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-   -   So I may wind up killing myself later... (http://bbs.beastieboys.com/showthread.php?t=88165)

adam_f 08-25-2008 08:09 AM

So I may wind up killing myself later...
 
Probably not though.

I was reading Dorothy's thread on shyness and I can relate because I'm just as awkward in real life, but since I've known most of you for four years on here, I don't really feel out of place on the board. What sucks about it is that I've seem to have developed a habit of falling for girl friends who I'd like to become more than friends with, but I'm too awkward and shy to tell them and I wind up beating myself up for it. If it's a girl I've never met, I'm awkward, yes, but at least if she says know I can just talk bad about her behind her back anonymously.

But now, there's this girl, Alyssa, with whom I've become really close with over the summer and I've kinda developed feelings for, especially since she left to go on vacation for three weeks and I barely even talked to her. We both start school today, the same school, and I figure today I'm going to take the monumental step of telling her I like her like her. She was telling me about this Ben kid she likes and all that, and I think she recognized the fact I didn't care because when I'm depressed or upset I use one word answers and avoid eye contact. I make it completely obvious in other words.

I'm scared to lose her as a friend, but with school starting and maybe meeting new people, I don't see us as being as close anymore (plus, Goddammit, she doesn't have texting on her phone anymore because of a high bill, so I gotta call and shit...fuck) and I figure I'll wind up pissed off and upset I didn't at least tell her. It's quite a big step for me since usually I talk myself out of losing someone I care about, but hey, might as well go for gold this time. I like this girl too much to not try.

And I'm aware this all sounded very High School Musical and juvenile, but whatever. I just had to tell somebody.

Myu-to 08-25-2008 08:12 AM

Re: So I may wind up killing myself later...
 
Can I have your watch when you are dead?

Randetica 08-25-2008 08:16 AM

Re: So I may wind up killing myself later...
 
i love shy guys

ToucanSpam 08-25-2008 08:22 AM

Re: So I may wind up killing myself later...
 
I don't think you should tell her, especially since she's already indicated interest in someone else. This is going to end bad for you if she says she only wants to be friends.

adam_f 08-25-2008 08:30 AM

Re: So I may wind up killing myself later...
 
Yeah, I know what you mean Toucan but I feel like it's something I have to do just for me. It sucks watching everybody else be happy with the girl that I want, so at the very least, I just have to try.

Plus I'm a lyrical gangster and I can talk my way into staying friends. That's how it works out in my head anyway.

venusvenus123 08-25-2008 08:33 AM

Re: So I may wind up killing myself later...
 
do tell her.

don't kill yourself.

Kid Presentable 08-25-2008 08:33 AM

Re: So I may wind up killing myself later...
 
I guess you can only rely on the experiences of others, so here's mine:

Two occasions have passed where I wanted to be more than friends with female friends; I was under some illusion that we would be perfect because we talked well, hung out and joked and so on and blah blah. Each time I revealed my feelings, it was a roaring failure. One girl said that the thought to her was 'weird', that she'd fancied me when I was 16-17 (when she was 19 - 20) but thought an age gap at that age would be hard to overcome. And so her feelings subsided just perfectly to coincide with my humiliation. Awesomes.

The other time, we were friends, I knew she was into one of my buddies, I fucking acted like a knob-end trying to be 'right' for this girl and she said she couldn't do it. Maybe at one time, but not now or some shit. Fucked.

So I was pretty forlorn both times. Self-doubt, self-loathing and so on. I have to say being a married dude now has given me two perspectives on this shit, though. One, I would never have met wifey had anything been different, so I'm glad those two never happened. Two, even if you got together with one of these chicks, the odds are stacked in favour of it ending like most relationships (I mean, are you wanting to marry this girl?), either badly and with much hostility, or just fizzling out and being back at square one.

So I guess you have to think about what happens after the credits roll on your romance story. Even if you get together, it's note to being just another relationship. In that sense, if she rejects you, think about it as no big loss because it really isn't. I'd avoid telling her your feelings, but as I've pointed out, you don't learn what it's like to be emasculated unless you open your mouth on these things.

Myu-to 08-25-2008 08:40 AM

Re: So I may wind up killing myself later...
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by venusvenus123 (Post 1609107)
don't kill yourself.

I am expecting you to buy me a watch now.

And, tell her, just don't make it creepy. Chicks don't like creepy.

venusvenus123 08-25-2008 08:43 AM

Re: So I may wind up killing myself later...
 
i have a thomas the tank engine one you can have

Myu-to 08-25-2008 08:52 AM

Re: So I may wind up killing myself later...
 
Score!!!

ToucanSpam 08-25-2008 09:04 AM

Re: So I may wind up killing myself later...
 
While I agree that it is a bad idea to kill yourself, I really, really think you should just let this slide. Unless, however unlikely, she makes a move on you, you should just remain friends. KP brings up a point I want to shoehorn into my suggestion. Do you plan on marrying her? Probably not. She isn't 'the one' and you're too young to get serious about a relationship. You know what's more important at this point? Being successful in your career. Take it from me, when you can cash in on a successful career, all of those sexy ladies who had their fill of college athletes will want something more substantial that includes financial security and intelligence.


...or not, you know. You could just go for it and have it blow up in your face. Your call.

