Interview a Board Member [Archive] - Page 3 - Beastie Boys Message Board

Nuzzolese

10-13-2005, 10:58 AM

I think she's away right now, but here it is:

THE NUZZOLESE INTERVIEW

Before we begin, I'd like to thank you for taking the time to answer these sexy questions. I know a lot of people have been curious about certain things, so let's get to the bottom of all this, shall we?

1. Now, tell me, do you prefer being on the top or on the bottom.......bunk? Everybody has a preference. What's yoursssss?

I like to be on the top bunk because I feel less vulnerable to attack, I get to put my feet on the ceiling, and I get a better view of the room. It gives me a sense of escape and power which are not senses that I usually get to esperience combined.

2. How do you feel about the following statement:

"The only time two or more women should engage in sexual relations together is when there are men present and for the sole purpose of entertaining said men. Acts which could be considered lesbianistic should in no way become part of one's lifestyle"

Generally I stand for zero tolerance for intolerance. But specifically, thoughts and thinking on the part of the individual are highly overrated.

3. So, tell me, have you ever been spanked? If so, was it because you did something naughty? Were you a bad girl? Huh? Were you a bad child that needed to be disciplined? Did you lack discipline and "force the hand" of the person that beat you? Or were you nothing more than a victim of abuse? Listen, it wasn't your fault! No child deserves to be beaten, and parents don't have the right to hit their kids!

I just think certain people have a right to discipline certain other people, and if you're not at the stage where you deserved the hand then the hand is totally uncalled for.

4. Have you ever been hit from the rear.........while driving? If so, how did it make you feel? Was there a lot of damage?

Never. I'm very cautious to steer off to the side if I think a rear end collision is imminent.

5. Is there reason for food in the bedroom? Do you ever snack in bed, perhaps while watching a flick or reading one of your many books?

Quite often. I like to be cozy and self contained meaning I like to combine as many of my favorite things as possible into one confined moment or situation.

6. Breasts or thighs?

I don't eat chicken

7. Wings or ribs?

I don't eat buffalo, or "tatanka"

8. What's your favorite food-related euphemism for engaging in consensual sex?

"Drop your egg and fours and let's get the bacon delivered."

9. Do you like it hard--hold on a sec, I just have to take this call.....

Sorry about that.

As I was saying, do you like it hard, or do you prefer your eggs softboiled? I bet you prefer hardboiled, don't you? Yeah, you do. You like your eggs all hard and stiff, don'cha? You want a nice throbbing hardboiled egg all for yourself, right? Right?

I take eggs any style and I try to eat them frequently. What I like most about hard boiled is that they're portable. You can take them with you and enjoy them anywhere.

10. I'd like to thank you for taking the time to answer these sexy ass questions, NuzzÃ©. Is there anything you'd like to add before we conclude here?
I feel special that someone would put so much effort into making my interview so sexy. I feel satisfied in ways no other interview as ever made me feel.

tracky

02-22-2006, 10:32 PM

The Kid Presentable Interview

First Kid, welcome the show, great to have you on! How is the wife?

And how long have you been in Australia?

What made you move to Australia? I was reading an article in a magazine earlier where they interviewed a bunch of New Zealanders and asked them what they think of Australians. It seems we're not that popular over there.

Do you like Vegemite?

What did you have for breakfast this morning?

What did you do after breakfast this morning? Please remember this is a family show

Do you have any pets, gimps etc.?

What is your favourite month?

How many times a day do you go to the bathroom?

If there's any other random facts you'd like to share, please do.

Thank you, I hope to see you again when you're plugging your next movie or book :)

zippo

02-23-2006, 11:37 AM

MISS SOUL FIRE YOU NEVER ANSWERED MY INTERVIEW ON PAGE 8

PAGE 8 MISS SOUL FIRE

paul jones

02-23-2006, 11:40 AM

THE ROOSTA INTERVIEW

Q. Who's Boots them shoes?

Q. Who's Coats that Jacket?

zippo

02-23-2006, 11:42 AM

imagine if she never came in this thread again, and would never see that huge sign for her, how stressful. like the police crew is looking for the victim and theyre standing right ouside the house where hes hiding talking about where theyre gonna look for him at

MISS SOUL FIRE IM WRITING IN SUCH BIG LETTERS AND YOU MIGHT NEVER SEE IT

(sending a pm would just fuck the whole thing up, no im not sending one)

tracky

02-23-2006, 03:26 PM

I ain't sending no PM either. Cmon KP answer the questions!

zippo

02-23-2006, 03:35 PM

HAMANA HAMANA HAMANA

mickill

02-23-2006, 03:45 PM

They're not answering because they understand the rules, which are as follows:

1) kll decides who you get to interview.

2) you don't decide who you interview, kll does.

3) kll is a tyrannical bitch, but you gotta respect her for her taste in shoes.

na§tee

02-23-2006, 03:51 PM

man.
that sorta blows.
i only know a handful of the ripe pickings up in this joint.
i guess maybe it would help to break outta the loop.
oh wait; but there was a random question in there about GARETH'S PENIS and that's AGAINST THE RULES! I'm TELLING!
penissss.

mickill

02-23-2006, 03:52 PM

I'll interview you, naÂ§tee.

Bob

02-23-2006, 03:53 PM

you better wait for permission from kll or so help me god i'll make a thread about it

mickill

02-23-2006, 03:55 PM

I thought you were watching a movie.

I can do what I want. kll doesn't own me.

You make a thread about it, so help me God, I will bid you adieu, Bob.

Goldust

02-23-2006, 03:55 PM

I'd like to be interviewed.

miss soul fire

02-23-2006, 03:58 PM

1) Do you feel youre missing anything at this particular moment in your life?

Yeah, a job, making money, being free!!!

2) Do you do any less of something due to the time you spend on the board?

Nah, not anymore because I haven't spent much time here lately, a lot lately. It's not a problem.:)

3) What do you usually do on weekends and what would you like to usually do on weekends? (that is, if the two are different answers)

I go out with my friends. I really love going out with them, especially to bars or just to talk to them anywhere. Lately I've been kissing this guy which is much better. Hihihi. I also love going to the movies and I love to watch plays too and I love polls and air hockey!

4) What do you think you can only fully understand only if youre Brazilian born? (if anything)

Oh, definitely the jokes. It's because of the background thing. Maybe also the feeling to know that 56% of Brazilians don't like Carnival and that most girls are not whores, although there are lots of them overseas. Maybe feeling weird about being called "hispanic" and also "latin". I don't know why though.

5) Whats the most superficial thing that you did/thought?

When I talk about my hair I feel pretty much superficial, baby!!!

6) What do you get out of repeatedly interacting with this board?

Before I would get friends, but lately nothing more than fun, which is good too and also being the weird girl that people think who have no thoughts at all since I don't show much of that!

7) Is there something that youve given up on that youve intensely have wanted to do in your life?

I never give up on something I really really want, but I'm definitely more calm about the whole overseas trip thing. Whenever I get the money I'll go and that's it. No sweat before that. I'll just keep going with life!

8) Whats our biggest flaw as human beings?

Thinking too much I guess. I mean, we just should do it and that would be it! We discuss too much sometimes. Sometimes...

9) Is there a side of yourslef you think you have trouble showing when you interact with people?

Hmmm, my humble side. I'm definitely cocky when it comes to myself. I talk too much about my own me. That sucks giant monkey bollocks. I'm working on that though!

10) WhatÂ´s you favorite meal? (be thorough!)

Hmmm, I really love "pastel de queijo" and "caldo de cana", but I'm too damn lazy at this moment to know how to tell you this in English. Hihihihi!

:D

Are you happy now? I know I am! Hehehe!
I'm boring as hell!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Bob

02-23-2006, 03:59 PM

I thought you were watching a movie.

I can do what I want. kll doesn't own me.

You make a thread about it, so help me God, I will bid you adieu, Bob.

i was watching a movie but i was also posting in a thread i made about watching a movie, i can do two things at once.

na§tee

02-23-2006, 04:02 PM

awww, i remember a time when msf posted and she was worrying because she had never kissed anyone. me too. :o uh, that sorta sounds like we kissed each other, but this is not true, sadly.
it was around the same time mistah brodie and i raped your little message board you had on yr site and you didn't notice for like 3 months, hehe!

voltanapricot

02-23-2006, 04:20 PM

i was watching a movie but i was also posting in a thread i made about watching a movie, i can do two things at once.
woman.

Kid Presentable

02-23-2006, 09:18 PM

I ain't sending no PM either. Cmon KP answer the questions!
Sorry man, I didn't even see it. I'll get on to it.

roosta

03-26-2006, 05:15 AM

this should be revived, it was entertaining.

Ma-Ti

03-26-2006, 05:52 AM

We must discuss the environment. My emotions about planeteering overwhelm me.

Wheeler

03-26-2006, 06:41 AM

Okay I have a few questions Ma-Ti.

Why are you so soft? Why dont you get a power that can actually do some damage, maybe explosiveness or something?

What is it with you and that monkey?

!Gi!

03-26-2006, 06:44 AM

Ok then, I'll ask you, Wheeler:

What's with the attitude? Or does your firey personality serve to match your fire power?

Wheeler

03-26-2006, 06:50 AM

Ok then, I'll ask you, Wheeler:

What's with the attitude? Or does your firey personality serve to match your fire power?
I can have any attitude you want me to have babe ;)

!Gi!

03-26-2006, 06:52 AM

Oh, I see. Have you moved on to me now, after so many rejections from Linka?

Wheeler

03-26-2006, 06:53 AM

Oh, I see. Have you moved on to me now, after so many rejections from Linka?
Ouch babe, ouch :(

*sets Gi's hair on fire while shes not looking*

kll

03-27-2006, 10:42 AM

Have you ever ridden a horse/pony?
Would you rather eat a sausage or a hot dog?
If your daughter comes home at 16 with her new boyfriend - a "little person" -how will you react?
If you were laid off and only could take a minimum wage job, would you rather work at 7-11 or McDonalds?
What's more shameful for the family/friends - to find out you are an adult film star or a fluffer?
If one of your favorite board members was dying, would you make an effort to fly out and meet them "before it's too late"?

mickill

03-27-2006, 11:37 AM

Have you ever ridden a horse/pony?

A horse, yes. I don't know, actually.... Maybe it was a pony. I really wouldn't know the difference. He looked like he was ready to croak, though. We went to a horse camp about 7 years ago with around 15 or so other people. It was ok, but when the horses all started running all I remember was the smashing of the nuts against the saddle. All of the guys were screaming in agony except this one dude who went riding with the girls again an hour later. We all talked about how his testicles probably hadn't descended yet. He also ate a banana out of a tropicana bottle and called it his banana holder.

Would you rather eat a sausage or a hot dog?

That's a toughie. Yeah...I may need to come back to that one.

If your daughter comes home at 16 with her new boyfriend - a "little person" -how will you react?

I'd offer him a beer and ask him if he likes sports.

If you were laid off and only could take a minimum wage job, would you rather work at 7-11 or McDonalds?

McDonald's. I bet I could make manager within a week.

What's more shameful for the family/friends - to find out you are an adult film star or a fluffer?

Well, if I was only fluffing women on the set of porn flicks (even though I don't really know how much contact that would entail) at least I wouldn't be on camera. Which means that the next time my parents or my wife rent a porno, the likelihood of them seeing me boinking some skanks for rillz is far less. Whether this is a good thing or not depends on whether they would have hoped I'd at least be an actual member of the cast.

If one of your favorite board members was dying, would you make an effort to fly out and meet them "before it's too late"?

No. I really doubt it. But if you were on your deathbed, I'd totally be there for you, man.

bigblu89

03-27-2006, 12:02 PM

I wouldn't mind getting interviewed...

Some one was suppsed to PM Me interview questions, but never did.

kll, make it happen.

kll

03-27-2006, 12:09 PM

If there was a fire in your house and you could save either your coveted jersey collection or the only copy of your wedding video, which would you grab?

Would you either eat a sausage or a hot dog?

Who appears (whether or not they DO prefer the same sex, that's not the issue - it's all about the delivery) to be the gayest male board member?

If your wife was to give up shaving for the rest of her life, would you prefer it be armpit or leg shaving?

