With all these people my age getting married

[DandyFop]

I find myself increasingly glad that my happiness isn't based upon someone else. I'm not saying that's how all people in relationships are, just the majority of those I come across lately. I fail to "get it" anymore. I've seen people's myspace pages where their quote is something like "I'm so loved, I love you baby" and shit like that and all their comments are back and forth like "Wow baby I miss you" and it's kinda hilarious to me. I remember how dependant I once was on having someone's attention and someone's love and not needing that any longer is fucking awesome.

There's this girl I know that's my age who is into the same kinda thing I hope to get involved in - comedy improv, blah blah. She performs at some crappy local place and whatever, that's fine, but she just got married last year and they just bought a house. And I realized, well that's it for her. She's going to stay in that job she's in, be in random stupid parody shows for a while, eventually start having babies, and settle into being a wife and mother. If that is what makes her happy that's a-okay, but I am so glad that isn't me and that I'm going to have an actual shot at doing what I want to do because I won't be held back by someone else, or the financial investments we've made, or yada yada no matter if I love them or not.

I really don't know where this came from all of a sudden but...yeah....

[TurdBerglar]

i always thought of as being unhealthy for someone to NEED someone to be truely happy.

[Yetra Flam]

you know, it's weird, from the age of about 18 i've felt that the race is on, and i really need a husband, and get married early.
this is probably something to do with how old my parents were when they married. i find that really wrong.

[ScarySquirrel]

Eh, it sounds like you basically have a very similar philosophy towards life as me... which is to make sure that you do you.

Forget all that stuff you're "supposed" to do, or whatever everyone else wants you to do. Make sure you're happy with your ish and let life take its course from there.

But, on the other hand, maybe the whole marriage and getting locked down into being a parent is their course. Live and let live, I guess. Keep on rockin' in the free world.

[DandyFop]

Well I just don't get people who have to get married either. What is the rush exactly? Can't you wait a few years?

with that said this cute guy that rock climbs told me to call him tonight but I'm too nervous

I should just smoke a bowl and then I won't care!

[Yetra Flam]

Originally Posted by DandyFop

Well I just don't get people who have to get married either. What is the rush exactly? Can't you wait a few years?

i don't want to wait until i'm in my 40s or even in my late fucking 50s like my father.

[TurdBerglar]

i think people shouldn't start trying to settle down until their late twenties/early thirties

[DandyFop]

Yeah but there's a big difference between 20s and 40s or 50s

[Yetra Flam]

all of a sudden i'm reminded of the theme song from dawson's creek

"i don't wanna wait....for our lives to be oooooverr"

[TurdBerglar]

hahahaha

you watched dawson's creek!


hahahaha

[DandyFop]

I think zorra and turd should just bone already

[TurdBerglar]

jesus christ

[milleson]

Married for 8 years last week, biatches.

[Yetra Flam]

i did not watch it! everyone knows the theme song from dawson's creek! jesus!

[milleson]

Originally Posted by DandyFop

I think zorra and turd should just bone already

I second that motion.

[Yetra Flam]

and that's like telling someone to have sex with their little brother

[TurdBerglar]

my real little brother sucks

[DandyFop]

maybe you could all have a threeway guyz. incest zzz beztrzzzzsafsfa

[TurdBerglar]

Originally Posted by TurdBerglar

jesus christ

my brother smells

[Loppfessor]

Damnit I was hoping this was going to finally be the "yes Loppykins....I think I am finally ready to settle down and tie the knot" thread....

[cosmo105]

i think i'm in a really healthy and happy relationship right now, but i've got the sense to know that i'm way too young to get married. it's something i can see in the future, but it's not what i'm working toward or what i use to define my life, if that makes sense. it'll be nice when it does happen, but that will be because it won't happen until i am absolutely positive it's the right time. i have a lot i want to accomplish in my life, and i include having a family in that list of aspirations, but there's far more to my dreams than that.

[Kid Presentable]

Basing your worldly wisdom on myspace and what you think you know about other peoples motivations = lol

Be happy in yourself to the level where you trust your own choices, and don't need to criticize others decisions to make you feel better about your own.

[DandyFop]

KidP you have to realize that where I come from, the norm is generally getting married when you are 19/20, becoming a dental assistant, then busting out 4 or 5 kids. To me that's extremely unappealing and when I see it it just makes me appreciate that I want something different. A lot of people I know are taught that this is their real goal in life, to marry and have babies ASAP, and I just feel that's pretty silly.

So in that sense, fuck yes I will criticize them for continuing to overpopulate the earth.

[Knuckles]

I guess I agree with the 4 or 5 kids thing but what if they are truly happy being a wife, mother and dental assistant?

If something makes you happy in this life, do it.

[tracky]

yeah i'm pretty much with knuckles all the way on this one. 4-5 kids maybe a couple too many, but whatever makes them happy.

