Fondue and Porn party

[DandyFop]

For my friend's 23rd bday, we had a Fondue N Porn Party. Except, one problem arose, which I was afraid of. It was all gay guys, thus...we had all gay porn. Now I might not mind two guys making out or something, maybe even doing it, but licking hairy buttholes is not something I find attractive.

I was also extremely freaked out when they put a hose up a guy's butt and then had him squirt the water back out - though, if this ever becomes a kind of Olympic sport, that guy would probably win for distance.

My friend and I went in search of straight porn, with about 10 dollars in our pocket (yes, we know you can get it online but we wanted some shitty plotlines, not just money-shots). The only shit we could find was 20 - 30 bucks, so we came back empty-handed. Then I remembered, duh, Pay-Per-View! We ended up watching some Swingers porn that was pretty lame, and didn't even have the bad plot-lines we were looking for. Some girl that looked about 15 because she was flat as a board and had braces, queefed constantly and said thinds like "do you like it when my pussy talks to you baby?". I guess that was a way of turning a negative into a positive...

I did save the chocolate fondue though.

Some of my friends who've never been "intimate" got freaked out when the girls were constantly gagging themselves on the over-sized penises, but I guaranteed them that that's not what has to transpire.

So the moral of the story is here, folks - if you're going to have a fondue and porn party, make sure that you get some good porno before coming. And also, if the chocolate isn't melting just use the damn microwave, DUH!

[yeahwho]

The problem with mixing porn and fondue is those sharp sticks you put your fondue on can be spooky, which causes loss of erection. I know this is all documented already, just thought I put my 2 inches in.

[CrankItUp!]

Shit ! Why the hell pay for porn when the fucking is for free all over the internet ?

[ericlee]

and people wonder why I say maybe it's best most of the time to keep the fact that if they're gay a secret...

[DandyFop]

Originally Posted by yeahwho

The problem with mixing porn and fondue is those sharp sticks you put your fondue on can be spooky, which causes loss of erection. I know this is all documented already, just thought I put my 2 inches in.

I'm not sure that any erections were had...one of the gay guys was more turned on by the straight porn because the other one was just nasty.

And then the only straight guy there, after seeing the guy with the hose...I think he might have a problem for a while.

[yeahwho]

Must of been bad porn. Bad porn and fondue isn't really a party is it?

[CrankItUp!]

Lesbian porn with squirtin' !

[tracky]

I've only read about it and it's gonna take me a while to get over THANKS FOR THE MENTAL IMAGE!!! I bet they liked dipping their sticks in that chocolate

[DandyFop]

Originally Posted by yeahwho

Must of been bad porn. Bad porn and fondue isn't really a party is it?

Apparently I missed the worst of it...

We were then going to break into pairs and each come up with our own porn title/intro but never got around to it.

And there was a cake! So of course it was a party!

[yeahwho]

Originally Posted by tracky

I've only read about it and it's gonna take me a while to get over THANKS FOR THE MENTAL IMAGE!!! I bet they liked dipping their sticks in that chocolate

Yeah I have to agree, you've just put images of something in my brain I would really not like to have.

Did anybody dip a dingleberry in the fondue sauce?

What type of fondue sauce was it?

heh heh heh fondue sauce......

[ericlee]

Originally Posted by yeahwho

Yeah I have to agree, you've just put images of something in my brain I would really not like to have.

Did anybody dip a dingleberry in the fondue sauce?

What type of fondue sauce was it?

heh heh heh fondue sauce......

thanks dude, now I'm never gonna be able to eat dingleberries again.

[DandyFop]

What mental image are you talking about exactly? The water-squirting guy? Or the 14 year old lookalike who liked to pretend her vag was talking?

The porn had nothing to do with the fondue. I have no idea how we came up with the concept, actually.

[yeahwho]

Originally Posted by DandyFop

What mental image are you talking about exactly? The water-squirting guy? Or the 14 year old lookalike who liked to pretend her vag was talking?

The porn had nothing to do with the fondue. I have no idea how we came up with the concept, actually.

I wish you would of told me there was cake at this party right from the beginning. That would of cleared up a lot of things, avoiding all these akward questions.

sorry bout messing up anyones dingleberry enjoyment.

[Calimero jr.]

Next time go for cheese fondue, you really don't wanna porn after that