you ever wonder what the hell was going on in your family before you were around?

[TurdBerglar]

why did grandma and grandpa get divorced?

why is your aunt so fucking messed up but no one else is?

you mean so and so is actually my cousin and not just a good friend of mine?

why is there so much animosity towards that side of the family?

how come when everyone gets together they all talk relentless shit about this particular family that used to be in the neighborhood? who were these people!

[Guy Incognito]

i often wish i had wondered more but there has now been waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay too much water under the bridge for me to bring a lot of it up now. its pointless finding out, i think it would only upset me.

Think thats enough info without completely giving the game away.

[Waus]

Every time I've made inquiries about old family relationships and stuff I've always regretted it.

[Dorothy Wood]

I know all the things, well, the stuff I was told.

Suicides, molestations, drugs, murder, etc.

Not any feuds with other families that I can think of. I know why my aunt is crazy: genetics, substance abuse at a young age and all the shit that happens when you're fucked up all the time and around others who are also fucked up.

I suppose I do wonder about previous generations. Like why was my grandpa so shy? He drank a lot and died young. His coworkers came to the funeral and were surprised he had a family. Weird. I know nothing about his life. Anyway I definitely inherited his shyness and depression. But at least people communicate more in this day and age, so I don't feel helpless like he probably did.


Anyway, now I want to do a family tree!

[mikizee]

My family was very middle class and non eventful.

The only thing was my mother delivered a stillborn son 2 years before I was born, had he survived I wouldn't be here.

I know very little about it and didn't even have the balls to ask her more about it before she passed last year.

[rirv]

Both my parents died before I was even ten years old. To me they are still my absolute heroes from what they did - Olympian, asylum seeker from the Soviets. I'm sure I have an idealised view of them as a result, but who cares, I cry in the shower about it.

[TurdBerglar]

I didn't expect this thread to get this real and heavy.

Dorothy, your aunt sounds very similar to mine. she's the main reason why I don't drink or anything. being at her house for family gatherings as a kid and around her clan of grimy fucked up nutty cohorts and her nervous kids gave me the most unsettling feelings I've ever had. her sense of reality is so fucking off, ever so slightly, but in EVERY direction. I think she caused a ton of turmoil for my grandparents and her siblings.

[mikizee]

Both my parents died before I was even ten years old. To me they are still my absolute heroes from what they did - Olympian, asylum seeker from the Soviets. I'm sure I have an idealised view of them as a result, but who cares, I cry in the shower about it.

Jesus. I'm sorry to read that. All the power to you my friend.

[Yetra Flam]

My Mom died about 6 years ago now, and everyone in the family speaks very highly of her. They all say she was a very sweet, kind woman and just a great person in general. All except this one aunt of mine who pretty much talks crap about her a whole bunch. She says she was cold, heartless, had a whole bunch of men, and who acted mean because she was pretty. (All of these are things she has said) I can't work out if my Mom actually was a slutty mean girl who had everyone fooled or if my aunt just has serious bitterness she's still carrying, even after my mom's death.

and also, after my father died, I was put in touch with my half brother and sister from my father's first marriage that he apparently just got up walked out on and denied them ever existing. I wonder what that was about, what kind of person just denies their children's existence?

[ms.peachy]

My daughter's name is Mathilda. When my husband and I were talking about names, we wanted to pick a name that was not a family name; we wanted something that wold be her own entirely.

So after she was born, my aunts told my grandmother - who was pretty far gone with Alzheimers by then, and had to be reminded every day who any of us were - that I had had a baby (first they had to explain who I was, of course) and she was named Mathilda. And straight away, my grandmother says "Oh! Like you Poppy's poor auntie."

And they were like, huh?

So it turns out that my grandfather (who was already deceased by this time) had an aunt (his mother's sister) that had been named Mathilda. Now, when my grandfather was a kid, around the turn of the last century, his family were really really shitbroke poor immigrants living in tenements on the lower east side of NYC. Nowadays of course the LES is uber cool and full of art galleries and whatever, but then it was utterly dire poverty, before there were any social programs in place or anything like that. As best as we were able to get the story out of my grandmother, that Mathilda had become a prostitute and probably an alcoholic, and was beaten to death in the street (a pimp? a john? who knows) when she was 19.

In the end, although we hadn't wanted a name from anyone in the family, I'm glad we chose this one, because it kind of feels in a way like maybe we are giving 'her' a second chance at a happier life, if that makes sense? I'm not a big believer in woo woo reincarnation stuff so I'm not saying that my Mathilda is the same 'soul' or anything, just, like... I dunno. Hard to explain.

[Waus]

In the end, although we hadn't wanted a name from anyone in the family, I'm glad we chose this one, because it kind of feels in a way like maybe we are giving 'her' a second chance at a happier life, if that makes sense? I'm not a big believer in woo woo reincarnation stuff so I'm not saying that my Mathilda is the same 'soul' or anything, just, like... I dunno. Hard to explain.

That's really cool. I know blah blah blah religious folks and redemption, but I think it's beautiful that the name gets a chance at being healed.

[bigblu89]

The only thing I every wonder is what my Wife's extended family says about me behind my back. Because whenever we all get together, the only thing they do is bash which ever cousin's significant other that isn't around.

The one in-law is a terrible person because he's at a ballgame schmoozing a client or some other work-related function, instead of celebrating some random family member's non-descript birthday. Nevermind the fact that the guy, after knocking up my wife's cousin, did the right thing, stuck around, married her, moved from Miami to NY to help raise his family, and took in her other son, that she also had out of wedlock.

Yes, that guy's the asshole for missing little Jimmy's 4th birthday BBQ so he can work and further his career.

Or the other in-law, that is supposedly a loser and a deadbeat because it took him a whole SIX weeks to find a new job after he was laid off, and his stay-at-home wife, who doesn't have a driver's license, so she can't possibly get a job on Long Island, had to suffer through six weeks of not getting her nails done.

My wife makes more money than I do, I never graduated college, and I'm of a mixed-heritage marriage. I can just imagine what they say about me when I'm not there.

[TurdBerglar]

sounds like a bunch of bitches

[adam_f]

I bet someone in my family has had sex before, maybe even my parents