Crushes

[Dorothy Wood]

I give up. This is a stupid situation and I hate that it happened. I don't know what I was thinking, I feel like I was under a spell and now I'm not.

[zippo]

Originally Posted by Dorothy Wood

I give up. This is a stupid situation and I hate that it happened. I don't know what I was thinking, I feel like I was under a spell and now I'm not.

2 weeks seem like very little time for your feelings to have changed so extremely about the situation. if you could do whatever you wanted, how would you like the situation to be?

[Dorothy Wood]

Originally Posted by zippo

2 weeks seem like very little time for your feelings to have changed so extremely about the situation. if you could do whatever you wanted, how would you like the situation to be?

Well I've been thinking about it for four months. And I do feel like there was an extreme drop off in the intensity of my infatuation. Maybe because work got more challenging, and before I had too much headspace for obsessing. Plus he has been advancing and withdrawing to an irritating degree. Bringing up hanging out, but never confirming. Putting all the impetus on me.

Practically, I would like to not have involuntary physical reactions to the kid's voice and presence, and to be able to have a normal friendship like I do with other men.

If I could do whatever I wanted...there is no good answer. He probably loves his girlfriend and has a good relationship, just like I love my boyfriend and have a good relationship. It's confusing.

[Adam]

Recognise it for what it is - an attraction to have a wank over now and then.

There is probably good reason he isn't committing to hanging out as it'll be confusing and territory that could muck up four peoples lives rather than two.

Like lets say you hung out and he thought an advance was OK when it wasn't and that made it back to each others other halves. Then you'd have to explain to your other half why you hang out alone together when you knew the attraction was there - same for him. And also you will both be awkward around each other.

Nobody wants that level of confusion in life after 25 years old. It's never been a fun scenario to be in.

[Dorothy Wood]

Hmm, I feel like wanking over it is rude. But yeah, of course if he does like me (which isn't confirmed, but suspected), it's not a great idea to hang out...that's why I said I give up on friendship. I guess I thought I could make it work.

I may sound like a silly jerk, but honestly I need to seriously evaluate where my future is headed, because it's unclear.

Also maybe there's a better partner for my boyfriend than me out there...I don't know

[Dorothy Wood]

Anyway I will stop posting about it. I always think it will make me feel better but it doesn't. I can't fully explain what I am going through without sounding like a asshole.

[Adam]

vagina.

My crush has one.

[zippo]

Originally Posted by Dorothy Wood

Hmm, I feel like wanking over it is rude. But yeah, of course if he does like me (which isn't confirmed, but suspected), it's not a great idea to hang out...that's why I said I give up on friendship. I guess I thought I could make it work.

I may sound like a silly jerk, but honestly I need to seriously evaluate where my future is headed, because it's unclear.

Also maybe there's a better partner for my boyfriend than me out there...I don't know

you don´t sound so convinced about your current boyfriend, i´m thinking if you guys have been distanced or in a bad cycle, thinking that is normal and will probably soon go away. but if everything is somewhat normal between you two and you´re like this, then maybe it´s something more serious to consider.

as corny as it may sound, sometimes you know deep inside you´re not where you should be and it´s never healthy to ignore that feeling, if this is the situation. it might not even be about this crush but more about what you´re feeling (or not) for your boyfriend.

all i know is relationships are never easy, it´s admitting that when things start to get better.

[Dorothy Wood]

Originally Posted by zippo

you don´t sound so convinced about your current boyfriend, i´m thinking if you guys have been distanced or in a bad cycle, thinking that is normal and will probably soon go away. but if everything is somewhat normal between you two and you´re like this, then maybe it´s something more serious to consider.

as corny as it may sound, sometimes you know deep inside you´re not where you should be and it´s never healthy to ignore that feeling, if this is the situation. it might not even be about this crush but more about what you´re feeling (or not) for your boyfriend.

all i know is relationships are never easy, it´s admitting that when things start to get better.

Well, I was/am not unhappy with the relationship, but I do think there were issues going unaddressed, and we had a big talk about things. Mainly, my bf and I are independent and coexisting, rather than building an adult partnership. We are loving and supportive of each other, and have been together 7.5 yrs. I have never sought anyone else because I was honestly never attracted to anyone else, and thought I was pretty lucky to find such a nice and handsome man who loves me so much. He's just not a practical person. I don't know, we're just different people. We're working on things though. I mentioned he might have a better match out there because there are women who would probably share his interests more than I do. I told him as much, he says he doesn't care if I don't like the same things. We usually have a good time together though.

Are you supposed to be with your twin? Probably not? The crush is more similar to me, we are on the same wavelength, which is appealing, but ultimately I don't know what that means.

I think this will continue to torment me for years.