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-   -   I wish we could still use this forum to ask for advice (http://bbs.beastieboys.com/showthread.php?t=100603)

Dorothy Wood 05-25-2019 02:54 PM

I wish we could still use this forum to ask for advice
 
I got my dream job almost exactly a year ago. And itís become a nightmare. I was really proud and on my way to financial security, but I may have to quit for my mental health. The technical, intellectual, and physical aspects are challenging and I am performing at a high level...but a lot of people donít like my personality because I donít talk enough, Iím not outgoing, but Iíve offended people by asserting my opinion on how standards should be raised. I hired 3 people in the last year and they are high performers and nice people who respect me. Many people outside my department who have the ear of the ceo are talking shit about me and are trying to gaslight me into thinking I suck and itís kinda ruining my life. I donít really know what to do about it. I have such bad social anxiety, I try to talk and stick up for myself and end up having a mini panic attack and crying. Which is interpreted as me not having my shit together.

Also, someone was shot behind my house the other day by a group of teens who got away, then a day later I was driving home from work rounded a corner and heard gunshots. I missed being in the middle of a gun fight by about 2 minutes. I was more calm and measured during all that than at work when I got an email from someone that questioned how I was spending my time.

Anyway thanks for listening old message board. Iíll be 40 in July, fuck.

NicRN77 05-26-2019 06:29 PM

Re: I wish we could still use this forum to ask for advice
 
So sorry youíve been having a rough go lately. These boards used to be a great site to vent and get advice. Sending hugs.

Dorothy Wood 05-29-2019 10:42 AM

Re: I wish we could still use this forum to ask for advice
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by NicRN77 (Post 1822214)
So sorry youíve been having a rough go lately. These boards used to be a great site to vent and get advice. Sending hugs.

Thanks, appreciate the response. :o Since posting this, I found out a lot more about whatís behind all the drama, and I understand a lot more about everyoneís behavior now. Resolved some conflicts, but basically coming to terms with the fact I should probably move on to a healthier environment because the drama is ingrained in the culture and I donít have the power to change other peopleís perspectives. Now I know itís nothing I did, Iím literally being judged based on problems I didnít create, other peopleís past behavior, and straight up imaginary problems.

Anyway jobs suck, I dunno why itís so hard to find a workplace where people arenít dicks. Prob gonna have to start my own biz.

NicRN77 05-29-2019 12:25 PM

Re: I wish we could still use this forum to ask for advice
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Dorothy Wood (Post 1822225)
Anyway jobs suck, I dunno why itís so hard to find a workplace where people arenít dicks. Prob gonna have to start my own biz.

They sure do. Iíve been dealing with a narcissistic woman at my job. It isnít so easy to ignore her. Plus, we are nurses so her actions affect human beings. She is a terrible person.

TurdBerglar 06-03-2019 10:05 PM

Re: I wish we could still use this forum to ask for advice
 
I don't have any advice, but listen to this fucking song

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uqdPsHbPY1E

Dorothy Wood 06-05-2019 06:05 PM

Re: I wish we could still use this forum to ask for advice
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by NicRN77 (Post 1822226)
They sure do. Iíve been dealing with a narcissistic woman at my job. It isnít so easy to ignore her. Plus, we are nurses so her actions affect human beings. She is a terrible person.

That sucks. Some people get so wrapped up in their personal identities at work. Iím just like can we please just do our jobs? This one woman was a friend and I knew she talked mad shit about other people, so I shouldíve known sheíd do the same to me eventually. But sheís ďpopularĒ, and kinda curates social activities, and Iíve been excluded since I got promoted, which is sad. But I just have to get over it. I pissed her off at some point probably because I took away some of her duties because her work was too inaccurate, it was just unacceptable to me and the previous supervisor hated it too but never did anything about it. She just doesnít think any of her mistakes are a big deal, one or two ok, but it was like 40% of the time. Thatís too many mistakes! Geez! Iím not mean because I wanted clerical errors to stop happening so often.


Quote:

Originally Posted by TurdBerglar (Post 1822251)
I don't have any advice, but listen to this fucking song

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uqdPsHbPY1E

Heyyy, nice! Didnít know they were coming out with new stuff (y)

abbott 06-07-2019 07:11 AM

Re: I wish we could still use this forum to ask for advice
 
fuck the haters, they will be wherever you go so no need to leave

a good CEO will see the truth and all you need to do is worry about yourself and do your job

47 for me this month, fuck!

Dorothy Wood 06-07-2019 05:43 PM

Re: I wish we could still use this forum to ask for advice
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by abbott (Post 1822270)
fuck the haters, they will be wherever you go so no need to leave

a good CEO will see the truth and all you need to do is worry about yourself and do your job

47 for me this month, fuck!

Iíve never met this many haters in my life, Iím over it. Already got a job interview on Monday somewhere else. :D

bigblu89 06-12-2019 08:43 PM

Re: I wish we could still use this forum to ask for advice
 
For the most part, people are the worst.

abbott 06-13-2019 11:26 PM

Re: I wish we could still use this forum to ask for advice
 
weill there is a time when a new job is best.