If you could ask the Beastie Boys one question, what would it be?

What's the last illegal thing you have done?

bigblu89

03-27-2006, 02:04 PM

If there was a fire in your house and you could save either your coveted jersey collection or the only copy of your wedding video, which would you grab?

Well, The Wedding Vid is on DVD, and saved on my friends harddrive, so I could burn a new one anytime I want. But if that wasn't the case... My jersey collection.

Would you either eat a sausage or a hot dog?

I'd eat either of them, But would prefer a Hot Dog.

Who appears (whether or not they DO prefer the same sex, that's not the issue - it's all about the delivery) to be the gayest male board member?

Are there any openly gay men on the board? The easy answer is Chewy, he's qwirky, well dressed, and alway hanging with chicks.

If your wife was to give up shaving for the rest of her life, would you prefer it be armpit or leg shaving? I'd say armpit, as she pretty much gives up leg shaving in the winter anyway.

If you could ask the Beastie Boys one question, what would it be?Would you mind taking a picture with me?

What's the last illegal thing you have done? How illegal? Speeding? Stealing batteries from Home Depot? Being intoxicated in public? Walking around with a joint in my pocket? I've done all of those fairly recently. AlthoughI was holding the joint for a friend.
Giggity-Giggity-Goo

cosmo105

03-27-2006, 02:39 PM

interview me, kerri. interview me hard.

kll

03-27-2006, 04:09 PM

Have you ever gotten even the slightest bit aroused while listening to your neighbors have sex? Tell the truth now.

If you could buy a house in any city down in Southern California, where would you live and why?

Have you ever touched Echewta's butt (on purpose or by accident)?

Who would you rather meet in real life, mae or skye?

If you had to spend a week eating meat, what meat would you choose?

Have you ever had your butthole played with during sex, and if so, did you like it? On the flipside, have you ever played with a butthole yourself?

What's the longest you've ever gone without brushing your teeth?

Name 5 people on the board you could survive on a deserted island with and name 5 people on the board you'd kill off within the first 72 hours should they be on the same island.

Hard enough, dear?

cosmo105

03-27-2006, 05:15 PM

Have you ever gotten even the slightest bit aroused while listening to your neighbors have sex? Tell the truth now.
maybe. a little.
If you could buy a house in any city down in Southern California, where would you live and why?
ooh. in so cal? hrm. that's tough. i'd say maybe in the burbank hills or along the beach, laguna niguel-ish. check back with me after my ship has come in.
Have you ever touched Echewta's butt (on purpose or by accident)?
more times than i'd like to admit.
Who would you rather meet in real life, mae or skye?
oh god. see, i know mae is an insecure nutcase that i could probably make go off and cry in a corner with a few harsh words, so i'd be rid of her easily. skye, on the other hand...she's a shapeshifter. she's like the Predator. she could be right behind me right now sharpening her blade and i'd have no idea.
If you had to spend a week eating meat, what meat would you choose?
okay, how is this in ANY way tailored toward boomin'? hmph. pepperoni. i miss that shit. every day in elementary school - literally - i had a pepperoni and mustard sandwich. or in a pita with cucumbers. fuck.
Have you ever had your butthole played with during sex, and if so, did you like it? On the flipside, have you ever played with a butthole yourself?
hell no on both counts.
What's the longest you've ever gone without brushing your teeth?
only a day or two. actually, when i got my wisdom teeth out, i was miserable because i couldn't brush for a few days. i felt so gross. all i could do was dab with a cotton ball. blechh.
Name 5 people on the board you could survive on a deserted island with and name 5 people on the board you'd kill off within the first 72 hours should they be on the same island.
survive: steger, kll (in our new society we must have gossip), dipdipdive (i must also have buttsecks), nuzz (and great conversations), ed (and fabulous makeup advice).

kill: mickill (he'd just gay it up), qdrop (i imagine he's tough and gamey and not worth fattening up to eat anyway), echewta (i imagine he tastes chocolatey), freebasser (so i can have his futurama toys), everyone else that can't spell "definitely."
Hard enough, dear?
i've had better.

mickill

03-27-2006, 05:21 PM

FINE! I DIDN'T WANNA BE ON THAT STUPID IDIOT DESERTED ISLAND, ANYWAY! I HATE YOU! WHO CARES ABOUT BEING ON THE DESERTED ISLAND OF SHIT WITH YOU! MY HEART HURTS! I HATE YOU! I COULD CARE LESS!

cosmo105

03-27-2006, 05:21 PM

see? totally gayed it up.

na§tee

03-27-2006, 05:26 PM

kll

03-27-2006, 05:46 PM

i'm still waiting for kll to give permission to let mickill or whoeverelseshechooseth [cosmo could "DO" me now she is technically the last to be interviewed, yo!] to interview me and then select someone for mmeeee to interview, goddamnit!

i think i've let you wait long enough. you did send a xmas card. i'll let you off the hook...

ok - please mickill - interview her...

you can interview anyone you wish...but, only one interview. bah.

na§tee

03-27-2006, 05:48 PM

i think i've let you wait long enough. you did send a xmas card. i'll let you off the hook...

ok - please mickill - interview her...

you can interview anyone you wish...but, only one interview. bah.
wooh! awesome! yes! christmas card! baby jesus-type-thing or eskimo dude, i can't remember but woooooh!
ok - please mickill sounds a bit like you asking him to take my virginity or something, but i'm loving yr generosity. i will have a think about my person i will DO. i promise i won't repeat any peoples so's to get the circle of life broader.

ToucanSpam

03-27-2006, 06:01 PM

I didn't even make the fucking kill or survive list. I'm going to go write a poem about this.

cosmo105

03-27-2006, 06:02 PM

fine, i'd decapitate you too. god.

ToucanSpam

03-27-2006, 06:05 PM

ARE YOU THREATENING ME?? HUH?

mickill

03-28-2006, 10:46 AM

Echewta

03-28-2006, 10:47 AM

Cosmo and Boom'n have never touched my butt. Nobody here has. I am touching mine right now though and found a penny. I WILL HAVE GOOD LUCK TODAY!

ericlee

03-28-2006, 10:51 AM

Cosmo and Boom'n have never touched my butt. Nobody here has. I am touching mine right now though and found a penny. I WILL HAVE GOOD LUCK TODAY!

oh yeah, well it was my couch you were sitting on so, cough it up..

Echewta

03-28-2006, 10:57 AM

:( Penny arcade :(

na§tee

03-28-2006, 01:13 PM

The NA§TEE INTERVIEW!

I'd first like to take this time to thank you for taking the time to answer some sexy ass questions for us all. I don't know if you're familiar with how I do things, so I'll just briefly outline my steez quickfast. Over the course of what will feel like a few hours to you, I'll be asking you a series of sexy ass questions, which I would like for you to answer as honestly as you can. That's about it. Let's begin.

thankyou. you're welcome. it's my pleasure. i'm an honest laydee.

1) What is the na§tiest thing you have ever done? Why did you do it? Do you regret it? Were any rodents or marsupials harmed in the process?

ah, na§ty as in na§ty-mean, not na§ty-sex. good. i'm glad!

hmm. by nature i am not a mean person, but of course i have done some regrettable things. when we first moved the isle of lewis when i was about 10, 11, and it was my 13th or something-th school, i was lonely and hungry for attention and sick of being miss goodygoody. so for some strange reason, i decided on a daily basis [as it is a really cowardly way to just create childish mischief!] to stuff all the girls toilets with toilet rolls. of course, the cleaning ladies got very angry as it must have been a horrible mess to clean up and no-one could flush those toilets, and the teachers had a little investigation. when they talked to the girls in my class, they were all like "oh, of course it couldn't be you claire but we have to ask everyone!" anyhoo, i stopped doing it [only lasted about 5 days, ha!] but the thing which makes me sad is that a girl about 2 years younger than me admitted to doing it when she blatantly didn't: she was a little troublemaker, but i could tell it was only because she was very shy and sad. but still, she admitted to this as i guess the finger was immediately pointed to her by the teachers and she just gave in. woops.

i am very sorry for that. a lame nasty thing, but hey!

2) Do you have a favorite dinosaur? Explain.

it would most certainly be the velociraptor. i heart raptors.

during that whole jurassic park era i was at an age where i went totally nuts about dinosaurs; wanted to be a paleontologist, read the book, saw the movie 1943439 times, even had a book about drawing them properly.

of course, i liked them the most as they were the coolest thing in the movie. hot damn! so mean and covert and sexy and the scenes in the kitchen? i damn near crapped my panties - still do nowadays. at that scene, kids, not on a regular basis! also the british actor in the shorts who looked after them was very hot. raptors are the most badasssss dinosaurs and they fucking know/knew it. motherfucker!

3) If your significant other gave you permission to boink any one celebrity just one time, male, female or otherwise, who or what would it be? Would any rodents or marsupials be involved?

joaquin phoenix. no doubt about that: joaquin phoenix.

quite often while watching mtv my flatmates and i will discuss the individual's sexual style. for example: james blunt - boring. tedious. british. embarassed. jack johnson - tender. loving. generous. loves giving head [honest!]. ll cool j - fingers assholes. pumps away. likes them to scream his name. ya know.

joaquin; ah, joaquin would be a good lover. the sort of person that would kiss your eyelids. ya know what i mean, girlz. me and joaquin - we got it going on. in my head. but still; we got it going on.

if he is into marsupials, i am more than happy for one to be accomodated. rodents are where i would draw the line.

4) Would you describe a platypus as mostly:

a) marsupial
b) rodent
c) duck
d) human

e) echewta.

5) A man in Pittenweem is riding his bike to Anstruther. At the same time, a train in Buckhaven is leaving for Aberfeldy. Both are traveling at the same speed. The man riding his bike is picking up a loaf of bread from Antruther and bringing it to Buckhaven before returning to Pittenweem. The train is making a 1 hour stop in Auchtermuchty before continuing to Aberfeldy. The bike will catch a flat tire in Buckhaven which will delay him by 2 hours. Two marsupials attack an old man in Pittenweem. A flying rodent attacks several children in a park in Auchtermuchty. Which will arrive at their destination first, the man on the bike or the train?

holy shit, so that's where the scottish kangaroos have moved to next with their lives of destruction and custard-making! no way.

obviously, the man on the train will arrive first. unless he was part of the party of children attacked by the flying rodent while out in the park as the train was having its one hour stop. however, this i doubt as the facilities in auchtermuchty are fabulous and he would have been well entertained by the gypsies and lesbian meercats. the bike dude would have been immediately burdened by the antruther bread - everyone knows thou shalt never visit an antruther bakery without previous written permission. if he failed to show this secret document, i am afraid that the baker would of had no choice but to bust-out the flying rodent poison-laced bread. sorry.

p.s. i hope at least some of those place names were made up scottish words from your head. aberfeldy, however, is not. i know a band called aberfeldy. true story.

6) Do you have second favorite dinosaur? Explain.

it would have to be the compsognathus-susssesss. or "compys". the small creatures which attacked the girl in jurassic park two [yes, i was still over that jurassic park isht not least for the dinosaurs but also for the jeff goldblumin']. so cute but so mischievous. small in stature but could eat your face. something you must be aware of in your day to day lives, peoples!

7) What is the ultimate baby-making song? At what volume should this song be played while making babies?

the whole of outkast's ATLiens. volume 4. if you are in the process of making babies, i would hope an album would do the beautiful thing justice rather than a motherfucking song.

i just called my boyfriend and asked him his answer to this question and he was all like "uhhh, i dunno, something cliche like marvin gaye or, uh, something". i knew i should have picked a more creative man!

8) If you could punch one person in the face for free without fear of retaliation or consequence, who would it be?

two people in my past who are two of the most mean-spirited, jealous and cold individuals i have had the misfortune to experience. although the act of punching would suggest that i still give a shit about them, which is more than they deserve, so i would probably pass.

celebrities; meh, i'm not too fussed. sadie frost. davinia taylor or that bird who used to be in hollyoaks and has a very rich daddy that therefore puts her in the notting hill crowd. sienna miller. lindsay lohan. richard madeley. tracy emin. most of the cast of celebrity big brother this year.

