buds now.

So I'm fine, I just get fired up about stuff.

[abbott]

please don't go. wait 90 days first and make sure its a good idea.

Ill go to the political discussion and try to make some shit up, or I will start a new bible lesson thread.

or maybe if you'll stay, ill go?

Trust me when I say this this board needs you.

Shit if you come back and I go, ill actually still be coming in and reading without posting. Plus, I want to hear about the wedding plans.

Finally, I am not even sure what you are apologizing for?

[hpdrifter]

Does anyone have yeahwho's email address? I had it once a long time ago but I can't access it anymore and now his PM box is full.

Sigh, I kinda thought he'd come back, at least to lurk at the aftermath.

[Documad]

Does anyone have yeahwho's email address? I had it once a long time ago but I can't access it anymore and now his PM box is full.

Sigh, I kinda thought he'd come back, at least to lurk at the aftermath.

I wish I did. I really like him. Hopefully he will read his pms at some point.

[Guy Incognito]

it all went a bit tits up in here, didnt it?

never mind.

there's no way he's left. he'll back on here to at least find out what happened after 90 days

[Dorothy Wood]

Oh come on, come back Yeahwho. Please, ever since my cat died and all these recent republicans amplified the deep-seated misogynist undercurrent to our mainstream society, I've been completely insensitive with my criticism of all kinds of people and things. It's nothing personal, seriously.

[ericlee]

Man, I don't know how to take this. He's one of my most favorite posters here. He's been here since day one of me joining. And it happens to be my thread that made him "leave"?

Thanks a bunch, you puckered starfishes!

[abbott]

Jesus, is penetration really that important??? :)

well I was thinking about this. To me it is interesting that as an old husband that I would love to get more hand jobs. I mean it would be great to just lay there and have someone do all the work. I mean shit this sounds great to me. I would be more than happy to trade sex for 90 days with 4 hand jobs a week, from my wife, during the 90 days. So, penetration is not that important, unless your not getting it. I am not getting hand jobs and they seem pretty cool/important to me. Finally, this leads me to another point about how slow and uneducated I am; I had know idea what a pink open sign meant till a few weeks ago.

[ericlee]

Yeah man, shit's awesome.

[hpdrifter]

I think he'll come back eventually. He just needs to take a step back. I've had similar things happen and felt a similar way sometimes. I hope he doesn't stay away as long as I did though

[ericlee]

I kinda got dumped via phone today. Dumped? I'm not completely sure. I'm still in the wtf phase. I should have this thread deleted because if she even knows this existed it would be immediate dump.
.
Here's the story.

2 weekends ago, I saw the logic in her rule. People do start getting used to each other. They start putting their guard down and I did.

She had asked me when we first started going out if I have ever done drugs. I told her I did pretty much everything under the sun except heroin. I told her I tried coke a few times. I told her that I went through some dark times the past few years because of divorce, losing everything I owned because of sandy and I made some wrong choices.

Anyhow, I was wearing a shirt that had front pockets. Pretty big sweater. I have not worn that shirt for a year and I didn't wash it for a year. It was packed up in my garage with the rest of my clothes.

We were at her place basically making out and she reached into my pocket and pulled out a bag of coke that had a bit of residue. She was like WTF! I was like WTF!! I seriously and honestly don't remember how it ended up there. I grabbed it from her, put it in my pocket. She told me nope, set it on the table and tell me about it.

I had to recap the last time I had the sweater on. Then I remembered. I was at a bar, one that I never go to anymore because of that night. Seems like everytime I go there, there's these 2 brothers that kept trying to push the crap on me and they found me after one of my worst times ever and I caved in and bought them drinks in exchange for a little.

She's fucking furious and I didn't blame her a bit. I told her that was the past me. I told her that I don't do anything but drink now and then and that they sell home drug test kits at the pharmacy and that I'll purchase one and piss in it to show her that I'm clean. I told her that all I want to do is the best for me. I have seen the world crumble under my feet the past couple of years and I do not want anything stopping me which includes me feeling sorry for myself as I have and trying to find quick escapes.

So, I buy a whizz quiz kit, pissed into it while she literally watched me and pissed clean. I bought a kit that tests for 4 common drugs just to let her know that I am fully clean.

We made up, rolled around the bed a bit and I went home the next day because she works early on Monday so our routine is I go to my apartment when she leaves for work.

She brought up how many more things will uncover from you? She needs to know everything. She's very skeptical. This is NY. I told her there is nothing more.

