Bridesmaid blues

[russhie]

I'm helping to plan the Hen's for a close friend and it's driving me insane. She wants two (one racy, one suitable for older members of her family) and even though she keeps saying "I don't want you to go to much trouble!" I have a sizeable list of demands to work with. Also, because two of the other bridesmaids have kids, myself and the other bridesmaid are footing the bill for both (pet hate - people who use their kids as an excuse. You're on maternity leave and can't afford much? Great! I'm unemployed, beat that).

Personally, I find hen's nights totally stupid - if you're marrying the right person, it's not the last night you'll be able to go out and get stupidly drunk and embarrass yourself. You'll still be able to enjoy nights with the girls, and party till dawn - you just can't pash sexy bartenders and dolphin trainers randomly anymore.

I love planning parties, and have thrown a few decent ones in my time, but I'm retiring from being a bridesmaid after this one.

[TurdBerglar]

women...

[Waus]

I like that dolphin trainers is the go-to second example.

[nodanaonlyzuul]

What a pain in the ass.

I tried to make everything as painless as possible for my bridesmaids. I planned my bachelorette myself and paid for myself. No one was required to attend. I think these parties are a great excuse to just get your friends together, but it shouldn't be some big thing where the responsibility is on someone else to plan it/make it happen. People need to calm their asses down with wedding shit.

[checkyourprez]

for real doe. for my bachelor party i want to go to Vegas. Hangover type shit. everyone pay their own way. i don't want anyone's money. i don't need anyone planning shit. i don't need raffles or any of that.

just a massive 3 day party. bossup.

[Dorothy Wood]

Eeesh! I have lucked out with my lady friends, they always seem to have an alternative ceremony that doesn't require bridesmaids. My best friend got married last year and I had some duties, but it was pretty painless. (I helped with decor and did a reading, the bride did tons of work on her own.)

I was a proper bridesmaid once when I was 22, it sucked and it was very expensive. Her shower alone had about a hundred guests...the gift opening went on forever. And if course before that I was expected to set up the hall and at the end load up all the gifts, then unload the gifts. We even had to all get our hair done (mine looked awful and cost like $60.) I guess parts of it were fun, but it was also a dry wedding. It was all dry actually, the shower and bachelorette party too.

I think I was traumatized so much by that occasion I must've only surrounded myself with friends who wouldn't think of torturing people like that. Heh.


Anyway, good luck! Enjoy the fun parts, then try to never be in that position again!

[Echewta]

I don't think there is anything wrong with saying you are on limited or have no funds to pay for it. Adults would understand.

Do dolphin trainers use whistles in bed?

[russhie]

^ Me neither, I think I might end up having a chat with the bride - it's hard though. I think the others should have mentioned this to the bride/other bridesmaids early on when they accepted the invitation to be a bridesmaid because kids don't happen overnight. If they knew they'd be on leave/have limited funds at the approximate time the festivities are going down, they should tell the bride that. It may stop her from planning two of these things. Re: whistles - I wouldn't know, I've never slept with a real dolphin trainer.

Dorothy - 100 people at her bridal shower? Yikes! I'm not sure I even know 100 people worth inviting to my actual wedding...

[bigblu89]

That "I have kids" excuse is BS. If you can't afford to go, then politely decline. Expecting the "single one" to foot the bill for you is the cheapest shit I've ever heard of.

[b-grrrlie]

My best friend got married last Thursday, she tried to make it without telling anyone... But witnesses were needed, so there was her parents, her sister, her daughter, her grandchild and me. No-one from his side... so I could say a wedding without any fuzz....

[Echewta]

Fuzz? elaborate please.

[b-grrrlie]

Fuzz? elaborate please.
OK fuss then... as in hassle, flare-up, carry-on, palaver...
Her ex-husband was called Muz so maybe I got muddled up...