that chick(dude) you work with

[TurdBerglar]

that you actually have a better relationship with than your actual girlfriend(boyfriend).

you see each other more often. you eat lunch with them much more often. you get along better. you have all these inside jokes and make each other laugh all day. you have better conversations. you've know each other much longer. you seem to understand and have more respect for each other.... and so on.

and you can cut the sexual tension between the two of you with a knife.


going to work is like stepping into a completely different life.

[Dorothy Wood]

UH OH....

I do have a coworker that I enjoy, she's a lady, and I don't want to bang her. Though if I were a dude I would marry her. We're just on the same page with a lot of stuff. except for about Miley Cyrus, she hates Miley Cyrus.


So yeah, wait, what happened/what's happening?

[TurdBerglar]

nothing's happening or going to happen. I just seem to always make these friendships with girls that are taken. or in situation where they can't be your girlfriend. like it starts off as a normal friendship/acquaintanceship then somewhere along the line it becomes full of weird sexual tension.

girls that are looking for a boyfriend or just don't have one seem to creep me out. they're full of all this anxiety. and I seem to give my girlfriends a ton of anxiety. girls that are already in a good relationship or are just not expecting one are so confident and content and just natural. so they don't make me feel uneasy. so I just naturally shoot the shit with them and develop this seemingly good friendship with them. and I don't know why it always seems to dissolve into this weird sexual tension that's not at all one sided or appropriate.

the whole girlfriend/boyfriend relationship is fucking weird. there's all this unnecessary superficial shit that gets pulled into it that makes it more work than anything else. kinda(really) spoiling it. that girl at work who you have pretty much the same relationship as your actual girlfriend minus the fucking just seems so much more fulfilling because you're not holding each other accountable for all that weird unnecessary superficial shit that you expect from one another if you were actually dating.

[Dorothy Wood]

Yeah platonic relationships are definitely less stressful.

As for the sexual tension, I've decided there's no way to get rid of stuff like that. You just have to refrain from acting on it. I feel like sexual attraction is a normal part of friendship with the opposite sex (or same sex, depending on where one lies on the spectrum). I'm good friends still with dudes I banged or made out with in the past. We don't talk about it to our current partners, and would probably feel somewhat mortified if they found out, but it hasn't ruined our friendships.

A good lady is hard to find, so I can see why it's frustrating. I started up with my dude when I was casually dating someone else, so I definitely understand the "I gotta man" confidence making a difference. No offense to the single ladies.

[TurdBerglar]

then there's that disgusting chick(dude) that wants to show you tit(dick) pics of themselves on their phone. it's amazing how some people just don't seem to know what's appropriate or when they're hated.

[Dorothy Wood]

Whoa. I was gonna say I've never seen that, but once this girl took a polaroid of her crotch (wearing underwear) and kept showing everyone at a party. I thought it was annoying. She moved away though so no more antics to witness from that chick. I think she got married like two years later. Those "wild" chicks always seem to get married by 25-26.

[TurdBerglar]

a friend of mine is dealing with this chick that he works with. I know who she is. she has the worst reputation of anyone I've ever met. she's just known as being an absolute disgusting nutty whore. everyone seems to know who she is because of that. she pretty much flat out tells him if he wants some pussy he knows where to get it ;). I guess she's been like that since childhood according to people that grew up with her. her father is my boss so I have to deal with her from time to time and he just shakes his head at her. the few times that we cross paths it's the same situation that my friend is going through just not nearly as extreme. we're absolutely disgusted by her and so are most dudes that come across her. no matter how much he ignores her she doesn't get it. in fact she gets more and more persuasive and desperate the more he ignores her. he's never even spent time with her. the other day she came up to him and just showed him her nasty tits on her phone. all like... I know you like to party, I'm a good party all by myself ;).

what makes it even worse is that she's VERY well liked for some reason. she seems to have the ability to manipulate people to like her. she's a very sad person to witness. I think she's a histrionic.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Histrionic_personality_disorder

that's her to a tee.

[Dorothy Wood]

Wow, ive never heard of that disorder but the characteristics are familiar. Interesting that there's a name for it.

I think it's ok when a woman is forward and has a lot of sexual partners, but it's off putting when it's so desperate...and confusing when people respond favorably to it. Which is seemingly often, which is extra confusing.

I witnessed a young lady a few nights ago acting very forward in an embarrassing way and I thought about just taking her aside and being like "please stop, the bartender is not going home with you and you're scaring the band, also everyone can tell you're jutting your tits out on purpose. Just calm down."
Because it doesn't have to be that way. Just enjoy yourself and the people around you and let things happen naturally. Sheesh.

[TurdBerglar]

this girl is more than a case of just being overly forward. I think she has serious issues. I don't think she knows what normal rejection is. it needs to be overly dramatic and traumatizing in order for her to notice it.

it must work for her though. why else would she keep doing it? she must get rewarded for this behavior. who are those desperate shmucks that keep rewarding her?

a whole generation of people know of her in my city just for being a crazy whore. how does that happen and you don't fucking care! why doesn't she care!

shit like this fascinates me.