So this past weekend I stayed from Friday night till Monday morning as usual. With her. Whatever happened was swept under the rug and we had a great, even more than great, we just had a freaking terrific time together.

Monday morning came, we saw each other off and continued our day as usual. Texting here and there and chatting when we can and today she told me she wants serious talk.

She tells me she's worried and doesn't want to do this anymore because she's getting attached and she is worried something else will uncover about me.

She's right. I don't want to hold anything from her. I want to love her. She is the right one but my stupid ass made far too many mistakes and I'm still reaping from them.

I still have this DWI charge hovering over me. I go to court for my second hearing next month. My attorney is gunning for me. I know I'm going to lose the case, regardless of whether I was sleeping in the jeep or not. The odds are not in my favor.

This is the only thing I'm holding from her. It's one stupid mistake that I made and I didn't want to bring it to her attention because it's embarrassing.

"Hey there, miss hot, responsible, got your shit together tight, I'm about to be convicted of a DWI, do I turn you on?"

So yeah, she kinda dumped me? But we kinda made ends meet over the phone and I told her that I'll piss in a cup every time we meet because I am clean and happy. We're taking it from there and she told me that she can trust me on that aspect but...

[russhie]

If she dumped you, probably for the best judging by that story?

When my now fiance were first dating, he was alone at my apartment one evening and found my stash of pot & pill bags, along with some speed I had left over from the last time I'd done drugs (which was months before we'd agreed that I'd stop doing recreational drugs). He flew off the handle at me, saying I couldn't be trusted etc. I told him the truth - I hadn't touched it since I'd agreed not to - and said if my word wasn't good enough, I'd rather be done than rehash the whole "but you did drugs before me/can't trust you now" argument.

We all have a past. If you can't look beyond that, you have no future.

[ms.peachy]

Eric man. I think you have got to lay all your cards on the table. You can't hide the DUI thing much longer and you have to tell her. Say "you're right, there is something else you need to know" and then just put it all out there. It might be the end or it might not, but it definitely will be if you let it keep going this way.

[abbott]

put it out there.... you have nothing to loose and everything to gain. Also, you can do this again and find another worse case.

I remember telling my innocent drug free girl friend about my past, I put it all out there and it was great.

After being married for 2 years, she told me she thought it was a big joke and had know Idea I was telling the truth and that she would have dumped me had she realized I was being so honest...

Good luck.

[hpdrifter]

Eric, you need to tell her. It is unfair to her to keep things from her that you know she will find important. If she finds out there is another secret (and she will), she'll never trust you again and even if your relationship continues after that (it probably won't) there will be a permanent crack in it which will diminish it and shorten its life.

[M|X|Y]

i say move on and start over the right way. this whole thing is retarded

[Bob]

basically what's up is this as far as i can tell:

1) you don't tell her about the DUI (or any other secrets you're worried about), and she finds out about it on her own (which it sounds like she definitely will, by your account), and dumps you on the spot for lying to her--she can't trust you after that, not after taking a chance on trusting you about the coke thing

2) you tell her about the DUI, and...well, she probably dumps you, because it really does sound like you're lying, even though you're not. but maybe she takes a chance and does trust you again, and everything works out. probably not a great chance, but this is the only scenario with a chance at all so i think you kind of have to just do it, and brace yourself for a dumping, but be pleasantly surprised if she doesn't


keep in mind that it's me though, when weighing the value of my romantic advice

[ericlee]

Thanks for all the insight guys. We're currently "friends" status. I'm not seeing her for 2 weeks because she has a busy agenda.

I'm going to drop it to her but not on a phone conversation. I need that face to face closure.


I feel sorry for her. She has everything together. Here I come with jack shit to offer her and I carry baggage.

[Documad]

Whatever happens, it sounds like you're in a better place than you were 3-6 months ago. You went through a lot in the last couple of years and you still have to face the DUI, but you're headed in the right direction in the long run.

[hpdrifter]

I'm so sorry, eric. We all have a past but it is the right thing to do. I am hoping for the best, that she gives you another chance. If she does, please please please be up front and honest with her from here on out.

And for God's sake stay away from that bar and those people. You don't need that bullshit in your life.

[Kid Presentable]

If she dumped you, probably for the best judging by that story?

