so I just had a little confrontation with a jackass

[Poster Boy]

so, on a nightly basis, I walk my dog. I usually take my ipod with me and listen to some tunes whilst doing so. Just now, I was out doing just that when some dude starts following me. Great, I think, it's 4:15 AM and some creepy dude is following me.

I have my car keys on me as well, as I wanted to grab my cds out of there for the night. So, I'm walking towards my car when I realize it's not where I thought I parked it. I look around for a sec and see it, that same moment realizing I'd parked it closer than I remembered.

Now, here's the back story. Recently, there was a car break-in in the parking lot (a primary reason I thought to get my cds out). One singular break-in, mind you. This, of course, was enough to warrant the complex sending out a letter reminding us all on how to "be safe" as we all know these practices result in the complete irradication of all car theft/burglary.

So, yeah, to this dude- I can see how it looked suspicious. Some guy wondering around at 4am who suddenly stops, turns 160 degrees and goes towards a different part of the lot.

Since I've got my ipod on, I don't hear what he says first and only soon notice that he's nodding for me to respond. I take the headphones off....

"What's up?" I inquire.
"What are you up to, buddy?" He replies. Please apply the italics to mean he used the most assholish tone possible on 'buddy'.
"I'm getting some stuff out of my car." I explain. Thus far, holding back on the sarcasm.
"Why don't you open your car then?" He says.
"That's the plan." I say....minimal assholishness on my part. But still a measurable amount.

So, I open the car. But he is not pleased. Now would also be a good place to mention that he is dressed in a t-shirt, boxers, no shoes and a trucker hat. I assume he lives here only based off his bullshit questions.

"Hey, that's a neat trick." He says, maximum asshole.

So, I quickly run down the facts in my head. This guy thinks that I put on an ipod, grab a minature fucking dachsund, and wonder around apartment complexes in my pajamas in the middle of the night to rip people off. Ok. Sure. 'Be Safe' and what not. Though, nowhere on that flyer did it suggest you appraoch potential thieves while acting like a prick. And to boot, he thinks I've pulled some Houdini shit and opened a car door using magic keys to prove my legitimacy.

"Do you live here?" My dog is barking it's head off so I pick him up.
"Yeah."
"What apartment number."
"Pretty sure that's none of your business."

That pissed him off. So, much like in an internet fight where the person losing goes for the "you take the internet too seriously" defense, he plays his only card.

"Well, maybe it'll be the cops business, ay? Want me to call the cops?"

I dig out all the assholishness I can muster and smile and say
"As much as I want to go to sleep....please do. I'd love that."

He says nothing and turns and walks away. From what he decides is a safe distance, he calls out something about how I should stay inside this late/early.

My favorite part of this encounter was how, based on his dress, he was either outside for a nice 4am wank or he was literally watching out a window just waiting for such an opportunity to showcase his bad assedness.

The End.

[Nivvie]

I'd say you were up to no good, and the little dog's a decoy.
It's like reverse psycology.
That's why years ago no one quetioned me as I climbed through my own window after losing my keys, as surely no one would do that in broad daylight? I really should have robbed myself, called the police and claimed on the insurance, as should you.

[befsquire]

i can only hope a situation arises where you have a legitimate reason to call the police on that asshole.

i was wondering, why did you change your SN? i'm sure the answer is on this board somewhere, but i'm tired and it's easier for you to just tell me.

[ericlee]

I aint readin' all that shit, Jackass.

I will later though, when I've got time.

[Poster Boy]

Originally Posted by ericlee

I aint readin' all that shit, Jackass.

I will later though, when I've got time.

you should. it's a good read.

[Poster Boy]

Originally Posted by befsquire

i can only hope a situation arises where you have a legitimate reason to call the police on that asshole.

i was wondering, why did you change your SN? i'm sure the answer is on this board somewhere, but i'm tired and it's easier for you to just tell me.

eh, one day I went browsing through old posts under the mr films sn and decided I wanted to distance myself from all that shit.

something like that...

[Teh]

Can i just say, this is totally written like a screenplay or something, which i suppose is a given.

Just some people yo, you should've choked him with your headphones.