Crushes

[TAL]

I'm in my 40s, still happens.

[Fern]

Was it me who they reminded you of?

[Dorothy Wood]

Haaaa, funny to see this. I feel summoned here! Came here for similar reasons, though I feel like this place isn't anonymous enough anymore for details.

Are you going to tell your partner? I was reading a bit about whether or not it's good to discuss crushes when they come up. I think it's pretty common...well, according to the thousands of results when googling the issue.

The current situation just cropped up...it'll probably pass. Lord knows I've had plenty of crushes. I realize they kinda never go away either, a lot of the dudes I've talked about over the years are still in my life as good friends. The new one is also in a committed relationship. Very unexpected connection that I think surprised us both, we got along so well on a business trip that by the end I think we both were embarrassed by it. And he just kept smiling at me and laughing at all my jokes, I felt crazy...like why is this happening, I don't want this feeling! I think it may have just been an isolated situation where you are with the same people for days and nature takes over and you bond with the most viable mate. At the last lunch, we were flirting accidentally like junior high style and caught ourselves and stopped. I think it'll turn out that we just become good friends. My boyfriend is great, I don't want to ruin shit.

[Adam]

I'm over mine now. Turns out just a passing thing.

And no, didn't tell my partner. It's probably common but probably best unspoken.

[ericg]

that funky cold medina ... watch out!

[Bob]

Originally Posted by Adam

I'm over mine now. Turns out just a passing thing.

And no, didn't tell my partner. It's probably common but probably best unspoken.

almost definitely

celebrity crushes are fine

crushes on people you see every day and could conceivably actually act on are a bit different

[Dorothy Wood]

I'm wondering why celebrity crushes are fine? Because it could never really happen?

My crush thing was very terrible for a week or so, emotionally draining, guilt-inducing. It felt very involuntary, I did not want to feel gooey feelings, but I did. I haven't seen the guy in a couple weeks due to holiday and business travel, and I pretty much just forgot about him (or at least the looping thoughts of him disappeared) so I think everything will be fine.

Life is weird. I just read through a bunch of my old crush threads, and there is one that I talked about a lot that is still somehow around. NYE, I went out alone (bf had to work, bffs out of town), I saw him at a local bar, I stayed away until I was ready to leave, then approached him...he was basically like "the timing of life sucks", acknowledging our ships passing in the night situation, and told me "I'm friends with your boyfriend now, he's a nice guy", I said "I know, that's pretty fucking weird, man". Anyway, that's a little bit of closure on that front, at least, after 11 years, for us both to be like "hey we coulda, but we didn't, life goes on".

These guys probably snore anyway.

[Manticore]

Originally Posted by TAL

I'm in my 40s, still happens.

You right

[Myu-to]

I miss this place, and the wonderful people.

Crushes? I use to crush on the girls, the ladies, with the sweet asses or what have you, but now I get cruses on a comfy beds, snugly warm up pants, and people not talking to me during my tv shows.

[Dorothy Wood]

lol this crush is destroying my mental health. I'm getting through it though. It's hard to understand what is going on.
How's yours, Adam?

[Dorothy Wood]

I mean like does free will exist? What is love? Is there a god? Is there fate? Are there psychic forces at work or is everything a choice?

[Adam]

I'm not over my crush - I did declare I was but I wasn't. Now that we are working together I've learned we have even more in common. But she is leaving work in a couple of months she told me (not handed in notice yet but will). So it will be sad to see her go.

Our job includes overnight stays in other cities and the last one it was just me and her, I decided to go out for a walk and I nearly text to say do you fancy it but then I felt weird about doing that so I went alone.

Last night I had a dream that she was staying at our house and she was walking around mostly naked. I feel bad for my partner that I have this crush.

• I think free will does exist - I won't act on this crush unless in the very unlikely event I become single
• Nope, no god
• Fate is just what humans make up coincidence when actually the world is just random
• We have choice but so many things stop is being impulsive (morals, anxiety) it seems restrictive to the point we don't anymore

[Dorothy Wood]

I feel bad for my partner too...this situation has lead to some very serious discussions though, and we've addressed some issues that maybe needed to be talked about. I admitted to feeling like I'm wandering away mentally. And I considered ending things, but the idea made me so depressed I was on the verge of crying all the time. And I truly love my dude. So we are working on things.

There is something mystical about this other kid though, we are very connected, still are getting along so well it's weird. I think we are managing to be friends, with respect to our significant others...or at least trying to be respectful. Definitely shady* though, no way around that unfortunately. I think the initial puppy love chemicals are wearing off at least.

*shady in that we are attempting friendship, when I guess if I were to take the moral high ground, I would just stay away?

Also, we have not discussed anything at all relating to any kind of feelings. I said "I feel like I've known you forever" at a work party when we had some drinks and were chatting for a long long time, and he said "yeah". That's it. It's more just a thing hanging in the air.