i need a list of shitty lawyers

[Bob]

basically, lawyers who made it through 3 years of law school, passed the bar, got a job, and did some notoriously reprehensible bullshit that got them disbarred

reason i'm asking is, i'm currently at the first major horrible checkpoint of terror that law school gives you. first exams basically, you have one exam that determines your grade for the entire semester. it's an open book/open note exam, which at first sounds like a good thing, only it's not, because you fucking need those notes to have any hope of performing a complete analysis

i'm panicking, all my friends are panicking, only i'm trying to maintain some perspective by thinking of all the horrible horrible lawyers that exist out there, that have their lisences, that practice law, and therefore must have earned a decent grade on their first year exams and for fucks sake what could they have that i dont?. and if they did so, why can't i? i'm trying to craft a motivational email, there's this hot girl in my class that i'm trying to lay but that's not the point

the point is i need specific examples of shitty lawyers that somehow managed to pass the bar

[Gareth]

fuck man
i can guarantee there are dumber people at law school than you
there were dumber people at law school than me even
and there are seriously some really dumb lawyers out there [not to say i'm awesome but whatevs]
we all know you arent dumb
so dont worry about it

[Bob]

Originally Posted by Gareth

fuck man
i can guarantee there are dumber people at law school than you
there were dumber people at law school than me even
and there are seriously some really dumb lawyers out there [not to say i'm awesome but whatevs]
we all know you arent dumb
so dont worry about it

right that's what i'm saying

i want names, i want to know who those dumb lawyers are

dumb motherfucking lawyers who passed the bar, therefore first semester exams should be of no concern to me and to the hot girl that i'm trying to to me, to me!

[Pres Zount]

That guy that drops his papers all over the floor, and wears a white suit and a neck brace.

[ericlee]

hmmmm.

Me as a lawyer.. A shitty one at that.....

Bob, I do have to take meds, thanks to Bush..

Can I run your campain after not taking my beds? GRRRR fuckers !!

[ericlee]

I fookin droool on myself. ALot..

Whatcha gonna do?

[befsquire]

george w bush (graduated law school, anyway)

[na§tee]

i googled "shitty lawyers" just for the craic and the first result was "MINORITIES MORE LIKELY TO BE SHITTY LAWYERS!" charming!

i don't know any famous bad lawyers but i found a quiz which will tell you what famous lawyer you will be to take your mind offa it.

[Pres Zount]

I'm Erin Brockovich! Awesome!

[DipDipDive]

Originally Posted by Pres Zount

I'm Erin Brockovich! Awesome!

This made me lol and I just ate a lot of eggs and drank a can of Coke and felt like vomitting a little.

[Bob]

Originally Posted by DipDipDive

This made me lol and I just ate a lot of eggs and drank a can of Coke and felt like vomitting a little.

JESUS CHRIST DIPDIPDIVE

i am literally currently eating eggs and coke. i think you're me, only in the future

[Pres Zount]

You should just make the list up. Or at least make a few of them up.

Erin Brockovich, George Bush... there, I've got you started.

They probably wont realise, I think you are giving student lawyers too much credit.

[Bob]

also, i'm ally mcbeal

[Pres Zount]

I was hoping you would get that. She can go on your list, too.

[QueenAdrock]

I'm Atticus Finch!

Who the hell is he? He sounds snotty. And British.

[Bob]

he's from to kill a mockingbird

he's very good

[QueenAdrock]

Well then, hi5.

How come you and Zount got girls and I got a boy? I mean they specifically asked my sex. Maybe they're just trying to be jerks.

[Documad]

Originally Posted by Pres Zount

I'm Erin Brockovich! Awesome!

She's not a lawyer. She's a clerk.

[Documad]

I don't understand the point of school without grades.

[Gareth]

lionel hutz
jackie chiles
dennis denuto [from "the castle"]

[Documad]

I think that there have been at least five lawyers from my law school class who have been disbarred. More have been suspended or reprimanded. One of the guys who was disbarred was an honors student, clerked for a judge, and he was a law review staffer under me. He took money from clients.

[befsquire]

Originally Posted by Bob

also, i'm ally mcbeal

um, no you're not. that's pres' slur for me.

back the fuck off, bob.

[befsquire]

i went to law school with this dude. and the wife he tried to kill. he was mr. upstanding republican citizen, and couldn't stand that i wanted to be a criminal defense attorney.

[Rancid_Beasties]

Dude, you need to chill out. P's get degrees etc etc. Over here, out of your 5 year degree, only the last 2 years marks are even looked at. So unless you are aiming for straight H1's (top 10% of the class) you should really just chill otherwise you're going to give yourself ulcers.

In law, the amount of work you do does not correspond to your mark. I did no work for one subject that i hated (contracts) this semester and got a good mark (top 20% of the class, 75/100, class average is 68). In the other subject (criminal law) which i loved, i did alot of work and got a shit mark (bottom 40%, 60/100).

A mate of mine who just finished his degree told me this once. If you do no study for a law subject, you could bullshit a 60. 10 hours study (for a closed book exam, about 2 hours more for an open book) for a law exam, is gonna get you a 70. But after that it will take 5 hours to get each extra mark. So, unless you really care about a subject, 10 hours is the most efficient amount of time to study for a law exam. Doesnt sound like much...but if you have a good summary, its enough.

[HEIRESS]

STAR JONES

[befsquire]

well done heiress!

[ScarySquirrel]

Couldn't you just basically watch daytime television and see a whole slew of shitty lawyers that must've passed the BAR exam? Y'know? Those dudes (I've never seen a woman lawyer doing it oddly enough...) that are those personal injury lawyers and try to get me to call them if I've taken certain prescription drugs?

Yeah, those guys.

1-800-CALL-SAM
that's
1-800-225-5726!

[ET]

I am a lawyur.