If Canada disappeared, would anyone notice?

[Paul Nice]

Poor Canada. Canada is like Minnesota, but more boring. Culturally indistinct from America (except for the Quebecois, of course), Canada sits safe between two oceans and behind the might of America, sneering at her superior neighbor. America strides the world like a Colossus. Canada watches it pass by like a speedbump. Poor Canada. America has given the world rock and roll, jazz, hip hop, and the blues. Canada has given the world... nothing. America has produced Thomas Jefferson, Benjamin Franklin, Teddy Roosevelt, FDR, General Dwight D Eisenhower, MacArthur, Patton, and Kennedy. Canada has produced... no one. America has given the world the telephone, the telegraph, the phonograph, the electric light bulb, the airplane, the liquid fueled rocket, the personal computer, the birth control pill. Canada has given the world... nothing. America landed on the moon. Canada landed in Saskatchewan. Poor Canada. We don't begrudge you your bitter jealousy - we realized it is firmly based in the solid granite foundation of irrelevence and unimportance that is the hallmark of your nation.

Poor Canada.

[Schmeltz]

Wow, something got you all riled up alright.

If Canada is so culturally indistinct, and such a bad place to live, why can we smoke what we like, marry who we please, and get our health taken care of for free, while you can't do any of those things? Tell you the truth, I'd much rather live in boring old Canada than be loathed by the rest of the world as a symbol of greed and omnipotent incompetence. You talk about irrelevance and unimportance like they're bad things, but it wasn't three thousand Canadians who died on September 11th and it's not Canadian troops being sent to die in useless wars. You keep your relevance and importance, by all means, and we'll keep our bland, unimportant society - infinitely more peaceable, progressive, liberated, and forward-looking than your own.

[Rosie Cotton]

I think a lot of people would notice if Canada disappeared. It's pretty big.

[CSAR]

Originally Posted by Paul Nice

Poor Canada. Canada is like Minnesota, but more boring. Culturally indistinct from America (except for the Quebecois, of course), Canada sits safe between two oceans and behind the might of America, sneering at her superior neighbor. America strides the world like a Colossus. Canada watches it pass by like a speedbump. Poor Canada. America has given the world rock and roll, jazz, hip hop, and the blues. Canada has given the world... nothing. America has produced Thomas Jefferson, Benjamin Franklin, Teddy Roosevelt, FDR, General Dwight D Eisenhower, MacArthur, Patton, and Kennedy. Canada has produced... no one. America has given the world the telephone, the telegraph, the phonograph, the electric light bulb, the airplane, the liquid fueled rocket, the personal computer, the birth control pill. Canada has given the world... nothing. America landed on the moon. Canada landed in Saskatchewan. Poor Canada. We don't begrudge you your bitter jealousy - we realized it is firmly based in the solid granite foundation of irrelevence and unimportance that is the hallmark of your nation.

Poor Canada.

First of all, shut your hole dipshit. Canada created Peacekeeping, Canada produced Edgar Graham Bell (ahh, we wouldn't be using computers if it wasn't for him ). We also produced the first supersonic jet. We created hockey, we created basketball, plus we have way better beer than you do. By the way we never say we're "poor" because we don't whine like some Americans. Unlike America we don't go and hide because of some terrorists. Which, by the way, your country created . You know what go ahead and diss Canada because you know shit about it. Stay down there and do not come up here, we don't want you. I LOVE CANADA and damn proud to be a Canadian!! So fuck you!!

PLUS: Our country sent money to help the 9/11 victim's families. Our country sent firefighters and police officers to help out. I happen to know not all Americans feel the way you do about us, you're just the ignorant, arrogant example of America.

[Schmeltz]

America has given the world ... the blues.

Ha ha ha! It sure has! Especially Southeast Asia, Central and South America, and the Middle East.

Ohhhhhh, that's not funny.

[Rosie Cotton]

Originally Posted by Schmeltz

Ha ha ha! It sure has! Especially Southeast Asia, Central and South America, and the Middle East.

Ohhhhhh, that's not funny.

Africa's not doing too well either.

Yay, go us. We've given the world the blues, while we're stuck with red.