When my now fiance were first dating, he was alone at my apartment one evening and found my stash of pot & pill bags, along with some speed I had left over from the last time I'd done drugs (which was months before we'd agreed that I'd stop doing recreational drugs). He flew off the handle at me, saying I couldn't be trusted etc. I told him the truth - I hadn't touched it since I'd agreed not to - and said if my word wasn't good enough, I'd rather be done than rehash the whole "but you did drugs before me/can't trust you now" argument.

We all have a past. If you can't look beyond that, you have no future.

This is heavy. But you seem to have a good perspective on it.

[checkyourprez]

tell her. lying is a no no in a relationship worth anything.

you either lie and have no realistic chance at a relationship because she will find out. or. you tell her and theres a possibility that she may want nothing more to do with you right there; which is the likely outcome of option 1 anyway. or. she appreciates your candidness and willingness to tell her something thats admittedly embarrassing for you.


basically no chance, or a little chance. balls in your court (kinda).


and lets be frank though for her having all her shit together, shes got to have some issues. everyone has their own issues. she just hasn't told you about it yet is my guess.

[Bob]

and lets be frank though for her having all her shit together, shes got to have some issues. everyone has their own issues. she just hasn't told you about it yet is my guess.

that's a good point. nobody's really clean in life. if she seems like she is, she must be hiding something massive

really if she walks away she's probably doing you a favor in the long run. she probably murders men in their sleep. she just needs 90 days to come up with a plan for the kill

[ericlee]

I don't even know if this will work at all. She told me that she still can't accept me having coke. She lost all trust. We can still hang out but not at her apartment. No more sleep overs, no more cuddling. She doesn't trust if I'm truly not doing drugs and she's afraid I'll bring something over again

She said we're broke up but she wants to regain trust in me, not sure how long it will take, possibly a few months.

I just don't quite understand how we had an amazing time together the weekend after the fact. Was invited over and stayed a whole weekend, did our thing and getting dumped two days after. If it bothered her so much then why didn't she tell me that weekend she found it?

I might as well as call it a loss. This is very complicated.

[Bob]

maybe she wasn't sure how to react to it right away, but with time to think, she made up her mind about it (i bet she's posting on some defunct band message board soliciting her own set of advice)

i dunno, i can't really give you advice here (not that it's stopped me trying)--usually when i get dumped it's because i'm boring and emotionally unavailable, and that makes sense to me; this one's out of my depth


but yeah, i think the smart thing to do is call it a loss, and if somehow the skies part and grant you a win, bonus

[M|X|Y]

and lets be frank though for her having all her shit together, shes got to have some issues. everyone has their own issues. she just hasn't told you about it yet is my guess.

but yeah, i think the smart thing to do is call it a loss, and if somehow the skies part and grant you a win, bonus


the whole thing seems way dramatic, litigious, and overly negotiated.. if its starting out this way when things should be at their lightest - why would you think it would be any different later on.


i say move on and start over the right way. this whole thing is retarded

relax and let life happen.. no sweat!

[Dorothy Wood]

It sounds to me like this woman has been burned by drug users in the past and doesn't want the drama. Or that she's a square who's never had any real problems and thinks drugs = moral corruption.

Either way, she needs to learn that you can't just run away every time something doesn't work out perfectly, or she's always gonna be alone.

And man, if she can turn her feelings off this fast, she's definitely got issues. Y'all need a heart to heart.

[M|X|Y]

doesnt anyone else think relationships should be a bit simpler.. at least in the beginning?

[Documad]

It sounds to me like this woman has been burned by drug users in the past and doesn't want the drama. Or that she's a square who's never had any real problems and thinks drugs = moral corruption.


Or she has a job/profession where if she gets caught with drugs in her place her career is over.

[Dorothy Wood]

doesnt anyone else think relationships should be a bit simpler.. at least in the beginning?

I don't know, emotions are pretty raw at the beginning. Establishing trust is a tumultuous undertaking. I'm 3.25 years into my relationship and things are much simpler now than at the beginning.


Or she has a job/profession where if she gets caught with drugs in her place her career is over.

What kind of job requires apartment searches? :eek:

I'm just sayin, my dad was into drugs, so my mom made sure her next husband wasn't a drug user...then that clean and sober person, pillar of the community even, molested my best friend when we were 12 and again at 14. Then shot himself when I was 17 when everyone found out. So, its a crap shoot.

[ericlee]

She told me that her only experience with any drugs was that she took a few hits of some pot a while ago at a party and it did nothing.

She's totally freaked about the coke. Views it as the most hardcore drug. I don't care much for it either. I just let myself get drunk enough that my guard was down and I took these guys up on their offer and I haven't touched the crap since way before I joined the army in 99.