9) True or false:

kll has had over 75 sexual partners, both male and female, in the last 10 years. Some simultaneously. How does that make you feel?

ooh that's two questions!
i fear it may be true, but i am pleased she has been so blessed in this department. she must have picked up some skillz from her marsupial/rodent collection. 75 in 10 years is not so bad - one every 6 weeks or so. i've heard worse. big up kll!

10) How's work?

shit. heart-breaking. soul destroying. i got rejected for a training course i really wanted to be on and cried for days, as documented in sureshots. now i am back in the circle of doing temporary work occasionally for people significantly less intelligent than i am doing totally unstimulating tasks. it's shit. it's horrible and exhausting. i can't do it anymore.

that said, i did get a call today to maybe do a music video next week! didn't pick up the band/artist's name but the producer has done stuff for dj shadow [wooh!] and, erm, liberty x [erm...]. that would be okay. but the problem in this industry is that i don't see a clear hierarchy for me to progress and reach my full attainment of fabulousness. i certainly don't want to be doing thankless tasks for some asshole for 20 years. i want to be successful and valued, goddamnit. a large thing to ask but nevertheless i don't think any of us should settle for less.

i think soon i have to make a big decision; move to london, go back to university for a different career, or something else entirely. i am considering doing a masters @ the national film and television school in beaconsfield in producing. a "fast-track" route that will actually teach me the skills i desire, so i hear. who knows. i'm still waiting for the big thumb of god to come bursting out from the clouds saying "CLAIRE! THIS IS WHAT YOU SHALL DO!"
ho hum.

I'd like to thank you for taking the time to answer these sexy ass questions, Claire. Is there anything you'd like to add before we go?

yes. my age, plus your number of sexual partners, times the number of people viewing this thread divided by what age you would find it inappropriate to look at a female and find her attractive. what is the figure?

:cool:

cosmo105

03-28-2006, 01:26 PM

mmm. eyelid kissing. ahh.

mickill

03-28-2006, 01:44 PM

I think that was undoubtedly the most heartfelt and compelling interview we've had in this threadso far, even if I do say so myself.

DIGI

03-28-2006, 02:14 PM

Until now. Let's do this.

kll

03-28-2006, 03:44 PM

Until now. Let's do this.

Mickill says:
did you see the latest interview?
Mickill says:
please let me do one for DIGI

go ahead, mickill... DIGI is all yours...

na§tee

03-28-2006, 04:34 PM

thanks mickill. a pleasure. a pleasure if only for the fact that i reminded cosmo of the blissful-ness of having yr eyelids kissed - ahhh, such sweet elation! :)

i would like to make an addition to question #7: what is the ultimate baby making song?
as well as outkast's ATLiens, i would like to add d'angelo's brown sugar. oh yes. do me to lady or smooth or when we get by, future father of my children! or even the later album voodoo; untitled or that one with meth 'n' red and i'm all yours!

mickill

03-28-2006, 04:54 PM

Mickill says:
did you see the latest interview?
Mickill says:
please let me do one for DIGI

go ahead, mickill... DIGI is all yours...
That was totally taken out of context and made to sound unncessarily homoerotic, you cock.

THE DIGI INTERVIEW!

Before we begin I'd just like to take this time to thank you for da da da okay let's get started, shall we?

1) What was your childhood like? Basically I'm asking you why you are the way you are. Like, I'm curious what made you like this. I'm wondering what in your childhood could have possibly affected you in such a way that you would become this absurdly fucked up.

2) Unscramble the following words without rearranging the syntax:

lkl si a otlat kfiungc asdal sreots dna nca og ot lehl ofr lal I eacr

3) What's your favorite car? Would you fellate a 12 inch zebra striped dildo for 30 seconds on Howard Stern, both live on the air and in front of a camera for this car and tickets to Cats?

4) Would you tear your own scrotum off with your bare hands for $10,000?

5) Would you do it to put an end to world hunger?

6) Would you have your penis surgically replaced with a monkey's foot to put an end to deforestation and restore ecological balance in the Amazon rainforests?

7) Who's the hottest female on the bbmb? Would you boink her if she consented to it and was willing to pay for and make all your travel arrangements for you?

8) Who would win in a steel cage match between yourself and Qdrop? How do you think the fight would go? Would you be worried about your balls touching eachother's and the presence of involuntary erections?

9) If kll were a vegetable, which one would she be? A potato perhaps?

10) Have you ever had a professional massage? Ever requested a "happy ending"? How'd it go?

I'd like to thank you for taking the time to answer my sexy ass questions, Randy. Is there anything you'dlike to add before we conclude here?

synch

03-28-2006, 05:12 PM

That was totally taken out of context and made to sound unncessarily homoerotic, you cock.
Yeah, the homoerotic undertone was a given.

DIGI

03-29-2006, 10:40 AM

HERE WE GO:

That was totally taken out of context and made to sound unncessarily homoerotic, you cock.

THE DIGI INTERVIEW!

Before we begin I'd just like to take this time to thank you for da da da okay let's get started, shall we?

1) What was your childhood like? Basically I'm asking you why you are the way you are. Like, I'm curious what made you like this. I'm wondering what in your childhood could have possibly affected you in such a way that you would become this absurdly fucked up.

NOTHING REALLY. I HAD A VERY HEALTHY CHILDHOOD WITH LOVING, SUPPORTIVE PARENTS AND TWO OLDER SISTERS THAT WOULD DO ANYTHING FOR ME. WELL, THERE WAS THAT ONE TIME WHEN I WAS YOUNG AT A FAMILY REUNION WHERE MY GRANDPA, DAD, AND TWO UNCLES FED ME 3 WINE COOLERS AND TOOK TURNS TOUCHING MY BUTTHOLE. WE DON'T TALK ABOUT THAT, THOUGH.

2) Unscramble the following words without rearranging the syntax:

lkl si a otlat kfiungc asdal sreots dna nca og ot lehl ofr lal I eacr

KLL HAS AIDS

3) What's your favorite car? Would you fellate a 12 inch zebra striped dildo for 30 seconds on Howard Stern, both live on the air and in front of a camera for this car and tickets to Cats?

REALISTICALLY, I WOULD LIKE TO OWN A VW R32. I PROBABLY WOULDN'T FELLATE A ZEBRA STRIPED DILDO FOR THIS CAR AND TICKETS TO CATS, BUT I WOULD FELLATE AN ACTUAL ZEBRA TO SEE A PRODUCTION OF RENT STARRING KLL......BECAUSE SHE HAS AIDS.

4) Would you tear your own scrotum off with your bare hands for $10,000?

NO, BECAUSE I WOULD MISS THAT OLD FAMILIAR PAIN I RECEIVE THERE AFTER READING THE MAJORITY OF PEOPLE'S POSTS HERE.

5) Would you do it to put an end to world hunger?

SURE.

6) Would you have your penis surgically replaced with a monkey's foot to put an end to deforestation and restore ecological balance in the Amazon rainforests?

GIVEN THE AMOUNT OF LIVES (ANIMALS INCLUDED) THAT ARE DEVASTATED DAILY BY DEFORESTATION AND THE DRAMATIC ECOLOGICAL NEGATIVES THAT ARE BROUGHT UPON BY IT, I WOULD HAVE TO SAY NO. EVEN THOUGH IT PROBABLY ENABLE ME TO BECOME A BETTER BREAKDANCER AND/OR SOCCER PLAYER, I AM A HUMANITARIAN AND THE THOUSANDS OF FEMALE LIVES THAT WOULD BECOME SEEMINGLY USELESS, THUS DESTROYED, DUE TO THE FACT THAT THEY WOULD NEVER BE ABLE TO INTERACT WITH MY PENIS IN A VARIETY OF WAYS REALLY TURNS THIS INTO A ONE-SIDED DEBATE.

NO.

7) Who's the hottest female on the bbmb? Would you boink her if she consented to it and was willing to pay for and make all your travel arrangements for you?

THERE ARE SO MANY THAT IT WOULD BE IMPOSSIBLE TO NARROW IT DOWN TO JUST ONE. I DO HAVE A FEW THAT ARE OUT OF THE RUNNING, THOUGH. THAT WOULD HAVE TO BE KLL AND COSMO, NOT BECAUSE THEY'RE NOT HOT (IM SURE ANY MAN WOULD AGREE THAT THEY ARE AMONG THE COOLEST AND HOTTEST), BUT BECAUSE KLL HAS AIDS AND EVERY TIME I SHOOT COSMO A COMPLIMENT, BOOMIN SHOWS UP AND GOES ALL IKE ON ME. THAT MOTHER FUCKER'S LIKE THE WIND, DUDE.

8) Who would win in a steel cage match between yourself and Qdrop? How do you think the fight would go? Would you be worried about your balls touching eachother's and the presence of involuntary erections?

ALTHOUGH I RESPECT QDROP BECAUSE HE KNOWS HOW TO USE THIS BOARD FOR ENTERTAINMENT, LIKE MYSELF, I WOULD HAVE TO SAY I WOULD WIN, ONLY FOR THE FACT THAT HIS NAME IS BRADD. I SURMISE THAT THE EXTRA "D" IN HIS NAME STANDS FOR "DOUCHEBAG" AND I COULD NEVER LET MYSELF BE MANHANDLED BY A DOUCHEBAG. (THAT LAST SENTENCE ANSWERS YOUR LAST QUESTION AS WELL)

9) If kll were a vegetable, which one would she be? A potato perhaps?

I WOULD SAY A CARROT. I LOVE EATING CARROTS.

10) Have you ever had a professional massage? Ever requested a "happy ending"? How'd it go?

NO.

YES.

SINCE IT WAS REQUESTED BY ME TO A TOTAL STRANGER WHILE WALKING DOWN THE STREET..............NOT GOOD. WOULDN'T HAVE BEEN SO BAD IF IT WASN'T FOR THE 500 DOLLAR FINE.

I'd like to thank you for taking the time to answer my sexy ass questions, Randy. Is there anything you'dlike to add before we conclude here?

YES.

ToucanSpam

03-29-2006, 11:12 AM

Some good questions there.

mickill

03-29-2006, 11:19 AM

Nice answers. I don't see why you wouldn't get your penis surgically replaced with a monkey's foot to save the rain forests, though, man. I mean, if you're concerned with pleasuring the womenz, just think of all the possibilities a device like that could offer them.

cosmo105

03-29-2006, 12:49 PM

haha. steger doesn't care when other guys hit on me. he takes it as a compliment to his taste in bitches.

roosta

03-29-2006, 01:08 PM

wonderful

kll

03-29-2006, 01:14 PM

assholes

Monsieur Decuts

03-29-2006, 01:37 PM

i'll play if anyone's up for it

kll

03-29-2006, 01:52 PM

i'll play if anyone's up for it

If you could be anyone else on this board, who would it be and why?

What's the most embarrassing moment in your sexual history?

Have you ever been aroused while watching animals or insects have sex and if so, what were you watching?

What was the first album that you bought and truly got into to the point of obsession?

What body part repulses you?

Where would you take one Beastie Boy for lunch if you had the chance and what would you order?

How long has it been since you changed your sheets?

Do you ever NOT wear underwear when you're going through a typical day?

Have you ever picked up a hitchhiker?

DIGI

03-29-2006, 02:17 PM

assholes

Is that some kinda crack at my shattered childhood?

NOT COOL!!

kll

03-29-2006, 02:18 PM

Is that some kinda crack at my shattered childhood?

NOT COOL!!

where in the world did you gather that you would be involved?

DIGI

03-29-2006, 02:24 PM

where in the world did you gather that you would be involved?

Minnetonka, MN

still not cool.

na§tee

03-29-2006, 02:26 PM

cosmo105

03-29-2006, 02:30 PM

i'd like to interview someone.

cosmo105

03-29-2006, 02:34 PM

*cough* like i said, i'd like to interview someone...anyone...*stands on tiptoes, squinting into the crowd*...anyone?

mickill

03-29-2006, 02:37 PM

Hey! I know! You should interview DIGI!

cosmo105

03-29-2006, 02:38 PM

i liked our interview mickill. i have warm, gooey memories of it.

na§tee

03-29-2006, 02:45 PM

i enjoyed being probed by mickill, too. however he didn't do my mathematical sum at the end of my interview, heh ;)
i think each person should only be allowed to do interviews/be interviewed once, otherwise the board whores like us will have to reveal when was the last time we took a shit etc about 5 times. i tried to mix it up with the t to the p to the k. i have to take a step back now. oh yes.

maybe we should just have a "question a board member" thread whereby we can ask anyone however many times any question. but only one per post. if you get what i mean. meh. i'm not making any sense. i'm gonna go to bed now.

cosmo105

03-29-2006, 02:47 PM

SLEEP TIGHT, LITTLE ONE. SWEET DREAMS. ISN'T SHE AN ANGEL WHEN SHE'S SLEEPING?

haha i didn't realize i had caps lock on. hell with it, i'm leaving it that way.

