[balohna]

I think it's been a couple years since I last posted on here, so hello everyone. I've been thinking about MCA and the Beastie Boys almost constantly since I heard the news Friday morning, I've cried a few times, and I've been listening to the B-boys more than I have in years. I moved on musically, to an extent, discovering other music worthy of my obsession and respect. For a long time, the Beastie Boys were pretty much it for me. I was 10 years old when Hello Nasty came out. I heard the name "Beastie Boys" before I had any idea what they sounded like, and with the influx of boybands at the time I just assumed they were another. Then I saw the Intergalactic music video, heard Fight For Your Right on the compilation "Frosh" and saw the boys perform 3 MCs and 1 DJ on the VMAs. They won me over, easily. I bought Hello Nasty, probably the fifth or sixth CD I ever owned, and loved it. The non-rap tracks took a while to grow on me, but they did eventually. I remember listening to Dr. Lee PhD with a friend and finding it hilarious while he just looked at me like I was weird.

My fandom grew a lot when I bought The Sounds of Science. I remember hearing the first track for the first time, an adolescent Mike D screaming "BEE-EE-AY-ESTEEIYEE" into my 11 year old ears and probably scaring me a little bit. I had never heard hardcore before that. I was obsessed with the anthology. I read the booklet countless times, analyzed every track, brought it to school every day and played it on my class's CD player at lunch and during class (when the teacher was nice enough to allow) so much that people gave me a hard time about being obsessed with the Beastie Boys. I used Livewire's lyrics for a poetry assignment, and performed a dance routine to Railroad Blues with a couple of friends that year. Being kid, I didn't have a steady cash flow so it took me another year and a half or so to acquire all the albums and a few other releases. Each one made its own mark on me, especially Check Your Head and Paul's Boutique. It bothered me that nobody else my age seemed to care about the Beastie Boys, but that never discouraged me.

I actually feel like they shaped my adolescence in a huge way. My idea of cool was the Beastie Boys. Not the frat boy LTI Beastie Boys or even the hazy/creative Paul's Boutique Beastie Boys. It was the modern Beastie Boys of that era - socially conscious, accepting, mature. Yauch's write-up on FFYR really stuck with me. The first thing he says is something along the lines of "We decided to include this song because it sucks. Just kidding." which to me immediately made me accept the song as a piece of their past and no longer take it as something that would have any sort of impact one me (I was pretty impressionable... I even took "I'm shopping at Sears because I don't buy at The Gap" to heart). He also wrote about how if you imitate something enough you become it, which I used as a guideline for staying true to myself and living life they way I want to live it. Adam H's write-up on Song for the Man also had a big impact on me.

I only saw the Beastie Boys live once. September 2004 at the Pacific Colosseum in Vancouver. My friends weren't sure about going (none of them were big fans), so I just decided to buy a ticket for myself. On the floor, general admission. I was the first person to show up at the front of the building, at about 3:30 PM. I sat down in front of the door in my internet-bought Beastie Boys shirt. I was 16 and didn't know that wearing the shirt of the band you're seeing is a concert foul. I made a point of not eating or drinking anything so I wouldn't have to go to the bathroom. I think security had seen me there, because they opened the door I lined up at before any other door. I speed walked down to the floor and parked my ass against the barricade and waited for what felt like an eternity and enjoyed the dog show and Talib Kweli. I don't think I need to describe how great a Beastie Boys show is to any of you, but 16 year old me's mind was blown. I saw my heroes just a few feet in front of me, with thousands of people behind me pressing me closer. I touched MCA's hand that night, when he jumped down off the stage and ran with his hand outstretched.

Over the years I've grown to love other music, but the Beastie Boys were my starting point. They introduced me to hardcore, which introduced me to bands like Minor Threat, Black Flag and Bad Brains. Adrock's relationship with Kathleen Hanna introduced me to Le Tigre, which in turn introduced me to Bikini Kill and the riot grrrl scene. Minor Threat lead me to Fugazi and riot grrrl lead me to Sleater-Kinney, who I now consider two of my favourite bands. If it weren't for the Beastie Boys I'm not sure I would have even gone in that direction. The music I was listening to before I saw Intergalactic on the MuchMusic Countdown (which I watched every day after school at age 10) was radio-friendly rock and pop-punk.

I have never been impacted by a celebrity death before. I love The Clash, but I didn't listen to them really until after Joe died. I've never really been a Ramone's fan, so their deaths didn't have an impact on me either. When I heard Adam Yauch had died it felt like a piece of my life fell away.