[Dorothy Wood]

She'll probably go on forever like that. My mom's ex husband's mother was like that. She was nutty and slutty in her youth and an adulterer in her marriage. Then as on old lady she was still a weirdo. Awful to my mom, competitive with her in a creepy way like "I don't know if you're able to feed my son like I can." when I first met her she was like "I'm your grandma now, you need to come visit me! On your own, so we can get to know each other!" I was like yeah...nope!

Some people are weirdos for life.

[Adam]

We came up with a phrase for it at a few jobs (about 10 years) ago and they are now my now my best friends as a group.

Work wife/husband.

Definately had crushes on work wives but I could never see it working. The whole concept spread though so bosses or those mother/paternal types became work-parents and co-workers you see now and then but not often outside work became work-cousins.

Some of us have moved jobs so when you think every work place has this dynamic it becomes awkward when you call someone your work-wife.

I think the phrase help put anyone getting ideas above platonic back into reality... i.e. "We can't date, we're only work-married"

[TurdBerglar]

that's fucking weird. a while ago this other girl referred to me as her work boyfriend. which I felt was a bit weird. especially since she was engaged/married the whole time we worked together.

one day she was all excited to see me and I was just all like.... hey, sup. I don't think that I was excited enough to see her for her liking.

she pulled me aside and was all like.... don't you ever miss me??? I just looked at her then walked away. all like... the fuck is this shit???? it seemed to make her really upset. I didn't know what to say. who the fuck asks somebody that? I only talked to her because she was funny and cool. she was fucking engaged. she was super forward and inappropriate a lot of the times with me. I didn't know what to do because I really liked talking to her because she was really funny and interesting but I didn't want any of the potential drama. I was always torn between avoiding her and talking to her. we worked together alone a lot. I think we spent more time in each others company then we did with anyone else in our lives at that time.

I bumped into her recently and she straight away said something very flirtatious. I didn't want to deal with that shit. it bothered me that she just couldn't have a normal conversation with me even after not seeing each other for a few years.

it all seems very silly and childish but it stressed me out dealing with her.

[Dorothy Wood]

I don't really understand the romantic titling either. I skimmed an article about Jessica Alba and her business and she mentioned a "work husband". I don't get it.

It's just work buddies, you shoot the shit...and maybe know tons of personal details about them. But why the romance angle?


And dang turd, you broke that lady's work heart. :(

[cosmo105]

That's messed up that she was all butthurt. Flirting is all well and good as long as it's INNOCENT. If you have a significant other, you do not get to be upset when someone doesn't reciprocate the flirting! That's just not fair.

[TurdBerglar]

I don't understand why guys and girls have such a hard time talking to each other the same way guys talk to each other(and maybe how girls talk to each other? im not really sure how girls talk to each other without guys being around them).

girls make it so completely different. they expect different kinds of social interplay. they want all this special attention and ego buffing and positivity. it's like they want to feel that others overtly accept them. it seems you can hurt a girls feelings if you're just not excited enough to say hi to her. why are you ladies always so damn excited to talk to people? I don't understand why it just can't be..... hey, sup. casual blah blah blah. there's seems to be all this weird tension and some anxiety and excitement when dudes and chicks talk to each other. or it's just me being a weirdo and not playing by the rules again. or deep down underneath it all we all just want to fuck each other regardless of who we are and it causes a lot of weird shit.

[Kid Presentable]

That's messed up that she was all butthurt. Flirting is all well and good as long as it's INNOCENT. If you have a significant other, you do not get to be upset when someone doesn't reciprocate the flirting! That's just not fair.

How can flirting be innocent if you are in a committed relationship?

[Lyman Zerga]

How can flirting be innocent if you are in a committed relationship?

(y)

[cosmo105]

Hey, not that I necessarily personally condone it, but a lot of people in healthy relationships flirt to a degree. It all depends on your definition of flirting, I guess. Some people are totally cool with it. I don't think I would be, personally, but that's just how my relationship is.

Also Turd, that's probably because women are told since birth that our worth is seated in our looks and our attractiveness to men and many of us don't feel valued unless we're being given attention. It sucks and it's a symptom of bigger societal problems.

[ms.peachy]

I don't really see any problem with a little bit of flirting. No touching, no innuendo, nothing overtly suggestive; but a little bit of eyelash fluttering and the odd compliment here and there make life pleasant.

[Kid Presentable]

Needy.

[Dorothy Wood]

I don't think I'm good at flirting. My flirting was always insult based. I think the baristo at the coffee place I go to flirts with me. I brush it off. I'm not rude, I just don't play into compliments. I probably would if I were single though.

I guess because I was around so many dudes in my social formative years, I heard plenty of complaints about girls who tried too hard, so I avoided being like that. These days most of my best buds are married, and we all hang out together and talk about things, not ourselves. Because we've all known each other a long time.

Anyway, there are a lot of annoying dumb asses in this world, female and male.