so i want to beat the crap out of one of my friends ...

[Dharma]

We've been friends for over 10 years. She is a great person usually.

I was at her house this past weekend and I found a bunch of bottles of hardcore liquor in her kitchen, she only drinks wine.

So I asked her why she has so many bottles ... Figuring she had leftovers from a party or something.

She said buys them for Allison (the 15 year old daughter of a co-worker she tutors)

My jaw drops ...and the argument begins!!! ...

Me: yelling at her that that is wrong on so many levels.

Her: trying to convey if Allison is going to do it, she wants her to do it at her house ... So she is safe.

We fight like sisters, so the yelling part was no big deal. But, I was so disgusted I left and we haven't spoken in two days.

Wtf?
Am I out of line here?
Or is she a complete moron?

[NoFenders]

She's a coplete moron who could lose just about everything if the 15yr old ever goes over the line. The daughter of a co-worker? Sounds like grounds for termination as well. I don't think a court (I'm not a lawyer) would have much patience for that. Not a very bright person at all. How/why would she make such a connection??

[paul jones]

give her a slap on the tits then knee her chin then tickle her until she pees her pants

[ToucanSpam]

Underage drinking in what should be a controlled environment is substantially better than her acquiring alcohol through other means and drinking someplace where something bad could happen. Not that I am advocating underage drinking, but this seems like the best option of a bad situation.

[Lex Diamonds]

How many people don't drink hard liquor when they're 15?

You're being a chump. Try to remember when you were young.

[Dharma]

Originally Posted by The Padster

How many people don't drink hard liquor when they're 15?

You're being a chump. Try to remember when you were young.

Sneaking off with your friends and having beers, smoking pot, and smoking cigerettes.. Is a part growing up ...

I am not trying be a hypocrite or sound like a prude, because I have done my fair share.

But... I am talking about strong liquor... Lots of it ... I just don't see condoning it in that matter, that poor girl is doomed to become an alcoholic...I am talking about 3 times a week she is at my friends house with other girls having mixed drinks and shots of whiskey and tequila.

Plus, it also makes me see a side to her now ... Someday when I have kids ... I don't want her anywhere near them.

[Adam]

To be fair, I wish I became an alcoholic earlier in life than what I did. So many wasted years of sensible drinking :'(

[ms.peachy]

Your friend must be out of her freakin' mind. Does she have any idea what the repercussions will be for her if that 15 year old then goes out and does any kind of stupid thing whist intoxicated, and it gets round back to her? She is being unbelievably stupid. Jesus H Christmas.

[gbsuey]

I'm thinking if you let this girls' mother know what's been goin on she'll do the crap-kicking for you.
i was drinking and smoking dope by that age but mostly whatever i could get my hands on-which at that age with not much cash wasn't a shit load.
Whatever my kids end up doing i'd like to hope they can be honest with me about it-i know i'm a helluva lot more open than my folks-but no doubt there'll be shit going on they won't want to tell me. But if i found a friend was regularly supplying them with them spirits when they're supposed to be TEACHING them i'd be like-NO BITCH DO NOT GIVE MY CHILDREN TEQUILA WHEN YOU SHOULD BE HELPING THEM LEARN STUFF(old comedy reference)......wheeee-that's the sound of it going over most of you's heads.

[Adam]

are you sure there is no back story to it?

like, she regulates how much she can drink. People buy stuff in bulk all the time. If I buy 5 bottles of whiskey then it ain't for one night, its for the whole week. Spirits are also easier to keep an eye on of how much you've drunk. Beer and larger you can end up downing a case before you realise you've posioned your blood.

[Randetica]

jail time

[Dorothy Wood]

I think that's really inappropriate. and I highly doubt your friend's preventing that girl from drinking other places. At 15, her brain is still forming and she should be discouraged from drinking. She shouldn't be getting the message from a role model that it's okay to binge drink (I'm guessing she's binge drinking).

is there any way your friend has a drinking problem?

ah, I think no matter what it's a pretty dangerous situation. especially since it's not even her kid.

