creepers, man

[TurdBerglar]

I seem to attract creepers of all types or I just have much less tolerance for them then others.

why do some people have such a hard time accepting that someone just doesn't want anything to do with them? i know I've talked about this before but sometimes it gets ridiculous. why would someone repeatedly ask you to go to a redsox game with them if you make it obvious that you want nothing to do with them? then get all pissed off every time you say no.

why do girls tell themselves and their friends "oh he's so shy" when i don't talk to them? and just keep at it no matter how much i avoid them. i don't talk to you because all you do is try to use me for attention. you talk to every guy as if he's only there to give you attention. is this some sort of mental defense mechanism? they tell themselves that some dude doesn't talk to her because he's shy rather than accept that maybe he just doesn't respect/like you?

that dude that keeps trying to weasel his way into your little group of friends. he tries to impress you with things that make him look cool even though we're all just a bunch of dorks. why can't he just can't accept that we don't like his weird obsessive phoniness. what's he thinking that he feels the NEED to be our friend.

do these creepers just have no friends at all so they're completely desperate? or am i the asshole for completely disregarding people that don't interest me? do others just kindly put up with people? i have never in my life been so determined for someone to like/accept me. im generally well liked but I've been in situations where everyone pretty much hated me and it didn't bother me. i was just like....whatever and did my own thing.

[Helvete]

I don't have any friends, let alone creeper friends.

[TurdBerglar]

what makes someone try to stop me when im on my bike so they can tell me how cool my bike is when they know nothing about bikes? what makes someone sit next to me on a bench when there's other empty benches literally a couple of feet a way and try to talk to me when I obviously have headphones on and I have me face buried in my phone? what's running through a girls head when she can't accept that I don't want to talk to her? why does she feel im obligated to talk to her? a better question is why do other guys put up with it and teach her that every guy will just give her attention? it's gotta be for the pussy.

why do some people just have a hard time just fucking off.

[MC Moot]

Don't look now but somebody thinks entirely too much of themselves...ridiculously trite shit going on here...

[Dorothy Wood]

I enjoy bicycle compliments from strangers, but I usually just accept and move on instead of sticking around to chat about specs or whatever. Plus it's usually a dude who's trying to flirt and if he's cute I run away especially fast so I don't get in trouble ;)

Anyway, I had some friendship seeking creepers for awhile, but I just never gave in and so they gave up. I'm sure plenty of people think I'm a bitch, I've definitely been called a bitch outright, and heard second hand that people think I'm mean. But oh well, I'm not mean, I'm actually pretty nice and helpful when it matters. And I guess if not taking bullshit from people is bitchy, so be it. I think women are too accommodating in general, so I don't think it's me who should change.

As I get older I just let myself be okay with being a quiet person and honest about who I want to spend my time with. I think society is set up for extroverts, and everyone is taught that they need to be friendly, but I think there's far too much bullshit small talk going on and not enough thinking. However, I've also found that its easy enough to pretend to be friendly so people aren't like crying because you're so blunt (that happened to me once and I didn't feel bad so much as feel like saying "you're pathetic", but I didn't, I just kept as far away from her as possible from then on.)

I'm rambling now but yeah I dunno why so many people are so weak. It's a symptom of a bigger issue of entitlement and emptiness people feel and project because they're trained to be insecure while simultaneously being trained to be self-involved. It's a crazy world!

[ms.peachy]

Don't look now but somebody thinks entirely too much of themselves...ridiculously trite shit going on here...

I'm pretty convinced Turd is autistic. Not throwing that out as an insult, just as a theory.

[TurdBerglar]

Don't look now but somebody thinks entirely too much of themselves...ridiculously trite shit going on here...

nah

there's people out there that can't handle being ignored. I don't know if they think they're special and deserve attention or they think being overly social is something you should be appreciative of. or maybe they just feed off of being social and don't know how to be happy any other way.

like what goes through somebody's mind to try to talk to a complete stranger that has headphones on and is reading a newspaper? how can someone be so fucking rude. all I wanna do is spend my lunch break at the park across the street and be left alone. I would never think of going up to a complete stranger and just start bullshitting with him. that's crazy and pretty fucking rude.