Freebasser

03-29-2006, 02:47 PM

I haven't been interviewed.

I'm special.

DIGI

03-29-2006, 02:48 PM

Hey! I know! You should interview DIGI!

I'M FUN!!!!!!

Freebasser

03-29-2006, 02:49 PM

We're special and fun!

cosmo105

03-29-2006, 02:50 PM

I haven't been interviewed.

I'm special.
DIBS!!!

digi, i know you're fun. but i just don't feel comfortable doing it. i mean, you've really got to stop sending me your boxers in the mail. my mailbox reeks.

Lex Diamonds

03-29-2006, 02:52 PM

i mean, you've really got to stop sending me your boxers in the mail. my mailbox reeks.
Is it making his boxers reek as well?

hahawtfpwned

DIGI

03-29-2006, 02:54 PM

DIBS!!!

digi, i know you're fun. but i just don't feel comfortable doing it. i mean, you've really got to stop sending me your boxers in the mail. my mailbox reeks.

Fine. But there's noooooo way I'm gonna stop sendin my skivies. I promise I'll start washing them first. I can't promise the streaks will come out, though. Those babies are set deep.

marsdaddy

03-29-2006, 03:02 PM

I mean, if you're concerned with pleasuring the womenz, just think of all the possibilities a device like that could offer them.I knew your wife's good looks couldn't overcome your deficiencies in the baby making department.

kll

03-29-2006, 03:51 PM

cosmo, interview freebie

kll

03-29-2006, 04:05 PM

cmute, pick anyone you wish to interview...

roosta

03-29-2006, 04:54 PM

someone interview me. NOW.

cosmo105

03-29-2006, 05:18 PM

~*FrEeBaSsEr'S tOtAlLy WiCkEd InTeRvIeW*~

Good day to you, sir. How are you this fine whatever time of day it is in Wales?

Now that we've got the small talk out of the way. Dish the dirt. Whose brains do you want to fuck out the hardest on here. Answer in haiku form.

Interesting. I'm a little uncomfortable now. But slightly aroused. Okay, a lot. So, what would you say is your biggest regret from childhood? Young adulthood? Nowhood?

Name an internet cliche that you really wish would just fucking die already.

Name a swishy pale canadian board member whose name starts with "P" that you really wish would just fucking die already.

If you were to travel to the United States sometime on "holiday" (that's what you Brits call it, right?), would you visit me and Steger or just hang out in the bushes across the street with binoculars? Please give answer in iambic pentameter.

Who on the board makes you laugh the hardest?

Who on the board makes you thrash and scream in pleasure the loudest?

Who on the board gets your goat the most?

Your alpaca?

How do you talk to an angel?

What the fuck is the big fucking deal about Emily Dickinson?

How do you like your eggs?

Where do you see yourself in five years? Ten? Four thousand?

What's your favorite memory from primary school?

What's the most mean-spirited thing you've ever done to another person? Do you feel bad about it? Or are you a horrible, horrible shell of a heartless being like kll?

Thanks for your time. Your money's on the dresser.

The Notorious LOL

03-29-2006, 05:31 PM

someone interview me I have all my shots and I rarely make a mess on the rug :o

DandyFop

03-29-2006, 06:11 PM

Give me someone to interview, yeahhhhhh!!!!

Freebasser

03-29-2006, 06:34 PM

.~*FrEeBaSsEr'S tOtAlLy WiCkEd InTeRvIeW*~

~*FrEeBaSsEr'S tOtAlLy WiCkEd InTeRvIeW*~

Good day to you, sir. How are you this fine whatever time of day it is in Wales?

I’ve told you before, it’s not Wales! It’s Scotland! Jesus Christ on a bike…

Now that we've got the small talk out of the way. Dish the dirt. Whose brains do you want to fuck out the hardest on here. Answer in haiku form.

I don’t like mind fucks
I prefer nice vaginas
More soft and gooey

Interesting. I'm a little uncomfortable now. But slightly aroused. Okay, a lot. So, what would you say is your biggest regret from childhood? Young adulthood? Nowhood?

Here’s a paper towel. My biggest regret is probably that I wasn’t quite as awesome as I am now. I mean, it’s to be expected really; I was a lot younger and more naïve back then.

Name an internet cliche that you really wish would just fucking die already.

Fucking animated GIFs that start with fucking star wars clips and end with some tired old internet gif spliced into it - like that cat jumping on that fucking baby’s face. That baby has to be at least 18 by now.

Name a swishy pale canadian board member whose name starts with "P" that you really wish would just fucking die already.

PMickill? Yeah, he can suck my ass.

If you were to travel to the United States sometime on "holiday" (that's what you Brits call it, right?), would you visit me and Steger or just hang out in the bushes across the street with binoculars? Please give answer in iambic pentameter.

I would likely come to stay at your gaff
Though only to chill with the one called Matt
I’d wipe my cock all over his pillow
And’ you could take some pictures if thou wants

Who on the board makes you laugh the hardest?

If by hard you mean ‘liquified jelly’ then probably you or Mickill.

Who on the board makes you thrash and scream in pleasure the loudest?

ToucanSpam

Who on the board gets your goat the most?

BbOYZ_Go@tHurDer_12

Your alpaca?

No comment.

How do you talk to an angel?

I say, “Hey Becky, how you doin’?”;)

What the fuck is the big fucking deal about Emily Dickinson?

I don’t care for action films. Sorry.

How do you like your eggs?

I like two of them, lightly broiled, coated in sesame seeds and allowed to mature in the dung of a mountain lion for ten years, before being served as a side dish to a main course of monkey brains and flamingo in sarin sauce.

Where do you see yourself in five years? Ten? Four thousand?

5 years - 20,000 posts
Ten years - 40,000 posts
Four thousand years - Reincarnated as a half badger-half goldfish superhero on a quest for vengeance with magnifying glasses for eyes and a piano necktie. 200,000 posts.

What's your favorite memory from primary school?

Watching it burn to the ground with the headmaster still locked in his office. They still haven’t caught me.

What's the most mean-spirited thing you've ever done to another person? Do you feel bad about it? Or are you a horrible, horrible shell of a heartless being like kll?

I once pinned a man to the ground and cut out his eyes with a rusty chisel, before gutting him like a fish. Oh wait… that was an Emily Dickinson film.

Thanks for your time. Your money's on the dresser.

Cheers. If you don’t mind I’ll just take anything else of value on my way out too.

ericlee

03-29-2006, 06:52 PM

sorry bout the gifs man, I was running out of memory on my laptop, saw the opportunity to post them and did so before I erase them.

kll

03-29-2006, 07:08 PM

Give me someone to interview, yeahhhhhh!!!!
interview roosta, por favor

DIGI would you please interview LOL?

cosmo105

03-29-2006, 08:15 PM

aid, i feel so much closer to you now. I'm so glad we shared that.

Freebasser

03-29-2006, 08:53 PM

It was only a fucking pie. Get over yourself.

zorra_chiflada

03-29-2006, 11:44 PM

i want to be interviewed now.

DandyFop

03-29-2006, 11:45 PM

someone interview me. NOW.

Aight roostykins, it's your turn.

AHEM

Would you consider your loss of virginity a success? How old were you?

What quality of your mother do you find in yourself?

What's the meanest thing someone's ever done to you?

What's your favorite body part on the opposite sex?

Do you like giving head? Do you think you are good at it?

If you could watch two people on the BBMB mud-wrestle, who would it be?

Is my cat insane? Seriously, she's running around, wigging out and meowing really creepily....

Who is the hottest Batman?

What's your favorite line in Blues Brothers?

Have you ever met someone off of the internet? Was it a romantic thing?

Will you be okay with naming our son Woodstock? Cause I've always wanted to name a son that.

CrankItUp!

03-29-2006, 11:48 PM

i want to be interviewed now.
ok, what is your avatar actually of ?:confused:

Tzar

03-29-2006, 11:50 PM

ok, what is your avatar actually of ?:confused:
my name is zorra...

it's a pic of one of the characters in that "all your base etc etc" thing.

B4BY 4NN

03-29-2006, 11:52 PM

OHOHME!

zorra_chiflada

03-29-2006, 11:53 PM

my name is zorra...

it's a pic of one of the characters in that "all your base etc etc" thing.

yeah, it's the guy that says "what you say??"
him. yep. internet fad.

CrankItUp!

03-29-2006, 11:55 PM

my name is zorra...

it's a pic of one of the characters in that "all your base etc etc" thing.
Thanks Zorra...for enlightening me on that. :)

roosta

03-30-2006, 03:02 AM

DandyFop : Aight roostykins, it's your turn.

AHEM

Would you consider your loss of virginity a success? How old were you?

Well, i successfully lost it. All other factors i'd rather not consider.

What quality of your mother do you find in yourself?

A "if you want a job done well, do it yourself" mentality. But all her other qualities such as hard-work, determination and responsibility where never successfully transferred, thus making me a person who says "if you want a job done well, do it yourself" then never actually doing it and thus dissapointing people.

What's the meanest thing someone's ever done to you?

Just recently a girl im fond of kissed me in a nite club in order to get rid of some random shithead who was stalking her, then said "meet me here in 10 minutes after ive gotten rid of him" then never showed. But, to be honest, i was over it 1 minute after that. Nothing else truely mean has ever been done to me...im a man who is feared and respected.

What's your favorite body part on the opposite sex?

Legs

Do you like giving head? Do you think you are good at it?

I have never attempted to orally please a man, thus i do not know wether I am fond of it or if i am good at it. I can only assume that I would not enjoy it, in that I am not sexually attracted to men, or their willys.

If you could watch two people on the BBMB mud-wrestle, who would it be?

You and cosmo.

Is my cat insane? Seriously, she's running around, wigging out and meowing really creepily....

I'd say she's probably possessed by some sort of devil or demon. I would consult your local Roman Catholic priest before the spirit begins to manipulate the creatures properties of size and strenght, turning it into a larger, more deadly cat.

Who is the hottest Batman?

Oh......well Adam West was the only one confident in himself not to utilise a pre-sculpted chest plate, and would proudly run about Gotham City with his man-boobs showing...so that shows a kind of inate confidence which I dare say most women would find sexy. He also had those white painted-on eye brows. Michael Keaton had a kind of hi-top Jew-fro thing going on...Val Kilmer looked like a date-rapist...George Clooney I am reliably informed by my female friends is ubér hot and Christian Bale I am confident to say is a handsome enough man. So, i guess my answer is.....the early 90's animated version of Batman. His head was a cuboid, when he was Bruce Wayne he was one meter in diameter and when he was Batman he was about half that.

What's your favorite line in Blues Brothers?

"I'll throw in the black keys for free" OR

[They all meet Jake and Elwood at one of the tables.]

Willie: So Jake, you're out, you're free, you're rehabilitated, what's next what's happening, whatcha gonna do? You got the money you owe us motherfucker?

Have you ever met someone off of the internet? Was it a romantic thing?

Well, i met tpk at a beastie boys concert in Belgium by chance. Unfortunately he turned down my offer of a candle-lit dinner followed by watching the sun rise over Brussells. :(

Will you be okay with naming our son Woodstock? Cause I've always wanted to name a son that.

Woodstock is fine.....but only if our daughter is called DeLorean.

DandyFop

03-30-2006, 03:27 AM

Dude "giving head" isn't just a blowjob...it goes both ways.

p.s. DeLorean is an AWESOME NAME

roosta

03-30-2006, 03:34 AM

Dude "giving head" isn't just a blowjob...it goes both ways.

p.s. DeLorean is an AWESOME NAME

ahhhhhhhhhhhhhh....................trans-atlantic smutty slang translation mix up.....

no i dont like giving head, and as such suspect i am no good at it!