[Schmeltz]

We've given the world the blues, while we're stuck with red.

Heh, mine wasn't funny but that's a good one.

[DroppinScience]

What is this lame crap?

[Schmeltz]

Aw sheeit dogg, iss my homepiece Paul Niggity Nice flip-wiggin' on why Cizanada gots to be stone cold frontin, y'all. He ain't had a syllable of that shit, yo: nigga got to lay down whass on his mind and strong-arm some of that bbmb, awwwww yeah.

*Note: I am using Paul Nice's lexicon in an effort to bridge the vast cultural gap between us.

[Rosie Cotton]

Originally Posted by Schmeltz

Heh, mine wasn't funny but that's a good one.

Eh, I thought it was kinda lame myself. And it was my joke!

[CSAR]

Would the World notice if Paul Nice disappeared?? Probably not, what has Paul Nice given us?? Uhmmmm....NOTHING!! Haha

[Rosie Cotton]

Originally Posted by CSAR

Would the World notice if Paul Nice disappeared?? Probably not, what has Paul Nice given us?? Uhmmmm....NOTHING!! Haha

I wouldn't.

[Schmeltz]

HE GAVE THE WORLD THE FRESH SHIT YO

[Beth]

Originally Posted by Schmeltz

If Canada is so culturally indistinct, and such a bad place to live, why can we smoke what we like, marry who we please, and get our health taken care of for free, while you can't do any of those things?

let me preface my comments by saying i've never been to canada but i would love to go, i harbor no feelings of hatred nor do i think the u.s. is superior, etc. my boyfriend is canadian, and part of what makes him so great is where he was born and raised.

that said, your comments on smoking what you like aren't entirely true. my boyfriend just told me a story about how a 70 or 80 year old woman got busted for weed in canada. as for the u.s., it is up to each individual state. i don't know the drug laws of each state, but i do know for a fact that possession of a small amount of weed in alaska is legal (my friend went there last summer on an internship, and that's what she was told by criminal defense attorneys).

also, some states allow people to marry who they please, but the federal government will not recognize those marriages and will not allow other states to recognize those marriages should the couple move to a different state. i don't know canada's policy on such marriages; is it all of canada, or just where you live?

[Mic-Logic]

You know what's irrelevant!? This topic in this forum. Another insightful thread by the genius who created this.

[Schmeltz]

Yes yes. You know, I got busted smoking down a couple of weeks ago and nothing came of it - didn't even get my pipe confiscated. Right now the laws are so vague that the cops might bust you or they might not, but they're getting more and more lenient. Decriminalization of up to 15 grams, if not outright legalization, is just around the corner. If you ask Deaf, I'm sure he'll tell you that Canadians in general have a much more relaxed attitude toward weed than Americans do in general. Thank God.

I think 11 of 13 Canadian provinces/territories now recognize gay marriages, and soon it will be the whole country. My province just legalized the procedure a few weeks ago, round about the same time one-fifth of the USA decided that private relationships are public business. I tell you, nobody in Canada would ever take seriously the notion of introducing to the Charter of Rights or Constitution an amendment banning gay marriage. Well, maybe some of the Albertans.

Alaska sounds like a nice place to visit.

[Gazrock]

Originally Posted by Paul Nice

America has given the world the telephone
Poor Canada.

Alexander Graham Bell was scottish.

Originally Posted by Paul Nice

America landed on the moon.

Debatable.

Originally Posted by Paul Nice

We don't begrudge you your bitter jealousy - we realized it is firmly based in the solid granite foundation of irrelevence and unimportance that is the hallmark of your nation. .

I seriously doubt that Canadians are jealous of you or your country, they more than likely just pity fools (ala Mr T) like yourself for being a narrow minded idiot.
So you're american, and americans have invented plenty of good and useful things over the years - exactly what did YOU have to do with any of them??

[Rosie Cotton]

Originally Posted by Gazrock

Alexander Graham Bell was scottish.



Debatable.

He was born in Edinburgh, Scotland in 1847. His family moved to Ontario in 1870. Hmm, what was all that shite about Canada, Paul?

