Why is everyone so fucking stupid?

[Dorothy Wood]

I probably already made this thread. I'm just constantly disturbed by it.

Today some guy came in at 12:15 to meet someone at 1. I was like yeah you're 45 minutes early, she's not here.

And some woman just bought something and said $52? Last week they were $50! And I was like they've never not been $52. So she was like ok maybe I paid $52.

And dude who's like is this the price? Oh you mean the number with the dollar sign on the price tag? Yes, fucking what the fuck else would that be?


And just like people and their fucking dumb preconceived notions about everything! Ugh! Shut up you dumb motherfuckers!!!!!


I need something to punch.

[Dorothy Wood]

Wow I was pretty mad there. I think I'm getting a cold. I'm not so mad now, but I'll probably never not be mad. That's sad.

I wanna go somewhere where everyone is smart, does that exist?

[RobMoney$]

You probably need to find a job where you don't deal w the public.
I know I could never function in a retail job.

[Yetra Flam]

Take up boxing. I'm totally serious.

[Dorothy Wood]

Yeah I've thought about boxing. I don't really want to fight anyone though.

And I'm just crabbin, I also saw cute dogs and ate good food and had a good conversation with my coworker. Met an elderly couple who were very cute and kind to each other. I should focus on the positive. It's just hard sometimes.

[ericlee]

Don't know how many times I'd be standing outside of the doorway at work and it has 60 Wall Street written above both doors in big letters. People come up, look at the building number, "is this 48 Wall Street?"

Then some want to know where the Merrill Lynch bull is but they don't know what the fuck to call it. "Excuse me, where is beef" "I'm looking for golden ox" "BIG COW".. So I would tell them how to get to the damn thing and they totally walk in the opposite direction.

Cabbies dropping people off on a one way street, blocking the street until they finish their drop off. A cabbie behind him impatiently honking their horn. Once the cabbie up front finishes his drop off and moves, the impatient cabbie pulls up to the same exact spot where the guy in front of him was doing a drop off to drop his customer off!!

[Guy Incognito]

I was sitting next to my boss the other day, there was only me and her in the area. i am a nearly 40, tall white man with facial hair called Ian, She is a short, indian lady in her early thirties with long dark hair. Somebody came over to us and asked "which one of you is Ian?" being totally serious. unbelievable

[Dorothy Wood]

Well maybe he didn't want to assume Ian wasn't the lady's name?


I forgot another dumb thing from yesterday, about five minutes before close I was tackling a pile of paperwork and tidying up when two friends with milkshakes burst in. I greeted them. One guy said to me immediately, "the temperature outside is PERFECT *slurrrp*", and I look up from my paperwork and say "oh uh huh, can I help you find anything?" and he was like "no we're just browsing!" and then looked around 30 seconds and said to his friend "come on let's go." I think basically I disappointed him because I didn't match his energy.

The dumbest part was, when I went outside 15 minutes later, expecting "perfect" weather, it was humid as shit!

[Echewta]

http://butterdressing.ytmnd.com/

[Bob]

you don't have to fight if you take up boxing! most boxing gyms* will let you just train on the bags and shit, with coaches showing you the technique and guiding you through the workout. you don't have to fight if you don't want to, the training itself can be a lot of fun and a great stress reliever. the heavy bag in particular

*i make this assessment from having been to one boxing gym one time but i assume they're all like that

anyway. i work at a job with no customers (at least, none that i have to speak to ever), but i have some awful bosses who make the job suck. if it's not customers, it's bosses. most likely it's both

you could start your own business and be your own boss, of course! but then you'd have to deal with customers, otherwise you'd never make any money. and you'd have employees, who i bet are even worse than bosses

[Dorothy Wood]

Hmm, the thing about boxing is I'd have to like talk to people and buy shit. I could just box on my wii or something I guess.

Actually, I've been waiting weeks for this new state of the art rowing facility to open on the river sorta near my house. I'm obsessed with the idea of kayaking through the city by myself. Or like sitting in a sweet indoor rowing center just working out looking at the sky through big glass windows. I ride my bike by there every couple of weeks, but it's still being constructed.
http://studiogang.net/work/2011/chicagoriverboathouses

I'm really trying to find a way to be happier. It is really hard. I think I just need to be patient and keep trying though.