Lyman Zerga

03-30-2006, 03:48 AM

Dude "giving head" isn't just a blowjob...it goes both ways.

!

kll

03-30-2006, 10:08 AM

Zorra please interview B4BY 4NN

B4BY 4NN please interview Crankitup!

LOL please interview Zorra

DIGI

03-30-2006, 11:13 AM

THE NOTORIOUS LOL INTERVIEW:

1) If you had a choice of any profession, what would it be and why?

2) If you found your future to be financially sound and you could live anywhere in the world, where and why?

3) Do you think it would be cool if unicorns existed? Could they possibly pose a threat to the human race..........like robots?

4) Abortion: Like it or Love it?

5) What is Barb like..............on the inside?

6) If you could assemble your own music festival comprised of any musician(s) of any time period, who, where, and how much would the beer cost?

7) KILL, FUCK, MARRY: Cosmo, Barb, DipDipDive?

8) What's herpes like, really?

9) What's the hardest drug you've ever tried?

10) What did you do yesterday in chronological order (be specific)?

**BONUS: What's your favorite episode of Mr. Show and why?

thanks.

The Notorious LOL

03-30-2006, 12:25 PM

THE NOTORIOUS LOL INTERVIEW:

1) If you had a choice of any profession, what would it be and why?

something in writing or comedy, along those lines. Basically kind of do things at my own pace.

2) If you found your future to be financially sound and you could live anywhere in the world, where and why?

I would probably have a few houses in different spots in the world. I like the pacific northwest a lot, maybe someplace in europe like the UK as well.

3) Do you think it would be cool if unicorns existed? Could they possibly pose a threat to the human race..........like robots?

I think they would cause a problem with air traffic controllers and probably make their jobs much much more stressful cuz theyd have to redirect planes and shit and unicorns would invade the airspace and all that shit

4) Abortion: Like it or Love it?

I think its a good way to bring out the kid in you lol mr show lol. I would say overall I love it though.

5) What is Barb like..............on the inside?

this obviously means intellecutally and emotionally, and I will say shes gifted in that regard

6) If you could assemble your own music festival comprised of any musician(s) of any time period, who, where, and how much would the beer cost?

The Wu Tang Clan Band and The Beatles circa 1967, special guests Led Zeppelin with Keith Moon guest drumming a few tracks alongside bonzo. Beer would be free. In fact they would give you money to drink it!

7) KILL, FUCK, MARRY: Cosmo, Barb, DipDipDive?

If I was a mormon I could wed all three and make them feed my cattle and mow the lawn and paint the shed. DipDipDive would be the one I bed, however. The other two would be expendable wives

8) What's herpes like, really?

I actually had a scare with it about two and a half years ago and became convinced I had it. Tested mulitiple times negative. Saw a shrink for a while and let it go altogether in time.

9) What's the hardest drug you've ever tried?

probably LSD I suppose. I really didnt like that at all. Psychedelics in general tend to piss me off because you cant fully snap out of it and sober yourself up like you can with pot or alcohol to an extent. You just have to let it run its course

10) What did you do yesterday in chronological order (be specific)?

1)woke up quick at about noon, 2) thought that I had to be in Compton soon. 3). Got drunk before the day began. 4). Mom bitched about my friends.

**BONUS: What's your favorite episode of Mr. Show and why?

"Its insane this guys taint" mainly cuz the Taint Mansion is exactly how I see myself living in the future. Offering aspirins and phonecalls to guests. Ahhh

DIGI

03-30-2006, 12:49 PM

I thank you for your candor, sir. Well done.

cosmo105

03-30-2006, 12:53 PM

no way am i marrying your ass, especially if i have to do that shit AND not get any. lol @ unicorns though.

The Notorious LOL

03-30-2006, 01:43 PM

you can keep steger around. Im fine with that.

Bob

03-30-2006, 01:57 PM

The Bob Interview

First of all, I must thank you Bob for being here today, and taking the time to answer these questions. It is greatly appreciated.

1) Describe from start to finish your perfect birthday.

wake up -> begin drinking -> large breakfast -> continued drinking -> expensive presents and possibly strippers -> cake -> more strippers -> sleep

either that or a bunch of cash from relatives, i don't know

2) If you could trade a body part with any celebrity, who, what and why?

Tom jones' libido

3) What body part of yours would get the most on eBay?

probably my hair, turd would probably pay a lot for it

4) Speaking candidly, how would your parents describe you?

magnificent

A) How would your friends?

slightly less magnificent

5) Did you have a security blanket as kid, if so what was it?

i had this little plastic bird thingy that i kept in my pocket. i don't know why i chose that, i guess i just decided that i needed a lucky charm and that was the first thing i saw. i don't know where it is today

6) What makes you feel comfortable and uncomfortable?

fans and snakes, respectively

7) What made you decide to become a lawyer, and how old were you when you made this decision?

i'm still not sure i want to be a lawyer per se, i just know that i stand to graduate from undergraduate college and i have absolutely no prospects for a career or any sort of interesting future...graduate education seems like the logical thing to do and law school seems to be what i'm most qualified for with what i know how to do...i was 21 or 20 when i decided to go, and i'm still 21 now, actually

8) (The Mandatory Board Member Question) Which board member would you
expose yourself to?

freebasser

9) Of the following choices who would you be and why?

A) Bill Gates
B) Michael Jackson
C) Bono
D) Ron Jeremy

Bono, because i've always wanted to be irish. he's irish, right?

10) If you had a vagina, would you try to drink Dr. Pepper with it?

probably not

Bonus Question:

You come home for the weekend, and your mom has one of her friends over who is very hot. As you are sitting in the chair you notice that you can see up your mom’s friend dress. You further notice that it looks like she is not wearing any panties. What do you do?

stare, what else? not while she's looking, of course

.

voltanapricot

03-30-2006, 02:17 PM

2) If you found your future to be financially sound and you could live anywhere in the world, where and why?

I would probably have a few houses in different spots in the world. I like the pacific northwest a lot, maybe someplace in europe like the UK as well.
Europe? YOU? Bloody lies!

p.s. I'd loike an interview kll, arr.

The Notorious LOL

03-30-2006, 02:28 PM

Europe is far better than most of the US. I just like to carry the boisterous america is #1 vibe on the board. ;)

kll

03-30-2006, 02:40 PM

Europe? YOU? Bloody lies!

p.s. I'd loike an interview kll, arr.

If you are getting your hair cut and styled and you can see before the stylist is done that you are not going to like it, do you speak up and have it corrected before it's too late or suffer over the next several weeks/months with shitty hair?

If you recognized the beastie boys walking down the street, would you run up to them and introduce yourself or continue walking, run home and post on your computer that you just saw them?

If you could type mean things to the the 3 board members that you dislike the most, what would you say to them?

If you were travelling in a car that just hit a dog, would you pull over to see if you could help it or continue driving?

Where would your ideal vacation be and what would you do there?

Would you rather have oral sex with minton or tpk?

Do you ever look at GEA's Sure Shots page to reference what members look like?

Have you ever masturbated to a celebrity? If yes, who?

Do you shave/pluck your toe hairs?

What is your biggest guilty pleasure?

DandyFop

03-30-2006, 02:42 PM

5) What is Barb like..............on the inside?

this obviously means intellecutally and emotionally, and I will say shes gifted in that regard

I would have totally answered this with..."and I thought they smelled bad...on the outside!".

But LOL's right, I do rule.

Hey now someone's gotta interview me, I already did two peeps in this thread.

DandyFop

03-30-2006, 02:43 PM

no way am i marrying your ass, especially if i have to do that shit AND not get any. lol @ unicorns though.

Dude, that's what strap-ons are for. Leave their gross hetero sex out of it. US WIVES WILL NOT BE IGNORED

kll

03-30-2006, 02:43 PM

Hey now someone's gotta interview me, I already did two peeps in this thread.

cmute, will you interview dandy already? she's still not convinced that you don't have ovaries...

zippo

03-30-2006, 03:23 PM

id just like to say that i was the one that inspired this whole interview craze thing when i used to interview turd frequently through the chat last year, and then he made his "ask me anything" thread which then everyone started copying. then kll went all nuts and did this whole massive interview thread, the one im typing into now.

and after all that, aaaall that, the true creator behind this beastie board phenomenon still hasnt gotten interviewed.

in other words...cmon now.

kll

03-30-2006, 03:32 PM

tpk

03-30-2006, 03:47 PM

ROLL UP! ROLL UP! EXCLUSIVE!
>THE TPK INTERVIEW<
tpk! thankyou very much for agreeing to this exclusive interview. i had to blow 4 assistants - male and female - to work my way up the beastie boys level of bureaucracy but no matter - after 6 hours of bustin' moves in the foyer i finally got into tpk's pimped-out purple-suede-adorned offices and offered these questions to the sultan of the bboys message board:

1. so, you have been an administrator here since day zer0. for which we are most grateful. tell us; what year, do you think, was your personal heyday here at the beasties message boards? in terms of quality of content, frequency i myself have posted [just joshing!], nostalgic enjoyment etc? why?

alright, thanks for pickin me for your little interview. i'm honored. i'm probably gonna go all serious on these questions just so you know. there's gonna
be no clownin goin on. this is serious right here.

1. ALrIGHT, i can't really pick a year. i've met some funny ass people from this board, but it's all spread out over like 7 years. but if i had to pick a
year i'd say 2003 since 2003 was a fuckin great year with coachella as like a cool highlight where i also met a lot of mb'ers for the first time. that
was like the first time i hooked up with people from the board for real. content wise on the boards, it's always been the same really. it's extra special
though inbetween bboys releases where only the regulars would be active.

2. how does a normal day begin for you? start with your choice of breakfast products:

2. probably to your disappointment my day would start with me not eating breakfast..i don't really do breakfast. i eat when i'm hungry really, and unless
i'd be in a weird morning state, i would just start the day with a cigarette. anyway, i'd be getting up at like 6pm, check emails whatever, just to get
like an up-to-date feel. meet whoever i'm meeting. kick it, maybe eat some before the food places close. get back home, get into hack-mode, deal with
all the harass complaints from mb users mixed with people asking me who the user behind the alias Mr. Fuck Knows What really is. And inbetween all that
i would like, hit the gym, and some days i also actually do real work haha.

3. say, if you created a male and a female baby - twins - [i don't want to seem presumptive and assume you have already!], what are your top three choices of names for each sex?

3. whoa top three is a lot. if i'd have a son i'd probably name him vincent. a real kick ass name. works good as a young kid and as a middle aged bad
ass. it would also work if he happend to become like a computer hacker/nerd. and as for a dotter i like the name max (you know, dark angel..) that's a
really nice name. might be a bit too casual though. my exgirlfriend's sister is named tablespoon123, i really like that too. it means something that i can't
recall right now.

4. you invite a special laydee around for dinner. perhaps the woman you created babies with. what is your culinary speciality that you would prepare for said female acquaintance?

4. i can be pretty romantic if that's what you're looking for. but as for food, i dont really cook. if you gonna spend more time preparing the food than
eating it, something's definitely not right. but yeah right, for a lady. uummm if not vegetarian, chicken. maybe even a really classy ceasar sallad.
something fresh anyhow. it's not like i know names for dishes.

5. glenelg is a small and unimportant village on the western coast of scotland famous as the only place in britain whose name is a palindrome [spelt the same backwards as forwards]. do you know of any shiteholes that have a claim to fame for an extremely unimportant reason?

5. australia.

6. my boyfriend ranald has currently been tasked with the thankless duty of redesigning the input for his underperforming football club's website: www.rosscountyfootballclub.co.uk (http://www.rosscountyfootballclub.co.uk), despite being unskilled to the max in web development. just how bad is this site on a scale of 1 to 10? how would you improve it?

6. haha. he's gotta be lucky you're so suportive. but yeah so the entire site is made in flash which is a huge minus. there's no point in making a
website in flash unless you're gonna be using some heavy visual graphics on it. and as far as i can see the site is exploring in the mouseover world of
scripts which would be like step one out of 1000 for visual graphics. but the site itself is not that bad looking. i'd give it a 5 for the design but
just for the fact that it's all flash i'll give it a 4 out of 10.

