Feeling used or taken for granted

[Dorothy Wood]

At work. It doesn't matter how hard I work, or how much money I make for my employers...it's never enough. And now they want more. And in a meeting about my pay raise, I got condescended to, called a liar, and basically yelled at for sticking up for my staff. "we need you to be on our side!" I was like "no, there aren't sides." I got a decent pay raise, and apologies from both. But shit...I can't believe what horseshit that meeting was. I'm so tired of being blamed for problems that don't exist (basically they don't think we work hard enough or fast enough...but have no quantifiable proof. Work gets done, clients are happy. The anger and fear they display is irrational.)

I hate this, I feel like I'm trapped. I'm so angry all the time. I feel like all the hard work I've put in over the years just gets forgotten. I can't keep doing this. My ego won't let me continue much longer, but I also can't just fuck myself over by eliminating my income or reducing it by starting somewhere new in the same field.

Anyway, I just want to figure a way out or a way to make things better within the system that exists. Unfortunately forcing myself to grin and bear things seems like the mature thing to do. Thats how we do it in America right? The American dream....

[ms.peachy]

What is preventing you from taking your skills and experience and shopping them around to other employers? Genuine question, I'm not being snarky. I just don't understand why you say going somewhere else would be less money. Why so? Find a recruitment agency that specializes in your broader field, and let them try to find employers that need your skill set. For the same or better money. I mean fair enough: that job might not be out there just now, but you should always have your ear to the ground looking for the opportunity.

[Dorothy Wood]

I don't want to make a lateral move, but I might have to for my own sanity. Basically there isn't a lot of money in my line of work unless you own a business, so Id probably be starting at square one in a new gallery. I look for new jobs every day. I research degrees and career paths all the time. I find things that might work but it's always a risk. I'm trying to calculate the least risky risk. Some of the jobs would require moving, which isn't a viable option at this time because of my boyfriend's job.

Today I made a list of places to visit and inquire about employment. But honestly if I wanted to go back to school it would make the most sense to stay with the company I've been with the past 8 years.

I could most likely find work with a competitor, but it would mean burning a lot of bridges. and I really just want a different career, just don't know how to choose. It's been rough, I'm very depressed, which doesn't help my confidence.

I am applying for a dream job currently (comedy writing position) but I know I'm out of my depth so it's a crapshoot. I don't even know if I want to do it or if I could. Honestly, I just want to be in a more technical field. I fixed a pneumatic machine yesterday and it was the most fun I've had in awhile.

[Yetra Flam]

Dorothy, Im going through a sort of similar thing. I started working at this start-up training company about 2 years ago. It was slow as hell at first and I had basically no clients but they assured me it would get more busy. It did get more busy, but they hired more people, instead of feeding me clients, so I'm still as slow as I was when it first started. They have made all these excuses for not giving me clients, that I need to do all these bullshit certifications that I cant afford in order to be a "legitimate" trainer, despite the fact I paid a considerable amount of money to get my original training cert (more than what most trainers have) I also did not want to take clients at 5am, 6am (it would require me to get up and travel at 3 or 4 in the morning which I dont consider reasonable. And as my time at this company has progressed, job responsibilities have increased while pay has not. (Social media stuff, writing blogs, unpaid meetings, etc.) In the time Ive worked at this job, I was laid off from my other part time job, putting me in a shitty and broke situation.
I totally understand how you feel sort of stuck. I feel that way too. I look at people around me my own age and they're professional and have full time respectable jobs. I have a useless college degree so Im not even eligible for a proper fulltime job.
Bah!

[Dorothy Wood]

oh man, I'm sorry you're in a bind. I think this is just how life is now for people who don't pick a career that has a high salary right off the bat. And small business owners are so touchy, it's like they just can't give full respect to their employees because they just inherently feel bigger because they own the business. I think that's mostly why I'm so upset, the "deal with it, it's not that bad" attitude (which I think ultimately has the subtext of "if you were as hardworking and smart as me, you'd own a business") is so infuriating. Personally, I try to make everything and everyone work together so no one is fucked over. I don't think a lot of people try to do that in today's society.

I know I could open a business. I just don't want to. I don't want to figure out ways to convince people to give me money for things. I want to do something useful that is also respected. I'm tired of being disrespected, that's mostly what this thread is about. Because I don't mean anyone any harm, I try my best to do a good job, and I don't understand why that isn't enough for some people. It's like you can't be fully respected in society unless you make over $100,000.

Anyway, I think a lot of people feel stuck. It seems almost impossible to go back to school, or take time off to learn anything unless you have tens of thousands of dollars saved already.

I think I'm going to stick it out for now and figure out how to go to school. I'm still applying for things in different industries, but it doesn't make financial sense to make a lateral move, and there's no guarantee I'll find less stress (my last workplace suuuucked). My bosses don't hate me, they are just high strung. It's fine. Wait, do I sound like I'm in an abusive relationship?! ack!

It'll all turn out...right? Maybe I'll just move to the woods and forage if it doesn't.

[abbott]

Opening your own business will only change the shit people do to you.

I sold new BMWs once in my life and I was good at it, but the staff that had been there longer would lie about me and cause me sales, money and hard times with the manager. I had to stick with it or get a new job. The problem is any other job would have the same problems and now as a small business owner I got people shitting on me all over. To go back to the lying bitch saying I sold a car to her customer, then calling me a lier to my face, would be a cake walk. In those days, the manager thought this chick was hot, and he would tell me, "if we have problem between you two then your gone. Do you have a problem?" I did get to take new BMWs home for the weekend and sold enough cars people fucking with me did not work. I see people from those days and they still laugh about that bitch and she is still talking shit about me.

Shit even the Beastie Boys get people using them and dragging them through shit all the time.

Anyway enjoy the ride, learn and it will work out.

[Dorothy Wood]

Originally Posted by abbott

Opening your own business will only change the shit people do to you.

I sold new BMWs once in my life and I was good at it, but the staff that had been there longer would lie about me and cause me sales, money and hard times with the manager. I had to stick with it or get a new job. The problem is any other job would have the same problems and now as a small business owner I got people shitting on me all over. To go back to the lying bitch saying I sold a car to her customer, then calling me a lier to my face, would be a cake walk. In those days, the manager thought this chick was hot, and he would tell me, "if we have problem between you two then your gone. Do you have a problem?" I did get to take new BMWs home for the weekend and sold enough cars people fucking with me did not work. I see people from those days and they still laugh about that bitch and she is still talking shit about me.

Shit even the Beastie Boys get people using them and dragging them through shit all the time.

Anyway enjoy the ride, learn and it will work out.

I kinda got confused by what you were talking about in the middle, but I think I understand what youre trying to say. Thanks, I'm trying to learn.