I've been trying to do comedy but I realize it makes me really upset sometimes, the whole scene, what you have to do to be in it...the late nights, the extreme lameness of most of it. And just seeing the inner workings kinda takes the magic away. And I was trying to be a comedy writer too mostly, but I fucking hate most things that are written. I want to smash everything to bits and scream in people's faces "YOU GOT PAID TO WRITE THAT SHIT?! YOU DUMB FUCK!" and plus it's so much about just controversial headlines and click bait. Basically if I want to do my own thing, I have to do it on my own time and not try to make money with it. There was a kind of sweet job I thought about going for, but I realize I'd be basically reading a bunch of legal shit and then trying to translate it and make it funny and easy for people to understand. Which is great, except for the part about reading all the legal shit.

oh well, maybe I'll still try to be funny for a living. I just wish pimping yourself out wasn't part of it. Sometimes I think I should just go back to school for something technical. Just be in a lab figuring shit out. You still gotta deal with dumb people I bet though.

[Dorothy Wood]

Dumb fuck looks really menacing in all caps. I also wanted to say I'm sure it's not just comedy, any creative field is going to have frustratingly awful people exceeding in it. I've come to terms with it in some regard. I don't swear or yell this much in real life.

[Bob]

you could take a few lessons and then buy a heavy bag, some wraps, and some gloves, and just do the rest yourself. i really want you to box for some reason!!

yeah, comedy's hard. i've kind of all-but-quit doing stand up. i was doing the open mics for a while, and doing ok, but then suddenly work got really hard and stressful and i had to work late nights and just didn't feel funny or motivated enough to go out and do it anymore so i took a break. work's gotten better, but the break hasn't stopped, i think i lost my drive. the idea of going back to an open mic, and doing my old jokes again...i dunno i don't like it, it feels icky, if that makes sense

to really make it in comedy, or even to give it your best and not make it for that matter, it's so much goddamned work, there's no way to make it happen unless you really love it, you have to give it your everything. you work a day job 40 hours a week (at least) to pay the rent, and then you have to spend your nights and weekends on comedy, it's your life. if you half-ass it and take too much time for yourself, then you aren't ever going to make it (unless you're some kind of comedy savant), because nobody's going to remember or give a shit about you when you do bother to show up.

i just don't have the drive apparently, it feels too much like work too often and i don't feel as up to it as i expected i would be. or maybe my job-hate is affecting me more than i thought, i dunno

i haven't quit stand up, but i've been saying that for over a year, i'm not sure when i'm ever going to do it again. i'm still doing improv, though who knows how much longer that will last. i'm in a group, and it's doing alright (i talk about it on a podcast (http://directory.libsyn.com/episode/index/show/chicoimprov/id/2453670) recently!), but most of the people in it are involved in bigger and better things. i figure it's only a matter of time until they get too busy for it and we disband and then who knows what happens to me after that. i haven't done a terrific job of networking in the scene, nobody knows who i am enough to pick me up for anything.

whatever happens, nobody will be able to say i didn't try! but they could accurately say that i didn't try very hard

this thread's about me, right?

[ms.peachy]

There's a scene in the beginning of American Splendor when the main character, as a teenager, is confronted with some ordinary enervating situation and he says "Jeez! Why does everyone have to be so stupid all the time, anyway?" It's become a bit of a catchphrase for me & mr.p when faced with people who are being dumb shits. Which is often. Because a lot of people really are dumb shits.

[ericlee]

I have been breaking the ice with this cute lady that walks her dogs near my work. Finally I'm coming out of my shell and talking to her whenever I can. We have much in common, same dress style, musical interest, etc.

I ask her what is she doing this weekend and she said resting, it's been a long work week. She asked me what I'm doing and I said recovering from a cold but I may venture out. She asks if I will be in the area and I told her no, I stay away from work on the weekends. She was kind of hinting on us to hang out with each other but my dumb ass was too stupid to catch on. It's all good though, I did pass my number on to her and we are currently communicating.

[mikizee]

I did pass my number on to her and we are currently communicating.

For some reason I read this in Schwarzenegger's Terminator voice.

I deal with slot machine gamblers all day, so you could say I deal with dumb shits for a living. The staggering quotes of total dumbassery I get from these people on a daily basis could write a sitcom.

[Kid Presentable]

Government = fuckery central.

Boxing training will be the best decision any of you make exercise-wise.

[miss soul fire]

Take up boxing. I'm totally serious.

