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I wish we could still use this forum to ask for advice
I got my dream job almost exactly a year ago. And it’s become a nightmare. I was really proud and on my way to financial security, but I may have to quit for my mental health. The technical, intellectual, and physical aspects are challenging and I am performing at a high level...but a lot of people don’t like my personality because I don’t talk enough, I’m not outgoing, but I’ve offended people by asserting my opinion on how standards should be raised. I hired 3 people in the last year and they are high performers and nice people who respect me. Many people outside my department who have the ear of the ceo are talking shit about me and are trying to gaslight me into thinking I suck and it’s kinda ruining my life. I don’t really know what to do about it. I have such bad social anxiety, I try to talk and stick up for myself and end up having a mini panic attack and crying. Which is interpreted as me not having my shit together.
Also, someone was shot behind my house the other day by a group of teens who got away, then a day later I was driving home from work rounded a corner and heard gunshots. I missed being in the middle of a gun fight by about 2 minutes. I was more calm and measured during all that than at work when I got an email from someone that questioned how I was spending my time. Anyway thanks for listening old message board. I’ll be 40 in July, fuck. |
#2
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Re: I wish we could still use this forum to ask for advice
So sorry you’ve been having a rough go lately. These boards used to be a great site to vent and get advice. Sending hugs.
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#3
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Re: I wish we could still use this forum to ask for advice
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Anyway jobs suck, I dunno why it’s so hard to find a workplace where people aren’t dicks. Prob gonna have to start my own biz. |
#4
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Re: I wish we could still use this forum to ask for advice
They sure do. I’ve been dealing with a narcissistic woman at my job. It isn’t so easy to ignore her. Plus, we are nurses so her actions affect human beings. She is a terrible person.
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#5
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Re: I wish we could still use this forum to ask for advice
I don't have any advice, but listen to this fucking song
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uqdPsHbPY1E |
#6
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Re: I wish we could still use this forum to ask for advice
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#7
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Re: I wish we could still use this forum to ask for advice
fuck the haters, they will be wherever you go so no need to leave
a good CEO will see the truth and all you need to do is worry about yourself and do your job 47 for me this month, fuck!
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#8
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Re: I wish we could still use this forum to ask for advice
I’ve never met this many haters in my life, I’m over it. Already got a job interview on Monday somewhere else.
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#9
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Re: I wish we could still use this forum to ask for advice
For the most part, people are the worst.
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#10
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Re: I wish we could still use this forum to ask for advice
weill there is a time when a new job is best.
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#11
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Re: I wish we could still use this forum to ask for advice
Quit yesterday, it was weird as fuck. I gave two weeks, but got paid out because I’m kinda disgruntled and was honest about it. So now I have 3 weeks off before I start my new job. Learning a new trade, so the pay is low, but there are benefits and more time off, it should be interesting and after 90 days I’ll get a pay bump if I do good. Cheaper than going back to school at least
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#12
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Re: I wish we could still use this forum to ask for advice
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Sounds like you made the right move for you. Hope it all works out! 🤗
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#13
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Re: I wish we could still use this forum to ask for advice
Congrats! Here's to better mental health. I think you did the right thing, for what it's worth.
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#14
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Re: I wish we could still use this forum to ask for advice
Haha, how frivolous all that drama last year feels now that we live in a dystopian nightmare!
6 months after I quit that job, 10 people got laid off, and the company already knew they would need to lay people off...for, you guessed it, 6 months. So they were absolutely trying to lay the groundwork for my dismissal because I had one of the higher salaries. Hence the gaslighting and questioning after stellar performance reviews and a huge raise at the beginning of the year. Everyone talking about me behind my back, trying and failing to blame me for things, driving me insane, was not imagined after all. Crazy shit! Anyway, I did really well and learned a lot at the next job but I just didn’t like it very much. The commute was too long, the physical labor was too much, too many chemicals and too much physical risk. Quitting was like a break up, the owner was apparently hoping to hand the business over to me eventually which was news to me...ya gotta tell someone these things. I was put in supervisory positions and site lead when I didn’t really deserve it (others had seniority). I got offered a job at a competitor to the first place I quit, after a panel interview. They said they were looking at other candidates and they’d decide in a couple weeks, but the owner called me at 7 pm the same day to offer a position. I started 3 weeks before the shutdown, it was stressful to say the least. No PTO, still on probation, not even officially an employee, yikes. But they kept me on after things were allowed open, waived probation, put me on the books, put me on the healthcare plan. And so far no ones been a dick to me! The world might be explode again in 6 months, but I’m ok for now. P.s. there should be universal healthcare! Why the fuck do I have to change plans four times just to maintain my coverage while I decide what workplace is best for me? It’s stupid. Why did my new boss basically have to be a father to all his employees through this and have everybody relying on him to take care of them financially? He’s just a businessman, I don’t think most business people go into business to be caretakers of the people they employee. America is ridiculous! |
#15
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Re: I wish we could still use this forum to ask for advice
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#16
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Re: I wish we could still use this forum to ask for advice
Looks like everything came up Milhouse for you. Awesome.
And yeah, its quite the year. Everything just feels like every year is more bananas than the year before. I worry for my kids' future. |
#17
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Re: I wish we could still use this forum to ask for advice
Aww, work environments can always be difficult. I think it's nearly impossible to find one where there's no drama, it's like something inherent to it- in a large group of people there's many similarities but also differences. and I also think it's about how one handles it, and essentially, learns to handle it because experience with this kind of crap can help you a lot. I'm sure whichever job you're in right now it might be better in part because you've learned how to handle certain difficulties, and if not, make sure to remember your past experiences because many patterns repeat: jealousy, gossip, gaslighting, bitchiness, two-facing and the list goes on and on! But these things are always going to exist. It's about how one matures and finds ways to deal with them better.
I would also say that self-reflecting helps a lot as well. You mentioned you like to say what you think and be straight with your opinions about improvements for the company. Getting your points across is also about communication skills and part of that is fine tuning the way you say things and making sure it's assertive and respectful to others. All in all, sometimes it can be difficult but reminding yourself about your abilities and trying to care less about what others think is helpful as well. Ughh...work environments
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#18
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Re: I wish we could still use this forum to ask for advice
People should stfu and wear a damn mask.
Also hi zippo. |
#19
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Re: I wish we could still use this forum to ask for advice
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One thing I learned from my therapist friend ( who graciously sat down and listened to the whole story without charging me anything) is that some people thrive on chaos. She said I’m always trying to be pragmatic and fix things and improve things and not everyone is like that, some people love mess. Anyway, accepting that has helped me calm down and realize I can’t control other people and if I want to run a business my way, I have to create my own..which, maybe I’ll try to do one day. My partner has started a business so I’m helping him for now at least. It’s been a tough two years for me but now I’m in a place where I don’t have a ton of stress at work for the first time since high school, honestly. I work in a department with 7 men in their 40s, 50s and 60s. The first time in a long time that I’ve worked with people with more experience than me, and they know I know my shit and ironically it’s the least sexist and most respectful workspace I’ve been in. Would be cool if it paid more! Lol |
#20
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Re: I wish we could still use this forum to ask for advice
Did you end up finding resolution to this? Tough situation to be in.
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#21
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Re: I wish we could still use this forum to ask for advice
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Anyway, looking for another job. Looking to leave my industry because it’s full of assholes. |
#22
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Re: I wish we could still use this forum to ask for advice
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so I hated my field because it was so fucked. the sad thing is the truth is there and I know 1/1,000,000,000 of it. but I signed a bunch of non disclosure forms and so you cant know Non-disclosure + public servant getting paid = you looking for work dont hate the player, hate the game
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