[BeesTea]

Unfortunately I never had the pleasure of seeing the Boys in person but I have been a fan ever since LTI came out when I was at university. I was born in the same year as one of them and came from a somewhat similar background. I was one of the few in my high school who liked rap and when these upper-middle class boys broke onto the scene a couple of years later, I embraced their music wholeheartedly. These guys were the boys our parents wouldn't let us date.

Unfortunately my military fiance/husband hated rap and wouldn't let me listen to it. I secretly saw their documentaries over the years and once in a while, I was lucky enough to hear their music on mainstream radio.

In 2007, I was diagnosed with cancer and my husband decided that he couldn't deal with it. So he left and I had to find solace. I rediscovered the music of my youth and found out about all the wonderful albums that the Beasties had put out in the past decades. The CDs are in constant chronological rotation on my daily commute. All 3 of these guys helped me rediscover the person who I was before I was a career officer's wife.

Adam's announcement about his cancer came at the same time that I went through a double mastectomy. Although our cancers were different, his fight helped me find strength with my battle.

I never thought that the death of someone I didn't know personally would affect me so deeply but it has.

What's pleasing to the eye in the delusion of my sight is not what I find when I reach into the light
I have lost my mind
I'm walking through time
Deluded as the next guy
Pretending and hoping to find that distant peace of mind
I don't know
Who does know?
There is no
Where to go

It's not so simple as I try to wish
But then again what is?
There is no other worthy quest
So on I go

I don't know
Who does know?
There is no
Where to go
I don't know
Who does know?
Where to go
I don't know
I don't know
I don't know
I don't know