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Originally Posted by DapperDiverge
Ok, I'm about to crack!!! This is gonna sound so goddamn pathetic, but here goes.... I'm going be 21 next year and I still have never been on a date or had a boyfriend...
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Are you a minger?
If not, know the following:
1. If a guy isn't gay, infected with an STD or suffering from the runs, or dating someone hotter than you, he *WILL* fuck you. Unless you look like a guy, or are really really ugly. And really really ugly is "Obese to the point where you get out of breath having a crap" or "missing an eye."
2. Ever since the rise of feminism, most guys have been emasculated. Any guy that is going to approach you is either going to be: A playah and thus bedded more women than you've had hot dinners; a moron who doesn't appreciate the socio-dynamic truth that women hold all the cards in the flirtation game; very very drunk.
If you want to snag a guy that isn't one of the above, you have to GIVE US A GODDAMN HAND. We aren't mind readers, nor are we acrobats. If you want a lover that jumps through hoops, start fucking dolphins. Talk to a guy - initiating communication is a good sign. Don't be too subtle, make your intentions clear early on. Nothing is worse for a guy than thinking "maybe she just wants someone to talk to" and thus putting them in self-depricating, defensive and rather morose mode. Don't bother with "signs" or "hints" or clues - they won't work. They'll think you playing with your hair means you have nits, or you staring at them a lot means you are high, etc.
If they say something you disagree with, do not shut them down, open up the conversation. Instead of "No, blah." use "I think buhbuhbuh - what do you think about that?" And if you approve of ANYTHING they say or do, let them know they are on the right track with a compliment. If they say something you strongly disagree with, DON'T JUST LET THEM DIG THEMSELVES INTO A HOLE. They are desperately struggling to keep the conversation going and not seem over-whelmed by the whole experience. 1. Stop them clearly and take the conversation in a better direction. 2. Make it clear that you do not intend to let this (often misrepresentative) initial ramble prejudice against them.
This will help them to relax.
Also, take an active part in this. It should be fun for both parties - and that means him not taking you out on a date that you hate, and never getting a call-back because you didn't have the guts to tell him you hate going to hockey matches.
Buy him a drink - this subverts the usual gender roles and makes him think "hey, she is interested me in enough to go to the bar for me." - this way he'll know you are not just looking for someone to talk to for a few mins while you are waiting for a friend or boyfriend. If he's not an asshat, and you haven't done anything stupid, he'll reciprocate (just so long as he has money. Don't think the guy's a tightwad just because you caught him without his wallet in his trousers).
Any more advice needed?