So she wants to gain faith in me, still digs me and stuff but we have to start over as friends but I don't even think I want to go through this. I don't need to run through hoops to please anyone. It would be difficult for is to just hang as friends, call it a night after dinner or having drinks and not having what we used to do.

[Dorothy Wood]

She told me that her only experience with any drugs was that she took a few hits of some pot a while ago at a party and it did nothing.

She's totally freaked about the coke. Views it as the most hardcore drug. I don't care much for it either. I just let myself get drunk enough that my guard was down and I took these guys up on their offer and I haven't touched the crap since way before I joined the army in 99.

So she wants to gain faith in me, still digs me and stuff but we have to start over as friends but I don't even think I want to go through this. I don't need to run through hoops to please anyone. It would be difficult for is to just hang as friends, call it a night after dinner or having drinks and not having what we used to do.

What she's doing to you is worse than your dalliance with drugs. I mean, dang, some of the nicest and smartest people I know went through periods of recreational coke use. They're lawyers and scientists now, they own fucking half mil condos for pete's sake.

I grew up the squarest square that ever lived, and now I know as an adult that substances don't make a person. A prick on drugs is still a prick sober. And sometimes nice people do drugs for fun or at low points, and I don't think they shouldn't be judged unless the drug use has affected others negatively. I mean, I went a little sour on my dude when I found out he used to drop acid a lot, but he doesn't anymore, so I got over it.

I don't really understand why a grown woman living in a huge city could be so sheltered that a lil coke bag makes her lose her shit. Unless she's super Christian...?

[miss soul fire]

Listen to what you just said!

If you had a great time with her and are still considering taking the challenge after everythihng she sad about the 90-day rule is because you really like her and want to get to know her better. Just do it!;)

[hpdrifter]

To be fair, I would be super weirded out if I was making out with someone I had been dating a few months and found a drug baggie on their person and I am by no means, sheltered, conservative, Christian or without my own skeletons. Usually those dalliances are associated with youth and you expect, at a certain age, that people will have grown out of it, as your friends, did, DW. Without sounding too harsh (you know I respect you eric) he's old enough to know better.

Also, perhaps she has, as others said, a drug user in her past that burned her. And it's totally fair if she wants nothing to do with that ever again.

[M|X|Y]

that's true

[ericlee]

Old enough to know better but at the time I did the stuff, I just didn't care and was on a path of self destruction in which I pulled myself out of last year. I informed her of it.

She told me that she went through her rough time with drinking till she blacks out, on an empty stomach even. There's really no difference, doing coke, drinking til blacking out, they're stuff that people do and are older to know better. They're unacceptable forms of escape during times of distress.

The thing is, her spell happened a few years before mine and I'm recently recovering.

[Dorothy Wood]

To be fair, I would be super weirded out if I was making out with someone I had been dating a few months and found a drug baggie on their person and I am by no means, sheltered, conservative, Christian or without my own skeletons. Usually those dalliances are associated with youth and you expect, at a certain age, that people will have grown out of it, as your friends, did, DW. Without sounding too harsh (you know I respect you eric) he's old enough to know better.

Also, perhaps she has, as others said, a drug user in her past that burned her. And it's totally fair if she wants nothing to do with that ever again.

Oh I'm not saying she didn't have a right to be weirded out. I'm saying he clearly isn't a coke head and she should be mature enough to understand the circumstances.

[hpdrifter]

I guess. I am hyper sensitive about it too so I probably identify with her perspective more.

[Dorothy Wood]

I'm just trying to help, I'm not trying to argue about whether or not a person has a right to dump a person because he did coke once or twice. If it's important to people that their mate is drug free and always has been, fine. I just think it's immature and judgemental.

The bottom line is that they liked each other a lot and she's throwing it away for what I think is a petty reason.

It'd be like my boyfriend dumping me when he found my stash of narcotic pain killers...he was shocked, but I was like "oh yeah, those are left over from my dental surgeries, I don't like pills, so there's a bunch left over". And he believed me so we were fine.

I'm just sick of nice people getting fucked over because one person has all kinds of requirements of perfection.

[ms.peachy]

She told me that she went through her rough time with drinking till she blacks out, on an empty stomach even. There's really no difference, doing coke, drinking til blacking out, they're stuff that people do and are older to know better. They're unacceptable forms of escape during times of distress.

The thing is, her spell happened a few years before mine and I'm recently recovering.