I'm doing this for nearly 4 years and it works!!

[Dorothy Wood]

you could take a few lessons and then buy a heavy bag, some wraps, and some gloves, and just do the rest yourself. i really want you to box for some reason!!

yeah, comedy's hard. i've kind of all-but-quit doing stand up. i was doing the open mics for a while, and doing ok, but then suddenly work got really hard and stressful and i had to work late nights and just didn't feel funny or motivated enough to go out and do it anymore so i took a break. work's gotten better, but the break hasn't stopped, i think i lost my drive. the idea of going back to an open mic, and doing my old jokes again...i dunno i don't like it, it feels icky, if that makes sense

to really make it in comedy, or even to give it your best and not make it for that matter, it's so much goddamned work, there's no way to make it happen unless you really love it, you have to give it your everything. you work a day job 40 hours a week (at least) to pay the rent, and then you have to spend your nights and weekends on comedy, it's your life. if you half-ass it and take too much time for yourself, then you aren't ever going to make it (unless you're some kind of comedy savant), because nobody's going to remember or give a shit about you when you do bother to show up.

i just don't have the drive apparently, it feels too much like work too often and i don't feel as up to it as i expected i would be. or maybe my job-hate is affecting me more than i thought, i dunno

i haven't quit stand up, but i've been saying that for over a year, i'm not sure when i'm ever going to do it again. i'm still doing improv, though who knows how much longer that will last. i'm in a group, and it's doing alright (i talk about it on a podcast (http://directory.libsyn.com/episode/index/show/chicoimprov/id/2453670) recently!), but most of the people in it are involved in bigger and better things. i figure it's only a matter of time until they get too busy for it and we disband and then who knows what happens to me after that. i haven't done a terrific job of networking in the scene, nobody knows who i am enough to pick me up for anything.

whatever happens, nobody will be able to say i didn't try! but they could accurately say that i didn't try very hard

this thread's about me, right?

All those boxing things sound like they cost money...hmmm. A friend of mine is starting to teach aerial fitness, I reallllly want to try that. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nUHvCQEbuZw It's like the opposite of boxing though.


OHHH MY GAHHD, Bob, I hate podcasts so much. Why were they talking about buckets for 15 minutes? You did a good job though, you are efficient with your words. No offense to your buddies.

Improv seems like it's kind of like being in bands. Some people quit after a couple years, others keep on going for decades.

I haven't made very many connections in the improv or comedy theater world, so much of it is just so corny and unfunny to me (and everyone seems to be younger than me). Luckily though, there are some more weird/absurd comedy collectives forming, probably out of frustration with the mainstream garbage being churned out by all the training centers in this town. I think a lot of people have figured out that it's a money making scheme to trick all these dorks into thinking they can be on SNL some day. no offense to dorks, they just don't know. Bus loads of Iowans show up every day trying to make it because they read Bossypants. blah, I'm a snob.


Anyhoo, I have some stand up buddies, but I feel like I don't really fit in with them either. I can't hang around rapid fire joking with them like I can with my non-comic friends. It's too competitive.

I do feel a tremendous urge to make a go at comedy when I see bad stuff though because I'm always like, "ffff, that's not funny, HERE's what's FUNNY!" and then perform an amazing act (in my mind). My favorite local comedian and another comic hosted a show once not too long ago with a great line up, everyone was killing, the room was buzzing...until a famous-ish stand up (not gonna type his name because he probably googles himself regularly) made a surprise appearance and was just really arrogant and bombed because of it...kept talking about hipsters, making fun of what the audience was wearing...which was odd because it wasn't a hipster bar or crowd, and he was making fun of normal people who probably bought their clothes at Target. Anyway, he started reverse-heckling my boyfriend (which is what I like to call bad crowd work), and he didn't know we were funny people who would bite back. Long story short, I got more laughs than the comedian from tv. And the show's hosts bought us drinks. It was very surreal. And it made me feel like I was important and should be doing comedy...but then I didn't stay after and talk with the comics, we just went home (actually, my boyfriend made us go home because we had been there for 5 hours, and I cried when we got home because of the missed opportunity and because too many boozes. but then I forgot about it and now I'm back to where I was before, just thinking and not doing.)


Well Bob, now the thread is about struggling with comedy! I think there's something to be said for taking a break and really thinking it through before figuring out exactly how you want to implement your comedic voice.