[TurdBerglar]

I'm pretty convinced Turd is autistic. Not throwing that out as an insult, just as a theory.

nope. too many people just live and die for attention. it's petty. especially young females who expect every guy to just automatically like them and pander to their attention seeking little games because most guys do.

[TurdBerglar]

but I think there's far too much bullshit small talk going on and not enough thinking. However, I've also found that its easy enough to pretend to be friendly so people aren't like crying because you're so blunt (that happened to me once and I didn't feel bad so much as feel like saying "you're pathetic", but I didn't, I just kept as far away from her as possible from then on.)

when I talk to someone I either want it to be funny or interesting. if you don't make me laugh or make me think or have shared interests, you're useless to me. what else can this person provide to me? a lot of people don't think that way. they're all about collecting as many friends as possible regardless of who they are. why do they do this?

people sometimes are taken aback from my bluntness. I appreciate bluntness and pure honesty. how can you not? some people are just plain afraid if it.

[ms.peachy]

if you don't make me laugh or make me think or have shared interests, you're useless to me. what else can this person provide to me? a lot of people don't think that way.

Well dude, I mean, you are free to live in the world however you see fit, and if this approach to life is serving you well, then, you know, so be it. Personally I can't relate to it at all. Something I have learned in life is that actually everyone is interesting in some way. Not necessarily likeable, but interesting. And maybe not at first, but given time, most turn out to be fascinating on some level. I don't really categorize people according to whether they are 'useful' to me or not, it seems a very narrow way to view relationships to me. (Although I will say, it's quite Chinese, very guanxi.) I guess I tend to view everyone as potential useful in some way, maybe in ways that will reveal themselves further down the road. And if they don't, well, so what; unless they are actively toxic (in which case I have no problem cutting them out of my life), they're just, like, neither here nor there, no big deal.

Like I say, if your way of looking at the world is working out well for you and providing you with happy, healthy, satisfying relationships, then that's cool. But if it isn't, then I'm just saying, maybe the issue isn't everyone else.

[TurdBerglar]

well what are you suppose to do with someone that just wants to talk to you about their trip to the bank. or what they made for dinner the night before. if the bank didn't get robbed or you just made some plain old spaghetti for dinner why would you even bring it up? there's plenty of people that just want to talk about themselves and that's it no matter how dull it is. why should I put up with that? that person is useless.

[ms.peachy]

I dunno man. I'm not trying to tell you you have to like things you don't and if you're genuinely not interested then of course you shouldn't pretend, it's insincere. I'm just thinking if someone told me what they made for dinner, there's a bunch of possibilities there for jumping off into conversation. I'd probably go somewhere like:
-Do you just use the sauce straight out of the jar, or do you like to jazz it up with other things? I'll usually chuck in some stuff like chopped up olives or capers, or make it spicy with some chilies, just whatever I've got on hand.
-Do you enjoy cooking? Who was the better cook in your family, your mom or dad? What's your favorite thing to make?
-Did you ever think about taking any cooking classes, like in some type or style of cuisine you haven't tried? I keep saying I'm going to take a proper Chinese cooking class, but never get around to it.

I mean I wouldn't barrage them with questions, those are just examples of how I'd get the conversation started. But here's the thing: I'm genuinely interested in hearing the answers, and seeing where it goes. If you don't give a shit, you don't give a shit, and that's fine, I'm not going to try to convince you you should. I'm just saying, some people aren't all that interesting on the surface, but I've found that under the surface, everyone's got a story worth telling and worth hearing. But like I said, if you don't want to be bothered, that's your choice; I just don't think it's fair to moan about how boring people are to you if you haven't made any effort yourself.

[TurdBerglar]

it's not that they're boring it's that they're putting in the nagging EFFORT that I don't want from them. I find that rude. some people just don't get it or have a difficult time accepting when anyone is not interested in them. why do they expect me to be interested in them? why are they so full of themselves?

if I try to strike up a conversation with someone and I get shut down, I brush it of and move along. isn't that the normal thing to do?

[TurdBerglar]

a lot of people are so terrified to bring up anything different/interesting because it may reveal something quirky about themselves. people are so concerned about what others think of them it limits their expression of their personality. so they resort to bullshit small talk that's fucking pointless and mind numbing. I want nothing to do with those people.

[ms.peachy]

Fair enough.