This is very revealing. Maybe she feels like she's just not strong enough to help pick you up if you fall down. I don't know all her circumstances of course, but if she's had to work really hard to pull herself back from the brink and get some equilibrium in her life, I can see how she could be afraid that your lack of stability at this point in your life is more than she can manage.

When I say 'your instability', please understand that I don't mean that as a put down. I get that you are moving forward and committed to bringing yourself to a good place. But, you are still very much on that journey and I can see why she might be like "been there, done that, got the T-shirt and burned it".

So if she's all into setting lengths of time to make decisions, maybe say to her "Look, I understand. I really dig you and I think you dig me, but you're worried and you have a right to be. But I'm serious about my life and about you so how about we take another 90 days, we don't see eachother, I work on my shit, you think about life and let's have dinner on May 3rd and see where we're each at and how we feel then."

Or, you know, just decide she's not the right person and this isn't the right time, and move on. Also a completely viable option.

[ericlee]

She actually had a pros and cons list about me. The pros outnumbered the cons. But I've never had anyone do this for me.

Can't remember all the pros but they're piddly stuff like pretty eyes, willing to commit, I can't remember the other things because the cons section had me a little steamed.

Some of the cons were blue collar job. It may be blue collar but you need 4 years active duty and 1 year combat just to even step foot in my job.

We have different sleep and waking schedules. I've been working 3p-11p for over 6 years. I have no control over it. I'm trying to get onto the day shift and change my hours but its up to whether there's open positions for it. I would like to have my hours change because it would be great to see her at least a few times a week after work. But because of my hours and her work hours we're only limited to weekends.

Financially challenged. I'm in a little debt. I'm still fresh out of a divorce and this is pretty common. I'm slowly but surly pulling myself out of it.

And drugs. Which appears to be her main thing. Even though that's not an issue at all, she's sticking to it. Screw it. I will take a home piss test before I see her every time. It doesn't bother me and I can't blame her for having a sense of doubt.

She asked me to make a list about her and I honestly can't find one con about her. She's established, has an awesome job and everything going for her.

I did at one point which included me being a homeowner but I wasn't happy and the fact that I was threatened with divorce if I didn't do anything my ex wanted didn't help. But that's done and over. No more sulking over it and I explained to her.

[Dorothy Wood]

Sounds to me like she enjoys making people feel like shit. And like she reads too many magazines.

But hey, control freaks need love too. Good luck to y'all.

[Kid Presentable]

Eric, this is all way too hard. And she's never going to trust you.

[hpdrifter]

Yeah, it might have thrown things for too much of a loop to recover.

Sucks but it happens.

[camo]

She says 90 days - I see a challenge.

I'd simply break her down subliminally. One thing I'd do is to get every item in the house (that resembles a penis) and place them between two spherical objects. You know what I'm talking about here: a banana between two oranges, a sausage dog between two cushions - get creative.

[Documad]

Has she been in treatment for her alcohol abuse? I wonder if that would explain some of her rules? I thought the 90 day rule was silly but I totally understand her not wanting drugs in her home, especially if she had a problem with alcohol in the past (or present). And I think lists are weird but I understand that some people find them helpful. I wouldn't care if that was all there is.

I don't get the blue collar comment AT ALL. Many white collar guys are assholes who haven't read a book since they left school. It should be about whether you have common interests and whether you're both learning new things and able to relate on the same wavelength or whatever. I know blue collar guys who are more well read/interesting than some of my white collar coworkers. Plus they tend to be good at things I suck at.

I worry that you're too vulnerable yet--too fresh out of your marriage--that you're not even fully in touch with how your ex fucked you over mentally. What I'd wish for you is that you have some more casual fun and not get sucked into something that has a lot of unnecessary drama. I don't like you having to feel unsettled and being tied in knots by this. Is it really worth it? I don't know the deal with your ex but there's a danger that we all fall into old patterns without realizing.

[Yeti]

She asked me to make a list about her and I honestly can't find one con about her.

I can find 2.

#1. She has a 90 day rule
#2. She showed you a pro and con list

I am wary of this situation. The 90 day rule is one thing but to put your hours and job on a con list and then show it to you puts up a red flag for me. She is basically saying that she feels she could find someone that makes more money and is more refined. She called your job blue collar. Some people choose a career path because it is what they enjoy and they want to do. Looking down to someone because of their job is bad form. It is one thing to think it but it is completely another thing to make it known to the person.

Just step lightly my man because the leash seems to be tightening pretty early in the relationship.

