[Nuzzolese]

Me too on the nature thing! I would love to live surrounded by beautiful scenery. Mountains, evergreens, snow, and maybe live in a large but cozy log cabin. But see, I wouldn't want to be alone there because I'd want someone else to chop wood for the fireplace. My hands are delicate, I blister.

No matter how hard things get in my relationship, I just don't ever want to deal with breaking up. The division of things, finding a new place to live, worrying about how he'll manage without me, feeling like the bad guy. I don't want to feel like the bad guy or have his family hate me. I felt like that before and I don't ever want to do it again.

Vulkan gave me a Christmas present and I was so shocked I thought I was going to pass out. I actually felt dizzy, and blackness was tunnelling my vision for a few seconds. I think it was a bit of that flush of doing something wrong where you feel terrified, but also I was so touched and excited, it was thrilling.
And then I opened it and it was just a gift card, which was so impersonal I was almost embarrassed. A jewelry store. I wonder if he actually went in there with the intention of buying me jewelry and then gave up. I have no idea. He seems like the kind of person who would just give cash anyway, so I don't know. Plus, I sort of work for him in a way and all the doctors give me gifts around this time but usually it's like some cookies their wives made, or an ornament.

I got him some sunglasses, but it was kind of a joke gift and now I don't know if it's a good idea anymore. They look like ray ban way farers, and I thought it would make him smile on the inside, which is usually the only way he smiles. I guess he's like Tyra Banks, he smiles with his eyes. Ha! He's like Tyra Banks!