7. i give you one million dollars for being website administrator of the year 2006 on behalf of the Awesome Admin Association (AAA). half you spend on a holiday home in a country of your choice and half you give to charity. what country/area/type of house and what charity?

7. i'd be in beach house in hawaii, like maybe on kauii or something. can't front on hawaii, great weather and awesome scenery. the rest of the money
i'd hand off to some organisation dealing with animals' rights or something within that area. feels right. animals are innocent but yet they get fucked
with. i still eat them though so i should probably shut up.

8. who did you last send an email to? what was it regarding?

8. last one sent was to yauch, thanking him for the freestyle he dropped over the machine the other night.

9. do you dance in "da club"? if so, what sort of moves do you bust-out? much like the ones i did outside yr office? were you impressed?

9. you know, i suck at dancing. i stopped trying a few years ago. i was gonna take dance lessons last time i was in cali from this 5 year old girl a
friend of mine knows. but she never came through. and i am being 100% serious right now. apparently the girl got moves. it'll have to wait till the
summer.

and finally, i think the beastie boys message boards need to know:

10. minton: hot or not?

10. hey if fuckin joaquin phoenix is hot i'm guessing minton is too right? he's no jessica alba though.

alright that's it. sorry for the long ass answers.
.

zorra_chiflada

03-30-2006, 03:55 PM

5. glenelg is a small and unimportant village on the western coast of scotland famous as the only place in britain whose name is a palindrome [spelt the same backwards as forwards]. do you know of any shiteholes that have a claim to fame for an extremely unimportant reason?

5. australia.

you are such a hater! ugh! i don't even know where to begin!

tpk

03-30-2006, 04:07 PM

you are such a hater! ugh! i don't even know where to begin!haha awesome.

zorra_chiflada

03-30-2006, 04:08 PM

nastee should have asked "tpk, now just why are you such a hater? hmm?"

kll

03-30-2006, 04:09 PM

nastee should have asked "tpk, now just why are you such a hater? hmm?"
she also should've asked him who he hates on the board... that would've been cool too...

zorra_chiflada

03-30-2006, 04:10 PM

oh, tpk is too professional about his work for that!

Echewta

03-30-2006, 04:13 PM

Last thing I wanted to read was an interview of TPK.

na§tee

03-30-2006, 04:16 PM

haha! what a great set of answers, tpk! love'em. great job!
my highlights:
rosscountyfootballclub's analysis [have forwarded to him - lolz].
australia.
yauch.
caesar salad (y) a good choice, young sir.
alias mr. fuck knows what.

hehe!
and minton in the same league as mr. phoenix, my prime crush himself? hmm, i gotta get those D1G1T5 :cool:

kll; i would have been blatant and just asked him to list his 10 most fabulous/least fabulous board members but i thought his answer on last emails would have been much more insightful; just think, we would never have known that yauch has an 0800 number where he, for the price of just £1.50 and a pint of ribena, will freestyle into your phone. hehe. (y)

kll

03-30-2006, 04:22 PM

oh, tpk is too professional about his work for that!

yeah, you're right. i don't know tpk at all, so i really can't say what he would or wouldn't answer...

zippo

03-30-2006, 04:42 PM

nice questions nastee, for real

cosmo105

03-30-2006, 05:10 PM

you can keep steger around. Im fine with that.
oh awesome. please make him do 4 times more chores than i do. kthnx.

mickill

03-30-2006, 05:36 PM

Monsieur Decuts

03-30-2006, 06:55 PM

THE MONSIEUR DECUTS INTERVIEW. SHORT AND SWEET

If you could be anyone else on this board, who would it be and why?

I'd be someone like Enigma or Dray that has a good way with words and takes the time to debate...i'm to emotional/lazy to fully explain myself on the internizzle...i hate editing

What's the most embarrassing moment in your sexual history?

easily the time i was about to come and pulled out and then sorta lost my balance and tiped over as I was going and the wood flung back to my body and i got myself in the eye...i'm going to throw it out there, It almost went in my mouth. I lost a lot of hand in that relationship that day. top 10 funny life moments.
close 2nd was when i had my first wet dream and I didn't know wtf that was about but knew I made a mess so I tried to sneak some saran wrap up to my room to try and wrap around and not make a mess and I got caught by mom and had to explain it all and learned that i was "playing with a loaded gun now" direct quote.

Have you ever been aroused while watching animals or insects have sex and if so, what were you watching?

No, not even Jessica Rabbit gets me hot. I just don't see animals as sexy, which is a waste in Washington state cause its a hot bed of animal lovin'.

I do think its hilarious to watch my 4 month old puppy crack wood and attempt to rape his little stuffed dog. I can't wait to cut his nuts off..

What was the first album that you bought and truly got into to the point of obsession?

The first album I owned that I was obsessed with was Dire Straits Brothers in Arms...i used to lip sync it for my parents all the time. But the first album I bought with my own money was Bigger and Deffer - LL Cool J. I rememeber driving to hockey at 6 am with my father listening to "I need Love" hahaha that's hilarious. A father, 10 year old son and some Bristol Hotel? WTF too funny.

What body part repulses you?

I don't hate any body parts, but I'd pick on the intestines for being so fugly. Visable body parts I'd have to say toenails because they have the most potential for being nasssty.

Where would you take one Beastie Boy for lunch if you had the chance and what would you order?

I'd box lunch some PB and J and meet them at the studio that would be awsome..that or we'd share some powdered lunch on the space station but in reality I'd take whoever home to my mom's house and make her whip up some potato salad..just the potato salad..so good.

How long has it been since you changed your sheets?

Its been a week. Changing sheets is a medium priority to me...I get there if I can, but I wear pajamas so i know its not the end of the world if I go a week or two.

Do you ever NOT wear underwear when you're going through a typical day?

I have and I enjoy muchly but I'm a big guy at 6'3 and so everything in proportion means that when i don't have underwears keeping things in line there's a lot of visable action in the crotchal region. This morning I walked my dog in just gym pants no undies and I'm not sure Seattle needs to see that baby's arm leading the way again.

Have you ever picked up a hitchhiker?

Definetly, although not in the last 5 years. I used to all the time in Nova Scotia, it was a viable means of transportation back in the day. I hitched all over the place when I lost my liscence for speeding. I dunno if I'd do it in the US of A however to much seed fo rmy liking.

zorra_chiflada

03-30-2006, 09:15 PM

Zorra please interview B4BY 4NN

B4BY 4NN please interview Crankitup!

LOL please interview Zorra

i bet you a dollar that lol will not interview me. but oh well, i will interview baby ann, or sak as i know her.

zorra_chiflada

03-30-2006, 09:26 PM

ok B4BY 4NN, here is your interview. geez, your name is hard to type. i don't think we know each other too well, but oh well, here goes.

1. everyone has a favourite body part of theirs. for example, i like my hair. what is your favourite.

2. i see that you're into japanese stuff, like clothing and other elements of their culture. that's cool. when did you discover this?

3. how do you think others on the message board see you? do you care?

4. how would you describe your personality in one word? (or a couple of words, if you want)

5. you're good at drawing, how long have you been doing it for? do you go to art school or anything? oh, and do you want to make a career out of it?

6. how much time daily do you spend on internet-related activities?

7. how many board people have you met in real life?

8. ummm, running out of questions.....who do you have a crush on?

9. what song are you listening to at the moment?

10. do you like me? haha ok end of interview.

Rancid_Beasties

03-30-2006, 09:32 PM

I went back and looked at my interview in this thread and I said "shizzle"???:confused:

Weird things happen when you are getting interviewed by mcmac.

B4BY 4NN

03-30-2006, 10:47 PM

1. everyone has a favourite body part of theirs. for example, i like my hair. what is your favourite.

I'd probably have to copy and say my hair's a favorite. It requires little maintenance and is always so shiny. But a lot of people have said they like my hands :confused:, and that my hands are "artistic" or those of a "pianist". I like them too.

2. i see that you're into japanese stuff, like clothing and other elements of their culture. that's cool. when did you discover this?

I used to mimic the kids at a Chinese restaurant near my old neighborhood, speaking a mock-Chinese/Japanese (I'm assuming they were Chinese) when I was oh, say, 6-7 years old? We played a lot of stupid games together, one, teaching them curse-words in English and vice-versa. My uncle would frequent Hong Kong on business bringing me back robes, and candies, and various other goodies. I dunno... My love for anime started later in life (11-12 years old), tuning me more into Japan ALONE. I've always enjoyed Asian things, though. The traditional clothing, food, etc. My mother swears I was once Asian in a previous life.

3. how do you think others on the message board see you? do you care?

Dumb, probably; a girl who uses way too many commas, a girl who's mind hasn't matured and more than likely WON'T. I won't lie. I DID care a little bit during the TOY bis era. Now, I could probably care less. This place now, for me, is like tying my shoes or taking a massive dump. It's a daily routine.

4. how would you describe your personality in one word? (or a couple of words, if you want)

Indecisive, irresponsible, procrastinator, lazy, semi-retarded

5. you're good at drawing, how long have you been doing it for? do you go to art school or anything? oh, and do you want to make a career out of it?

I've been drawing for a very long time although never took my talent into consideration up until middle school. Violin was my passion. That's changed of course. My dream profession is to own a personalized cubicle with pics of The Clash and bis hanging about; animating, illustrating for a cartoon or comic book series. But I am also looking into tattooing. (Thank you, btw :))

6. how much time daily do you spend on internet-related activities?

A lot. Less since working morning shift and all.

7. how many board people have you met in real life?

Other than HotAndWet, zero.

8. ummm, running out of questions.....who do you have a crush on?

Nobody, really.

9. what song are you listening to at the moment?

Yukari Fresh - "Yukarin Disco"

10. do you like me? haha ok end of interview.

I've no problem with you. But likewise, also don't know you very well either. I'm sure you're a very cool person.

DandyFop

03-31-2006, 01:55 AM

.The Dandy DandyFop Interview

Dandy, thank you for your time, I greatly appreciate it.

1) Dandy, you are a hot, amazing woman, tell me some of things that you like about being a woman?

Well, first, thank you for the compliment. Hmm. I'm pretty tom-boyish even though I've got big ta-tas. The best thing I guess is being able to wear skirts cause I enjoy that when it's nice out, and putting on makeup can be fun because it's amazing how much better just a little bit can look.
B) Dislikes
Not being able to orgasm during intercourse like boys can (most women can't, I hear), and of course all that bleeding crap. I also really hate that I seem to worry about being skinny and that shit.

2) Does wearing a certain outfit make you feel better about yourself? If so, what outfit, and why?
It depends on my mood...just anything that fits me well, I guess. Lately I've felt like I looked good in a t-shirt and jeans, nothing fancy. But I do have nice legs so a short skirt can be fun.

3) Did you go to your senior prom? Did you have sex that night?
I did go, yes, with my boyfriend at the time. We didn't have sex...but he did tell me I love you that night, if I remember correctly.

4) Which do you like more, to give or receive oral sex?
Never really recieved it to the full extent, so a moot point.

5) If you had to make a choice between eating a person or starvation, which would you choose? What would you eat first? I'd rather starve.

6) What is the best compliment you have ever been given? The best compliment anyone can give me is that I am funny or have a talent for telling stories since this is what I want to do with my life. A kid in my screenwriting class who is an awesome writer just asked me to co-write with him, and that was an incredible compliment.

7) Describe the best day of your childhood? I have a pretty bad memory...lots of fragments, but nothing stands out as amazing. I do remember going to the Toys-R-Us with our grandma to get our first nintendo station.

8) What would be the vilest act you would do to have all your dreams come true?
Hmm...I don't know exactly. I can tell you I would go pretty far though, I'm not really the regretful type.

9) (Mandatory Board Member Question) What board member would you most want to see naked? Why?
Mae, most definitley. Oh...wait.

Probably miss soul fire, actually. Wow I feel really creepy.

10) Since learning that Ms. Peachy can breathe through her vagina, have you tried it? What happened?
I have not tried it, though I guess if I ever get pregnant, I can try.

Bonus Question:

You go over to friend’s house to see their new baby. You notice that the child clearly has birthmark on its head of 666. What do you do?