[abbott]

Lists.. sounds good.

[abbott]

My wife does not trust me.

She told me what she thought.

I told her how she was wrong.

Then i got head.

[abbott]

It was great and i was glad she was wrong

[cosmo105]

I worry that you're too vulnerable yet--too fresh out of your marriage--that you're not even fully in touch with how your ex fucked you over mentally. What I'd wish for you is that you have some more casual fun and not get sucked into something that has a lot of unnecessary drama. I don't like you having to feel unsettled and being tied in knots by this. Is it really worth it? I don't know the deal with your ex but there's a danger that we all fall into old patterns without realizing.

Seriously. And do you really want to date someone that thinks she's so superior to yourself? Fuck this, man. Listen to what people here are saying. There is no reason it should be this hard so early in the relationship. None.

[cosmo105]

Also, who SHOWS someone a pro and con list about them?? BACK AWAY

[Dorothy Wood]

Also, who SHOWS someone a pro and con list about them?? BACK AWAY

My friend's ex took him out to lunch to discuss how he could "improve himself", and that was the end of their relationship. She lives in NYC now, I wonder if it's the same girl....

[cosmo105]

Ha, I laughed so hard the other day when I saw my coworker posted about her somewhat new boyfriend:

"Sometimes you have a great man and you think to yourself, hmmm...how can I make him even better? And before you know it you have a new project :)"

Have fun ruining your relationship!

[Helvete]

See, women, never happy! In fact, a friend just posted this joke on his facebook today.

The Husband Store

A store that sells new husbands has opened in Dorset , just off Bournemouth high street, where a woman may go to choose a husband. Among the instructions at the entrance is a description of how the store operates:

You may visit this store ONLY ONCE! There are six floors and the value of the products increase as the shopper ascends the flights. The shopper may choose any item from a particular floor, or may choose to go up to the next floor, but you cannot go back down except to exit the building!

So, a woman goes to the Husband Store to find a husband. On the first floor the sign on the door reads:

Floor 1 - These men Have Jobs

She is intrigued, but continues to the second floor, where the sign reads:

Floor 2 - These men Have Jobs and Love Kids.
'That's nice,' she thinks, 'but I want more.'

So she continues upward. The third floor sign reads:

Floor 3 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, and are Extremely Good Looking.

'Wow,' she thinks, but feels compelled to keep going.

She goes to the fourth floor and the sign reads:

Floor 4 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Good Looking and Help With Housework...

'Oh, mercy me!' she exclaims, 'I can hardly stand it!'
Still, she goes to the fifth floor and the sign reads:

Floor 5 - These men Have Jobs, Love Kids, are Drop-dead Gorgeous, Help with Housework, and Have a Strong Romantic Streak.

She is so tempted to stay, but she goes to the sixth floor, where the sign reads:

Floor 6 - You are visitor 31,456,012 to this floor. There are no men on this floor.. This floor exists solely as proof that women are impossible to please. Thank you for shopping at the Husband Store.

Silly, yes, but highlights the points being made!

[Dorothy Wood]

See, women, never happy! In fact, a friend just posted this joke on his facebook today.



Silly, yes, but highlights the points being made!

Mostly silly, I'd say. Why wouldn't she have gone directly to the top floor? The instructions state that the "value" increases as you go up. What kind of idiot would choose the first available? Also if there's nothing on the top floor, the rules lied. So I say phooey to that husband store! Its a house of lies!

[russhie]

Eric, this is all way too hard. And she's never going to trust you.

This.

[Helvete]

Mostly silly, I'd say. Why wouldn't she have gone directly to the top floor? The instructions state that the "value" increases as you go up. What kind of idiot would choose the first available? Also if there's nothing on the top floor, the rules lied. So I say phooey to that husband store! Its a house of lies!

Damn you and your logic!

[ericlee]

we're just keeping it as friends. I don't mind. Carry on.

[ericlee]

Fucking confused. Here I am spending the weekend with her again and we're back to normal. Who knows, I'm not expecting too much out of it because she was quick to dump me.

Anyhow when we first started seeing each other she told me to go ahead and expand my opportunities with dating and dating other ladies instead of secluding myself to her and I told her I'm fine with just her. She told me that if we're in a bar and I see an attractive lady to go and make moves on her. I'm like what?

Now she's telling me to go find a lady and take her home with me and fuck her in front of her. She told me its her new obsession and she thinks that's hot.

So urmmmm.....