[Dorothy Wood]

Im with ms p. Sometimes you have to draw out the interesting bits from people. If it's too hard to do, or what's presented isn't interesting to you, then remove yourself from the situation politely. I think the disconnect happens when an outgoing person expects everyone to match their enthusiasm because they get excited by meeting new people, and they meet someone who doesn't get as excited which makes them feel let down or de-engergized. It's easy to look at that person like he or she is an idiot and no matter what they say, it's going to be boring, but if you can let go of defensiveness and feelings of hatred/disgust/apathy, a worthwhile conversation can usually be extracted from anybody.

Anyway that's how I've been trying to deal with strangers or annoying people for awhile. That and just focussing on spending enough time alone and seeking out experiences outside the home with people I know I for sure get along with.

Hope that makes sense I'm like half asleep.

[TurdBerglar]

I have no problem with the drawing out. I tend to get people going on things they normally wouldn't talk about. it's the people that come at you at 100 miles an hour with complete inane bullshit. all this energy being put into fucking blabbing about something they saw on some reality show or whatever is popular at the moment. they go on and on about this easy pop culture shit. you can tell the only reason they're into this stuff is so they can use it to fit in or they're just too afraid to not fit in so they don't talk about anything else. the people that are concerned about being labeled dorks/nerds/dweebs/weirdos to any extent.

these people also tend to be the people the clamor for acceptance and attention from anywhere they can get it and have a hard time dealing with being shot down.

[M|X|Y]

maybe there's something about you that attracts these types of people? what could that be?

[TurdBerglar]

i don't know but people always have a very wrong perception of me before they get to know me.

[Dorothy Wood]

Maybe it's a problem with their epigenetics?

I heard some sociologist talking about how Americans have deep rooted histories of ADD and anxiety because basically a large percentage of the population is descended from people who were restless and not fitting in with the society they were born into, so they migrated here. So now tons of people are just always seeking. compelled by their unconscious history and moulded by epigenetic mutations to seek relief via any means. Like theyre not even sure why they need stuff (attention/money/things/status), they just do.


Anyway, I think that could be true. I definitely get along better with British strangers better than American strangers, they're generally infinitely more polite and observant. Had dinner with some chick my boyfriend used to work with and her husband and his friend (girl was American, dudes were from England) recently and it was very easy to talk to the men, the chick just was overbearing and asking me to tell my life story basically and I nearly had a panic attack because of it. Whereas the dudes were like asking me about scorpions because I was wearing a dead scorpion encased in plastic as a pendant.

I mention that because they were coming from a more established and refined society, so their human interaction instincts were more nuanced and polite.

[ms.peachy]

i don't know but people always have a very wrong perception of me before they get to know me.

Can you really not see the irony here?

[ms.peachy]

I mention that because they were coming from a more established and refined society, so their human interaction instincts were more nuanced and polite.

Hm, never visited a Northern council estate, I see.

[TurdBerglar]

Can you really not see the irony here?

I don't think you fully understand what's bothering me. it's not that I don't like their surface personalities and im refusing to get to know them better. it's that they're forcing me into something I didn't ask for. they're trying to force this type of friendliness onto me that im not looking for from them as if I SHOULD want it. and there's all this anxiety coming from them. they could be great people but their persistence and anxiety is very unsettling to me. overbearing is a great way to describe it.

and I've also noticed as well that the british people I've met are much more laid back. and that theory is very interesting.

[Dorothy Wood]

Hm, never visited a Northern council estate, I see.

Well obviously I don't mean that all English people are the same politeness-wise, I know there are tactless people everywhere.

But considering I work with the public, English and Irish folks are above and beyond the nicest and most respectful people to interact with. Also people from New Zealand. There's just a different tone to their mannerisms...it's more "I don't mean to trouble you, but may I ask for your assistance?" than the typical American "do this for me now." attitude. Which I think relates to Turd's problem, he is forced to interact with people who demand that their needs are met, and he thinks those needs are frivolous. I tend to agree and so Im now convinced that turd and I are related.

[TurdBerglar]

and I think my city Is just full of weirdoes. like this random dude would not leave me the fuck alone. he must have saw me sit down and I felt someone looking at me so I looked up and he made eye contact with me. and as soon as I made eye contact with him i was just like.... fuck. i knew exactly what i was in store for. he slowly but deliberately made his way over to me trying to look as casual as possible. he just wouldn't fucking shutup then he asked me to tie his fucking shoes for him. jesus fucking christ. i just got up and left.