I tried drinking when I was young, most people do. I didn't stick with it because my mom was adamant about me not drinking and instilled the fear of becoming an alcoholic (it runs in the family on both sides). But I knew some girls who would go over to their friends' houses who had parents who bought them drinks and some of them would just get sooo wasted and make themselves sick. it's really stupid and just shouldn't be allowed by adults. I don't think it's a necessary part of growing up to get wasted and kill your brain cells when you're a teenager. there's plenty of time for that in college.

[checkyourprez]

idk i dont necessarily have a problem with the 15 year old drinking. most people did when they were that age. but your friend really is getting into some riskay business.

its not even about the role model thing, or the brain still forming thing, because like i said everyone does it. its about her becoming a bum when she looses her job and has to wear an orange jumpsuit for a number of years. im pretty sure there is no way to explain that to police/prosecutors if you get caught.

lastly even if she does stop that girl has some serious ammunition on her to make her keep doing it now. if she says she wants to stop she can say well im going to go tell my mommie blah blah blah. your friend is in a pile.

[cookiepuss]

Originally Posted by Adam

are you sure there is no back story to it?

like, she regulates how much she can drink. People buy stuff in bulk all the time. If I buy 5 bottles of whiskey then it ain't for one night, its for the whole week. Spirits are also easier to keep an eye on of how much you've drunk. Beer and larger you can end up downing a case before you realise you've posioned your blood.

yeah see...I slipped some alcohol to my nephew on his highschool graduation day. but I doled it out to him by spiking his drinks, I didn't just give him the bottle and say "hey go to town little buddy." And my sister knew I was doing it and she was fine with it, she knew he was gonna drink in moderation. I made sure the kid had a Designated Driver and I told him to call me and I'd come get them if the DD fell through.

Still, I realize I'm not the most responsible aunt for giving him booze... I did however try to minimize the risk by making it as safe for him as possible.

I don't know what this lady is doing though. my nephew is 18, not 15.

[Adam]

^^oh yeah - 21 for the yanks... I forgot they can't hold their booze until out of their teens

I come from an Irish catholic family so maybe I'm different cus we are born into guinness, but I was given booze at 15 by my family. It was regulated and I was quickly learnt that alcopops and all those bright coloured drinks are not great - 'here, try some jamesons followed by some bushmills' I was told and I never got into the cider and crap you are supposed to drink in your teens.

[Dharma]

My issue with this situation is that my friend is supplying an underage girl and her friends hardcore alcohol three times a week, and shows zero accountability that its wrong.

Not that 15 years old drink alcohol, they do. When they can get their hands on it, which normally isn't three times a week.

I drank when I was young.. Spuratically.

I didn't have a well stocked bar waiting for me, calling my name when I was having a bad day...Allison is at a point where she is calling my friend and saying "I need to come over and have a drink" ... After having a fight with her parents or boyfriend...

This is just sick.

[ScarySquirrel]

Yet the world somehow continues turning...

I'd say it like this... it's none of your concern really, so don't bother yourself with it. Let your friend play their hand out and if something bad is going to come of it, then it eventually will and what happens is what happens.

It is what it is.

[Dharma]

Originally Posted by ScarySquirrel

Yet the world somehow continues turning...

I'd say it like this... it's none of your concern really, so don't bother yourself with it. Let your friend play their hand out and if something bad is going to come of it, then it eventually will and what happens is what happens.

It is what it is.

So when she ends up morgue after a drunk driving accident (yeah know that thing that RARELY happens in LA) I am sure my conscience will be clear.

[wanton wench]

the squirrel is right though. it may be scary but he is right.

if you want you conscience to be clear then go ring the girls mom and tell her.

just remember, your actions will always cause a reaction.

[Dharma]

Originally Posted by wanton wench

the squirrel is right though. it may be scary but he is right.

if you want you conscience to be clear then go ring the girls mom and tell her.

just remember, your actions will always cause a reaction.

I have to deal with this directly on with my friend ... I am thinking of going over there tonight and taking all of the bottles and smashing them on her driveway ... There's a good $400 worth ... And if she replaces it for these girls, I might reconsider having her as a friend...

[Dorothy Wood]

don't do that! maybe just steal the bottles. if you go all crazy with them, she won't take you as seriously, she'll just be angry with you.

this is funny, but I'm concerned enough about this to have just called my friend who's a social worker/therapist. she hasn't called me back yet, but I thought I'd say what I think.