[Bob]

i'd walk

[Dorothy Wood]

I'm starting to get scared. :(

[Randetica]

stop getting attracted to those mad freaky nutcased bonkers!



srsly, stop it.

[cosmo105]

jesus christ RUN AWAY FROM THIS WOMAN I AM NOT KIDDING

[ms.peachy]

jesus christ RUN AWAY FROM THIS WOMAN I AM NOT KIDDING

This.

There is something very wrong with her.

[Kid Presentable]

Fucking confused. Here I am spending the weekend with her again and we're back to normal. Who knows, I'm not expecting too much out of it because she was quick to dump me.

Anyhow when we first started seeing each other she told me to go ahead and expand my opportunities with dating and dating other ladies instead of secluding myself to her and I told her I'm fine with just her. She told me that if we're in a bar and I see an attractive lady to go and make moves on her. I'm like what?

Now she's telling me to go find a lady and take her home with me and fuck her in front of her. She told me its her new obsession and she thinks that's hot.

So urmmmm.....
Sounds good bro, you should go for it.(y)

[abbott]

i want to make a Sunday morning confession/clear something up.

I do love my wife and I hope she never leaves me.

We fight because I drink beer, play poker, and to much golf and my herbal supplements.

I am lucky she has her shit together in most cases.

I am also certain my wife reads this board, and she has since the cold chills on my balls post that got back to her. She also pays all my bills and I never have cash, so she knows every beer I buy. So I aint hiding shit, and I think that's why it works. She keeps investigating and digging up my boring truth.

Early in our dating I had a shot at a threesome, me my wife and this hot chick and I fucked it up by being slow. Sometimes I think it may have been a good thing, because it may have caused some stress in our relationship. Often I think, shit I should have gone for it, how could I be so stupid.

[Bob]

i'm glad that's cleared up finally

[ms.peachy]

This might just be the weirdest goddamn thread ever on this board.

[Bob]

This might just be the weirdest goddamn thread ever on this board.

it's been through a lot

i miss the days when we had interesting threads like this :(. now i gotta go outside and have a life and shit

[ericlee]

Thread of the year!

[cosmo105]

can somebody text me with updates on this thread? there are so many different plot lines and i don't want to get behind.

[hpdrifter]

Did she say it in the heat of the moment while you were making out? Had you been drinking?

Normally id say dirty talk in the heat of the moment shouldn't be held against someone but there are so many red flags already that even if the above apply prob better to back away.

Dammit this was supposed to go in Eric's thread. That's what I get for posting from my phone. Yes, I am posting from my phone.

Moved from other thread.

[ericlee]

It wasn't a heat of the moment thing. She's mentioned to me many times about flirting with another lady while she's at the bar with me. Kinda like she would be watching me incognito.

This whole thing about bringing a girl home and doing the nasty is a new thing. I told her for all I know it could be a setup for her to break up with me for cheating on her. Who even knows if we're even going out though, I'm basically just hanging with her on the weekends and I'm cool with it. We do appreciate each other's company.

[hpdrifter]

can somebody text me with updates on this thread? there are so many different plot lines and i don't want to get behind.

I heard in the season finale ericlee moves to Utah to open a ski school.

[Dorothy Wood]

I feel like the kind of woman who would get picked up at a bar for fucking in front of another woman is also the kind of woman who doesn't think cocaine is that bad. So maybe you should date the woman you fuck in front of ol' crazy.

[M|X|Y]

It wasn't a heat of the moment thing. She's mentioned to me many times about flirting with another lady while she's at the bar with me. Kinda like she would be watching me incognito.

This whole thing about bringing a girl home and doing the nasty is a new thing. I told her for all I know it could be a setup for her to break up with me for cheating on her. Who even knows if we're even going out though, I'm basically just hanging with her on the weekends and I'm cool with it. We do appreciate each other's company.


what do you mean break up with you? and what do you mean cheating on her?

is she, like, your girlfriend?

[ericlee]

Your guess is as good as mine for both questions.

[ericlee]

All questions that is.

[Documad]

I really hope that you're consulting with some kind of professional as you're recovering from your marriage. I don't mean it as an insult and I don't know you but you seem to be attracted to women who fuck with your head and treat you badly. If that makes you happy, it's okay -- not judging, just want you to have insight and own your choices.

My finale would be getting in a van to follow the grateful dead around but it's not a viable option in 2013.

[cosmo105]

^listen to this lady.

[M|X|Y]

^^ listen to both of these ladies

[Helvete]

^^Listen to this man.