Dorothy Wood 07-02-2019 08:55 AM

Re: I wish we could still use this forum to ask for advice
 
Quit yesterday, it was weird as fuck. I gave two weeks, but got paid out because Iím kinda disgruntled and was honest about it. So now I have 3 weeks off before I start my new job. Learning a new trade, so the pay is low, but there are benefits and more time off, it should be interesting and after 90 days Iíll get a pay bump if I do good. Cheaper than going back to school at least (y)

NicRN77 07-02-2019 06:05 PM

Re: I wish we could still use this forum to ask for advice
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Dorothy Wood (Post 1822364)
Quit yesterday, it was weird as fuck. I gave two weeks, but got paid out because Iím kinda disgruntled and was honest about it. So now I have 3 weeks off before I start my new job. Learning a new trade, so the pay is low, but there are benefits and more time off, it should be interesting and after 90 days Iíll get a pay bump if I do good. Cheaper than going back to school at least (y)


Sounds like you made the right move for you. Hope it all works out! 🤗

mikizee 07-07-2019 05:52 AM

Re: I wish we could still use this forum to ask for advice
 
Congrats! Here's to better mental health. I think you did the right thing, for what it's worth.

Dorothy Wood 07-11-2020 10:02 AM

Re: I wish we could still use this forum to ask for advice
 
Haha, how frivolous all that drama last year feels now that we live in a dystopian nightmare!

6 months after I quit that job, 10 people got laid off, and the company already knew they would need to lay people off...for, you guessed it, 6 months. So they were absolutely trying to lay the groundwork for my dismissal because I had one of the higher salaries. Hence the gaslighting and questioning after stellar performance reviews and a huge raise at the beginning of the year. Everyone talking about me behind my back, trying and failing to blame me for things, driving me insane, was not imagined after all. Crazy shit!

Anyway, I did really well and learned a lot at the next job but I just didnít like it very much. The commute was too long, the physical labor was too much, too many chemicals and too much physical risk. Quitting was like a break up, the owner was apparently hoping to hand the business over to me eventually (!) which was news to me...ya gotta tell someone these things. I was put in supervisory positions and site lead when I didnít really deserve it (others had seniority).

I got offered a job at a competitor to the first place I quit, after a panel interview. They said they were looking at other candidates and theyíd decide in a couple weeks, but the owner called me at 7 pm the same day to offer a position. I started 3 weeks before the shutdown, it was stressful to say the least. No PTO, still on probation, not even officially an employee, yikes. But they kept me on after things were allowed open, waived probation, put me on the books, put me on the healthcare plan. And so far no ones been a dick to me!

The world might be explode again in 6 months, but Iím ok for now. :cool:

P.s. there should be universal healthcare! Why the fuck do I have to change plans four times just to maintain my coverage while I decide what workplace is best for me? Itís stupid. Why did my new boss basically have to be a father to all his employees through this and have everybody relying on him to take care of them financially? Heís just a businessman, I donít think most business people go into business to be caretakers of the people they employee. America is ridiculous!

abbott 07-13-2020 03:54 PM

Re: I wish we could still use this forum to ask for advice
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Dorothy Wood (Post 1823505)
Haha, how frivolous all that drama last year feels now that we live in a dystopian nightmare!

P.s. there should be universal healthcare! Why the fuck do I have to change plans four times just to maintain my coverage while I decide what workplace is best for me? Itís stupid. Why did my new boss basically have to be a father to all his employees through this and have everybody relying on him to take care of them financially? Heís just a businessman, I donít think most business people go into business to be caretakers of the people they employee. America is ridiculous!

I hate to think of this healthcare system being named after me. that would suck

mikizee 07-16-2020 05:42 AM

Re: I wish we could still use this forum to ask for advice
 
Looks like everything came up Milhouse for you. Awesome.

And yeah, its quite the year. Everything just feels like every year is more bananas than the year before. I worry for my kids' future.

zippo 07-31-2020 10:32 AM

Re: I wish we could still use this forum to ask for advice
 
Aww, work environments can always be difficult. I think it's nearly impossible to find one where there's no drama, it's like something inherent to it- in a large group of people there's many similarities but also differences. and I also think it's about how one handles it, and essentially, learns to handle it because experience with this kind of crap can help you a lot. I'm sure whichever job you're in right now it might be better in part because you've learned how to handle certain difficulties, and if not, make sure to remember your past experiences because many patterns repeat: jealousy, gossip, gaslighting, bitchiness, two-facing and the list goes on and on! But these things are always going to exist. It's about how one matures and finds ways to deal with them better.
I would also say that self-reflecting helps a lot as well. You mentioned you like to say what you think and be straight with your opinions about improvements for the company. Getting your points across is also about communication skills and part of that is fine tuning the way you say things and making sure it's assertive and respectful to others.
All in all, sometimes it can be difficult but reminding yourself about your abilities and trying to care less about what others think is helpful as well.
Ughh...work environments

Miho 08-07-2020 05:10 PM

Re: I wish we could still use this forum to ask for advice
 
People should stfu and wear a damn mask.

Also hi zippo.


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