I think that what's happening is bordering on abuse and is wrong. there's also a little something wrong with a woman who wants to hang out and drink with a 15 year old 3 nights a week. I'm not saying any of it is intentional though.

I think you should definitely talk to your friend and see if something's going on with her, that she thinks this is a normal thing to do. she'd gotta have something missing in her life that is oddly filled with socializing with teenagers and getting them to like her with alcohol.


I think it's wrong to stand by and do nothing. alcoholism is a serious thing that destroys people's lives. If this girl is already growing dependent on alcohol it is a serious situation because it's getting imprinted as behavior that alcohol is necessary to cope.

your friend is the adult, this 15 year old is a child who is absorbing the world around her in order to learn how to function as an adult, she needs to remember that.


sorry to ramble, I just got really upset by squirrel and wench's comments. :/

[Dharma]

I went over there this afternoon while she was at work and put all of bottles in the trunk of my car and left a note that says:

"you know my brother died of a drug overdose, you really can't expect me to walk away and do nothing after telling me you give teenagers alcohol. I don't think you've seriously thought about what the consequences are"

Its not word for word, but that was the jist of it. At least now I don't feel a weight on my conscience.

[checkyourprez]

what you really need to do is introduce her to pot. once she sees how much better weed is than alcohol she will stop drinking and you wont even have to deal with the situation anymore.

[Dorothy Wood]

Originally Posted by Dharma

I went over there this afternoon while she was at work and put all of bottles in the trunk of my car and left a note that says:

"you know my brother died of a drug overdose, you really can't expect me to walk away and do nothing after telling me you give teenagers alcohol. I don't think you've seriously thought about what the consequences are"

Its not word for word, but that was the jist of it. At least now I don't feel a weight on my conscience.

good job, maybe she'll stop and really think about what she's been doing now.

[checkyourprez]

Originally Posted by Dharma

I have to deal with this directly on with my friend ... I am thinking of going over there tonight and taking all of the bottles and smashing them on her driveway ... There's a good $400 worth ... And if she replaces it for these girls, I might reconsider having her as a friend...

and another i wanted to address. $400 worth? WTF! im am assuming its not grey goose and other top of the line shit. so that means its less pricey type of stuff. average 1.75 liter is like 25/30 give or take. average liter is like 15/20 give or take. so you're talking like 15 bottles here? for real for real?

[Dharma]

Originally Posted by checkyourprez

and another i wanted to address. $400 worth? WTF! im am assuming its not grey goose and other top of the line shit. so that means its less pricey type of stuff. average 1.75 liter is like 25/30 give or take. average liter is like 15/20 give or take. so you're talking like 15 bottles here? for real for real?

Now that I have the bottles, I can give a better estimate ... 11 bottles ... About $250-$300

SCORE!

[checkyourprez]

and this was all for this girl? does your friend just casually drink and had a little bar for her own personal use than invited her young protege to drink from it when she wanted? or did she buy them all exclusively to drink with the girl?


i think that will let us see deeper into this situation.

[Dharma]

Originally Posted by checkyourprez

and this was all for this girl? does your friend just casually drink and had a little bar for her own personal use than invited her young protege to drink from it when she wanted? or did she buy them all exclusively to drink with the girl?

i think that will let us see deeper into this situation.

My friend only drinks wine, and has a glass every night. That's why I asked about the harder stuff, which led to her telling me she supplies a girl she tutors and her friends with alcohol and a place to drink "safely" ...

So those bottles were exclusively for that girl and her friends.

I am leaving town back to LA tomorrow and she lives in Santa Barbara .. So I had to think quick because I can't be here to see what she is doing, so this afternoon I came up with the idea of grabbing the goods and leaving the note that might shake her up since it mentions what happen to my brother.

There isn't really much I can do now, I could kick her ass but that won't solve anything.

[ToucanSpam]

Confrontation will lose you a friend, potentially. SS is right, it is what it is.

[Randetica]

Originally Posted by ToucanSpam

Confrontation will lose you a friend, potentially. SS is right, it is what it is.

the easiest way is usually the wrong way which brings you straight to hell


i would feel guilty doing nothing about it