[Calimero jr.]

I got married this year and I'll become father in a few months. We didn't do it because we thought "this is what we are supposed to do", it's just that we decided as a couple that this was we wanted to do. The idea to have a family and to become father is giving me far more satisfaction in life than any other job/money or material thing could.
And I'm happy that we didn't wait years and years of relationship before going forward, I think that most people expected that we would wait some more years. I'm 30 now, and I'm happy to think that I will still be in my '40-50s when my kid(s) will be teenagers/young adults.
And here with an average of a bit less than 2 child per family, it's still not enough to prevent the population to get older, so no worries for me to overpopulate the planet.

[Documad]

Most of my high school friends got married young and they've never left the state, or perhaps they've been to western Wisconsin. They don't even drive into the city, except possibly once every year for the holiday parade. They pretty much hang out with their other family members every weekend, and all the little cousins play together. I always thought it was crazy to be so tied to your siblings, but then I wasn't close to mine, and my parents both moved away from their siblings in the late 1940s so I barely know my cousins.

I don't care whether people make the choice to stay in the same place and get married young, but I wonder whether it's something they really wanted or whether they never had a chance to think about other options. If you knew that you had options, and you decided to stay put, that's great. It would have been a disaster for me, because I'm a completely different person than I was at 20 or even at 25. I shudder to think what my life would have been like if I hadn't challenged myself. I'm not talking about employment accomplishments, etc., it's more that I was a very shy person and leaving home forced me to grow. I can't imagine living without the interesting people I've met over the years and the things I've seen and done.

Maybe when I'm old, I'll regret not having dozens of kids and other family members in town to take care of me though.

By the way, where you live, perhaps people don't divorce often, but in my experience, about 50% of those people who marry at 20-25 will divorce within 10-15 years and they will be trying to find themselves then. They will often start to hang out in bars and it's not a pretty sight.

[Documad]

Of course, if you someday want to be married with more than one kid, you shouldn't wait too long. There will be fewer available men when you're older, and you get less fertile. I have friends who wanted multiple kids but they didn't start trying to have them until they were in their 30s and they've been very very frustrated because they can't have the family they wanted. I don't think any of them wish they'ld married the guy they dated in college, but they do have regrets.

Women see celebrity women having kids in their 40s and they don't realize that it's not possible for most women, it's also a heartbreaking experience to go through all the doctor visits and crazy drugs, etc. About half of my friends never want to have kids. As for the others, most of them started trying at about age 32-33, it took 5 years to get pregnant with the first kid, and then they couldn't get pregnant with a second kid. Then there were some who couldn't get pregnant at all.

My few friends who had kids when they were young and who stayed married are looking at being empty nesters by the time they're 50, and they'll be able to do a lot of things as a couple when they're still healthy enough to have some fun (if they have money left over from paying for the kids' college ). The ones who waited to have kids have to wait longer to be empty nesters.

I guess I'm just saying that all the choices you make and fail to make affect your options down the road so it's good to think about what you're doing instead of just floating along.

[Kid Presentable]

Originally Posted by DandyFop

KidP you have to realize that where I come from, the norm is generally getting married when you are 19/20, becoming a dental assistant, then busting out 4 or 5 kids. To me that's extremely unappealing and when I see it it just makes me appreciate that I want something different. A lot of people I know are taught that this is their real goal in life, to marry and have babies ASAP, and I just feel that's pretty silly.

So in that sense, fuck yes I will criticize them for continuing to overpopulate the earth.

Yeah I didn't make that connection. Just more a general rule from my point of view is all; don't justify your choices by what other people do, just make the right ones for you. And so you do.

[AceFace]

i've been with my husband now for over 8 years, married for 4 of them. we got married in our late 20s. i go through the same feelings as Dandy. We have such an independent relationship. i mean we do depend on each other for money and we are truly happy together. but we work opposite shifts, we have our own friends and we pretty much see each other on the weekends and we like it that way! by saturday, we're sooo happy to see each other it's rediculous.

seeing people with their myspace default name like "the Pedersens" or whatever, it makes me sad. i feel like i have a well rounded life b/c i have a great husband and i am free to be myself and to peruse things i like without having him attached to me. if i wanna go to the Virgin Festival for 4 days and he doesn't want to go, i find someone else that does and i go. he doesn't get mad. he asks to see my pics and lets me tell my stories when i get back and he's happy i had an awesome time.

the one thing i get allll the time is "when are you gonna have kids"? well we're not going to have them. we decided that long ago. we want a boat. we want to travel. we want to move to a bigger city. we want a stacked IRA so we can retire really early and fuck off the rest of our life. we have that planned. and people REALLY don't get that. they don't understand that you can be married without having a set plan of kids and work and that's it.

the end.