[Lyman Zerga]

cant buy emotional intelligence

[Helvete]

I cannot imagine anything like what Turd mentions happening here in the UK, well, apart from maybe crackheads and alcoholics doing shit like that. People tend to leave you alone over here, we're polite, but not overly friendly (to strangers we neither know, nor care about) and you certainly don't get people approach you and start talking about random shit.

Here's how I imagine Sean's life:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VXK41jw9Iww

[abbott]

this creeper came up to me last week. I am minding my own business reading a book and this 70 year old lady starts talking to me and explaining to me how she became a lesbian. I did not realize she was telling me how she became a lesbian until the end of her story, because her story started with her telling me about her adult kids and husband who passed away.

My first thought is WTF, who the fuck is this looser, but then I gave her a few minutes and listened.

Mom with kids that had grown up and gone, her husband died on top of her while doing it. Ran into a lady that had almost the same story as hers, both had adult kids. They moved in together and after a year become lovers.

I walked away thinking, shit if the old lady has a friend/partner/lover at this point in her life and she's happy I am happy for her. Kind of gave me this weird understanding I was not looking for. Not even sure how the whole thing happened.

Other than that, I don't have people who want to talk to me for the most part and I am the creeper trying to get friends.

What kind of bike do you have that's so cool?

[TurdBerglar]

I cannot imagine anything like what Turd mentions happening here in the UK, well, apart from maybe crackheads and alcoholics doing shit like that. People tend to leave you alone over here, we're polite, but not overly friendly (to strangers we neither know, nor care about) and you certainly don't get people approach you and start talking about random shit.

Here's how I imagine Sean's life:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VXK41jw9Iww

this is a daily occurrence if you spend any time downtown. the bus/train station is full of these shitheads.

stories from a crackhead
stories form a toothless prostitute
stories from a deranged schizophrenic
stories from a vagrant strung out mushrooms

then at the end of every story they ask you for a dollar, or to tie their fucking shoes.....

[TurdBerglar]

this creeper came up to me last week. I am minding my own business reading a book and this 70 year old lady starts talking to me and explaining to me how she became a lesbian. I did not realize she was telling me how she became a lesbian until the end of her story, because her story started with her telling me about her adult kids and husband who passed away.

My first thought is WTF, who the fuck is this looser, but then I gave her a few minutes and listened.

Mom with kids that had grown up and gone, her husband died on top of her while doing it. Ran into a lady that had almost the same story as hers, both had adult kids. They moved in together and after a year become lovers.

I walked away thinking, shit if the old lady has a friend/partner/lover at this point in her life and she's happy I am happy for her. Kind of gave me this weird understanding I was not looking for. Not even sure how the whole thing happened.

Other than that, I don't have people who want to talk to me for the most part and I am the creeper trying to get friends.

What kind of bike do you have that's so cool?

this is when headphone mode goes into effect and you just get up and walk away.

[Kid Presentable]

Did abbott just creeper you, turd?

[TurdBerglar]

a little bit :(

[abbott]

:(

I am the creeper. At 41 I am slowly learning. I did have my first sober birthday since I was 12, so I have that to creep people about now.

[Freebasser]

I felt someone looking at me so I looked up and he made eye contact with me. and as soon as I made eye contact with him i was just like.... fuck. i knew exactly what i was in store for. he slowly but deliberately made his way over to me trying to look as casual as possible. he just wouldn't fucking shutup then he asked me to tie his fucking shoes for him.

That reads just like a dog-eared page from an erotic thriller.

[pshabi]

nope. too many people just live and die for attention. it's petty.

Oh, the irony.

[Dorothy Wood]

Oh, the irony.

You really think turd just started this discussion for attention?

[TurdBerglar]

PLEASE TALK TO ME!!!!!



no actually, don't

[ms.peachy]

You really think turd just started this discussion for attention?

Well first of all the reason any of us starts any thread is for attention. We have something to say, we want to put it out there for people to read it. If we didn't want people to look at it, we wouldn't put it out there. Right?

But no, that is not at all what I meant. The irony was that he said "people always have a very wrong perception of me before they get to know me", right after we'd had this exchange about, um, the value of getting to know someone before deciding if they are 'useful' (his word, not mine) or interesting or not.

