i don't think i've ever felt lonely

[TurdBerglar]

I am not at all sure what it feels like. i think this becomes a major problem with relationships. i think it makes me not appreciate relationships/friendships as much as most people expect me to. i think this causes people to think im not interested in them as they expect me to be. the weird thing is im generally well liked and appreciated. i just don't seem to appreciated people in general as much as they appreciate me and it hurts their feelings to be rejected(for lack of a better word). it's not really rejection it's that i just don't fucking care AS MUCH. not about them but about everyone in general.

my personality seems to really irritate females. i get the impression that something about me is just out of reach and they can't quite get a hold on to it for very long or at all. like if a girlfriend goes away for a week or you just don't have the opportunity to see each other for a period of time. im not sad at all im fucking happy to be rid of her for the time being. you know, like a vacation from somebody that you see every fucking day. and when she returns i don't care as much as she does that she's back and we get to see each other. she's all excited to see me and im not anymore excited to see her than normal because it's only been a FUCKING WEEK. then i get all pissed at her because she's getting needlessly emotional about some bullshit that i don't feel like dealing with because i feel it's a none issue.

i don't know. im just cold i guess. I've been called heartless more than once.

so what does loneliness feel like? is it like boredom and sadness combined? seriously question.

[TurdBerglar]

http://www.humanmetrics.com/cgi-win/jtypes2.asp

holy shit. this test describes me perfectly.

my results:

http://typelogic.com/intj.html



fuck it's late and im doing weird internet personality tests...again

[M|X|Y]

tell us about your relationship to your mother.

[TurdBerglar]

is that a serious question?

my family seems even more unemotional than myself. I've never seen my parents kiss or hug. I can't even recall them sitting very close to one another. but they get along great. they're each other's best friends. same type of atmosphere directed towards me as well.

I don't remember getting any type of overt affection from them. very distant. my whole family on my mom's side seems to be like that.

[hpdrifter]

Is it really possible that you and Katie Couric are the same type?

[Helvete]

It's learned. It was your environment and how you were brought up and how you cope with things. I'm similar in some aspects, the only times I've ever let my guard down in regards to relationships it has always backfired, you insulate yourself from that and you detach yourself and make it so if anything does happen, you don't give a fuck.

Not saying that is why you are the way you are, but if your upbringing was the way you say it was, you wouldn't have been able to manage as a needy kid, you had to toughen up, detach yourself from needing close relationships and you have carried that to adulthood.

[TurdBerglar]

I don't think I had to toughen up. i don't think my personality is the affect of some coping mechanism. I was just automatically that way. very emotionally and socially independent from the very beginning. never had the urge to be accepted or wanted by others. never had to "cope" with anything. i have little respect for people that are very dependent on others. I kinda see it as if I was never indirectly taught to be a pussy because I was never around those types of people.

the women in my family are very masculine compared to todays females. the girliest girl I grew up with fucking played hockey and other sports. I see girliness as a huge critical flaw. not femininity but girlyness. seeing a girly girl is not any different to me than seeing a girly guy. I just look at them all like.... what the fuck is wrong with you! im not really attracted to it. unless that girlyness means she's showing off her tits or something. I grew up around very emotionally tough/stable/happy people.

any hint of dependence/neediness from someone turns me off from someone fairly quickly. my independence seems to upset people and i don't get it. isn't that suppose to be a good thing? i admire and respect socially and emotionally independent people. they're better people. people seem to want me to need them. you shouldn't need anybody!

[Helvete]

If that atmosphere was from birth, the that's just how you developed. I don't mean like you were some soppy kid and then one day you were locked outside in the coal bunker and had to fend for yourself. But if you cried as a baby and someone didn't immediately come running, you soon learned there's no fucking point in crying so you just stop doing it. I've seen kids that have constantly had their mothers running for them and they turn into very clingy, whiny kids and stay like that.

I'm not trying to say you had some harsh and bad upbringing either, but I'm still thinking that you are a product of your childhood and you are who you are today because of it.

[M|X|Y]

it was a serious question. i think there's a lot to it.

everyone is largely a product of their circumstances environment, but no one's prisoner to them.

[Dorothy Wood]

I think this thread is an expression of loneliness in a way. You want to be understood at least. It's not a super emotional loneliness, but you're reaching out for a connection.

I dunno, I think it's been established that we have similar personalities, I took the test you posted and got the same INTJ profile. As I get older, I think I'm even more "cold" because I realize that so many people around me are dumb as shit. It's infuriating. People ask me a lot of stupid questions, or use technical terms incorrectly and I just kind of black out and can't answer them...at least not politely, because my brain is like, "illogical, does not compute" and I want to just walk away from the person. Instead, I start to stutter, literally.

I feel bad for my boyfriend, because he is not like me and has to deal with my matter-of-factness. He does things all the time where I'm like "don't do that, that's not logical", and he's like, "why does everything have to be logical?" and I just want to scream. Luckily being around him kind of teaches me how to be more understanding or open to other ways of doing things. He is also a dude, so he doesn't really need me to be all sensitive anyway.