[Gazrock]

Originally Posted by Rosie Cotton

He was born in Edinburgh, Scotland in 1847. His family moved to Ontario in 1870. Hmm, what was all that shite about Canada, Paul?

I hate to shoot you down but I'd rather do it than that fool. He left canada after a year an moved to the U.S. Sorry

[Rosie Cotton]

Originally Posted by Gazrock

I hate to shoot you down but I'd rather do it than that fool. He left canada after a year an moved to the U.S. Sorry

He died in Nova Scotia in 1922. So he clearly went back.

[Gazrock]

Originally Posted by Rosie Cotton

He died in Nova Scotia in 1922. So he clearly went back.

Fair enough

[synch]

Trolling.

Intentionally disrupting a Usenet newsgroup by posting obviously inaccurate or inflammatory information hoping to get a rise out of people. The perpetrators are known as "trolls".

[Rosie Cotton]

Originally Posted by Gazrock

Fair enough

Well, to be fair, he DID become a US citizen in 1882. I guess we both win.

[Ace42]

Originally Posted by Paul Nice

behind the might of America, sneering at her superior neighbor. America strides the world like a Colossus. Canada watches it pass by like a speedbump. Poor Canada. America has given the world rock and roll, jazz, hip hop, and the blues. Canada has given the world... nothing. America has produced Thomas Jefferson, Benjamin Franklin, Teddy Roosevelt, FDR, General Dwight D Eisenhower, MacArthur, Patton, and Kennedy. Canada has produced... no one. America has given the world the telephone, the telegraph, the phonograph, the electric light bulb, the airplane, the liquid fueled rocket, the personal computer, the birth control pill. Canada has given the world... nothing. America landed on the moon.

Again Paul Nice rewrites history.

The liquid fuel rocket was used by the Nazis, it was called the V1 & 2 and used to bomb the UK. The US accepted Nazi war criminals (against its own rules, yet again) who then perfected their designs. However fully functional devices were in operation in Europe first.

The telegraph was designed by Joseph Henry, but the theory and the technology he used was designed by Sturgeon, a British inventor.

Edison bought the lightbulb off of a canadian
http://www.mysteriesofcanada.com/Ont...light_bulb.htm

The first electric computer was English, and was used as a decryption tool by the scientists at Bletchly park. Before this the English had been using valve computational devices for artillery ranging. The first mechnical calculatory device was created by Charles Babbage, also English. To be a "personal computer" you are only talking about size. At what point does a "big computer" become a "personal computer" ? When it is not a mainframe or multi-user? When it is portable?

Depending on your criteria, there are numerous candidates for first PERSONAL computer, the earliest publicly available example is indeed the Berkley Simon. However, numerous military and prototype units were made all over the world, and I do not beleive for a second you actually know authoritatively what the "first" personal computer actually was, or even what criteria you are using to define it.

America was not the first to put a man in space, nor even launch a rocket out there. That was the Russians.

Jazz originated with Creole blacks (french and spanish speaking with more european than continental American roots) who were often trained in PARIS. That's Paris, France.

This is the origin of all of the US's musical innovations (Rock and Roll, Hip hop, etc all has its origins in Jazz, which is as American as the statue of liberty, literally)

It seems from your list is that the US is only good at passing off the innovations of others as her own. So, "poor Canada - not a bunch of self-important idea-stealing assholes" would seemingly be more apt.

[Ace42]

Originally Posted by CSAR

PLUS: Our country sent money to help the 9/11 victim's families. Our country sent firefighters and police officers to help out. I happen to know not all Americans feel the way you do about us, you're just the ignorant, arrogant example of America.

And Canada got fucked over when the US's shitty under-invested power system caused a wide-spread power black-out that extended North o' the border too. What a surprise that US energy companies' being stingy cheap-ass bastards ends up fucking over everyone!

God bless good ol' fashion US capitalism!

[Frop]

Iam A PROUD Canadian!