Say "awwww, ava really does take after her daddy"

Double Bonus Question:

When masturbating, which board member do you fantasize about? Why?
I generally tend not to fantasize over one specific things, but I've had a shitload of random people flash through my brain right before the big moment. Though, there is one that's had a starring role lately. Sorry, that's not getting divulged.

Medellia

03-31-2006, 02:16 AM

Dammit, I want to be interviewed again!

King of Rock $

03-31-2006, 04:44 AM

Interviewer (me): King of Rock, how did you become this awesome no homo?
King of Rock (also me): I was born with it homeboy.

na§tee

03-31-2006, 05:16 AM

nice questions nastee, for real
gosh, thankyou!
ya know, gotta represent for the peoples! :cool:

ericlee

03-31-2006, 10:06 AM

ya know, I haven't been interviewed or interviewed anybody yet. I wouldn't mind giving it a stab.

kll

03-31-2006, 10:28 AM

ya know, I haven't been interviewed or interviewed anybody yet. I wouldn't mind giving it a stab.

I think you should interview zorra. This way, IF lol interviews her, she'll get the bonus of having TWO interviews...

ToucanSpam

03-31-2006, 11:36 AM

I rather enjoyed the tpk and DandyFop interviews.

Kid Presentable

03-31-2006, 11:38 AM

I'll interview someone.

Sarky Devotchka

03-31-2006, 11:47 AM

I want to be interviewed!

kll

03-31-2006, 12:02 PM

I want to be interviewed!
mickill please interview this poor girl...

kll

03-31-2006, 12:05 PM

I'll interview someone.
please interview cmute

Kid Presentable

03-31-2006, 12:21 PM

cmute rhyme interview

Describe to me the story of falling for noah's mother, her getting pregnant and then take us up to how things are now.

What is your favourite episode of the Simpsons?

Were you one of the 'planeteer' alias alumni?

What was the first album you owned and loved? How does it compare to the most recent one you owned and loved?

I think you're pretty clever. Do you take offense to me considering you the John Locke of this board?

Dogs are great. What do you think about Dachsunds? Did you know they can pounce at your face by flying through the air like a fish?

Do you think you could return a briefcase with 1,000 000 dollars inside? If you didn't return it, what would be your course of action for the following 48 hours?

How do you feel about the attachment we can feel toward the words of perfect strangers? What are some examples of moments on this board that have gotten a genuine negative/positive reaction from you?

Would you like to be remembered as a great athlete? If not, then what would you prefer to be remembered as?

If you could meet yourslef from five years ago would it result in:

A.) A fistfight?
B.) Chillin?
C.) Full-blown gay sex?

Why?

'Yourslef' is my favourite typo. What's yours?
Thanks dude.(y)

Rock

03-31-2006, 12:24 PM

Do me, Baby [I like it in the morning time, yeah]
Do me, Baby [Sometimes I love it in the evening, baby, yeah]
Do me, Baby [Can you do me all over, girl, yeah, yeah]
Do me, Baby

ToucanSpam

03-31-2006, 12:51 PM

I'll interview someone.
Interview me, Champ.

ericlee

03-31-2006, 12:53 PM

The Zorra Interview

Well, I'm not too good at questions but I'll give it a start with, how are you today?

Good, good. What do you come to this mb for?

If you were walking down the street and noticed if someone had a huge boogey on thier nose, would you be kind in telling them or just let them keep walking?

If a complete stranger of the opposite sex had their zipper down, would you tell them?

How would you treat someone who is addicted to counseling?

If Milli Vanilli were to fall in the woods, would someone else make a sound?

What is the list of activities that you did during your last b-boys show?

What was your favorite Christmas gift and Birthday present? Do you still have them?

If you had to pinch a loaf in a public bathroom full of people and they saw you walk into the stall and were still there while you handled your business, would you try to be discreet about it or just let it growl and echo off the walls?

If you found a wallet loaded with cash but no identification of the owner, what would you do with it?

And the final question.... Do you and Pres plan on tying the knot and if so, would you invite the board members?

Thanks for your time and I hope you enjoyed my crappy interview!

instigator7022

03-31-2006, 12:55 PM

put out an interview for me and I'll answer it on monday

zippo

03-31-2006, 01:42 PM

THE ULTIMATE ZIPPO INTERVIEW:

AN INSIDE LOOK INTO THE MIND OF AN ABSOLUTE LUNATIC

A Mickill Joint

I don't want to waste any time here, ZIPPO. So I'm gonna get right to the point. You are pretty much insane. If you had marshmallows for toes, would you walk across the Al-Dahna Desert for a glass of lemonade?

im supposing theres nothing to drink at the place im at already, so id have no choice but to walk to the lemonade, and since id be all tired and hot and almost fainting from the desert heat (no air conditioning), the goal of getting to the lemonade would give me hope. my marshmallow toes would work with me, melting at the proper pace so that when i get to the lemonade theyd be melted enough for me to eat them! dont ask me these crazy questions again you freak.

Complete the following sentences with the first word that comes to mind. Be honest.

a) I would like to kill ___you___.

b) Zippo is douche! Zippo is a douche! Zippo is a ___douche_____!

c) Zippo is a chronic masturbator __prostitute________.

d) mickill is a sex god. Zippo is a fart ____time frincess_____.

Complete the following equation:

5,001,0002>v=<Spain>y^2=x^2+\alpha^2</custard>

no joke, did you know i had to take my algebra exam four times before i managed to pass the class?

Would you drink the blood of a monkey to quench your thirst if you ran out of water in the jungle? How many porcupines does it take to screw in a light bulb?

id probably have someone hold me down and serve it to me while i pinched my nose and closed my eyes. but then id probably throw it all up becuz my stomach couldnt handle it and need more water from dehydration then i did in the beggining.

mejor te contesto en español porque, total, es la misma huevada de pregunta que me pusiste ahi. ahora, me pregunto si alguna vez pudiste ajustarte bien el foco de tu propia cabeza, loco de mierda pedazo de puta refrita. ptooie. escupo en tu cara, mafioso infeliz.

What was your childhood like? Did other children throw rocks at you or tie you to railroad tracks or anything cruel like that?

I lived in south america till i was almost 5 and then grew up in maryland till i was almost 15, so i was basically brought up a yank. we were a southamerican family living in a foreign country due to my dads job, but after kindergarden, those differences left me and i got to liking the mispronunciation of my name. i was very shy and scared of adults, but i made many friends throughout elementary school, so nothing cruel towards me,no. i do remember there was this girl who was a slut and one day in recess we all stood around her while she was sitting on the floor, and started throwing coins at her as if she were a prostitute. i sware. kids are devils.

i was a bit of a little provocateur, answering back to teachers, alot of sarcasm, relatively constant detentions. i had cycles. i also remember in 4th grade, the teacher was telling us about her trip to this place, real excited about it, and when she said something like "and then we took the sailboat over to the nearest river", i open my mouth sarcastically and gasp and say something like "no way!", cuz she was sort of an idiot, so everyone was like "whoaho!", and she grabbed my little 4th grade devil arm and took me outside and verbally scolded me.
i had a vivid imagination when i was a child and had lots of fun fantasizing in my room, or during church was the typical one, i would imagine the priest doing these hilarious dance moves and him jumping on top of the table where the wine and bread were, to the point where id start uncontrollably (but silently) cracking up in my little pew.
and then...we kept on moving once again.and again. and then again. i hate moving. it hurts. nobody wants to be a cosmopolitan when youre a kid.

Describe your first sexual encounter with another human being in extremely vivd detail.

confusing, anxious, ecliptic, extraterrestrial, musical, silent,late, unexpected. lit with green lighting and accompanied by a Greek choir. scented with baby Glade scent. little red army ants forming a circle around us. mario bros. 1 paused on level 2-3.

Let's say that you and Tal just finished making passionate love. Twice. Would you have a smoke?

Well, since ive just smoked a real fat one laced with god knows what before getting into bed with him, why not another!

First dates. Zoo or circus?

CIRCUS! first of all you have walk through the whole fkin zoo. and the circus is so much more crazy fun than the zoo. and im not accepting any cheap travelling amateurs, im thinking Cirque de Soleil.

You just had twins. They are your first borns. One is a boy, one is a girl.

The boy you can name:

Chuckweed
Burpomendo
Rollington
or
Michaljaksun

The girl you can name:

Dagina
Gorgatina
Orlandabellinanelle
or
Porkette

Choose from those names.

i defintly choose Rollington for the guy, it took me 3 seconds mickill, its the obvious answer. id name him Rollington but call him Joshua. as for the girl, i also made a quick choice and went for Orlandabellinanelle, because i could call her Orlanda for short, which seems within the sane.

What's it like living in Spain? Do you fear for your life? Do you worry about spanish gangs?

haha. well...Peru is a poor 3rd world country with parts of its capital city that contrast the vast broken down and underdeveloped areas. i live in the capital city, which i now love. its got all the same typical things as any other globalized modern country like mcdonalds and big football stadiums and nightclubs and bars and nightlife and beautiful architecture and parks and the ocean is around 5/10 minutes away from the more coastal neighborhoods, like mine. alot of surfing culture and a food culture thats famous internationally for its mix of spices and exclusive national products. peru has around an 80% poor population, something that is very present everyday, wether you are part of that population or not.
i dont fear for my life now because the terrorism days are gone for now, although next week during national elections, there might be a president elected that has pro-terrorist ideologies. if hes elected (first in the polls due to that hes addressing the poor large mass of the population) everyones saying theyre leaving the country, i sure dont plan to move once again.
gangs in the more dangerous parts of the city, not where i live. mango.

If you had to remove one part of your body with a pair of scissors (other than hair, fingernails or teeth) for 1 million dollars, would you? What body part?

NO FUCKING WAY. not for a million, not for 20 million. god, these questions mickill i hate you haha

Who are your 5 favorite people on this message board?

no cmon im not doing this ya nut! i come here for the intelligent and very interesting and inspiring things very few people have to say and for the many people that make me completely laugh my ass off. i also enjoy shooting my thoughts into dark space.

Who are your 5 least favorite? Don't be shy.

i would have to think about this but, i dont know, im defintly not answering this one if i didnt asnwer the one before, its a bit unthoughtful. no, ok, im not naming names, but i am saying it annoys me sometimes when people continually write stupid posts and never offer anything interesting ...and i found the perfect quote the other day to describe this: "Foolish consistency is the mark of a small mind"...remember that for next time you fkin idiots.

THANKS MAN! THIS HAS BEEN A BLAST! WOULD YOU LIKE TO GIVE ANY SHOUT OUTS?!

yes i would like to give shout outs to mickill, pauli, killer, nuzz, dandyfop, jabumbo, tal, misty, damaj, deepsea,randee, iceygirl,zorrita,assman,turd,bob, bionic,alruggs,tpk, pauly jones, kidp, tracky, beth, cosmo, auton, freeb,norcen,notoriousLOL, and tzar...for some reason or other...my memory probably caused me to forget many but please, join us now for champagne in the gazebo.

ohhh now i understand why everyone typed a period at the end of their posts

Jmoney77

03-31-2006, 01:46 PM

Shmee Shmaa

mickill

03-31-2006, 04:00 PM

THE SARKY DEVOTCHKA INTERVIEW

PROBING
THE MIND
OF A
SAVAGE LUNATIC

A mickill Joint

I'd like to first congratulate you on this rare opportunity to be interviewed by me. I'm sure that you're somewhat familiar with my interviewing steez, but I'll just re-enlighten you for the sake of those reading this who haven't yet experienced the magic. I'll be asking a series of remarkably offensive and juvenile questions, some of which you will actually care to answer. Okay, let's get this show on the road.

Describe for us your impression of the perfect hamburger, in terms of ingredients, texture, temperature, complexity, weight, volume, density and presentation.

What one person in this world would you want to spend the next ten years of your life living within a fully enclosed biospheric dome, completely isolated from the outside world, as a couple of human guinea pigs with?