I tried to write this while listening to the podcast so sorry if it is too long or confusing because writing+listening is hard.

[Bob]

well to be fair to them, i think that part of the reason they talk so much is that i talk so little. it's something i struggle with, my first instinct in any conversation is to make my point as quickly as possible and then shut up (partially because i've noticed i'm easily interrupted and i want to make sure i make my point before that happens), which i feel is a fine trait that most people should have, but it's no good when you're trying to fill time with a big long story about stuff

[Dorothy Wood]

well to be fair to them, i think that part of the reason they talk so much is that i talk so little. it's something i struggle with, my first instinct in any conversation is to make my point as quickly as possible and then shut up (partially because i've noticed i'm easily interrupted and i want to make sure i make my point before that happens), which i feel is a fine trait that most people should have, but it's no good when you're trying to fill time with a big long story about stuff

Nope, I won't be fair! :p They talked over you, I was waiting for you to finish what you were saying and almost every time they jumped in with a tangential comment or quip. I mean, it's a normal thing that happens on talk radio and podcasts and it's part of why I can barely handle listening to them at all. As an outsider, not knowing who you guys were IRL or what you were talking about, you had the most to say and said it the most clearly. Sometimes I kinda couldn't tell who was saying what and if I was mixing you up with one of the hosts, but then I realized it was because they were just talking so much that you weren't talking. As hosts I thought they should've showcased you more or help build on what you were saying instead of interrupting. I mean, I don't know much about improv structures and I felt like they didn't really facilitate the explanation of them, just kind of mentioned them without going into depth, and cut you off a lot when you were about to say anything of substance.

Anyway, I don't really listen to a lot of podcasts (that was maybe my 5th), so maybe I'm just not used to following along. It's just like a cacophony of voices to my ears.

And I don't mean to be harsh, I just have a hard time sugarcoating my opinions.

[zippo]

omg am i lazy today or what, theres too much to read in this thread, cant we have a voice recording app for this forum? and we dont even have likes yet? no tagging people?!!

[M|X|Y]

And you expect people to write raps?

[zippo]

i know, right

[Dorothy Wood]

seriously though?! ahahahhaahhhhhhhhhhhhhhh!

today was a bad day encountering so many dumbs. How does a man with a job and a nice car not understand how inches work? How does a grown woman not understand what "remodeling" is? "why are you having a sale?", "we are remodeling as all the signs say", "are you moving?", "no, we're remodeling", *blank stare*

Why would you leave you baby carriage containing a baby in the doorway of a shop? then also see that other people want to come in and have to walk around your baby carriage and yet you do not move said baby carriage?

How do you not know what shape very common and recognizable states are when you are currently living in the states? and seemingly a united states citizen.

Since when is a medical chart a "map of the body organs"? (well, maybe it is, but it sounds dumb to say it.)

Also people running in the busy street against traffic...cabs almost running me over in the crosswalk...people turning left into me while looking right at my face....

dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb dumb.

okay I feel better now.

[Lyman Zerga]

Why would you leave you baby carriage containing a baby in the doorway of a shop? then also see that other people want to come in and have to walk around your baby carriage and yet you do not move said baby carriage?


i hate people like that, just hope the baby turns out better

[TurdBerglar]

people who don't know how to cross the fucking street. some people just don't know how to do it! lets step off the curb right into traffic when you're 20 feet or so from a fully functional cross walk! lets walk right into traffic and wait at the double line while pushing a kid in a stroller! lets walk down the side of a narrow street when there's a perfectly good sidewalk 6 inches away! lets walk out between two parked cars on the side of the road and get pissed when someone doesn't see you! lets push a carriage full of bottles and cans down the middle of the lane!

when people do that shit with their young children in tow really shits me. then when they get hit, for some reason it's not their fault. it's the driver's/city's fault...

last year some young mother got off the bus and walked out into traffic and got hit and killed. the kid in the stroller survived. but for some reason everyone was blaming it on the driver/city. it was her own damn fault for not using the crosswalk that was literally 50 feet away. oh but she had a long day and the crosswalk was too far away! the city should have more crosswalks! the bus driver shouldn't have left her off at that stop! why couldn't the bus driver just drop her off on the other side of the road! the driver shouldn't have been traveling at the speed limit at dusk! the city should have more street lights!

how about this bitch was just an idiot?