But i just figured that i would list a few Canadian Inventions and i bet Paul Nice, uses a few of these Canadian USEFUL inventions:

acrylics (Plexiglas/Perspex/Lucite) - William Chalmers

Actar 911 CPR Dummy - Dianne Croteau, Richard Brault and Jonathan Vinden

air-conditioned railway coach - Henry Ruttan (1858)

antigravity suit - Wilbur R. Franks (1940)

Balderdash - Laura Robinson and Paul Toyne (1984)

basketball - James Naismith (1892)

batteryless radio (AC radio tube) - Edward Samuel Rogers Sr. (1925)

bovril

butter substitute

Canadarm - SPAR and the National Aeronautical Establishment (1981)

calcium carbide and acetylene gas (production of) - Thomas L. "Carbide" Wilson (1892)

carcino embryonic antigen (CEA) blood test - Dr. Phil Gold (1968)

cardiac intensive care unit (first)

cobalt bomb - University of Saskatchewan and Eldorado Mining and Refining (1951)

compound marine engine - Benjamin Franklin Tibbets compound revolving snow shovel (trains)

computerized braille

crash position indicator (C.P.I) - Harry T. Stevinson and David M. Makow (1959)

dental mirror

disintegrating plastic

ear piercer

electric cooking range - Thomas Ahearn (1882)

electric hand prosthesis for children - Helmut Lukas (1971)

electrical car

electric wheelchair - George J. Klein

electron microscope - Prof. E. F. Burton and Cecil Hall, James Hillier and

Albert Prebus (late 1930s)

electronic wave organ - Frank Morse Robb (1927)

explosives vapour detector - Dr Lorne Elias (1990)

fathometer - Reginald Fessenden

film developing tank

five pin bowling - Thomas E. Ryan (1909)

foghorn - Robert Foulis (1854)

frozen fish - Dr. Archibald G. Huntsman (1926)

garbage bag (green plastic) - Harry Wasyluk and Larry Hanson (1950s)

Gestalt Photo Mapper - G. Hobrough (1975)

gingerale - John J. McLaughlin (1904)

goalie mask - Jacques Plante (1959)

Green ink - Thomas Sterry Hunt (1862)

hair tonic

heart valve operation

helicopter trap (for landing on ships)

helium as a substitute for hydrogen in airships

Hockey

hydrofoil boat - Alexander Graham Bell and Casey Baldwin (1908)

IMAX - Grahame Ferguson, Roman Kroitor, Robert Kerr (1968)
instant potato flakes - Dr. Edward Asselbegs and the Food Research Institute (1962)

insulation

insulin (as diabetes treatment) - Dr. Frederick Banting, Dr. Charles Best and Dr. Collip (1921)

Java - James Gosling

Jetline

jolly jumper - Olivia Poole

kerosene - Abraham Gesner (1840)

lacrosse - played since the 1600s; William George Beers set out standard
rules (1860)

laser (sailboat) - Bruce Kirby, Ian Bruce and Hans Fogh (1969)

lightbulb- Henry Woodward (1874)

machine gun tracer bullet

MacPherson gas mask

measure for footwear

Muskol

Newtsuit - Phil Nuytten

news print - Charles Fenerty (1838)

Nursing Mother Breast Pads - Marsha Skrypuch (1986)

pablum - Drs. Alan Brown, Fred Tisdall, and Theo Drake (1930s)

pacemaker - Wilfred Bigelow

paint roller - Norman Breakey (1940)

panoramic camera - John Connon (1887)

Phi (position homing indicator for aircraft)

Pictionary - Rob Angel (1986)

pizza pizza telephone computer delivery services

portable high chair

Puzz-3D

(A) Question of Scruples - Robert Simpson (1984)

radar profile recorder - NRC (1947)

radio compass

retractable beer carton handle (Tuck-away-handle Beer Carton) - Steve
Pasjac (1957)

rollerskate

screw propeller

ski-binding

snowblower - Arthur Sicard (1927)

snowmobile - Joseph-Armand Bombardier (1937)

snowplow (rotary) - invented by J.W. Elliot (1869), first built by Leslie Brothers (1883)

steam foghorn

standard time - Sir Sanford Fleming (1879)

Stanley Cup - (Canada's Governor-General) Lord Stanley of Preston (1893)