It would be awesome if everybody did things better and were less needy. But that's not going to happen, Turd, we're a minority personality type. But I bet you could find a lady that is compatible. I can't be friends with girls like the girls you're talking about, my close lady friends are very straightforward and independent. You gotta find that kind of lady.

[hpdrifter]

I think this thread is an expression of loneliness in a way. You want to be understood at least. It's not a super emotional loneliness, but you're reaching out for a connection.


Pretty insightful...

[TurdBerglar]

this wasn't necessarily about trouble finding a girl. it was more about my irritation with how I seem to unintentionally irritate people in general(well females a lot more than guys). I just used the girlfriend reference to show how extreme my personality seems to be from other people. having a girlfriend has never really been that important to me. it's definitely nice but it's not important. that seems to contradict how most people feel. I feel that the fundamental things that cause that difference in my personality is just really irritating/upsetting for a lot of people. especially females. girls have a real hard time understanding me. they don't seem to understand why im not all up their asses when every other guy has been. these girls can be girlfriends, acquaintances or girls i just know because i see them every day.

generally I feel girls are treated very differently. they're routinely treated as if they're SLIGHTLY incompetent/stupid/special(not retarded special but as if they're more important) and held to slightly lower standards. over the years it makes them incredibly naïve, emotionally weak, useless, dull and boring. the women/girls in my family are very tough and don't take any shit but are very honest, direct and fair. I was not raised in an environment where the girls and boys were treated any differently. the girls didn't even have those awful girl toys that just help reinforce those qualities I hate about typical females. most people are raised in the type of environment where the girls are treated differently so they see they way girls are treated and how they act as being totally normal and acceptable. those people tend to see me as being a complete dick about how I think. I feel is a horrible way to treat someone they way girls are. no one ever expects a girl to have to "man up". but I do and girls fucking hate that about me.

it seems that women that grew up in the 60's/70's are cool as shit. something happened to how girls are raised. or it's just an age/maturity thing. but I could never see those women that I respect that grew up in the 60/70's ever acting like how girls today act.

[Dorothy Wood]

this wasn't necessarily about trouble finding a girl. it was more about my irritation with how I seem to unintentionally irritate people in general(well females a lot more than guys). I just used the girlfriend reference to show how extreme my personality seems to be from other people. having a girlfriend has never really been that important to me. it's definitely nice but it's not important. that seems to contradict how most people feel. I feel that the fundamental things that cause that difference in my personality is just really irritating/upsetting for a lot of people. especially females. girls have a real hard time understanding me. they don't seem to understand why im not all up their asses when every other guy has been. these girls can be girlfriends, acquaintances or girls i just know because i see them every day.

generally I feel girls are treated very differently. they're routinely treated as if they're SLIGHTLY incompetent/stupid/special(not retarded special but as if they're more important) and held to slightly lower standards. over the years it makes them incredibly naïve, emotionally weak, useless, dull and boring. the women/girls in my family are very tough and don't take any shit but are very honest, direct and fair. I was not raised in an environment where the girls and boys were treated any differently. the girls didn't even have those awful girl toys that just help reinforce those qualities I hate about typical females. most people are raised in the type of environment where the girls are treated differently so they see they way girls are treated and how they act as being totally normal and acceptable. those people tend to see me as being a complete dick about how I think. I feel is a horrible way to treat someone they way girls are. no one ever expects a girl to have to "man up". but I do and girls fucking hate that about me.

it seems that women that grew up in the 60's/70's are cool as shit. something happened to how girls are raised. or it's just an age/maturity thing. but I could never see those women that I respect that grew up in the 60/70's ever acting like how girls today act.


Most people want to be accepted by others. Mainstream society teaches women that it's most important to look good, to be sexually attractive. That's a mind fuck that turns some (most?) girls into needy lunatics. If not completely loony, most women are still incredibly insecure and therefore get upset when their expectations of others are not met.

I do think though, that there is a male counterpart to these types of women, so you can't just chalk it up to gender. There are plenty of entitled useless men in this world too.

I guess when I bring up women I know, I'm trying to get you to look beyond painting an entire gender as weak. When I used to play sports, we were very much expected to "man up", and I was raised to be very capable. My grandma taught me how to build things and how to paint rooms properly. My mom was very strict about craftsmanship, efficiency and spacial organization. I guess I never knew that that wasn't the norm.

Anyway, I think there were plenty of airheads brought up in the 60s/70s, and maybe they're the ones who have birthed and raised the jerks of today.

Personally I think part of the problem is segregation of genders, (which starts in school and stems probably from lazy prudes who didn't know how to control kids). I much prefer a mixed gender crowd, or hanging with only guys than a "girls night", which always seems like a punishment to me. But that's just my taste, I've just always gotten along better with dudes.

