Alone again...naturally

[DapperDiverge]

Ok, I'm about to crack!!! This is gonna sound so goddamn pathetic, but here goes.... I'm going be 21 next year and I still have never been on a date or had a boyfriend...
It irritates the hell outta me seeing these other girls that are way too fat, and way to ugly getting action and I'm not!!

It's not fair! I guess I just don't know how to flirt... I've always been sorta tom boyish... but I don't wanna dress like a ho

Does anyone have advice on how to snag one on my line...I'm getting pretty bored out here in the middle of this vast ocean...so many fuckin' fish, and nothings bitting

And trust me....there's nothin' wrong with my bate

[QueenAdrock]

Well I've only had one boyfriend my whole life, and I've had him for 4 years. Started at the very end of high school. All my friends got the mens in high school, and then I realized I was going after my guy friends who didn't want to "ruin something good." So I found him on sparkmatch.com by coincidence. We were both 100% compatible and bored, so we started to talk and then met later and dated soon after.

But I hear now the internet is hit-or-miss. You can meet some cool people that are just in the same situation as you (can't find people in real life because you're shy or whatever), but you will also meet the people who are psychopaths and online because they've gone through all the women they know. So it's hard.

I'd say look for dates before boyfriends. Just be yourself and don't be afraid to ask guys if they want to just hang out sometime, shoot some pool or something that they'd like to do. Don't make it sound serious, if it's meant to be that way, it'll take its natural course from there.

[yeahwho]

I think I have to change my sparkmatch.com criteria, "I want a butt ugly hag with a bad drinkin' habit an a mean o'l man in jail" isn't getting a single bite.

[Documad]

Everyone who advertises in our local personal ads says they like to walk around our city lakes. If that were true, the sidewalks would be jam packed.

[yeahwho]

Originally Posted by Documad

Everyone who advertises in our local personal ads says they like to walk around our city lakes. If that were true, the sidewalks would be jam packed.

I had that one for awhile, but after, like to walk around our city lakes, I had and checkout chicks asses.

No bites.

[Documad]

My friend's brother said he was "looking for a sun goddess." Apparently there aren't any in Minnesota.

[Documad]

I was googling to find a double murderer I was interested in when I found this awesome dating site yesterday.

[Freebasser]

Originally Posted by DapperDiverge

It irritates the hell outta me seeing these other girls that are way too fat, and way to ugly getting action and I'm not!!

With an attitude like that, I'm not surprised.

[Hiebz]

don't sweat it so much; I know it's annoying and takes some patience.
Find something that intrests you and keeps you motivated, and enjoy doing that. See where that takes you and if it leads to something special. I never had a girlfriend in high school, and in college I had one girlfriend for two weeks the end of my junior year. But, I kept working hard and went to do volunteer work and snagged a real good job there. There were enough people around and things to do that I enjoyed myself and became pretty used to living on my own - then, bam! I meet my wife and voila! it's going pretty damn good.

for the longest time, I always felt I was doing something wrong and felt I wasn't good enough. But, after our being together I've found out from her that there were several other women that told her I was a good catch. That's a surprise to me, cause I never really felt justified in feeling like I was something some women were missing out on until I met her.

don't know if that helps any ....

[Ace42X]

Originally Posted by DapperDiverge

Ok, I'm about to crack!!! This is gonna sound so goddamn pathetic, but here goes.... I'm going be 21 next year and I still have never been on a date or had a boyfriend...

Are you a minger?

If not, know the following:

1. If a guy isn't gay, infected with an STD or suffering from the runs, or dating someone hotter than you, he *WILL* fuck you. Unless you look like a guy, or are really really ugly. And really really ugly is "Obese to the point where you get out of breath having a crap" or "missing an eye."

2. Ever since the rise of feminism, most guys have been emasculated. Any guy that is going to approach you is either going to be: A playah and thus bedded more women than you've had hot dinners; a moron who doesn't appreciate the socio-dynamic truth that women hold all the cards in the flirtation game; very very drunk.

If you want to snag a guy that isn't one of the above, you have to GIVE US A GODDAMN HAND. We aren't mind readers, nor are we acrobats. If you want a lover that jumps through hoops, start fucking dolphins. Talk to a guy - initiating communication is a good sign. Don't be too subtle, make your intentions clear early on. Nothing is worse for a guy than thinking "maybe she just wants someone to talk to" and thus putting them in self-depricating, defensive and rather morose mode. Don't bother with "signs" or "hints" or clues - they won't work. They'll think you playing with your hair means you have nits, or you staring at them a lot means you are high, etc.

If they say something you disagree with, do not shut them down, open up the conversation. Instead of "No, blah." use "I think buhbuhbuh - what do you think about that?" And if you approve of ANYTHING they say or do, let them know they are on the right track with a compliment. If they say something you strongly disagree with, DON'T JUST LET THEM DIG THEMSELVES INTO A HOLE. They are desperately struggling to keep the conversation going and not seem over-whelmed by the whole experience. 1. Stop them clearly and take the conversation in a better direction. 2. Make it clear that you do not intend to let this (often misrepresentative) initial ramble prejudice against them.

This will help them to relax.

Also, take an active part in this. It should be fun for both parties - and that means him not taking you out on a date that you hate, and never getting a call-back because you didn't have the guts to tell him you hate going to hockey matches.

Buy him a drink - this subverts the usual gender roles and makes him think "hey, she is interested me in enough to go to the bar for me." - this way he'll know you are not just looking for someone to talk to for a few mins while you are waiting for a friend or boyfriend. If he's not an asshat, and you haven't done anything stupid, he'll reciprocate (just so long as he has money. Don't think the guy's a tightwad just because you caught him without his wallet in his trousers).