Stol aircraft - de Havilland Canada (1948)

submarine telegraph cable

Superman - Joe Shuster and Jerome Siegel (1938)

table hockey - Donald Munro (1930s)

telephone - Alexander Graham Bell (1874)

Trivial Pursuit - Chris Haney, John Haney and Scott Abbott (1982)

variable Pitch Propeller - Wallace Rupert Turnbull (1918)

Walkie-Talkie - Donald L. Hings (1942)

washing machine

wirephoto - Sir William Stephenson (1921)

Yachtzee

zipper - Gideon Sundback (1913)

[drobertson420]

Originally Posted by Frop

Iam A PROUD Canadian!

But i just figured that i would list a few Canadian Inventions and i bet Paul Nice, uses a few of these Canadian USEFUL inventions:

acrylics (Plexiglas/Perspex/Lucite) - William Chalmers

Actar 911 CPR Dummy - Dianne Croteau, Richard Brault and Jonathan Vinden

air-conditioned railway coach - Henry Ruttan (1858)

antigravity suit - Wilbur R. Franks (1940)

Balderdash - Laura Robinson and Paul Toyne (1984)

basketball - James Naismith (1892)

batteryless radio (AC radio tube) - Edward Samuel Rogers Sr. (1925)....etc

What about Rush,man!?

[Frop]

Here is some Canadian actors.

Aykroyd, Dan: Comedian, Actor. "Saturday Night Live", "The Blues Brothers"

Bain, Conrad: Actor. "Diff'rent Strokes", "Maude".

Bairstow, Scott: Actor. "Lonesome Dove: The Series"

Bluteau, Lothaire : Actor. "Jesus of Montreal", "Black Robe"

Bochner, Lloyd: Actor. "Dynasty", "Naked Gun 2 1/2: The Smell of Fear"

Burr, Raymond: Actor. "Perry Mason", "Ironside"

Candy, John: Comedian, Actor. "SCTV"

Carrey, Jim: Comedian, Actor. "The Mask", "Ace Ventura: Pet

Detective", "The Truman Show"

Carson, Jack: Actor. "Mildred Pierce", "Cat on a Hot Tin Roof"

Chaykin, Maury: Actor. "Dances with Wolves", "Whale Music", "Buried on Sunday"

Chong, Thomas: Comedian, Actor. Half of Cheech and Chong

Colicos, John: Actor. "Anne of a Thousand Days", "The Postman Always Rings Twice", played the first Klingon on "Star Trek", "Battlestar Galactica"

Cronyn, Hume: Actor. "Shadow of a Doubt", "Sunrise at Campobello", "Cocoon"

Doohan, James: Actor. Scotty on "Star Trek"

Elliott, David James: Actor. "Melrose Place", "JAG"

Foley, David: Comedian, Actor. "Kids in the Hall", "News Radio"

Ford, Glenn: Actor. "Gilda", "The Big Heat", "The Blackboard Jungle".

Fox, Michael J.: Actor. "Back to the Future", "Family Ties"

Fraser, Brendan: Actor. "Gods and Monsters", "The Mummy"

Frewer, Matt: Actor. played "Max Headroom", "Honey, I Shrunk the Kids", "Star Trek:TNG"

George, Chief Dan: Actor. "Little Big Man" (AAN), "The Outlaw Josey Wales"

Goulet, Robert: Singer, Actor. "Naked Gun 2 1/2: The Smell of Fear"

Greene, Graham: Actor. "Dances with Wolves" (AAN)

Greene, Lorne: Actor. Played Ben Cartwright on "Bonanza", "Battlestar Galactica"

Greenwood, Bruce: Actor. "Exotica", "St. Elsewhere", "Nowhere Man"

Gross, Paul: Actor. "Due South", "Buried on Sunday"

Hartman, Phil: Actor, Comedian. "Saturday Night Live", "News Radio"

Hill, Arthur: Actor. "The Andromeda Strain", "A Bridge Too Far"

Huston, Walter: Actor. "The Treasure of the Sierra Madre" (AA), "Dodsworth", "The Devil and Daniel Webster", father of John Huston