[cosmo105]

LISTEN TO JAMES BROWN

[Bob]

listen: billy pilgrim has come unstuck in time

[ericlee]

Dumped on Valentines day. I always hated that day anyway.

Blue collar job is this issue supposedly. I told her I am not all that happy with and and am in pursuit for a different career or job and she jumped all over my case saying I'm not trying hard enough and I would have had my dream job years ago when I decided I'm not happy with this job and just on and on. I've submitted so many resumes in the past couple of years and I haven't had a call yet. Its not that easy in this city. I passed NYC and NY state correctional officer exams and got letters from both saying to stand by.

So anyhow, I'm not good enough. I feel kind of relieved actually because she's been digging for something about me and it makes a person very uncomfortable.

So no P in the V with that one. On to the next with my blue collar self.

[Bob]

she jumped all over my case saying I'm not trying hard enough and I would have had my dream job years ago when I decided I'm not happy with this job and just on and on.

oh dude read that back to yourself and take comfort, you dodged a bullet on this one

[Franci]

I can't believe this woman :eek:
She's awful in so many ways...

[ms.peachy]

oh dude read that back to yourself and take comfort, you dodged a bullet on this one

No shit. That bitch is effing crazy.

[Dorothy Wood]

Eric you kept saying she has her shit together, but be assured she most definitely does not have it together mentally.

Maybe it's time to move back to Ohio?

[ericlee]

Yeah I'm gathering she doesn't have it all together upstairs. I mentioned the fact that she invited me over again after she dumped me and then she dumped me again. She told me her bad and she won't invite me again.

That was yesterday. I didn't text or call her all day and then she sends what appeared to look like a drunk text saying she will offer anything in her company and I'm a real sweet guy.

And today she's texting me and asking if I want to chat, what am I doing today..

Seriously, OK, she makes 6 figures but she told me she dropped out of her college. She is now going to school again for a different profession because she said she's not satisfied with being a number lady all her life. Good for her. Number lady meaning she works in finance.

She was dogging on me for not having a higher education and not asserting myself. I don't get it, she dropped out of her school, wasted education right there and now she's back in school again. She's 4 years older than me.

Just..I don't even know why I'm trying to wrap my head around this.

[ericlee]

Actually Miss Wood, I'm sticking around in NY. For one, I have to do some courses after I get convicted for this DWI so I have to stick around here till they're complete.

And another is I'm going to school and I'd like to graduate from here. I already have my job here so I'll be going to school and to work. There's really no jobs in Ohio and I'd literally have to start from scratch moving back. Plus I'm so tired of the cold. Its cold in NY, sure, but so much colder where I'm from.

[cosmo105]

jesus christ eric, stay the fuck away from this woman. don't return her calls or texts. she will keep doing this forever and one day you'll wake up tied to a pipe in her basement wondering how things got so insane.

[Dorothy Wood]

I'm not a big fan of Ohio, and it makes sense to stay in NY, so as always, good luck, hopefully things get better soon.

[Bob]

jesus christ eric, stay the fuck away from this woman. don't return her calls or texts. she will keep doing this forever and one day you'll wake up tied to a pipe in her basement wondering how things got so insane.

yep! get out before she eats your babies man.


tell her you're gay or something if you have to just get out

[zippo]

holy fucking crap, ive read this thread from top to bottom nonstop and its way better than Netflix! and i have a list of like +20 movies to watch there...

beastie free message board becomes ericlee's diary, open to the public and comments permitted: the 2013 diary.

so anyways, seriously,holy shit, what cosmo said, youre gonna end up tied up to whatever the hell crazy basement she's got set up in a secret passage, where you'll meet up with the girls she's seen you eyeing at earlier bar nights. she's gonna do experiments that will end up with all of you dead, which will then be the inspiration for a movie that will inspire a new Oscar category: torture based on real life events. maybe, maybe not.

no, come on, let's make our list here:
1. the 90 day rule, its like something out of a movie.
2. then a person who's admitted blacking out from drinking goes batshit from finding drugs in your pocket?
3.the pros and cons list. out of another movie.
4.the constant dumping and being suddenly OK.
5.the watching you with another girl. i dont know, it's NY, is this normal?? not to me.

ODD to say the least. the mere description of her on this thread scared the crap out of me, and you're even going to her house waaaahhh!!!
so whats the latest? are you still with us?

[M|X|Y]

how's your girl doing, eric?

[ericlee]

we're just friends. I don't have time to try and impress anyone.