View Single Post
  #25  
Old 10-23-2005, 06:33 AM
ms.peachy's Avatar
ms.peachy ms.peachy is offline
feeder
 
Join Date: Apr 2004
Location: where the heart is
Posts: 7,527
Default Re: Alone again...naturally

Do you have a handful of male friends who you think you can count on? Are you willing to risk getting your feelings hurt a bit?

Then here's what you do: get together with 2 or 3 of them and tell them "Look, you guys know me and I want you to be completely honest with me. Tell me why I don't get asked out. I know you might not want to say some things because you are afraid of hurting my feelings but please, be honest. Yes I may get a little hurt but I am a big girl and I need to hear these things. Why don't guys want to date me?"

It might be a somewhat painful experience - you may learn things about yourself that you never imagined about how you are coming across to other people. But try to listen objectively. (It might help even to record the conversation, as you might feel emotional at the time and not process what they are saying well.) And don't argue with them; in fact, don't say much at all - just let them talk. It might be difficult to not 'deffend yourself' when something they say conflicts with your view of yourself, but remember this is all about how you come across to potential partners. These guys who are your friends are actually the people in the best position to reflect back to you the things you need to know.
Reply With Quote