Myu-to 08-25-2008 09:09 AM

Re: So I may wind up killing myself later...
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by ToucanSpam (Post 1609117)
While I agree that it is a bad idea to kill yourself...

Sometimes your insight astounds me.

ToucanSpam 08-25-2008 09:09 AM

Re: So I may wind up killing myself later...
 
Who are you again?

Myu-to 08-25-2008 09:20 AM

Re: So I may wind up killing myself later...
 
No one of any significance.

ToucanSpam 08-25-2008 09:21 AM

Re: So I may wind up killing myself later...
 
You look familiar.

monkey 08-25-2008 09:49 AM

Re: So I may wind up killing myself later...
 
i love love love my adam_f, but i'm willing to share with a real life girl. dude, i wouldnt go up to the girl and say "ive liked you forever" but instead... make a subtler move. start being extra friendly. make it clear(er) to her that you like her and you're going to start kissing her soon or something. put your arm around her waist and start holding a hug a little extra long. she then has the ability to either stop you or go for it. no pressure. no declarations of love. let the like build organically.


(p.s: dont die. if you die, im gonna come kill you. <3)

Bob 08-25-2008 10:18 AM

Re: So I may wind up killing myself later...
 
you're afraid of girls? what are you gay or something?

Jitters 08-25-2008 11:00 AM

Re: So I may wind up killing myself later...
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Bob (Post 1609151)
you're afraid of girls? what are you gay or something?

:)

Tell her how you feel. Like everybody else said, if she turns you down then don't get too worked up over it. There's a lot of women out there.

jabumbo 08-25-2008 12:11 PM

Re: So I may wind up killing myself later...
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by adam_f (Post 1609097)
We both start school today, the same school, and I figure today I'm going to take the monumental step of telling her I like her like her.

CCAC Boyce? :rolleyes:



i'm down with the organic suggestion. (y)

don't blow her away with big words, just give her some more to think about and find more reasons to hang out with her each time

cookiepuss 08-25-2008 12:41 PM

Re: So I may wind up killing myself later...
 
call me a hopeless romantic, but I'm a big fan of love letters. one option you have is to write it down, if you think you'll get tongue tied. if she doesn't think that's sweet, she's a ho. :p

Bjork 08-25-2008 12:55 PM

In my experience with close guy friends who later developed feelings.

Don't drop a bomb on her, if she felt the same you would already know.

This has happened to me three times, and one in particular devasated me and things were never the same, and for the past 5 years I wished he didn't tell me.He slowly withdrew from me, and I lost one of my dearest best friends.

Do something small, give her a pretty single flower ....ask her out on a "date"

a small gesture see what happens

ToucanSpam 08-25-2008 01:02 PM

Re: So I may wind up killing myself later...
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Bjork (Post 1609211)
Don't drop a bomb on her, if she felt the same you would already know.

Exactly, which is why you should do nothing and let her make a move. Otherwise move on to someone else.

Myu-to 08-25-2008 01:06 PM

Re: So I may wind up killing myself later...
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by cookiepuss (Post 1609204)
call me a hopeless romantic, but I'm a big fan of love letters. one option you have is to write it down, if you think you'll get tongue tied. if she doesn't think that's sweet, she's a ho. :p

Write it with a Sharpie. That will make it stand out, as well as make it special.

cookiepuss 08-25-2008 01:13 PM

Re: So I may wind up killing myself later...
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Myu-to (Post 1609219)
Write it with a Sharpie. That will make it stand out, as well as make it special.

especially if you write in on her forehead while she's sleeping or passed out drunk.(y)

jabumbo 08-25-2008 01:14 PM

Re: So I may wind up killing myself later...
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Myu-to (Post 1609219)
Write it with a Sharpie. That will make it stand out, as well as make it special.

i wrote mine on engineering graph paper :o

Bjork 08-25-2008 01:25 PM

.
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Myu-to (Post 1609219)
Write it with a Sharpie. That will make it stand out, as well as make it special.

I love you, Douchebag.

Myu-to 08-25-2008 01:43 PM

Re: .
 
Quote:

Originally Posted by Bjork (Post 1609230)
I love you, Douchebag.

AWE!!!

I love you too.

beastieangel01 08-25-2008 01:44 PM

Re: So I may wind up killing myself later...
 
If you are going to regret it for never going for it...

then just fucking do it.
I say that with love.

Bob 08-25-2008 03:25 PM

Re: So I may wind up killing myself later...
 
whatever you do, DON'T leave a message on her phone singing "and then i go and spoil it all by saying something stupid like i like you"

ms.peachy 08-25-2008 03:39 PM

Re: So I may wind up killing myself later...
 
Mr.p has on occasion said that if he could go back in time and tell his younger self anything, it would be, when you like a chick, just go for it. Don't spend time going endlessly over "should I shouldn't I what if she says what if she doesn't does she doesn't she will I look like a what if she thinks I'm blah blah blah". Just fucking go for it. And sometimes you'll win and sometimes you'll lose but so fucking what. If it doesn't work out with one, another will come along. This isn't to say that women are all interchangeable or should be thought of as objects, only that there are actually a whole load of really fab, funny, decent attractive girls out there if you just have a look around, and you could potentially have a really nice time getting to know any one of them.


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