[carvelcake]

I'm sorry for the intrusion folks, but I have no where else to go to share my feelings. I've been contemplating what I want to say for over a week now and no one in my real life gets it. I came here because I believe you all will appreciate my memories. When I heard that Adam had cancer almost 3 years ago I didn't really think too much of it. He made it sound like no big deal and I treated it as such. I'm not going to sit here and act like the biggest Beastie Boys fan ever because I'm not. I'm ashamed to admit that after Hello Nasty (which I love BTW) I lost touch with the B-boys. I was lucky enough to see them live in 1998 in Philly on the Hello Nasty tour. I will never forget the rotating center stage, and when they played Paul Revere every single person in that arena was on their feet singing along. It was such a wonderful experience. I'm 37 and I started listening to them at age 12. I was knee deep in LTI, PB, CYH & IC all throughout high school and college. I wore Adidas because of them, I still do to this day. I drive Volkswagens because of them. My husband will only eat Carvel ice cream cakes on his birthday because of Cookie Puss. Without even realizing it, these three men impacted our lives greatly. Maybe in a superficial way, but they did none the less. As I said I lost touch with them over the years, life happened, kids, house, job. My musical taste never changed, per say, but I found myself drawn into Tool and all it's counterparts. I did not learn of Adam's humanitarian efforts until after his passing. When I heard he lost his battle with cancer last Friday, my eyes immediately filled with tears. Even now a week later I still cry when I see his face, read a touching article, or listen to their cds. I have rediscovered my love for them. When my husband and I married we joined our cd collection. We have 2 of every album from LTI through Hello Nasty. Without realizing it, MCA impacted my life. Without realizing it, 3 boys from NYC made me smile, made me laugh and made me think. I'm surprised at my reaction to MCA's passing....I don't know why its different....it just is. I feel like I've lost a life long friend, and honestly can't stop crying. I felt the need to come here and unload. All my love to Adam's family, friends, and of course Mike D and Ad Rock. I still can't comprehend that this has happened. I'm sure like others I expected to see them all into old geezer age like on the Sound of Science Anthology. Rest peacefully, Adam. You made yourself clear.