Apart from your basic necessities, which would be provided, you also have the choice of bringing one of the following luxury items into the biospheric dome with you:

A television (with digital cable service)
A telephone (with a unlimited calling between 11pm and 4am and weekends)
A digital camera (with unlimited memory)
A hairbrush (with cushion base and soft grip)

Which celebrity/athlete/world class skeet shooter do you think you most closely resemble in appearance? How about in terms of personality?

If you were to be transmogrified into an animated cartoon character, what cartoon world would you want to be a part of?

If one day you found yourself stranded in the African wilderness of say Tanzania or Botswana, completely naked with nothing but a dozen 500 ml bottles of Evian, a pack of waterproof matches, a stick of dynamite and a compass, and you had to find a way to survive for the next 14 days, what one animal would you choose as your prey? Think in terms of clothing and food.

Word Association. Tell me the first word that comes to mind for each of the following:

grope

splooge

yak

jalopy

balls

squiggle

pork

Unscramble the following:

lkl sklci kenom blasl klei yotlatl

Name the three actinoids from the periodic table of elements that you find you most closely relate to.

If you were an onion, which of the following would you be? Explain

Yellow
White
Italian red
Pearl
Vivaldia
Green

If you could slap any one member from this message board across the groin and pinch their throat, who and why?

Describe a romantic and/or sexy scenario you'd like to experience. Please incorporate at least one marsupial, lycra pants, a Swedish pop band and a bulldozer into your answer.

I'd like to thank you for taking the time to share your thoughts with us, Ms. Devotchka. Do you have any shout outs or words of wisdom you'd like to share with the people?

Sarky Devotchka

03-31-2006, 04:19 PM

THE SARKY DEVOTCHKA INTERVIEW

PROBING
THE MIND
OF A
SAVAGE LUNATIC

A mickill Joint

I'd like to first congratulate you on this rare opportunity to be interviewed by me. I'm sure that you're somewhat familiar with my interviewing steez, but I'll just re-enlighten you for the sake of those reading this who haven't yet experienced the magic. I'll be asking a series of remarkably offensive and juvenile questions, some of which you will actually care to answer. Okay, let's get this show on the road.

Describe for us your impression of the perfect hamburger, in terms of ingredients, texture, temperature, complexity, weight, volume, density and presentation.

soft bun, medium density burger, flavorful beef, cheddar or american cheese, lettuce, ketchup, mayo, pickles. basically a rally's burger.

What one person in this world would you want to spend the next ten years of your life living within a fully enclosed biospheric dome, completely isolated from the outside world, as a couple of human guinea pigs with?

cort, or giusseppe andrews

Apart from your basic necessities, which would be provided, you also have the choice of bringing one of the following luxury items into the biospheric dome with you:

A television (with digital cable service)
A telephone (with a unlimited calling between 11pm and 4am and weekends)
A digital camera (with unlimited memory)
A hairbrush (with cushion base and soft grip)

the t.v. I love television!

Which celebrity/athlete/world class skeet shooter do you think you most closely resemble in appearance? How about in terms of personality?
some people think I look like drew barrymore. personality-wise, I have no idea...I guess zooey deschanel? that's why I love her I guess, it seems like we'd get along and we both have excellent hair.

If you were to be transmogrified into an animated cartoon character, what cartoon world would you want to be a part of?

Aquateen Hunger Force. I would be Meatwad's mom.

If one day you found yourself stranded in the African wilderness of say Tanzania or Botswana, completely naked with nothing but a dozen 500 ml bottles of Evian, a pack of waterproof matches, a stick of dynamite and a compass, and you had to find a way to survive for the next 14 days, what one animal would you choose as your prey? Think in terms of clothing and food.

mother fucking giraffees dude

Word Association. Tell me the first word that comes to mind for each of the following:

grope

fondle

splooge

pasta

yak

barf

jalopy

monopoly

balls

monkey

squiggle

meredith viera

pork

cheese

Unscramble the following:

lkl sklci kenom blasl klei yotlatl

kll licks monkey balls like totally

Name the three actinoids from the periodic table of elements that you find you most closely relate to.

the ones that rule

If you were an onion, which of the following would you be? Explain

I would never be an onion, I hate onions!

Yellow
White
Italian red
Pearl
Vivaldia
Green

fuck all those onions, seriously

If you could slap any one member from this message board across the groin and pinch their throat, who and why?

bob, because he won't show his beard

Describe a romantic and/or sexy scenario you'd like to experience. Please incorporate at least one marsupial, lycra pants, a Swedish pop band and a bulldozer into your answer.

I would like to compete in an indoor rowing competition with rirv in australia officiated by a kangaroo who really loves the Cardigans and somehow managed to get them to play a live concert after the competition on top of a bulldozer in the parking lot. then we totally do it through holes cut in our lycra pants!

I'd like to thank you for taking the time to share your thoughts with us, Ms. Devotchka. Do you have any shout outs or words of wisdom you'd like to share with the people?

eat it!

the end.

Echewta

03-31-2006, 04:21 PM

I'd teach you, but I'd have to charge.

zorra_chiflada

03-31-2006, 05:18 PM

The Zorra Interview

Well, I'm not too good at questions but I'll give it a start with, how are you today?
well, it's quite cold this morning. and joe's sick. but i'm ok. average, i'd say.

Good, good. What do you come to this mb for?
hmm, well i like talking to people from different places in the world. i like some of the people here. and i like finding out stuff about the beastie boys

If you were walking down the street and noticed if someone had a huge boogey on thier nose, would you be kind in telling them or just let them keep walking?
haha. yeah, i'd just keep walking. probably give them a look.

If a complete stranger of the opposite sex had their zipper down, would you tell them?
nope. that's their problem

How would you treat someone who is addicted to counseling?
hmm. good question. um, punch them? that's my solution to everything.

If Milli Vanilli were to fall in the woods, would someone else make a sound?
heh. i can't think of a funny answer.

What is the list of activities that you did during your last b-boys show?
well, we waiting outside for a while and met folks. then we went inside, and did pirate jigs to the suppport acts. and then we went and bought tshirts. and then we moved to the back of the crowd and the bboys played. and then they did a shoutout to me and joe. and then they walked around the back and i touched adrock. and then we danced some more. and then we went home.

What was your favorite Christmas gift and Birthday present? Do you still have them?
i got a bass guitar for my birthday or christmas (they're close to each other so i can't remember) when i turned 13. that made me happy. hmm i got a tv when i turned 18. yeah. prolly those.

If you had to pinch a loaf in a public bathroom full of people and they saw you walk into the stall and were still there while you handled your business, would you try to be discreet about it or just let it growl and echo off the walls?
i've been in this situation before. i try my hardest to be discreet. i might cough or flush the toilet so they can't hear things.

If you found a wallet loaded with cash but no identification of the owner, what would you do with it?
hmm. i don't think i would keep it. i would seriously feel guilty. i don't know. i wouldn't give it to the police because they'd take all the cash. hmm. if i couldn't find the owner, i'd probably give it to someone else to deal with. heh.

And the final question.... Do you and Pres plan on tying the knot and if so, would you invite the board members?
yes we do plan on marrying in the not too distant future. and we would very much like to invite board members if they would like to come.

Thanks for your time and I hope you enjoyed my crappy interview!
...

beastieiam

03-31-2006, 07:34 PM

hey...does anyone know what type of Judaism them boys practice?

TurdBerglar

03-31-2006, 07:38 PM

the jewish type

ericlee

03-31-2006, 09:42 PM

good answers zorra, as I said, I'm not the best at giving interviews but I tried the best I could.

Haha, the milli vanilli one, I would have answered that maybe the tree was supposed to make the noise for them but I guess since noone's around then they wouldn't hear it:confused:

I'm also the same way in a public stall, I don't know why and 9 outta 10, their never going to see me again so why not let it rip?

ericlee

04-01-2006, 10:52 PM

Oh hell no, I aint killing this thread till I get my interview!!

Freebasser

04-01-2006, 11:33 PM

The ever so entertaining ericlee interview

Welcome, welcome - please take a seat. Drink? Cigarette? Smoking jacket?

Now, let's get down to business shall we? What did you do with the money? I want my fucking money back.

Ok, you win. Now, the serious questions...

You're offered the chance to change that really annoying body part that you've hated all these years. You know the one I mean. That's right. You can make it perfect, but if you do, your life-span gets shortened by 10 years. Would you accept the offer?

If you had to go down in history as the greatest inventor who ever lived but be known as a notorious kiddie-fiddler, or never be remembered by anybody which would you choose?

What colour underpants am I wearing?

Would you like to wear them?

Would you eat them for $1000?

If you had to lose a sense, which one would it be?

Cum or come?

Have you ever been aroused by the image of two dogs going at it?

If train A is travelling at 150mph from location X, and train B is travelling at 125mph from location Z, then why does envelope glue taste so fucking disgusting?

Have you ever thought about another boardmember while sitting on the toilet?

Scabies or rabies?

What am I thinking about right now?

Thankyou for your time. The cheque is in the post. (It may bounce)

ericlee

04-02-2006, 10:29 AM

The ever so entertaining ericlee interview

Welcome, welcome - please take a seat. Drink? Cigarette? Smoking jacket?

Sure, I'll have a seat, ahhh, *poot*. It wasn't me, it was the chair, I promise. I'll have a Jameson, straight please. A cigarette? First, a cigarette is also known as a fag, it should say enough. Second, I'll never understand how smokers enjoy cigarettes. Too many additives and paper. Cigars on the other hand, more robust and enjoyable and natural at that. Nothing ever beats a Cohiba siglo. They can also make you look like a badass when you smoke them but you can't look like one while wearing a smoking jacket. The proper attire for me is wearing the Jacko jacket as worn on the video "beat it" and parachute pants while puffing on my cigar.

Now, let's get down to business shall we? What did you do with the money? I want my fucking money back.

What kind of buisiness talk is that. Fucking money accumulates throughout it's course of fucking. You'd get no profit if I were to give it to you now so get that business yackity smackity outta here.

Ok, you win. Now, the serious questions...

You're offered the chance to change that really annoying body part that you've hated all these years. You know the one I mean. That's right. You can make it perfect, but if you do, your life-span gets shortened by 10 years. Would you accept the offer?

Well, since my life span get's shortened by 10 years then I guess I don't want to replace it with that dog like I wanted to. That would be an additional 9 years on top of 10. On the other hand, elephants have an impressive life span so, 10 years off wouldn't do any harm. I'd just have to make sure it doesn't pull weeds from the ground and try to shove them in my ass but, it would serve a good purpose at the pub to feed me peanuts so that I could double fist my mugs.

If you had to go down in history as the greatest inventor who ever lived but be known as a notorious kiddie-fiddler, or never be remembered by anybody which would you choose?

I would love to be known as a kiddie fiddler, there's nothing wrong with goats man. Is there? As far as the greatest inventor goes, I wouldn't want to have all the fame and glory. I'd just want to be one of the ones who's achieved the most profit, for instance, did you ever think about how rich the guy is who invented the little reflectors on the roadways? I'd want to be him if I were to go down in history.

What colour underpants am I wearing?

Yeah, whatever Freeballer. You're not getting me with that one.

Would you like to wear them?

Refer to my answer above.

Would you eat them for $1000?

Dammit, just give me the cash

If you had to lose a sense, which one would it be?

hmm, smell. I suppose taste would go along with it but oh well. I've been to many places where you'd wish you couldn't smell. There's alot of things that are easy to look at but very troublesome to the nostrils.

Cum or come?

I'm never asking you to cum over again.

Have you ever been aroused by the image of two dogs going at it?

Aroused enough that I had to dump a bucket of cold water on myself so that I could get unstuck I tell ya!

If train A is travelling at 150mph from location X, and train B is travelling at 125mph from location Z, then why does envelope glue taste so fucking disgusting?

I'm not a conductor but, get from under the rock man, they make self adhesive envelopes nowadays. I sure miss the special stamps though.

Have you ever thought about another boardmember while sitting on the toilet?

Turd, I look around every corner and even in the toilet before taking a seat. I still don't know what he's doing with the dung. Making an adobe hut?

Scabies or rabies?

Well, you can't really have a heroic story to tell for the excuse of how you got scabies but, with rabies, many stories will prevail.

What am I thinking about right now?

Big fat blue veined stretch maked tittays

Thankyou for your time. The cheque is in the post. (It may bounce)

no applause, just throw money