I think I got off track, but my point is, yes, people are irritating when they're needy, but I don't think they're doing it on purpose. And if you don't want to deal with them, don't feel bad about it, they'll find someone else to leech energy off of. Introverts just aren't made for socializing, we don't always need other people to give us anything, we can usually find it on our own. But it also nice to let interesting and loving people in, provided they understand our lack of emotional sensitivity.

[Dorothy Wood]

*I feel the need to clarify my position on getting along better with dudes, in case any women would read my opinion and find me misogynistic.

I just mean that, in my life, boys have been nicer to me than girls. From a very young age. I find it much easier to talk to a new person if it is a dude. However, my close friends are women. I don't like hate women, I hate annoying women, and annoying men too.

[yeahwho]

I probably am about to make 0 sense.

I spent about 3 years in an alcohol/drug ladled loneliness. I understand and can emphasize with the way alcoholics feel lonely. The lead up to that feeling for me was pathological lying, a martyr complex and the drunkeness that alienates a person from the general population on a mutual basis.

See I just don't know if the loneliness I felt is the same as what normal people feel. And I mean normal people in a positive light. I was fucking high for a dozen years, and heavily medicated on the booze. I had multiple symptons, mainly incomprehensible demoraliization which entails a pretty pathetic litany of mental conditions.

So the loneliness I felt was real, it was desparation, isolation and no verification of my situation. I just wandered around like idiot (I honestly had no clue how fucked up I was) until I finally had an epiphany one day over 10 years ago and quit drinking.

I was never lonely as a kid, I was sort of lonely in high school because we moved quite a bit but I always found kids to get high with after school and on the weekends. Of course they were just as desparate as I was to escape reality. Just co-players who also were looking to justify their own fucked up situations.

But now I never feel lonely are alone. If anything I have to go hide at times so I can be alone, which is very different from loneliness. Just to relax my frazzled mind from all of the avenues of communication thrown at us.

[ms.peachy]

the women in my family are very masculine compared to todays females. the girliest girl I grew up with fucking played hockey and other sports. I see girliness as a huge critical flaw. not femininity but girlyness. seeing a girly girl is not any different to me than seeing a girly guy. I just look at them all like.... what the fuck is wrong with you! im not really attracted to it. unless that girlyness means she's showing off her tits or something. I grew up around very emotionally tough/stable/happy people.

any hint of dependence/neediness from someone turns me off from someone fairly quickly. my independence seems to upset people and i don't get it. isn't that suppose to be a good thing? i admire and respect socially and emotionally independent people. they're better people. people seem to want me to need them. you shouldn't need anybody!

I always felt it was far better to have someone be with me because they wanted me, not because they needed me, and vice versa. As you progress in a relationship, sometimes the lines blur a bit, but I think it's important to retain that sense of being with someone because you actually like to be with that person, not because you can't manage without them. For example: in our current living situation, I am mostly financially dependent on mr.p, so I need him in that sense. But I also know that if it came down to it, I would be ok on my own, eventually.

I see so many men here in China who have these Chinese girlfriends (or in some cases, wives) that are basically just spoiled exotic pets and I just don't get it. You see these paunchy balding blokes with their 20 year old chickies being dragged around the mall buying them this and that and the girls get all pouty and petulant at every little thing that doesn't go their way. I guess they have magic vaginas or something because I can't figure out why those guys would put up with that kind of crap. But they do.

[TimDoolan]

I don't think I had to toughen up. i don't think my personality is the affect of some coping mechanism. I was just automatically that way. very emotionally and socially independent from the very beginning. never had the urge to be accepted or wanted by others.

I'm the same way. Never needed to latch on to another person at all untill college. For a while I thought there was something wrong with me in regard to relationships but now I know I value my freedom and independence. I'm also very choosy when it comes to picking a romantic partner. I feel lonely sometimes but I feel very lucky because I can cope with it easily (family, friends, mellow personality)
Besides I don't want to break my non dating record 10/31/07

[TurdBerglar]

I also never had a girlfriend till I was 19 years old. I was way more concerned about biking and video games than listening to some girl.

when I was about 14 during summer vacation i'd be home alone while everyone was at work. my friends would stop by at my house and that was the normal hang out spot. one of my friends stopped by and we were all trying to decide on what we were gonna do that day. he made the suggestion that we go to so and so's house because she and her friends were home alone and wanted some guys over(wink wink nudge nudge). i was so completely uninterested and totally clueless. you'd think at 14 i'd be all like FUCK YEAH LETS GO. but i was just all like.... why would you want to hang out at some girl's house and watch them watch mtv when it's a beautiful day outside. we could go to the park! I've always had much less interest with interacting with females. some of my old friends even thought i might've been gay because of my general lack of interest.

[Randetica]

i know a guy whos 28, never had a gf and he also never searched for one and he isnt gay either
he just goes to work, then at home just plays video games, thats it! and he is happy with that life

he is a lonely ranger that lone ranges through a lonely range or maybe might be a ticking amok bomb, i dunno