[TurdBerglar]

you are not useful if you're overly concerned about receiving attention. anyone who is overly concerned about themselves for the most part are pointless because everything they do or say is about themselves. how the fuck are you suppose to talk to someone that only cares about themselves and what others think about them? all they're gonna wanna talk about are things that directly pertain to themselves and paint them in a light that they think is going to make them look good/not wierd. like going to the bank and cooking spaghetti.

[Dorothy Wood]

Well first off I was quoting and questioning pshabi, because well if you go back you can see what he was quoting. Unless you're secretly pshabi?

I get why you thought what he said previously was ironic. Though I think it's different. I think there is more depth to turd's concerns. There are people who will just suck the life out of you for selfish reasons whether consciously or not.

I realize my aunt is a life sucker. She'll talk to strangers forever, once we were at a museum and she had to sit down because she was quite overweight at the time and very tired from walking. I continued on and then came back for her and she introduced me to a woman she'd been chatting up for an extended period of time and the woman looked petrified. I wanted to be like "I'm so sorry!" but I was like "okay come on let's get going", and took her away. She was all happy and pumped from the conversation, but I'm guessing she did most of the talking. And before my aunt officially went off the deep end trying to reclaim her youth a couple of years ago, when she would visit me, all I could do to survive around her was leave for a little or just not talk, she would say "DOROTHY! You're so mellow! You're so mellow!" and punch me in the arm. But I wasn't even being mellow on purpose, I was subconsciously trying to even out the intensity by getting super reserved and slow-speaking.

And when she and my mom were young, she was super mean to my mom because she was an introvert and not outgoing and popular like my aunt.

Ack, this is getting too personal, but can you see what I'm saying? I also remember my aunt constantly asking me why I didn't have any friends when I was in high school and I once broke down and yelled "nobody likes me! Okay?!" because I just didn't fit in, I didn't even want to. And so I don't even visit that town anymore, I made my life about things and people that suit me and now my life is better. My introversion has helped me in the long run, and I think people just need to accept that everyone doesn't want or need to be talking all the damn time. And that weirdo introverts aren't assholes, they just don't have instincts that seek out aural and verbal stimuli like extroverts do.

Anyway, I think posts on here are less about getting attention and more about seeking understanding.

[ms.peachy]

Well first off I was quoting and questioning pshabi, because well if you go back you can see what he was quoting. Unless you're secretly pshabi?


Oh right, my mistake. I thought it was my earlier thing. My bad.

[ms.peachy]

you are not useful if you're overly concerned about receiving attention. anyone who is overly concerned about themselves for the most part are pointless because everything they do or say is about themselves. how the fuck are you suppose to talk to someone that only cares about themselves and what others think about them? all they're gonna wanna talk about are things that directly pertain to themselves and paint them in a light that they think is going to make them look good/not wierd. like going to the bank and cooking spaghetti.

Can I ask how old you are? That's not a dig, it's an honest question, I really have no idea. The reason I ask is because the way you describe events in your life, not just in this thread but other stories you've told, it just seems like you surround yourself with really immature people. Which I guess if you're really young is somewhat inevitable, but if you are pushing towards or are into your 30's, I don't get why you don't hang out with more grown-ups. Again I don't know much abut your life so I don't know what industry you are in or whatever, but the way you go on about people, I just get the feeling that you need to, like... move or get a new job or find a whole new social circle or something, if all these people around you are the way you describe them. Because it sounds like you are terminally in some weird high school purgatory.

[TurdBerglar]

I don't think it has anything to do with an age thing. these people are of all shapes sizes and ages ranging from family members to complete strangers that are just out and about in the public. these are not the people im choosing to be in my life. the people that I do choose are perfectly fine by my standards. I just find a lot of people to be incredibly self absorbed and overly self concerned when others see it as the norm because it has become accepted somehow.

and im not saying that there's so many people like this that I can't avoid it. I just had a day when I was creeped on like three fucking times and was wondering in frustration why this shit happens or if im the fucking weirdo because I want nothing to do with a lot of people.

[Dorothy Wood]

Oh right, my mistake. I thought it was my earlier thing. My bad.

No prob, and I didn't mean to sound so bitchy. I shoulda put a :P