over-thinking things before it even happens

[nodanaonlyzuul]

I just had a phone interview for a job opportunity that is pretty ridiculous, in a good way.

I graduate next month (finally, after a long-time delay due to financial reasons), so it's nice to have someone interested so soon, but it isn't completely totally in the field I've studied for. After I expressed some concern over that, they acknowledged it and noted that I would be doing some stuff with what I've studied. The other major component would be things that I have experience with but didn't think would turn into a career. Why? Because it has always been a hobby I didn't think I'd legitimately get a job out of it.

ANYHOW so it's kind of an amazing opportunity. I have a second phone interview soon, and they may even fly me out by the end of the month if things keep going well to meet everyone.

BUT

BUTTTTTTTTTT
(butts)

The job is in another state and totally not where I was even planning on living. I was planning on staying where I am now or moving to LA, mostly to be closer to my little brother and family in general. My husband's family lives in SoCal as well so that was another plus (though he doesn't care about that himself, heh). I've been talking about moving closer as a goal for a while now.

Then this came up.

I asked for a pretty high salary and requested that I have relocation assistance if they did offer me the job, but... another state? What?!

I feel so torn. But I'd be stupid to say no to the job, too.

ALSO WHY AM I THINKING ABOUT ALL THIS WHEN THEY HAVEN'T EVEN OFFERED ME THE JOB YET?

^That really was my point to this post and instead I rambled. Sorry.

[Waus]

What state? Kind of makes a big difference.

[ms.peachy]

Here's what I can tell you as a fellow over-thinker:

- The work that I do now has almost nothing whatsoever to do with what I studied in college and what I thought I wanted to do with my life. But I love my job.
- Almost all of the best stuff that has happened to me in life happened by at best 20% planning and 80% serendipity. I mean, I certainly never planned to live in China. And here I am. And life is good.

[Waus]

- Almost all of the best stuff that has happened to me in life happened by at best 20% planning and 80% serendipity.

This is fantastic advice. My wife is working in education now - a job she got while pursuing nursing and health degree stuff. Loves education now.

[nodanaonlyzuul]

What state? Kind of makes a big difference.

Colorado.

Thanks for the feedback, ms.peachy. It's one of those jobs that (even though it only involves half of what I studied), if located in California, I'd have zero doubts about it. It really is just the location.

I really, and I mean really, wanted to live closer to my little brother. This takes me further away. :( But then if I were to get it and say no, it also sets a bad example for my brother, right? If he sees his big sister be offered a job is already my hobby that I love, then to see me say "no" to it, would be a bad thing I imagine.

Also the industry the job is in isn't super ideal for women due to it being a "boys club" generally, but that's another conversation entirely.

[nodanaonlyzuul]

Second interview confirmed for tomorrow. Potential flight at the end of the month to meet people if we move forward.

NERVOUS NAUSEA.

Do you all ever get this mean little voice in your head that tries to tell you even if you do get something you want, that you won't be good enough to handle it or be good at it?

The voice needs to shut up.

[Waus]

For what it's worth, Colorado can be pretty cool.

There's some boring as hell stretches west of Denver, but lots of it seems populated by urbane outdoorsy types. Rent is expensive, but in my experience it's about the same as any other reasonably populated area.

Good luck!

[Dorothy Wood]

Second interview confirmed for tomorrow. Potential flight at the end of the month to meet people if we move forward.

NERVOUS NAUSEA.

Do you all ever get this mean little voice in your head that tries to tell you even if you do get something you want, that you won't be good enough to handle it or be good at it?

The voice needs to shut up.

Yes, that happens to me every time I even think about applying for a job.

Colorado is okay, I was born there and loved the mountains, but haven't been back in over 20 years.

I think if the job pays well and has generous vacation time, you could always fly back to California a few times a year.

[RobMoney$]

I'm going through a similar thing myself. I live in S.Jersey now about 30mins outside Philly.

My wife was offered the opportunity of a lifetime, but the company is located in New Hampshire. They made her a pretty sweet deal.
Six figure salary, signing bonus, relocation package, they're putting her up in a hotel for the first three months and paying for her to fly home every other weekend and paying for me to come up three times for house hunting trips. The entire weekend is on them. Meals, drinks, everything when I go up.

She accepted the position of course. We're in the process of selling our home in Jersey now.

I think you HAVE to take it. That's what I told my wife too.
Life's too short to be held back by anything, or to forever regret being afraid to go after your chance at success.
Hopefully your husband is willing to fully support your dream.

[kll]

In my opinion, salary and where this job could lead you are major factors. I assume your husband would have to find a new job. Could you afford to support the two of you for as long as it takes for him to find one? If this is all a 'yes', then I would seriously consider it. How old is your brother? I'd hate to see you move to LA just to have him get a great opportunity elsewhere just to have you separated again. Plus, if you're in or close to Denver, that's a non-stop flight on several airlines. Not bad for frequent visits.

[nodanaonlyzuul]

Second interview had to be moved to Wednesday. On their end they had some scheduling issues since now three people will be interviewing me.

I still feel a little torn about it but again, I haven't been offered the job yet so I should chill a bit.

Thanks for the feedback everyone. My husband actually works remotely, so he can literally work anywhere. I talked to him about it and though we aren't crazy about the location, we both agreed that if they offer it to me and with the salary I want, which would allow me to fly back several times a year, then I should do it.

My brother is 15 btw. Which is kind of why I wanted to move closer as he's at the age where I'm sure it'd be nice to have a sibling around instead of just parents. My brother really loves my husband too, and looks up to him. He looks up to us both though and I thought it would just be a great idea for us to be around more. But, again, if the job doing something I already love doing as a hobby and it is offered to me then I don't take it, that sets a poor example for him (I think).

[Gareth]

sounds like a good opportunity
i'd go...unless colorado is an awful place to live
but i say that as someone who left all his friends in london/amsterdam to move to sydney for a job
i barely know anyone there as well

[checkyourprez]

Colorado is a pretty cool ass state.

i thought you were going to say something like Idaho or North Dakota.


Could be much worse.

[nodanaonlyzuul]

Yeah, it could be worse.

p.s. second job interview went well. They didn't even grill me, they just said I am a perfect fit and really at this point they just want to make sure that the job sounds like something I want to do, that I like the team, and that I want to move to Denver.

So they are making arrangements now to fly me to Seattle to meet everyone while at a gaming convention. Then after they will fly my husband and myself out to Denver to check it out before I commit.

...

WHAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAT!!!!!!!!

[ms.peachy]

That's pretty awesome. Ride the wave, see where it takes you.

[Waus]

Colorado for real.

Apparently as of January we're even going to have legal recreational weed here.

[DandyFop]

Ahh! Exciting! I mean I thnk after you go to Denver you'll have a much better idea, but yeah, even though it's a 'hobby', I mean who wouldn't want to make a living at their hobbies? Denver is a gorgeous town and, I mean, I live in LA but if I didn't have to be here I wouldn't.

Good luck!

[checkyourprez]

CA has always been my top relocation state, but Colorado is in the next elite group of states I wouldn't mind living in.

Fuck it, you're young. Try it and if its not for you luckily you're not a slave and you can leave when you want. In the very least it will be an experience that will help you grow as a person, and at the best you may just fall in love with the place and find out it was something destined to be.