Ireland, John: Actor. "All the King's Men", "Spartacus"

Ironside, Michael: Actor. "Scanners", "Top Gun", "Total Recall"

Levy, Eugene: Comedian, Actor. "SCTV", American Pie Movies

Lockhart, Gene: Actor. "Abe Lincoln in Illinois", "The Devil and Daniel Webster", "His Girl Friday", "Algiers" (AAN)

McCormack, Eric: Actor. "Will & Grace", "Street Justice"

McCulloch, Bruce: Comedian. "Kids in the Hall"

McDonald, Kevin: Comedian. "Kids in the Hall"

MacDonald, Norm: Comedian, Actor: "Saturday Night Live"

McKinney, Mark: Comedian. "Kids in the Hall", "Saturday Night Live"

Mandel, Howie: Comedian, Actor. "St. Elsewhere"

Manners, David: Actor, Author. "Dracula" (1930), "The Mummy"

Massey, Raymond: Actor. "Abe Lincoln in Illinois"(AAN), "East of Eden", "The

Naked and the Dead"

Moranis, Rick: Comedian, Actor. "SCTV", "Honey, I Shrunk the Kids"

Morse, Barry: Actor. "The Fugitive" (the original series), "Space 1999"

Myers, Mike: Comedian, Actor. Wayne Campbell on "Saturday Night Live"

Neville, John: Actor. "The Adventures of Baron Munchausen"

Nielsen, Leslie: Actor. "The Naked Gun", "Forbidden Planet". Brother was Deputy Prime Minister

Ontkean, Michael: Actor. "The Rookies", "Twin Peaks".

Perry, Matthew: Actor. "Friends"

Pidgeon, Walter: Actor. "How Green Was My Valley", "Forbidden Planet"

Pinsent, Gordon: Actor, Writer. "The Rowdy Man", "Who has Seen the Wind?", "John and the Missus", "Due South"

Plummer, Christopher: Actor. "The Sound of Music", "Star Trek VI"

Priestley, Jason: Actor. "Beverly Hills 90210"

Qualen, John: Actor. "Casablanca", "The Devil and Daniel Webster", "The Searchers", "Anatomy of a Murder"

Reeves, Keanu: Actor. "Johnny Mnemonic", "Speed", "Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure"

Rubinek, Saul: Actor. "Unforgiven", "The Outside Chance of Maximilian Glick", "Star Trek:TNG"

Russell, Harold: Actor, Soldier. received two Academy Awards for role in "The Best Years of Our Lives"

Sarrazin, Michael: Actor. "They Shoot Horses Don't They?", "Joshua Then and Now"

Sawa, Devon: Actor. "Casper" Movie

Sennett, Mack: Director, Comedian, Actor, Producer. the Keystone Kops, "Tillie's Punctured Romance"

Shatner, William: Actor. Captain James T. Kirk on "Star Trek"

Short, Martin: Comedian, Actor. "SCTV", "Saturday Night Live", "Clifford"

Silverheels, Jay: Actor. Tonto on "The Lone Ranger", "Key Largo"

Sutherland, Donald: Actor. "M*A*S*H", "Klute", "Ordinary People", "Eye of the Needle", "Bethune"

Sutherland, Kiefer: Actor, Director. "The Bay Boy", "Stand By Me", "A Few Good Men"

Thicke, Alan: Actor. "Hope and Gloria",Growing Pains

Thomas, Dave: Comedian. "SCTV", "Strange Brew", "Grace Under Fire"

Thompson, Scott: Comedian, Actor. "Kids in the Hall"

Vernon, John: Actor. "Animal House", "Dirty Harry"

Wincott, Jeff: "Night Heat"

Wincott, Michael: "The Crow", "Robin Hood, Prince of Thieves", "1492, Conquest of Paradise"

Wiseman, Joseph: Actor. "The Apprenticeship of Duddy Kravitz", played "Dr. No"

[drobertson420]

Don't forget Terrance and Phillip

[Frop]

Here is a link of Canadian Bands,
iam sick of typing stuff,

http://www.canoe.ca/JamMusicPopEncycloPages/a.html