Any more advice needed?

[Kid Presentable]

I was seeing spots after todays bowel motion.

[Bob Sacamento]

Originally Posted by DapperDiverge

And trust me....there's nothin' wrong with my bate

You're as pretty as anyone else....you just need a nose job.

[voltanapricot]

Originally Posted by DapperDiverge

It irritates the hell outta me seeing these other girls that are way too fat, and way to ugly getting action and I'm not!!

Originally Posted by DapperDiverge

It's not fair! I guess I just don't know how to flirt... I've always been sorta tom boyish... but I don't wanna dress like a ho.

Flirting is natural, maybe you're asexual.

[roosta]

listen to cam'ron

[hellojello]

''it's not me, it's you.''

[QueenAdrock]

Originally Posted by Documad

I was googling to find a double murderer I was interested in when I found this awesome dating site yesterday.

I love how they make it seem like the prisoners are getting a raw deal. "Look at Murphy. Look how sad he is. He's in prison, all alone, with no one to talk to, nothing to do, and all he did was a triple homicide. Please, be his friend because he's lonely."

*Disclaimer* The Pampered Prisoner denies any responsibility for chokings, or attempted shiv-stabbings while visiting your lovah.

[Rancid_Beasties]

Yeah I agree with the asexual thing Clo said. If you haven't ever at least tried to flirt with a guy then thats probably a sign. Unless your self esteem is totally shot, which by the way you say "there's nothin' wrong with my bate", I'm guessing it isn't. Although that could just be internet bravado Maybe you should post a pic in sure shots so we can judge for ourselves.

[cosmo105]

don't stress about it. if you force it, it'll be a wreck.

[Kid Presentable]

You could get drunk and put a miniature flag in your ass.

[jackrock]

Originally Posted by Kid Presentable

I was seeing spots after todays bowel motion.

it was that fun eh?

[Lindsey_1535]

hhhhhhhhh boys...I enojuy them you shoudl too! Do that shit up and ahhhstuff...yess..and u cannnnn be nice.

[Documad]

Originally Posted by QueenAdrock

I love how they make it seem like the prisoners are getting a raw deal. "Look at Murphy. Look how sad he is. He's in prison, all alone, with no one to talk to, nothing to do, and all he did was a triple homicide. Please, be his friend because he's lonely."

*Disclaimer* The Pampered Prisoner denies any responsibility for chokings, or attempted shiv-stabbings while visiting your lovah.

When I found the Pampered Prisoner website I thought it would be about hand-wringing over how prisoners have cable TV and shit, but I was surprised to find that they actually encourage the pampering of prisoners. But some ladies found true love there.

[voltanapricot]

Originally Posted by Rancid_Beasties

Yeah I agree with the asexual thing Clo said. If you haven't ever at least tried to flirt with a guy then thats probably a sign.

Heh, I was teasing.

Stressing about it won't help, relax about it.

[Rancid_Beasties]

Originally Posted by voltané

Heh, I was teasing.

Stressing about it won't help, relax about it.

I dunno, I know plenty of relatively asexual people. Well maybe not asexual, but like a step below it, not really that interested. It doesnt mean they are celibate or will be an old maid/bachelor all their lives. It just means it doesn't motivate them as much as most people.

[ms.peachy]

Do you have a handful of male friends who you think you can count on? Are you willing to risk getting your feelings hurt a bit?

Then here's what you do: get together with 2 or 3 of them and tell them "Look, you guys know me and I want you to be completely honest with me. Tell me why I don't get asked out. I know you might not want to say some things because you are afraid of hurting my feelings but please, be honest. Yes I may get a little hurt but I am a big girl and I need to hear these things. Why don't guys want to date me?"

It might be a somewhat painful experience - you may learn things about yourself that you never imagined about how you are coming across to other people. But try to listen objectively. (It might help even to record the conversation, as you might feel emotional at the time and not process what they are saying well.) And don't argue with them; in fact, don't say much at all - just let them talk. It might be difficult to not 'deffend yourself' when something they say conflicts with your view of yourself, but remember this is all about how you come across to potential partners. These guys who are your friends are actually the people in the best position to reflect back to you the things you need to know.

[Echewta]

I hear you. I can't remember the last time I had a boyfriend either. Fuck. Nothing wrong with my bate either. I'm a master.

[Justin]

Im to picky. My problem has always been comparing girls to my previous ex g/f who was just perfect, but didnt work out because of distance reasons.(which i dont blame her)

I tend to look for classy women, which is hard at college.

I know what it takes to get a chick: Like starting a convo, flirting or whatever. I always felt it was the girls place to make the moves first, which would tell me they were interested in me before them, therefore setting a pace at the very start in favor of me!

The girls I have meant here are from Jersey (which about 95% of them are club whores)

There is this one chick in class that doesnt try to look sexy but she just is, I love that. But i seem never to be able to talk about anything else with her besides class

[DapperDiverge]

Thanks for the advice guys. Now that I've been thinkin' about, I guess the only reason I think I want a boyfriend is because society makes me out as pathetic if I don't have one. Besides, I'm too selfish anyways... I don't really know the meaning of compromise. I guess I'll play it like winning the lottery... if my numbers happen to come up, well, there ya go... guess I win!
Besides, if I'm going to be spending my money and my time, it's going to be doing something I wanna do...



but still, it would be nice having the company I guess

[QueenAdrock]

Originally Posted by DapperDiverge

Besides, I'm too selfish anyways... I don't really know the meaning of compromise.

I was like that before I got in my relationship. But I'm with someone who's more than willing to compromise, so I've learned to loosen up a bit and compromise as well because it's only fair. I could never be with someone as stubborn and bull-headed as I am, and it sounds like you should probably stay away from that too.