We announced today

[Waus]

That we're having a baby on Facebook. I was kind of hesitant, to be honest. The wife was pretty powerfully depressed about how long it was taking and how hard we were trying for a while. Anyone who posted anything on Facebook that she saw sent her into the blues, and we actually had to stop going to some social events we were a part of because too many people had babies or got pregnant.

I don't believe in boycotting the joy of others, ever - but I'm still having a hard time figuring out how to be properly happy about new life when it's such a source of pain for some people.

[ms.peachy]

Well hey, that's great news. Congratulations!

I do understand what you mean, about not wanting rub your happiness and good luck in the faces of others. About 6 months before I got pregnant (really, absurdly easily, like on the first try), I have a friend who had been trying for years, had had IVF, had had miscarriages, then had gotten pregnant but had terminated the pregnancy at about 20 weeks because there were some very severe problems, serious disabilities. It was harrowing and heartbreaking and the emotional stress nearly ended her and her husband's marriage. So it was very hard for me to tell her I was pregnant, as it was so unfair.

(As it happens, about 18 months later she got pregnant again on their very last chance at IVF, and today she and her husband are the proud parents of an amazingly wonderful little girl with the most gorgeous red curls. So, a happy ending for all.)

[Adam]

Having worked many years in Health Visiting I've learnt it's very hard to get pregnant. Yet accidents do happen and luck is abound.

There is always the ones who managed to have sperms who can fight their way through a condom meeting an egg ready primed to be fertilised, but if you ignore those anomalies (that are bound to happen when there is seven million people in the world) the majority of people find it hard to get pregnant - a lot of things have to be right and require lots of sex.

And congratulations.

[abbott]

Nice.

enjoy it.

[checkyourprez]

don't not enjoy your life because of the issues of other people.


why enjoy a meal, when there are starving people all over the world?


the world is the way it is, all you can do is work hard, be a good person, and enjoy the fruits of your labor.

[Waus]

don't not enjoy your life because of the issues of other people.
why enjoy a meal, when there are starving people all over the world?
the world is the way it is, all you can do is work hard, be a good person, and enjoy the fruits of your labor.

See, I agree with this in spirit - but the reality of how much it genuinely sends other people struggling to get pregnant into actual depression hangs heavy. The one who told the story where I got the phrase "don't boycott the joy of others" was actually a Jesuit, and he was talking to a nun that refused to eat with a group she was traveling with.

Things like Facebook can compound these issues I think - we only get to see the good news in other people's lives, rarely the bad. Of course, I personally would always want to celebrate anytime someone is pregnant that I see - but how can I speak for my wife when wave after wave of friends post about their baby bump for months on end?

I think part of "being a good person" in this respect is knowing the difference between gloating and celebrating.

[Lyman Zerga]

congratulations (y)

weird that some women can pop out babies like toast and other struggle so hard getting pregnant atleast once in their lifetime

[checkyourprez]

congratulations (y)

weird that some women can pop out babies like toast and other struggle so hard getting pregnant atleast once in their lifetime

yeah, and then go on public assistance for them too! wooop wooooo



:cool:

[Waus]

yeah, and then go on public assistance for them too! wooop wooooo


That's kinda true, too. I have a relative who just keeps having kids despite what a bad idea it is. One *after* he had a vasectomy (don't ask).

It seems like he's a pretty good dad, but sometimes a terrible adult (e.g. don't buy new tattoos when you can't buy milk).

[nodanaonlyzuul]

(e.g. don't buy new tattoos when you can't buy milk).

Dude, I see this ALL the time. And I like tattoos, I have one even and want another. But I took a while because I needed to have the spending cash to do it. It is NOT cheap. So when I see people with kids or lots of kids and they complain how they cannot afford things that would be helpful to their kids lives then turn around and get a tattoo...

What?!

Anyhow, as you said above, part of being a good person is about knowing the difference between gloating and celebrating.

Congratulations to you and your wife!

[Dorothy Wood]

Congrats!

Sorry you have mixed feelings about the facebook announcement. I tend to think people post too much about their babies/kids on facebook, but I like seeing updates and special moments shared. I know a lady who never puts pictures of her kids on there, just tells funny stories about things they did. I like that better than a million preggo pics or infant pics where everyone exclaims how PRETTY the mom and/or baby is. Or one girl I know from college who had a tiny baby and posts pics of it constantly and everyone just says "she's so tiny". It kinda freaks me out, like her tininess is to be admired or something, like, "oh thank god she's not one of those fat babies", lol. I have noticed that the cuter babies are more popular on facebook and that weirds me out too. Because man, that sucks if you have an ugly baby and then you post pics and people aren't like, "SHE'S BEAUTIFUL! *25 likes*", they're more like, "oh, she looks just like your husband *3 likes*" haha.

I think probably if I was trying to make a kid and couldn't, facebook would make me sad. I guess it currently only makes me sad when I see my friends having kids now because I'm like, "where'd they get the money to do that?!" :(


Anyway, I took this thread somewhere else, sorry. I hope everything goes smoothly with the pregnancy and that your baby is a nice quiet one!

[Waus]

Congrats!
I know a lady who never puts pictures of her kids on there, just tells funny stories about things they did.

I love this too - this one lady (girl?) I was only really acquainted with in highschool tells hilarious little anecdotes about her kids and I think she seems nice now.

You're right about the money though - we're just getting by for the time being until I get another full-time job, so it takes a certain zen attitude not to just lose my shit constantly.

[Adam]

When is it due?

This thread was seven months ago, guess around two with the annoucement so...

[M|X|Y]

many congrats(y)

[Waus]

When is it due?

This thread was seven months ago, guess around two with the annoucement so...

Wow, you're on it. We just had her on the 10th at 1am. We haven't announced it on Facebook yet, which is mostly just due to the fact we haven't sorted out our pictures and picked one.

Thanks for the well wishes!(y)

[Adam]

Congratulations!

[Lyman Zerga]

yay babies (y)