Rock bottom at its finest

[ericlee]

Just when I start getting my life back on track this DWI thing still remains to haunt me. I found a decent place to live and was working hard. In order to do my job I'm required to have a NY state security guard license.

Well my license expired Tuesday. Being that I still have an open court case I cannot have it renewed till the case is settled. No license equals no work. Apparently the court will offer me a deal which consists of me going to a treatment program for 14 weeks starting in April. If I do so then I will not have a DWI on my record. That would be great, however, I'm not sure if this is intake or out patient. Regardless, my case will not be settled until the program is completed. If it's intake then that means 14 weeks without working and most likely I have to pay for it. How can I pay for it with no income?

If it's outpatient, I can continue working, I'll just have to find a job that doesn't require me to have a guard license.

My attorney will call me today with more details of said program. My next court date is April 4. I'm almost convinced that I will bite the bullet and have it on my record so my case will be settled and everything is done and over and I'm not sure if I can have my guard licensed renewed if I have a DWI conviction on my record. I've been reading what convictions will prevent from having a license but a misdemeanor DWI is not one of them listed.

So in the meantime I will pay my rent a month in advance, go hunt for jobs and hope for the best. I am a paycheck by paycheck average American so this is one difficult situation I'm in.

[Documad]

You should talk it through with your attorney. A DUI on your record can cause a lot of fall out -- with insurance, with all kinds of jobs. And you never know when the qualifications for a license will change. Even if you're right and a DUI doesn't bar you from getting a guard license now, the rules could change next year. And I'm sure you think you'll never get another DUI, but if you do, then the consequences of having that first one on your record could make that much worse. That's something to talk with your lawyer about.

What's the downside of the diversion/treatment program, other than the short-term issues of time and money? I've got a close family member who had to do one of those programs--he went in thinking he was just going through the motions to avoid jail but it changed his life for the better. He's been sober ever since.

[ericlee]

The downside of an intake program is that once I'm done with it I will have zero dollars to my name and I will have to start off in a shelter. I'll be completely reborn as if I never had a life before.

Sure, it may sound like some kind of novelty to watch me go through it and achieve a successful life after. Take into aspect, I'm not from this state, have no family or friends to pat me on the back if I complete the program and honestly, I want to leave this state as soon as possible.

[cosmo105]

I really doubt it would be an inpatient thing for an offense that they can take off your record like that.

[Documad]

If you have a job, judges/prosecutors usually try pretty hard to help you keep your job while you're on probation/diversion and getting treatment. They know that in the longterm you're better off if you have a job for stability, staying law-abiding etc. But you can't look like you're trying to avoid treatment or like you think you don't have a problem. Hopefully your attorney can help you navigate all that.

(My family member wouldn't admit he had a problem--his probation officer gave him great advice to cooperate with treatment and pretend he had a problem--after a couple of weeks in the program he realized that he did in fact have a problem, even though he went in as a big jackass. I got to work with his probation officer later on when I was in school--he had this really hard shell but he helped a lot of people and gave a lot of practical advice.)

[kaiser soze]

hey ericlee - keep your chin up, you are not a bad guy nor alone in your challenges.

I don't know why a DWI would require inpatient rehab, isn't AA a legitimate option in this?

I know how you're feeling though - dealing with a messy and increasinly pricey custody issue - not exactly a DWI, but enough scrutiny, drama and anxiety of the unknown (which I'm guessing your feeling)

stay true to yourself and you will never fall!

[ericlee]

Oops, my court date is today actually. I've been lacking sleep. Haven't worked since March 19 so I'm completely broke. I've been pushing out resumes with no calls back.

This shit is just unreal. There has to be something out there besides this misery.

[ericlee]

I tried filing for unemployment but I'm doubtful it will go through because technically I wasn't fired. In fact I still have a job and I keep in touch with my supervisor and he wants me back. I'm just out of work because of guard license issues.

[ericlee]

Hey kaiser, turns out that it will be outpatient and no, AA is not an alternative. Only court approved programs OASAS for instance. You have to take into knowledge that the court and the program are connected and I have to pay for it which means the court wants to suck money out of me every way possible.

I did however get in contact with the VA and a VA attorney will meet me in court and they have treatment programs which are of no cost since I'm a veteran.

[Lex Diamonds]

Don't you find that overthinking makes it worse? Like I mean you took the time to write all this out and are obviously spending a lot of time fretting... whenever my life is shit I just keep busy working/looking for work, talk about stupid asinine shit with friends and do whatever the fuck I need to do to fix it as quick as possible.

I hate talking about negative shit is all I'm saying... the more you talk and think about it the worse it becomes (unless it's a personal issue). There are occasions where you have to bury that emotional shit until you make it out the other side. Weed & music help.

Good luck bro, you're going to be fine in a little while.

[ericlee]

I was taking a break from job hunting and had to vent out a little. I keep occupied enough. Things will get better, I know. Its just got me pushed into a corner at the moment. At least I'll get some closure after the hearing but as of now I'm in limbo.

[Lex Diamonds]

If you're being pushed into a corner then don't take breaks, that would be my advice. Just keep it trucking, searching all them nooks and crannies... No English muffin, streets are filled with crooks and trannies. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-m5n8_VS_Ho)

And don't put everything on the result of the hearing. Be equally prepared for any outcome so it doesn't phase you or set you back.

[ericlee]

Thanks for the inspiration, Paddy. One of the best things to do is to vent a little about it and thankfully there's the internet to do so because I walk around in the real world with a poker face and don't really express myself to anyone about my issues.

[Lex Diamonds]

Yeah, I used to be kind of like that. I always thought it was an Irish thing. I would bottle shit up out there in the real world and then come on here or Facebook or whatever and moan about shit... but I realised it's really best to just let your feelings out as they happen.

Nowadays I'm a lot quicker to get angry, snap at people and speak my mind in a negative way. I'm not afraid of pissing people off (well I never have been to be honest)... But at the same time I'm a lot happier, I feel lighter in my mind and the sadness/anger always (usually) passes just as quickly as it came, once I've said what I felt. Then I can get back to just fucking about and laughing the whole time. I've been dealing with some shit over the past year and I feel like I've come out of it a stronger person; so will you my man.

[abbott]

Your lucky you have not discovered the truth of rock bottom. If you want to find yourself there you can. I doubt you get there and I mean that as compliment.

[Documad]

I did however get in contact with the VA and a VA attorney will meet me in court and they have treatment programs which are of no cost since I'm a veteran.

Smart move! Take advantage of all that they offer. I hear they are starting to offer more services of that sort in some locations and it's terrific.

You've got a lot going for you in the long run, you just have to get through this shitty part.

[ericlee]

I was rejected for medical benefits because apparently I made too much money last year. My rep told me that she has never heard of such and that I earned everything because I did serve and it shouldn't matter how much I made. So Monday I have an appointment in Brooklyn rather than Queens.

It was a smart move to contact the VA. I'm so glad that I put the effort in it when I enlisted. It wasn't the easiest time of my life but I did it. Now that I did and completed my tour with a few medals and hard sweat, it all pays off.

[Documad]

I've heard that the red-tape at the VA is unbelievable but if you can navigate through all that, there are some great benefits and you certainly earned them. And some courts are starting to have special diversion programs for veterans.

I helped an in law a while ago and concluded that it's much harder to figure out the system than it ought to be.